Respectful Porn

Respectful Porn
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Gigi Engle
Gigi Engle is a writer, certified sexologist, sex coach, and sex educator.

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Plus, our experts 10 ethical porn sites to check out ASAP.
Not all porn is created equal. Mainstream porn—think, the videos you find on free tube sites, most of which are geared toward cisgender, heterosexual men—often has all kinds of questionable practices going on behind the scenes, not to mention in them. Enter: Ethical porn.
Ethical porn? What the what? There’s an ethical way for me to watch a woman be turned into a human chandelier in a rope harness and be anally penetrated that is considered above board? Yup.
Also known as “feminist porn,” this (somewhat) newly emerging market is stripping away the seediness of pornography while allowing it to retain its sexiness. You might be making smut—and certain segments of society might hate that—but that doesn’t mean you’re not accountable for making films that offer fair wages and safe working conditions to actors, and that display a range of body types and sex acts that center around non-male, non-heteronormative pleasure.
“While mainstream porn typically focuses almost solely on profit, ethical porn is created by prioritizing, respecting and centering the performer’s rights in producing content,” says Elle Chase , ACS, CSE, certified sex educator.
The point of ethical porn is to create art (porn is art, after all) that shows realistic depictions of sex that feel truly relatable to a diverse audience.
“This can give viewers more validation and affirmation around their own sexual expression and experiences, and shows the creative, playful side of sex that is more representative of the kind of sex real people have, not performers,” explains Lorrae Bradbury , a sex coach and founder of the sex-positive site Slutty Girl Problems. “It brings the focus more to the entire journey of pleasure rather than just penetration and orgasm, watching people who actually enjoy what they’re doing and are having their boundaries respected and their pleasure honored.”
Mainstream porn does have some regulations in place. That said, experts say biases and consent violations abound. “Previously, the adult industry would profit immensely from performers’ work, while the performers were the ones putting themselves at risk for shoots that didn’t prioritize their safety," says Tiana GlittersaurusRex , polyamorous educator & activist and co-founder of The Sex Work Survival Guide , a non-profit organization advocating for the rights and safety of sex workers. "BIPOC performers are well known to be compensated less, asked to portray stereotypes, [and] have their content tagged with racist keywords without their consent or knowledge—to just name a few.”
With the rise of ethical porn, smaller indie studios have implemented stricter regulations around standardized, fair pay for actors, STI testing, and collaborations over scripts and scenes that take the actors' boundaries into account. Basically, there's just more human respect all around! Just because you’re having sex on screen doesn’t mean you aren’t deserving of fundamental human rights. Sex on screen is acting, just like drifting a sports car in The Fast and the Furious is acting.
“Responsibly-made porn is when producers and production agencies follow every possible law in regard to adult filming [and] distribution, along with prioritizing transparency to filmmakers and performers, while making sure the scenes are consensual and fairly compensated,” says GlittersaurusRex. “Not all porn is responsibly made, and we use that distinction to signify the extra mile we go to protect our performers and filmmakers.”
Listen, buds, I know you don’t love hearing this, but...PAY FOR YOUR PORN. High-quality stuff is worth the expense. Do you know how long it took to shoot your favorite teacher-spankin'-naughty-student scene? Do you know how many costume changes and lube re-ups were required in order to get the perfect shot that made you, well, shoot (I’m so sorry)?
Luckily, our amazing band of sexperts have graciously offered up some of their favorite ethical porn sites for your viewing pleasure.
From Bradbury: “ Crash Pad Series is a queer, non-binary, and female-focused studio with authentic, playful, genuine connections and sexual expression with a diverse array of body types, presentations, identities, and expressions. They cast real-world couples having the sex they truly enjoy at their comfort level, complete with safer sex, communication, aftercare, and the genuine laughter and silliness that can often be part of sex.”
From Chase: “Ok, this is my site so I’m biased, and because it’s a curated site of clips, gifs and photos (on the NewTumbl platform), Lady Cheeky doesn’t fit the entire definition of 'ethical porn.' However, it does anchor its posts on the non-traditional POV of the ‘female gaze’ as well as focusing on an aesthetic of a true expression of passion and desire, while being inclusive of diverse body types."
From GlittersaurusRex: “I love both consuming and working with Royal Fetish Films because of the priority on safety, inclusivity and consent they put throughout the production process. King and Jet Setting Jasmine are truly setting the industry standard of responsible porn.”
From Courtney Kocak, co-founder & co-host of the podcast Private Parts Unknown : “I have spent so much time jerking off to Bellesa ! I’m a sucker for porn made by women, and everything on their site is so hot. Even their thumbnails get me wet! Plus, it’s free to consume. A couple of my gold standard favorite porn scenes come from Bellesa, and I visit those bookmarks more than almost anywhere on the internet.”
