Reddit Ask Trans
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Reddit Ask Trans
Ask Trans Men and FAAB individuals. r/ asktransmen
How can partners help transmen with dysphoria?
Tips for a cis woman who wants to pass as male?
How did your partners react to you discovering yourself more?
Best brand of underwear for 15 year old
fellow short men, where do you buy pants??
This aims to be a subreddit where users can ask questions and have discussions specific to trans men and FAAB persons.
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Hi. Cis guy here, but my boyfriend is trans, and he's been struggling with his dysphoria lately. Does anyone have any suggestions of how I can help?
Hi everyone, I'm a cis woman with severe social anxiety. Part of that anxiety stems from going out in public as a woman. I'm always very afraid that I'll get harassed or even raped. Something that I've discovered helps my anxiety is dressing like a man. I've noticed that the more masculine I look, the more confident and comfortable I feel. I still consider myself a woman, but I'm a lot more comfortable in public when I don't look like one. Do you guys have any tips for passing as a man in public? I'm thinking about getting a binder, but my face in particular is still very feminine.
I'm curious how everyone partners handled the news that the person they thought they were with was going to be phyaically changing.
I'm exploring my own feelings of wanting to make some permanent changes, and I feel like I've seen a lot of stories about trans women, but as many when it comes to trans men.
The good, the bad, the weird... please tell me how your partners reacted to hearing about your plans/desires!
I’m non binary, but I thought this would be the best place to ask about hair. I have long thick wavy hair and I can’t find a picture of a masculine haircut that meets what I want
How did you guys find haircuts you liked?
My 15 year old says that boys and mens underwear have too much extra space. He’s not wearing a packer and refuses to wear masculine looking womens undies.
Is there a brand that would be better for him?
Today was my last day of school and didn’t want to use my binder bc of how hot it gets and chest pain. I ran out of transtape and decided to use kt tape(my mistake). I messed up. I took it off because it was uncomfortable. I used oil and showered but I ended with red bumps on my under arms. It kinda burns so i was wondering if anyone know how to soothe it or make it less worse?
Men's pants don't fit me. They are always too long. And yes, I could get them tailored, but who has the extra time or money to do that. A friend suggested I shop in the boys section but those are too small, or they only have jeans. I even tried to buy shorts the other day and they came past my knees. I'm 5'4, I'm not that short. I don't mind wearing women's pants, I'm used to it, but sometimes I would like to wear men's pants.
Only ask questions related to transgender boys/men
If someone says a question is too personal for them to answer then leave it at that
If a question is too personal for you to answer then you don't have to answer it
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If you’re new to the community, welcome and please introduce yourself!
If you’re new to the community, welcome and please introduce yourself!
If you’re new to the community, welcome and please introduce yourself!
If you’re new to the community, welcome and please introduce yourself!
If you’re new to the community, welcome and please introduce yourself!
If you’re new to the community, welcome and please introduce yourself!
If you’re new to the community, welcome and please introduce yourself!
Transgender questions, transgender answers.
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hey! i am new to all of this, and i wanted to ask advice on my boyfriend. i (19F) am dating a (20) male. (to preface i am a ciswoman). My boyfriend is 20 years old and wants to go farther into crossdressing. he recently has informed me that its more so 70% he thinks he wants to go female and 30% he thinks it’s crossdressing. im not really sure if that is “typical”. he has also told me that there have been a few times that he has thought that life would be better as a female. but not a whole lot. im also not entirely sure how comfortable i am with it. i just dont want to hurt his feelings and offend him and make him feel uncomfortable around me. i am supportive of him and what he wants because ultimately its his body. i just want him to be happy and feel comfortable and safe with me.
talk to him. Don't offer your opinion. If he sounds more and more like this is something he wants/needs, i.e. to transition then:
Evaluate how you feel about it. Do you want to date/marry a woman? If not, end the relationship now and offer support, only if you want to. Tell him you can be friends and even if you want you can help him. Don't make it an option e.g. "if you transition we are over" or anything like that.
By making it an option you set up a situation in which he may avoid transitioning to save the relationship, and/or begin doing things in secret, building among other things resentment.
I have seen too many times where couples just let it sit in the background and simmer making both of them absolutely miserable, resentful and eventually despising each other.
That whole 70% yes, 30% no, where does that come from. Internalized fear?
hes expressed to me about feeling trapped and scared that he’s not allowed to be himself due to how he was raised. i also think its apart of his family and them not being crazy supportive
It's best to try to listen to him and ask him about your concerns, communication is a really important aspect of relationships. If he does end up coming out as trans then I'm sure he'll still like you for the most part
I compiled every single informed consent clinic in the country. No therapist letter needed.
Transgender questions; transgender answers.
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EDIT: Hey everyone, I know that the commenting is off on this now since it's so old. PLEASE send me a PM if you have one to add. I'm always updating this map.
Are you thinking of starting HRT, but are worried about:
Having to do "real life experience"
Spending money and not getting treatment
Well... that is why informed consent exists. With informed consent, you require no letters from therapists. You simply attest your gender identity, say that you understand the risks and benefits of hormone therapy, and they begin prescribing and monitoring your hormone levels.
So... For too long, this information has been scattered around Reddit, Susans place, twitter, various out of date guides from different regional organizations, so...
I laid my eyes on every single clinic website and doctor profile listed in this map. You should be able to call up any of them to confirm, and then start your HRT as soon as possible.
