Reddit Celeb Penis

Reddit Celeb Penis

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Where would the world be without Reddit? People wouldn’t have a platform to speak, websites wouldn’t have content to publish, and countless pictures of baby ducklings riding cats would go unnoticed on the internet. Reddit gives those without a voice a gigantic PA system and — as it happens — a lot of those voices talk about penises. Reddit and penises go together like peas and carrots, making this list of the website’s most insane dick stories further proof that Reddit is, in fact, the greatest place on earth. (Obviously, from here on out everything is pretty NSFW, in case you were wondering.)
Yes, this man has two dicks. Maybe the most famous post in Reddit history, this post started as a photo and snowballed into one of the most fascinating AMAs ever. One redditor summed up the points of his AMA and listed out the best nuggets of information:
“Yes, both his dicks can get hard, the smaller one gets harder but it takes longer. His dominant dick, which pees a bigger stream and shoots a majority of semen when he orgasms is the one that is the biggest and hardest.
-No, he does not have 4 balls. Just 2.
-Size: His dominant dick is roughly 7 inches , give or take how turned on he is. His smaller dick when at full size is about 6 inches.
-Sensitivity: Both dicks are equally sensitive, but he thinks the nerve endings are more receptive in his dominant dick. He can jerk both off and says that he does on occasion. Usually he jerks his right dick and the softer smaller one flops around while he does.
-Best sexual experience: A 3-way with a chick and another dude . From what he tells me, the dude was straight, but when he saw Double D’s dicks he ended up playing with them and sucking them with the girl.
-Holes: He’s had them both in a girl's vagina, and in a girl's ass, he’s had them both in a guys ass. He’s had them both in a girl's ass and vagina at the same time.
-Ejaculation: When he shoots his load, the bulk of it comes out of his right dick, some dribbles out of his left dick and he usually has to milk it out of his left dick afterwards. He also said that once he pinched off his right dick while he came and the semen squirted harder out of his left dick.
-Surgeries: He has no desire to have one of them removed. He did have to have one minor surgery in his teens to help the split in his urethra form more completely. It had been ballooning inside from pressure, where his dicks separate and they put catheters in him and did some minor surgery to make the intersection “Y” heal properly. So again, he can pee out of both dicks.”
In a story about the most embarrassing boner stories , one guy shared a tale that — frankly — every guy has worried about happening since he learned how to hide his dick:
“First date with my current girlfriend, I got a bone and did the good ole tuck technique. She lifted up my shirt randomly to see my abs and came face to face with my dick just poking out of the top of my pants. She must have liked what she saw cus we're going on 5 years now, so that's cool.”
This giant nope revolves around a dude at a pool party who ended up on his friend’s shoulders while he had the misfortune of working around an erection:
“When I was in high school I went to this pool party, and I got a boner from checking out all the girls in bikinis that were there. Now normally, this would not be a problem, except on this particular day a good friend of mine thought it would be a good opportunity for some chicken fights, and takes it upon himself to hoist me on top of his shoulders. So there I am, sitting on top of my friend's shoulders with a mammoth boner resting on the back of his neck. He then realizes what's going on and lets out a loud "What the f*ck?!" Public humiliation and social awkwardness ensue.”
In the very same thread , a Redditor gives a horrific account of what can happen in the rare instance you accidentally get aroused while dealing with a catheter.
“I had a major surgery a few months ago, one that required the docs to outfit me with a catheter. Two days after the surgery, it was time for the catheter to come out ( i never had one in before).
The shift nurse was unf*ckingbelievably hot. She looked like she could be Monica Bellucci's baby sister. She was tasked with de-catheterizing me.
Like I said, I never had one of those things in me before, so I wasn't sure what to expect. When she started prepping to take it out, I started to get a little randy down there. By the time she had to go hands on, I had a full-blown erection . The nurse seemed surprised only a little, as I'm sure this isn't the first woodard she's seen in the course of her work. When she deflated the catheter, I was overwhelmed with the feeling that I had to piss. When she started pulling it out, however, it felt...different.I had no idea that a catheter goes several inches past the base of the penis.
Because of that, I was shocked by the length of it while the nurse was pulling it out. I could feel the tip of it as it left my bladder and was entirely in the shaft. That's when it happened. As she pulled the catheter the whole way out, I had blown my wad. It was extremely painful and felt awesome at the same time.
The nurse was amazingly professional. While I was 'gushing', she just pointed my member away from herself to avoid getting a shame glaze. I was unbelievably embarrassed by this, and was very apologetic. The nurse just said 'no problem' very enthusiastically, then proceeded to clean me up.”
You’d be lying if you said you didn’t think about what would happen if your dick broke . Well, it happens and it’s called Peyronie's Disease, which a Redditor describes “is basically a plaque buildup that causes a bend in the penis.” The AMA in which he talks about his injury is wince-worthy:
“We were doing it doggystyle and she was a being a little overly helpful thrusting back on me. On one of my out-strokes I slipped out and then she pushed back as I was pushing in and then it popped (fractured). Big takeaway is that I now warn all of my male friends to be EXTRA CAREFUL on the in-stroke.”
What is it about broken penis stories that’s so absolutely fascinating? This one explains how a broken penis led to an operation in which a pump was inserted into the OP’s testicles that manually give him an erection.
“What I had installed (lol) was an inflatable penile prosthesis. Once things are starting to look like I may get lucky, I press a button located underneath and to the side of my shaft, that actually allows a big to inflate and make me hard. The erection isn't as powerful as my old natural erections, but it does allow for me to achieve orgasm. Summary (Broke penis on first encounter, now have an inflatable penis, girlfriend loves new robotic penis and calls it the iPenis.)”
This one is honestly hard to read without laughing or groaning. Basically a dude gets a chance to do porn and totally blows it — but not in the way the directors were looking for.
“A friend introduced me to a contact who brought me into a shoot. I spent the better part of the day watching two scenes, and then was called on to shoot two scenes of my own. I could not stay hard. I could get an erection but maintaining it was very difficult, especially after putting on the condom. The first scene was just light play and fake penetration so it was easy to get away with it. The second scene I had to penetrate and what should have taken 1 hour to shoot took over 2 simply because we had to stop and start all over again. I finally did manage to maintain an erection and finish the shoot. The staff were mostly understanding. My contact recommended Viagra for my next shoot. I hope there'll be a next shoot at least. It was interesting.”
No matter what women say about the size of a guy affecting sex, no dude on earth wants to own up to having a micropenis … except this guy . He's learned to accept his penis, work with what he’s got, and how to flaunt it. Solidarity, brother.
“The internet is an amazing thing. As I basically became a hermit after college, staying online when I wasn't at work, I started webcamming on places like Webcamnow. I would just sit there broadcasting my micropenis and some random women would start talking to me. I found out that there was a rather large group of women that like small penises . I had a hell of a lot of really hot cam-on-cam and phone sex over the years. I met my wife online so she actually saw it by camera first and she likes the small size. It fits her mouth perfectly and she had a bad vaginal tear at some point that required surgery so she is extremely tight for a normal penis, but perfect for mine.”
So what have we learned here? The world is huge and full of penises, and a billion different ways for good or bad things to happen to them. So protect your penis, and cherish your penis for what it is, not what you think it should be — after all, it's the only one you've got (probably.)

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