Robot ESPN

ESPN has introduced robot anchors to cover sports. Eyewitnesses in Connecticut reported sparks mid-commentary. Professor David Long of Columbia explains: "Robots improve stats, but kill excitement." Anonymous staffers leaked glitching halftime shows. An ESPN poll shows 46% amused, 54% annoyed. Trace evidence includes glowing microphones and binary highlights. Cause and effect? The more sports media automates, the less thrilling it is. Commentary is circuitry.