Rimming Guide

Rimming Guide

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Ellen Scott Tuesday 21 Nov 2017 4:07 pm
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I’ll be honest with you. A big part of why we’re publishing this guide is because a commenter, outraged by an article about pegging , questioned ‘what’s next? A guide to rimming?’
To that commenter we say yeah, actually. That’s quite a solid idea.
Thanks to Broad City, pegging’s getting a whole load of attention in the past year or so. And as a trickle-down effect, other types of anal play are getting hyped up, too.
In the heterosexual, men having sex with women crowd, anyway. Among women having sex with women and men having sex with men, all kinds of anal play has been on the table for quite some time. It’s mostly straight dudes’ concern that anything to do with their butt is ‘gay’ that’s holding them back from all kinds of pleasure , and straight women are being put off by straight dudes having little clue how anal works and shoving their penises in bums with wild abandon (no wonder it bloody hurts if there’s no lube involved).
It’s a shame, really, because fear, stigma, and lack of knowledge is preventing a lot of people who are keen on experimenting anally from trying anal stuff out.
Not everyone has to try anal play, obviously . If it’s not your thing, that’s totally cool.
But if you are curious, it’s worth learning more about anal play so you feel fully prepared and confident before you go sticking any body parts into another person’s anus, or having someone else stick their body parts into your anus.
We’ll start with rimming, because while pegging and a finger up the bum get a lot of mention, the act of rimming still feels a little bit taboo.
Here’s everything you need to know.
Rimming is what the cool kids call using your tongue and mouth to stimulate someone else’s anus. It can be focused primarily on the outer rim (hence ‘rimming’), but can also involve some dipping inside the anus with the tongue.
The general technique is licking. Licking the perineum (that’s the bit between your bum and your genitals). Licking the outer rim. Licking the bits around the anus.
Mouth and tongue on butt. That’s rimming.
As founder of gender neutral sex toy line hicurious , George, explains, you don’t need to faff around with enemas or douches – ‘unless you’ve got a really eager partner it’s unlikely that a tongue will get “in there”.’
Instead just make sure you shower. Really lather up the rim around your bum and make sure it’s as clean and fresh-smelling as possible. This is as much for your own comfort as the other person’s – there’s no way you’re going to enjoy a rim job if you’re worried your partner can taste your faeces.
It’s also worth doing a poo before you shower so you get rid of the very real fear that you might accidentally poo mid-session.
This falls into the cleanliness thing, but it’s worth mentioning.
If you have long hair around your bum, you need to be extra, extra careful when cleaning your bum. If you’re not opposed to hair removal, it may be worth removing the hair around your bumhole pre-rimming session.
Why must we mention this? Because there are too many people out there with little specks of poo in the hair between their cheeks, It is deeply disturbing, and not what someone wants to see when they’re about to go to rim-town.
Rimming is rarely a standalone sexual act – it’s usually incorporated into oral.
‘Just scootch your mouth down a little further next time you’re going down on someone,’ George recommends. ‘Tease them a little with the end of your tongue to get started.
‘Admittedly it’s a little easier if you’re going down on someone with a vagina, but it’s definitely possible with penis-havers too.’
Basically, don’t go full tongue ahead, skip the build up, and lick away. Check that your partner’s up for it beforehand (so that you know they’re into it and they’ve been able to prep), then do your standard oral stuff, work down to start licking the perineum, then slowly tease the rim.
It’s perfectly okay if you just want to hang out in the perineum area for a while. It’s got loads of nerve endings and can be a little less intimidating than going full butt.
Do not stick your tongue out like it’s a pointy little dagger. That is not wise.
‘Flatten your tongue right out, and do long slow licks, starting at the perineum and ending all the way up at the top of the butt,’ George explains.
‘Then stop, check in with your partner, and see how much they’re enjoying themselves, and then start again. Don’t be afraid to improvise – there’s a ton of nerve endings around, and all of them will be very happy with the attention.’
You don’t need to do anything fancy like spelling the alphabet or going at it like a high-speed washing machine. Go gently and slowly and see what works.
While rimming can feel bloody great, it’s pretty tricky to orgasm from a rim job alone. So if you’re the one doing the rimming, be prepared to also use some toy or finger action to stimulate the penis or clitoris.
Or view rimming as a fun part of foreplay. Just don’t feel frustrated if you’re not swelling with a climax after a few butt licks.
A nibble on the bumhole is not enjoyable. It hurts . Steer clear of teeth unless your partner specifically asks for their use.
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Yes, you can catch STIs through rimming, and rimming sans protection is indeed unsafe sex.
Use a dental dam if you and your partner haven’t had recent sexual health checks, or the idea of putting your tongue on a place from which poo comes out makes you feel a tad squeamish.
Don’t move from butt to vagina (that’s an easy way to get an infection), only vagina to butt.
It’s perfectly okay to enjoy anal stimulation. It doesn’t mean anything about your sexual orientation (you can be straight and enjoy having your bum tongued. Shocking, we know), or that you’re weird or dirty.
It’s also perfectly okay to not enjoy it one bit and never do it ever again. That doesn’t make you a vanilla prude.
It’s also okay if you’re keen on receiving but not giving, or vice versa, as long as your partner is okay with that arrangement too.
Sex is all about exploration and experimentation. Try things that interest you, see what feels good, and have fun figuring out what works for you.

