Rimming How To
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Rimming How To
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Hi, I’m Helena Nista, I’m one of Australia’s leading Sex Experts and Tantra Teachers. I’m a Sex Therapist, Author, Speaker and Lover. I’m a certified sex coach and Tantra practitioner.
I’m passionate about helping my clients become the best lovers they can possibly be, overcome any sexual difficulties and create great sex lives.
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I’ll be honest with you. A big part of why we’re publishing this guide is because a commenter, outraged by an article about pegging , questioned ‘what’s next? A guide to rimming?’
To that commenter we say yeah, actually. That’s quite a solid idea.
Thanks to Broad City, pegging’s getting a whole load of attention in the past year or so. And as a trickle-down effect, other types of anal play are getting hyped up, too.
In the heterosexual, men having sex with women crowd, anyway. Among women having sex with women and men having sex with men, all kinds of anal play has been on the table for quite some time. It’s mostly straight dudes’ concern that anything to do with their butt is ‘gay’ that’s holding them back from all kinds of pleasure , and straight women are being put off by straight dudes having little clue how anal works and shoving their penises in bums with wild abandon (no wonder it bloody hurts if there’s no lube involved).
It’s a shame, really, because fear, stigma, and lack of knowledge is preventing a lot of people who are keen on experimenting anally from trying anal stuff out.
Not everyone has to try anal play, obviously . If it’s not your thing, that’s totally cool.
But if you are curious, it’s worth learning more about anal play so you feel fully prepared and confident before you go sticking any body parts into another person’s anus, or having someone else stick their body parts into your anus.
We’ll start with rimming, because while pegging and a finger up the bum get a lot of mention, the act of rimming still feels a little bit taboo.
Here’s everything you need to know.
Rimming is what the cool kids call using your tongue and mouth to stimulate someone else’s anus. It can be focused primarily on the outer rim (hence ‘rimming’), but can also involve some dipping inside the anus with the tongue.
The general technique is licking. Licking the perineum (that’s the bit between your bum and your genitals). Licking the outer rim. Licking the bits around the anus.
Mouth and tongue on butt. That’s rimming.
As founder of gender neutral sex toy line hicurious , George, explains, you don’t need to faff around with enemas or douches – ‘unless you’ve got a really eager partner it’s unlikely that a tongue will get “in there”.’
Instead just make sure you shower. Really lather up the rim around your bum and make sure it’s as clean and fresh-smelling as possible. This is as much for your own comfort as the other person’s – there’s no way you’re going to enjoy a rim job if you’re worried your partner can taste your faeces.
It’s also worth doing a poo before you shower so you get rid of the very real fear that you might accidentally poo mid-session.
This falls into the cleanliness thing, but it’s worth mentioning.
If you have long hair around your bum, you need to be extra, extra careful when cleaning your bum. If you’re not opposed to hair removal, it may be worth removing the hair around your bumhole pre-rimming session.
Why must we mention this? Because there are too many people out there with little specks of poo in the hair between their cheeks, It is deeply disturbing, and not what someone wants to see when they’re about to go to rim-town.
Rimming is rarely a standalone sexual act – it’s usually incorporated into oral.
‘Just scootch your mouth down a little further next time you’re going down on someone,’ George recommends. ‘Tease them a little with the end of your tongue to get started.
‘Admittedly it’s a little easier if you’re going down on someone with a vagina, but it’s definitely possible with penis-havers too.’
Basically, don’t go full tongue ahead, skip the build up, and lick away. Check that your partner’s up for it beforehand (so that you know they’re into it and they’ve been able to prep), then do your standard oral stuff, work down to start licking the perineum, then slowly tease the rim.
It’s perfectly okay if you just want to hang out in the perineum area for a while. It’s got loads of nerve endings and can be a little less intimidating than going full butt.
Do not stick your tongue out like it’s a pointy little dagger. That is not wise.
‘Flatten your tongue right out, and do long slow licks, starting at the perineum and ending all the way up at the top of the butt,’ George explains.
‘Then stop, check in with your partner, and see how much they’re enjoying themselves, and then start again. Don’t be afraid to improvise – there’s a ton of nerve endings around, and all of them will be very happy with the attention.’
You don’t need to do anything fancy like spelling the alphabet or going at it like a high-speed washing machine. Go gently and slowly and see what works.
While rimming can feel bloody great, it’s pretty tricky to orgasm from a rim job alone. So if you’re the one doing the rimming, be prepared to also use some toy or finger action to stimulate the penis or clitoris.
Or view rimming as a fun part of foreplay. Just don’t feel frustrated if you’re not swelling with a climax after a few butt licks.
A nibble on the bumhole is not enjoyable. It hurts . Steer clear of teeth unless your partner specifically asks for their use.
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Yes, you can catch STIs through rimming, and rimming sans protection is indeed unsafe sex.
Use a dental dam if you and your partner haven’t had recent sexual health checks, or the idea of putting your tongue on a place from which poo comes out makes you feel a tad squeamish.
Don’t move from butt to vagina (that’s an easy way to get an infection), only vagina to butt.
