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Rimming Images
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Welcome to the wonderful world of analingus.
Anal play is all the rage at the moment. Everyone is talking about butt stuff —and no, we're not just referring to anal sex . With people trying everything from anal toys to pegging , there are no limits in this game, friend.
For those curious about expanding their anal repertoire, might we suggest the rim job? Rimming—also known as analingus, tossing salad, ass eating, peach munching, eating the booty like groceries, etc.—is when you use your tongue and lips to stimulate your partner’s anus. The move "is referred to as 'rimming' because often, the rim or outer edges of the anus [are] the focus area[s]," says Dr. Kristie Overstreet , a psychotherapist and clinical sexologist. "This doesn't mean that only the rim is stimulated."
Rimming can involve penetration of the tongue into the anus, circling around it, or licking or kissing all the around the rest of the butt. “This region of your butt is a highly erogenous zone with a plethora of nerve endings,” explains Dr. Evan Golstein , founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical and The Future Method . This is why rimming feels good, regardless of sexual orientation or gender. "The sensations are indescribable,” he says, "though most people compare it to having their most sensitive and ticklish areas kissed or licked.”
Although rimming has traditionally been thought of as a fringe sex act, it's been on the rise recently, with shows like Girls and Nicki Minaj's " Anaconda " bringing it into the mainstream. In fact, according to a 2008 study of American men, 24% said they had performed analingus on their partners, while 15% said that a partner had performed it on them. More recently, a 2012 Esquire poll of 500 men found that 12% secretly wished they were getting more anilingus. Alas, it's tough to find more recent data. Most studies have focused on how common anal sex is, but not rimming, specifically.
It's possible. Hepatitis A, herpes, HPV, syphilis, and gonorrhea can be transmitted through a rim job, Goldstein says. Hepatitis A is directly spread through feces, whereas syphilis , HPV (genital warts), and herpes are spread through skin-to-skin contact, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). While herpes is usually located in the mouth or genitals, you can also get it on your lower back and buttocks—known as sacral herpes . Oral gonorrhea can be spread by rimming, too.
There are a couple of things you can do to decrease the likelihood of STI transmission during rimming. First, keep an eye out for cuts or abrasions on the tongue, lips, gums, or rectum. These cuts can become entry points for infection and transmission, the CDC notes.
Second, there's the option of using a dental dam, Goldstein says. Dental dams are thin, latex or polyurethane sheets used between the mouth and vagina or anus during oral sex. They’re not as easy to find at local corner stores as condoms, but you can pick them up from Planned Parenthood or purchase them online .
“You can get bacterial infections like e.coli and salmonella from rimming,” Goldstein says. “Giardia, a microscopic parasite that is passed through feces, and other parasites can also be transmitted through rimming.”
Luckily, this is pretty easily preventable. The key is washing around your anus with soap and water. But make sure to use antibacterial soap! Also: “Avoid rimming if you or your partner has been sick or is experiencing symptoms of a possible stomach bug,” Goldstein says. That’s because “bad” bacteria usually comes from contaminated food, and most people experience diarrhea or stomach pain after ingestion. So if your partner's stomach is upset, they’re more likely to transmit bad bacteria to you through rimming.
Contrary to popular belief, you don't need to douche or enema to prep for rimming. “Doing an enema is typically for play that goes a bit deeper," says Alicia Sinclair, a clinical sexologist and CEO of the sex toy company b-Vibe . When you rim, you don’t penetrate the anus. You’re licking the external anus, for the most part. (Perhaps you can get a half-inch inside the anus with your tongue, but that’s really it.) So an enema is not necessary the way it is if you’re being penetrated with a penis or dildo.
Let's get one thing straight right off the bat: before you put your tongue or mouth on anyone’s butt, you have to ask for your partner's consent. Make sure both you and your partner are down to give this a try. “Being able to trust your partner and talk about what does or does not feel good makes a big difference in the experience,” Overstreet says.
If you go down south without asking your partner if it's OK beforehand, that won’t be fun for anyone. It could even be traumatizing for them. “Shock or discomfort also makes the anal muscles tense up, which means less pleasure for all parties involved,” Sinclair warns.
Once your partner has given you the OK (or you've given your partner the OK), you can simply incorporate it into your regular sex session. “If you are the receiver, you can ask your partner while they are giving you oral sex [or a hand job] to back up and stimulate the anal area,” suggests Overstreet.