From Bradbury: “ Cheex includes carefully curated erotic films from independent artists and production companies, plus erotic audio stories and educational resources with articles and interviews around sexual wellness and pleasure."
From Bradbury: “ SPIT incorporates photos, audio erotica, and videos from naked story time to partnered play, highlighting diverse sexual expression that takes you on an authentic journey through desire and exploration."
From Chase: “Erika Lust’s popular XConfessions site is made with an artistic heart and a pervert’s soul. Beautifully shot, passionate and lustful (pun intended), it’s super hot and appeals to a diverse audience. Erika makes sure there’s something for everyone and does it in such a classy way, you forget you’re watching porn.”
From GlittersaurusRex: “I like Findrow because you can find such a variety and the company puts control for content and revenue in the hands of the creators while promoting them on the platform."
From Kocak: “I’m going to out myself as a major audio nerd here, but I love me some audio erotica . The imagination factor is huge for me. I like inventing the imagery in my mind. Dipsea is a personal fave because they have so many different scenarios, they’re all really well produced (bad editing would be a boner killer for me lol), and they update their selection constantly.”
Brand new on the scene is Afterglow, the newest star on the ethical porn horizon.
From Glittersaurus Rex: “ Afterglow is a favorite because all of their productions are gorgeous, and push the status quo of what you would expect from porn."

Originally Published: May 18, 2018
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Erotic content you can feel good about getting off to.
All you have to do is watch a few minutes of mainstream porn to realize that plenty of it is demeaning and degrading toward women. And it's not just in front of the camera that these things play out; behind the camera, countless allegations have surfaced about unethical behavior, including claims of sexual assault on porn sets. Because it's a male-dominated field, it can be hard to find pornography that's both ethical and appeals to women's desires. But that's where feminist pornographer Erika Lust comes along.
When Lust launched her crowdsourced project, XConfessions , in 2013, she had the vision to offer an alternative to the porn that was already out there by offering sex-positive erotic films that, unlike so much mainstream porn, actually centered women and the pleasure of people assigned female at birth (AFAB). And, of course, she wanted to do it ethically.
"The concept of ethical as it relates to adult content production is complex," Lust tells Bustle. "It’s important to say there is not yet a consensus about what exactly it is, but in simple terms, ethical porn cares about the performer's welfare. It is adult cinema where consent has been given for every part of the film from all parties involved. This means consent regarding the sexual acts being performed, but also the rate of pay they are receiving. Personal limits and boundaries are respected and the performer can stop shooting at any moment if they feel uncomfortable. Everything is done under a safe sex environment, good working and safety conditions, and labor rights for performers and crew. This environment emphasizes safety and mutual respect."
According to Ayesha Hussain , a sex and porn coach, porn activist, and founder of The Violet , ethical porn can be more enjoyable for women to watch, as they’re less likely to be triggered or upset by something they see or hear. "Ethical porn creates safety and a sense of intimacy that can be felt off-screen," Hussain tells Bustle.
And just because it’s made ethically, this kind of porn isn’t necessarily the slower, softer kind of spoon-sex it’s often associated with.
"People can have healthy, consensual, aggressive sex," says Lola Jean , sex educator, and mental health professional. "It just shouldn't be that we only see abusive porn, women being submissive, or the person with a penis ejaculating — it's the variety. We need more things available."
Since the launch of Lust’s XConfessions in 2013, Hussain says there’s been an online boom of this kind of porn in the last five years. So if you’re looking for a variety of ethical porn sites, here are 12 places to start.
ElseCinema , formerly EroticFilms.com (NSFW), is one of Lust's own sites. “It's a pay-per-view catalog of the best in indie adult cinema from across the globe,” says Lust. “All of the films licensed there are ethically made, produced, and distributed. There is a big arousing catalog including romance, BDSM, massage, LGBT, and group, from a number of international directors. Use this site if you're seeking beauty, realism, and sex-positivity in your porn and want to know that it was made in an ethical way. It's the motto: Life is too short for bad porn.”
Although Erika Lust may be the biggest name in feminist pornography , this site is a perfect way to get acquainted with other feminist and ethical porn directors from all over the world.
“Specializing in highly-stylized short films, this crowdfunded production company, Four Chambers (NSFW), is making films that are part art project, part erotic cinema,” says Lust. “Their beautiful aesthetic subverts the established archetype of what sexuality should be and truly pushes the boundaries of erotic film making.”
“Founded in 2013 by director Shine Louise Houston, PinkLabel.tv (NSFW) is a hub for emerging and independent adult filmmakers,” says Lust. “It hosts some of the sexiest and most inclusive queer and feminist porn and is a helpful resource for emerging and independent filmmakers looking to enter the porn business ethically. Queer, trans, and people of color, as well as older people and people with disabilities, are a large part of its community.”