Medically reviewed by
Dr Juliet McGrattan (MBChB) and words by Abigail Malbon

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Dr Juliet McGrattan spent 16 years working as an NHS GP.

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All your questions about anal foreplay, answered.
You might have heard of rimming, also known as anilingus, but you’d be forgiven for not knowing exactly what it means. The term refers to anal foreplay with the tongue – specifically licking, penetrating, sucking, kissing, or otherwise orally stimulating your partner's anus.
People of all genders and sexual orientations have been engaging in anal play for centuries. We know this thanks to the saucy pictures depicted on Ancient Greek pottery dating back to 500BC. But is rimming safe and does it come with any health risks?
We speak to psychosexual and relationship counsellor Carolyn Cowan and GP trainee Dr Elizabeth Dapre about what a rim job is, safety tips and how to enjoy anal play responsibly:
Rimming, also known as anilingus, is part of anal pleasure. 'It is licking the anus, the anal sphincter and the perineum,' explains Cowan. 'It is often performed alongside genital touch.'
Although it's an enjoyable foreplay experience, those who engage in rimming are unlikely to climax from it alone. 'Most will not orgasm through rimming alone and it is considered as a part of sexual foreplay,' adds Cowan. 'However, it is a great way to discover if you find your, or your partner’s anus, or anal play, arousing as it does not involve penetration and so there is no risk of pain.'
As with any sexual activity, how rimming works depends very much on the couple. Cowan suggests: 'It's best to discuss with your partner if they would like to try to play in this way, first. For some, the anus is no-go area and it is important to respect this.
With a little bit of preparation and some basic hygiene, there's no reason why you can't still enjoy anilingus.
'If playing with this for the first time you could begin with oral sex and genital play and they work your way down. It can be enjoyed across the gender and gender preference spectrum, and is considered a gentle form of anal play.'
While rimming is an enjoyable experience for many, some of you may be concerned about the hygiene risks associated with putting your tongue on your partner's anus.
'In addition to the common sexually transmitted infections, such as herpes and warts, which can be passed on via any type of oral sex, venturing that little bit further to experiment with anilingus does increase your risk of contracting specific infections carried within faecal matter,' says Dr Dapre.
Rimming is one of the riskier choices of sexual play because of the potential for contracting infections.
In short: 'rimming is one of the riskier choices of sexual play because of the potential for contracting infections which can be transmitted via your poo,' explains Dr Dapre. But with a little bit of preparation and some basic hygiene, there's no reason why you can't still enjoy the activity.
As with most sexual activities, there is a risk of catching a sexually transmitted infection (STI) if you engage in anilingus with an infected partner. Dr Dapre outlines the following potential risks that comes with rimming:
Hepatitis A is a common viral infection which can cause inflammation of the liver and can make you feel very unwell.
Salmonella, shigella, E. coli and campylobacter are all bacterial infections which can cause diarrhoea , abdominal pain and fevers, and which are also transmitted via the faeco-oral route.
Parasitic infections such giardiasis are also transmitted in this way, and produce similar symptoms, often requiring treatment with antibiotics.
If you are concerned about contracting or passing on an STI, make an appointment with your local sexual health clinic to get checked out before engaging in sexual activity with a new partner.
Don't let the health risks put you off – if you want to try rimming, there are steps you can take to make the activity as safe as possible and still have a great time, as outlined by Dr Dapre:
The anus is rife with bacteria and so cleanliness and protection is key. Ensure the area is completely cleaned before engaging in sexual activity.
The safest way to engage in oro-anal play is to ensure that you and your partner are up to date with your STI checks .
Using barrier methods, such as dental dams , can significantly reduce the risks of catching or passing anything on. Dental dams, for those who are not familiar, are sheets of latex that can be used on genitals to protect against STIs and infections.
You may also wish to douche the area before rimming in order to ensure cleanliness and help you both relax. If so, ensure you use a douche or enema designed specifically for anal use.
If you intend to continue with foreplay or sex after analingus, it's extremely important to wash your mouth efficiently before putting your tongue anywhere near your partner's mouth, penis or vagina afterwards, to avoid spreading infection.
Aside from our rimming safety tips, anal play can be great fun so use your imagination and enjoy!