It’s perfectly okay to enjoy anal stimulation. It doesn’t mean anything about your sexual orientation (you can be straight and enjoy having your bum tongued. Shocking, we know), or that you’re weird or dirty.
It’s also perfectly okay to not enjoy it one bit and never do it ever again. That doesn’t make you a vanilla prude.
It’s also okay if you’re keen on receiving but not giving, or vice versa, as long as your partner is okay with that arrangement too.
Sex is all about exploration and experimentation. Try things that interest you, see what feels good, and have fun figuring out what works for you.
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Are you curious about rimming? Rimming is an act of giving oral stimulation to your partner’s anus. And while some people might consider this a shocking or inappropriate idea, when done right, it can be a safe, pleasurable, and even orgasmic experience! Listen to this podcast episode to learn what exactly to do to give an epic rim job to your partner. Here are some of the things you’ll learn about in this episode: - What actually is rimming, - Why is rimming still so taboo and how to overcome that, - Why do people like it, - Who can enjoy being rimmed, - In what situations rimming is a good idea, - How to prepare for your own rimming session, - How to make your own barrier, if you don’t own one, - The best position for rimming, - How to give an epic rim job to your lover, - Optional ideas to play with while rimming your partner, - And more! Resources mentioned in this episode: TANTRA FOR BEGINNERS: https://helenanista.com/tantra-for-beginners-course/ “LEGENDARY LOVER” book: https://helenanista.com/legendary-lover-book/ Helena’s website: https://helenanista.com/ Helena’s online courses: https://helenanista.com/online-courses/ *** 50% OFF WITH DISCOUNT CODE: GSH50 - THIS WEEK ONLY! *** Connect with Helena on social media: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/helenanista/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/helenanista/ YouTube: youtube.com/helenanista
Are you curious about rimming? Rimming is an act of giving oral stimulation to your partner’s anus. And while some people might consider this a shocking or inappropriate idea, when done right, it can be a safe, pleasurable, and even orgasmic experience! Listen to this podcast episode to learn what exactly to do to give an epic rim job to your partner. Here are some of the things you’ll learn about in this episode: - What actually is rimming, - Why is rimming still so taboo and how to overcome that, - Why do people like it, - Who can enjoy being rimmed, - In what situations rimming is a good idea, - How to prepare for your own rimming session, - How to make your own barrier, if you don’t own one, - The best position for rimming, - How to give an epic rim job to your lover, - Optional ideas to play with while rimming your partner, - And more! Resources mentioned in this episode: TANTRA FOR BEGINNERS: https://helenanista.com/tantra-for-beginners-course/ “LEGENDARY LOVER” book: https://helenanista.com/legendary-lover-book/ Helena’s website: https://helenanista.com/ Helena’s online courses: https://helenanista.com/online-courses/ *** 50% OFF WITH DISCOUNT CODE: GSH50 - THIS WEEK ONLY! *** Connect with Helena on social media: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/helenanista/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/helenanista/ YouTube: youtube.com/helenanista
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Anxiety
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Autism
Bipolar Disorder
Chronic Pain
Depression
Eating Disorders
Personality
Passive Aggression
Personality
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There are many temptations to organize our life around the experience of earlier trauma. But that may shortchange the future—which starts by our envisioning something better.
Posted April 27, 2010
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Reviewed by Ekua Hagan
When I launched my website, I expected people to find it by searching "sex after 40," "sex and menopause ," "erectile dysfunction," "penis size," and "desire differences." Indeed, those are my top search terms. But a surprising number have found the site by using two search terms I never expected: "rimming" and "analingus." These both refer to oral-anal contact.
If you're repulsed by this, then by all means, don't play that way. But recent surveys suggest that 15 percent of American adults have experienced some form of anal sex— that's some 20 million people. I've found no statistics on the prevalence of rimming, however. If you know of any, please comment. Still, as web searches show, many lovers are curious about it, and often feel surprised by their interest. Among those who do try it, many enjoy it.
Heterosexuals typically stumble upon analingus during cunnilingus. The man's tongue slips further south than he intended, and both lovers realize they've crossed a line.
Analingus is a minority pleasure, but there's nothing abnormal about it. If you reflexively condemn it, remember that not too long ago, oral sex was considered a perversion and outlawed in many states.
Analingus feels erotic for the same reason that anal play in general might feel that way. The anus and surrounding tissue are richly endowed with nerves that are highly sensitive to erotic touch.
In addition, lovemaking draws much of its emotional power from intimacy , lovers' deep acceptance of each other. Analingus is a way for the rimmer to say: "I love all of you. No part of you turns me off." It's also a way for the rimmee to say: "I'm totally yours. No part of me is off limits to you." Such mutual acceptance can be a powerful turn-on.
Of course, rimming also involves a big fear , which is fecal contact. Not to worry, says sex therapist Jack Morin, Ph.D., author of Anal Pleasure and Health . Soap and water remove any traces of stool, so it's a good idea to shower together before trying analingus. For extra safety, the rimmee might also use an enema or two before washing.
For non-monogamous lovers, rimming carries another risk—infections. The digestive tract terminates at the anus. Digestive bacteria pass through it, notably E. coli , which may remain around the opening. If E. coli come in contact with a woman's genitals, she migh
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