Sinclair suggests stimulating your own anus to get used to the sensation beforehand. It’s important to figure out what might feel good for you. You can do this using your fingers or with a small butt toy. Be sure to use lots of lube .
You might be wondering: OK, so how do I actually lick this butt now that I’m down here? Start by trying to put your partner at ease, says Sinclair. "Massage around the bum a bit, slowly making your way in towards the anus with gentle movements,” she says. This will help them relax.
Sinclair says one of the best analingus techniques is to “swirl the tip of your tongue in a circle around the opening,” she says. “You can [also] flick the tip of your tongue up and down just over the opening.” Another tip? Try softening the tongue and licking up and down the entire anus, “sort as if you were eating an ice cream cone.”
Again, communicate with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t, and always listen to your partner’s body. “When the receiver gets more aroused, or when you find a move that really works for them, you might notice that the anus relaxes and expands a little bit," says Overstreet. This is a good sign. It means the body is responding positively to the pleasure.
If you're receiving, offer feedback about what feels good to you. Overstreet says to breathe into your body, focus on the pleasure, and try to relax as much as possible.
If you find you enjoy it, go forth and experiment! Try rimming on your back, or maybe give facesitting a try. Don’t be afraid to venture into new territory. Sex is fun and we should all get a little creative every once in a while. Otherwise, what’s the point?
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"Rimming" may sound like a neat skateboard trick. And "toss the salad" may sound like a simple cooking instruction. But actually, both are euphemisms for a sex act that can bring big time pleasure: analingus.
And though people are more open to talking about it now, butt play isn't anything new. It's been a thing long before Nicki Minaj was rapping about oral-anal in "Anaconda," or Desi made love to Marni’s bum with his tongue in Girls.
Still, it wasn’t until peach play entered the cultural zeitgeist that rimming started to get the attention it deserves. But here’s the thing: A sex act as pleasurable as analingus could always get more attention (and experimenters), since rimming can be pleasurable to receive and/or give.
"As a stand-alone act, receiving rimming can be just as or more pleasurable than any other kind of anal sex," says Carol Queen, PhD, sexologist with sex toy company Good Vibrations . "Giving anal-oral can also be hot because you’re turning someone on, doing a service act for them, and it's super naughty."
Intrigued? Ahead, renowned sexologists and educators share all the intel on exactly what rimming entails. (Just be warned: You’ll be aching to bend over or bend someone over after reading about it.)
Rimming is the colloquial term for the act of licking in and around the (ahem) rim of another person's asshole. Also known as analingus, it's oral sex performed on a butt, explains Queen.
"Rimming often involves circling the entrance of the ass," she says. But just as is true with oral on vulvas and penises, there are lots of options for oral-anal play, she explains. "Tongue penetration can be part of it, too," she says.
"It's definitely a legitimate source of sexual pleasure for many people," says Kimberly McBride , PhD, Associate Professor of Public Health at the University of Toledo, who's extensively researched anal sex. In fact, she encourages people not to "shy away from that kind of an exploration because it can be very pleasurable."
Why does it feel so good, exactly? "There are a lot of erotic nerve endings in the anus, so people can really find themselves having a different, better orgasm from rimming," explains Joe Kort , PhD, a certified sex therapist in Royal Oak, Michigan. Plus, you can even get more aroused than usual since the area's typically unexplored, he adds.
Oh and btw, it's totally possible to orgasm from analingus without penetrative sex , according to both Kort and McBride. But even if a ride to rim town doesn’t bring you a Big O, incorporating it into your sexual repertoire can still enhance the overall experience. According to McBride, rimming can lead to more intense vaginal orgasm . Noted!
For some pleasure-seekers, rimming can be psychologically arousing, too, because despite the fact that Nicki has rapped about it, bum play, in a sense, still remains taboo. And taboos can be sexy because they activate the ~forbidden~ part of our brains, McBride explains.
Here's exactly how to give (and receive) a rim job.
Surprise parties can be fun. But a surprise peach parting? Nope! Consent is essential to giving a rim job—and, obviously, receiving one, too.
Your bedroom beau isn't a mind reader, which is why if you're interested in rimming, McBride recommends introducing the idea of "tossing the salad" when you’re fully clothed. "It's always better to talk about a new sexual act in a non-sexualized moment," she explains. (It feels less intimidating that way.)