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A rim job — also known as rimming or analingus — is the act of using one’s mouth and tongue to pleasure your partner’s anus. Rim jobs can involve licking, sucking and kissing, and any other oral-to-anal contact. Anal rimming can involve inserting the tongue into the anus, circling around it — hence why it’s called “rimming” — or exploring around the rest of the butt area. It can be a pleasurable act on its own or a way to prepare for other types of penetrative anal sex such as fingering , fisting or intercourse.
Although rimming has traditionally been thought of as a taboo sex act, it’s been brought to the mainstream with artists, celebrities and groups on social media being more open about the pleasures of rim jobs. Anal rimming has carried the connotation as an exclusively “gay” activity because involves the anus, but people of all sexual and gender identities can find pleasure in giving or receiving a rim job. This is because there are tons of nerve endings in the anus, not to mention the psychological pleasure that can be experienced with oral-anal play. In turn, many people find rimming a significant source of sexual arousal.
For those looking to add something new to their sex life, rim jobs can be satisfying both physically and mentally. For a unique sexual experience, some may want to combine the act with penetration using toys or some form of BDSM.
As with any other sexual act, rimming is not a one-size-fits-all activity. Some may be able to orgasm from rim jobs, but the way anyone orgasms varies from person to person. Some people can orgasm from anal stimulation alone, while others may need to have other genital pleasure zones to be stimulated to be able to reach climax.
For the most part, rimming is a relatively safe activity; however, no sexual act is 100% cleared from any kind of risk.
You can get bacterial infections like e.coli and salmonella from rimming. Giardia, a microscopic parasite, and other parasites can also be transmitted through feces through rimming. This is preventable by making sure the anus is clean beforehand. It should be noted that you should avoid rim jobs if your partner has been sick or is experiencing symptoms of a stomach bug. When people have viral stomach infections, most experience diarrhea or stomach pain, which can be transmitted to you through rimming.
Practicing safe sex is as important for rimming as in every other sexual act. Although there is usually low risk, some of the following STIs can be transmitted through rim jobs:
There are a couple of things you can do to decrease the likelihood of STI transmission during rimming. First, keep an eye out for cuts on the tongue, lips, gums, or rectum. These cuts can become entry points for infection and transmission, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).
Using dental dams is another option. Dental dams are thin, latex or polyurethane sheets used between the mouth and vagina or anus during oral sex. However, it should be noted that dental dams are not widely used, which is why those engaging in rim jobs should make it a point to have regular, comprehensive testing and treatment (if needed) completed to prevent the risk of spreading STIs.
Comprehensive testing includes swabbing rectally (for rimmee) and orally (for rimmer), as well as stool samples. Because stool sampling is not a routine test, it’s something you should ask your doctor to perform, but be sure to have your doctor test specifically for ova and parasites. Prophylactic regimens with Flagyl are recommended for people who experience repeated infections but love to rim.
In addition, because rimming has the potential to expose you to seeing warts, tags and other issues, it’s important to add into your routine both oral and anal HPV testing — which involves a Pap smear — as well as internal and external visual evaluations. The good news is the HPV vaccine, Gardasil, has now been approved for those up to 45 years of age; however, if you are outside this age range, consult with your doctor about receiving the vaccine, as we believe anyone who engages in anal play can benefit from it.
If you have a known history of cold sores — caused by herpes simplex virus 1 (HSV-1) — you might benefit from a prescription of Valtrex prophylactically. At our practice, we often see HSV-1 down below for those who enjoy rimming/being rimmed.
Because rimming is not for everyone, before performing a rim job or any sexual act, all individuals involved need to be on the same page about what’s about to go down. Consent needs to be given by the person who will receive the rim job. Equally, if you want to receive one, you should be sure your partner is okay with doing it.
Once your partner gives you the green light or you’ve given your partner consent, you can simply incorporate it into your regular sexual repertoire.
Still, don’t be afraid to communicate with your partner(s) if any of the above-mentioned STI issues are present or of concern. In fact, you can simply swap out rimming for finger/toy play if a concern is present.
If you’re going to get a rim job, you can try stimulating your own anus beforehand to get used to the sensation. Plus, it’s important to know what you find pleasurable. You can do
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