Like all things in life, porn should be inclusive .
“Describing themselves as 'very British, very naughty,' you will not be let down by JoyBear (NSFW), which has been making sex-positive, erotic films since 2003," says Lust. "They have an amazing attitude towards sex and they take pride in their interesting, strong, and provocative female characters.”
A porn site that has provocative female characters? As in female characters that are multi-dimensional and not some cliche of what a woman should be? Finally! Hollywood, take notes.
“Describing their films as ‘a celebration of sex,’ Bright Desire (NSFW) depicts sex in a smart, positive, and fun way,” says Lust. “There is a big focus on realism and the videos show real connection, intimacy, laughter, and pleasure. A lot of the videos feature real-life couples, the scenes are shot in collaboration with the performers and you can watch interviews and behind-the-scenes footage.”
And sex, in all its realms, definitely cause for a celebration.
“Adult movie writer and director Jacky St. James shows some hot sex!” says Lust. “She wants to change women’s views on sexuality and help them embrace their own desires. She’s best known for her BDSM themes which are explored in her ever-popular ‘The Submission of Emma Marx’ series. And after feeling unhappy with the way BDSM was portrayed in Fifty Shades of Grey, she created the erotic miniseries ‘Submission’ for late-night cable TV which explores a thrilling BDSM love triangle.”
Although Fifty Shades of Grey did a lot of women a favor by opening their eyes to BDSM, many people in the BDSM community were less than thrilled with the depiction of BDSM relationships in the movie . Not only does St. James right those wrongs, but does so in a way that promotes why embracing one's sexuality is so paramount.
“Founder and Director of Lightsouthern Cinema (NSFW), Michelle is amazing!” says Lust. “Her four-part film Momentum is one of my favorites. The cinematography and camera work, nostalgic storyline based on the sexually explorative period of the 70s, the beach landscapes, the diverse body types, the authentic sex... As the company states, Lightsouthern celebrates people celebrating themselves!”
“Of course I couldn't make a list of the top places to watch ethical porn without including my own site," says Lust." XConfessions (NSFW) is the crowdsourced project that I started in 2013 after becoming tired with the same old porn storylines and cliches repeated on a lot of mainstream sites. Users submit their anonymous sexual confessions, fantasies, and desires to the website, and each month I choose two to turn them into an artistic, explicit short film. Everything is made under my ethics for a new adult cinema.”
Launched from an Indiegogo in 2020 , afterglow is a crowd-funded feminist porn and sexual wellness site. Deemed “high quality erotic content curated for sexual wellness, focused on pleasure for everyone” afterglow looks like Glossier for sex and will fill your screen with nice colors and actors with line tattoos. If you like seeing stylish bedrooms and consent on camera, check it out.
Started by advertising mogul Cindy Gallop , Make Love Not Porn is like social media, but for sex. Users can upload their own solo or partnered content, and you have the ability to comment and share on videos within the site. The site promotes “real people having real sex,” meaning you won’t see any oiled-up actors saying cheesy lines. If you’ve always been interested in voyeurism or just want to see people actually in love going at it, this site is for you.
Formerly nofauxxx.com, Indie Porn Revolution is a women-run porn company started by Courtney Trouble , a self-proclaimed “genderqueer fat femme porn star.” Started in California in 2002, Indie Porn Revolution is the longest-running indie queer porn site on the internet. If you’re looking for body-positive porn that casts an array of queer and trans identities and shows lots of consent and aftercare, check it out!
The Crash Pad Series is like the fun lesbian bar of porn. Though it’s centered around queer women, there’s something for everyone. Led by director Shine Louise Houston, Crash Pad is full of strap-on content, kink and BDSM, vaginal orgasms, and aftercare and check-ins. If you’re passionate about seeing different types of queer sex with a focus on BIPOC, Crash Pad may be the one.
If you've found that mainstream porn just doesn't do it for you, then it's time to branch out and try other sites. Although you should know that it won't be free, considering what you're getting , you'll probably be OK with paying for it.
"You're going to need to start paying for your porn," says Lust. "Because if you're not paying for it, who is? How are the performers and the production company and all of the people involved in the process of making money? In the same way that we pay for every other product, paying for porn gives money directly back to the people making the content and supports that person or company to be able to keep making porn."
Ethical porn is sexy and with female pleasure being the center point, it's bound to get you off.
Ayesha Hussain , a sex and porn coach, porn activist, and founder of The Violet
Lola Jean , sex educator, and mental health professional
This article was originally published on May 18, 2018

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