In fact, McBride recommends having this discussion well in advance of getting naked, so your partner has enough time and space to decide whether or not they want to add rimming to the menu.
Once you've found the right moment, it's all up to you on how you approach the topic . According to McBride, coming right out and asking to receive or give a rim job is on the table. For example, you can say "The thought of you eating my ass really turns me on. Does that have any interest to you?" Cheers to being a direct communicator!
But if that's not your style or comfort level, she suggests saying something a bit less, well, blunt. Try: "Oh, my friend was talking about this experience, and she really enjoyed it. It's something I might like to pursue." Or: "I saw an article about rimming. What do you think about trying it?" (I mean, it's the truth...)
The hard truth is that your partner may not want to hop on the peach-licking pony. For whatever reason, they may not have interest in oral-anal sex.
If you’re worried about being shot down (totally normal fear!), Kort recommends sharing that fear with your partner and asking them to withhold judgment until after you explain exactly why you're interested in trying something new.
"I never support a conversation stopping just because one person says that they don't want to do it," he explains. Instead, he suggests coming up with a mutually-desirable solution together. You might ask your partner, "How are we going to negotiate this in a way that respects both of our boundaries?"
You can ask them to explain W-H-Y they are not interested. For instance, "I respect your no, but if you’re open to it, I’d love to hear why you’re so against giving it a try." Or, "Are you comfortable if I ask a follow-up question or two about why?"
Because anal play of any kind isn’t really taught in sex ed., it’s common for people to be afraid of the unknown, or to have misconceptions about anal play being "dirty" or "painful." (FTR: Anal sex shouldn’t be painful .)
If your partner is open to it, you could use this as an opportunity to educate them about the true pleasure potential of the peach. Just remember: No means no. So, the goal here is *not* to get your partner to eventually cave in to your desires (rimming), Kort says. "The goal is to allow you to share your sexual interests with your partner."
If they're not down with rim jobs, the good news is that there are options! They might be okay with watching an erotic movie that features rimming, for example, or talking through a rimming fantasy together.
Or, maybe they’re down to circle your entrance with a ton of silicone lube and their finger. The sensation is similar to rimming, according to Queen. Or, maybe they’re down to let you explore that interest with someone else. You and your partner should communicate your boundaries to one another.
Sadly, anal play is still shrouded in a whole lot of myths and misconceptions. The most pervasive one? That anal play will bring you face-to-face with dung.
Here’s the thing: Assuming the receiver didn’t do a half-ass (heh) wipe job, the risk of coming into contact with poop during analingus is small. Poop, after all, isn’t stored in the anal canal—it simply passes from the colon through the anal canal on the way out of your body, explains Queen.
Still, at the end of the day...a butt's a butt. And considering you've probably spent plenty of QT with your own, you know what it does. So if you're worried about cleanliness or smell, McBride and Kort recommend showering ahead of time. Or to get in the ~mood~, shower together.
While you're there, why not warm up with these tried-and-true shower sex positions?
However you decide to suds up, McBride advises "washing gently with warm water and soap." She also recommends staying far away from any cleansers that are too astringent. They can make your anus more prone to cracking (think: chapped lips) "because some cleansers can actually draw moisture away from the anus and make the tissue more prone to contracting STIs," explains McBride.
Look for body wash or bars labeled "fragrance free" since traditional soaps (meaning the ingredient, not an actual bar of soap) fall into that heavily astringent category.
Don’t hate the messenger, but just like most other sex acts, rimming can transmit sexually transmitted infections.
"Oral transmission of bacterial (e.g. gonorrhea and chlamydia) and viral (e.g. HIV and HPV) STIs can and does happen," explains McBride."If you add other factors, such as the use of certain lubricants, a lowered immune system, microtrauma to the skin or mucous membranes, or an existing STI, the chances increase."
STIs aside, because the risk of poop is higher during oral-anal than during sex acts that don’t involve the butt (duh), the risk of other kinds of infections is higher. Ingesting poop particles—even imperceptible poop particles—can transmit bacteria like e. Coli and shigella , as well as intestinal parasites like giardia . Blegh .
To make things less risky, McBride recommends using a dental dam. ICYDK, dental dams are a thin square, typically made of latex, that you put over the genitalia, tush included. (Polyurethane ones are also available if you're allergic to latex.)
In a pinch? You can also DIY a dental dam by cutting the bottom and top off of an external condom and then cutting
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