Redhead But She Cant Make Her Cum
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Redhead But She Cant Make Her Cum
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[orgasm trouble] I can't make my girlfriend cum.
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I know there have been a million posts like this, but I could really use some help. Ok, so here's the situation in frustratingly specific detail.
I (20m) feel like I've tried everything to make her (18f) cum. I should say I'm more experienced than her, and usually haven't had trouble with this is in past relationships. I was her first for a lot of things. She masturbates frequently (not sure if death grip could be an issue?) and recently was able to cum from masturbating in front of me.
Oral alone gets her the closest. She says that when I go down on her, I can get her to the point where it feels like she's going to cum, but it just stays there. Eventually, my jaw will get tired and she won't be close anymore.
We've talked about what could send her of the edge, but a guy has never made her orgasm before so she tells me that she doesn't know. Anyone had a similar situation? What can I do to send her over the edge? What worked for you?
She loves when I finger her, but she says it's a different sensation that doesn't get her close to cumming. She says fingering with oral is counterproductive. I've tried rubbing her clit too, but she seems to require so much pressure that I can't quite stay on the right spot with enough force when she starts squirming.
If anyone has ever had a similar situation (girl who has never orgasmed from a guy, or oral that keeps her right at the edge), help me out.
This used to be me, oral would bring me to the edge but I could never go over. This was due to sexual anxiety, essentially I was so worried about whether I was going to orgasm or not that it stopped it from happening. Took a lot of patience and perseverance but we kept trying and it happened. Once I'd done it the first time, it became easier the next.
Thank you for the response. Anything I can do to help ease the anxiety?
I have the same issue with my SO, normally its me who has trouble finishing, but i've managed to get over that with her, but now its alittle depressing that im able to and she's not.
She says it doesnt matter cos it still feels really good, but its just not the same i feel guilty for being able to and her not.
She gets really close, and apprently the closest she's ever gotten with me, but im not sure what i can do different, i've gone as fast as i can where i can keep the pace up for a fair amount of time and its got her close but then she just sits up and tries to pull me in and ride me which then throws me off and stops me maintaining the pace. Its like she doesn't want to or is scared to let herself go, i know she's fairly insecure about her body and dispite me telling her on countless occasions she's nothing to worry about as her body is fantastic she's still insecure.
So i know the feels bro, all i can say is keep at it, if she's telling the truth then im getting her closer over time.. may just be she's scared to finish/the noise she may make etc.
Me and my wife used to have the same problem. In my situation, she felt like her cumming was a chore for me; that I had to go out of my way to do it, and that it was boring for me. And so, she felt pressured to cum when I wanted her to, as if she felt like she was troubling me. And because I wanted to help her to, she felt bad when she couldn't, which just contributed to a vicious cycle. To get there, I put the focus very much on her, I stroked her and showed her I cared, and that the focus is on the journey, not the destination. And she managed to relax enough and with enough loving and communication we got there in the end. Tell her it's all about her one night; treat her.
That description of the cycle sums up the problem perfectly. Any advice on how to make it clear that the focus is on the journey? I agree that's what I need to do, but I feel like she won't buy it if I just tell her that.
When I first started having sex as a teen I was worried that I would make a funny face or that the jerking movements from orgasming would be off putting to the guy. Then I found out guys love looking at a girl flopping around like a fish. So, the trouble now a days is timing. I feel like I need to rush and finish...I havent been able to orgasm PIV, only through fingering or clit stimulation, so Im thinking crap I need to hurry up and cum so he can have his fun. On the occasions where I just relax and let things happen and dont feel rushed I can cum. Do you tell her she's beautiful when having sex? Does she feel rushed at all? Sometimes saying "I want to see you cum...did you cum" can add pressure. She needs to be relaxed.
She definitely knows that I'm attracted to her when it's happening and that I love seeing her get off. I don't think she feels rushed, but she definitely knows I want it to happen which may add to any self-imposed pressure. What should I do? Just pretend like I don't care if she orgasms?
Is she breathing? If she's holding her breath, she's keeping herself from climaxing.
I think so, but I'll tell her to just in case. Thanks!
I know what you mean. It is tougher when there's a big focus on it, but we both really want it to happen so it's hard to pretend like that's not the case.
I've had similar experiences, and if I had to guess I would say it may be nerves. Unlike your girlfriend, I had been able to cum with my very first boyfriend. Then I went several years without anyone else being able to make me cum, but I could always do it when masturbating. I kinda figured it just wasn't in the cards for me, and the earlier experiences had been a fluke. My current boyfriend and I waited nearly a month to have sex (although plenty of oral before then) and I was incredibly comfortable with him. Our first time, no roommates were around, we had no time constraints, didn't have to be up early in the morning, had done lots of foreplay, and were so happy to finally be having sex. Within the first couple minutes, I got closer to cumming than I had in years. Now he can get me to cum more often than not. The times that I don't get near are when there are other things on my mind and general distractions, and if I feel (whether it's accurate or not) like he's getting discouraged that I'm not cumming then I'll lose what I had even if I had been close.
My advice would be to obviously keep listening to her with the things she seems to like, take some cues from how she masturbates, try some new things she may not know could get her there, and make it all the most low pressure, expectation free, distraction free experience you can.
I appreciate the advice. Thank you.
This is me. Never had an orgasm from a boyfriend, not once. I've had ten partners and had sex hundreds of times. My second most recent partner introduced me to using a vibrator during sex and it changed the way I look at sex. Before, I could only get off from clitoral stimulation on my own. Now i'm actually able to orgasm during intercourse and it is awesome. My new partner and I have a lot of fun using it. He get self-conscious because he can't get me off on his own, but i'm just not physically built that way and neither is the majority of girls I know. Get a little bullet vibrator! It'll change your sex life.
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