PLEASE let me know if any of these are out of date or if I am missing some.
Aw man, I excitedly clicked this in case you found something I didn't, but alas the only thing you found was our subpar PP. I live in Wilmington, NC, and the Planned Parenthood here only lists "education, resources, and services referral" under LGBTQ services. The closest PP with HRT services is either Fayetteville or Raleigh depending on traffic.
EDIT: Also I "visited" Atlanta recently (we were escaping Dorian's path lol) and I checked ahead of time to see if I could get HRT there - I think only one of the PPs offered it.
I travel from SC to go to the Planned Parenthood in Asheville for HRT. They do informed consent as well
I just moved to Wilmington from Raleigh, and I learned about that a few days ago and it made me mad. Not that it really matters, since my insurance wouldn't cover it :(
EDIT: I FOUND OUT LINCOLN COMM IS IN MY NETWORK
I couldn’t find help in Wilmington either. Lucky for me though I did find Dr Metz at Mosaic Clinic in Chapel Hill. Their office is a 2.5 hour drive, just off of I-40 and WELL worth the trip. Give them a try!
Look up QueerMed. They're a small office in Atlanta that does telemedicine HRT for patients all over the southeast. I just switched to them from my old place and it seems like they're really really good
I started my hrt at the PP in chapel Hill last year and it was very easy. Sorry it's so far from you though
As far as I know in Florida, Orlando and Kissimmee are go-to places. I believe Gainsville and Tallahassee do not. Correct if wrong. ^_^
I just want to chime in and say that I wouldn't recommend the Emma Goldman clinic in Iowa City, Iowa to anyone looking to transition. The nurse practitioner there that actually has to prescribe hormones is a terf. I've had several good friends go there and none of them have had a good time. some of the things they have experienced are dead naming, late prescriptions, out of date information regarding hrt and care for trans women, and just in general a very hostile environment. planned Parenthood should be a better option, but I have no personal experience with them.
Have you tried the LGBTQ clinic at the UI hospital at IRL? I've only just started transitioning, but I've had nothing but positive experiences so far. They do informed consent (although they do prefer therapy evaluation), had no issue with my request to use Bica, and have listened to me every step of the way.
EDIT: So it seems they don't do informed consent anymore. That said, they offer free evaluations through an attached mental health clinic, which was super un-gatekeeper-y in my experience.
Huh? That's absolutely not been my experience with Emma Goldman. I've never been deadnamed by the NP there, and basically every trans person at my uni who's on HRT has gone through Emma Goldman and have all had good experiences. I certainly haven't seen or heard any indication that the NP is a terf.
I started HRT while I was living in Iowa, and the Planned Parenthood in Cedar Rapids treated me well. They weren't simple informed consent at the time, but all they required was a therapist letter. I had a really good experience, and they prescribed my hormones on the first visit.
The other caveat, they weren't prescribing injections at a time. Once I moved back to North Carolina, I started seeing Destry Taylor at Lincoln Community Health in Durham, and they have me on injections.
Granted, it's been about six years since I got on hormones, but my experience there was as painless as possible.
I walked in, told them I was trans, signed some medical forms, discussed with the doctor the expected outcomes and potential risks, and that was it. They sent me to get bloodwork and, once it was faxed it over, they called in a script.
Reading this thread, it feels incredible how we, as a population, are so at the mercy of physicians and legislators to access the medication we need.
I don't know of any other condition where it is considered normal that there are many countries where you must just thru hoops for *years* to access needed medication not because there is any shortage, but simply because the powers that be want it to be difficult to access. It's messed up!
That's why I'm compiling this. When we have options, we gain power.
I'm cis so I'm definitely not an expert but I do need to share as a chronic pain patient, a mental health practitioner and patient and a disabled person. . . I have some bad news.
The unethical and unprofessional behavior, downright discrimination and even violence/abuse(medical neglect is abuse!) That transgender people experience in healthcare and government every day is far more common then we realize. Everyone who is vulnerable in our society, stigmatized or disempowered is being treated like this. That's the big secret, that's why hatred towards transgender people is so virulent. Because if women stand up, if people of color stand up, if lgbt+ people stand up, if transgender people stand up, if disabled people stand up, if poor people stand up if all the marginalized people in the world stand up and stand individually and together. They won't stand a chance.
Of course that's just my opinion, please do your own research. Dont just read things written about other people. Don't read what politicians say about disabled people, read what disabled people have to say. Dont read some terf's thoughts on transgender people, read what transgender people have to say.
Need somewhere to start? Did you know the "average" amount of time it takes to be approved for US federal disability is THREE to FOUR years. (And if you try to get a job that can ruin your case) Did you know chronic pain patients are being denied their prescribed medications too? Some are fined and even imprisoned because their medicine is illegal! The current healthcare system (not to mention the government) is so broken it allows and sometimes encourages discrimination and medical neglect to all vulnerable populations. We must resist as one. Women, poc, lgbt+, people with disabilities, people in poverty, veterans, the elderly. Everyone. We must stand and support one another.
Sorry for the ramble! Tl;dr - many MANY people are experiencing the horrible treatment and bigotry transgender people experience. This is a huge systemic problem but if we all stand as one (while maintaining our separate and equally valid identities and experiences) we can rise up and demand the humane treatment and the "unalienable rights" of all. This is what America stands for and this is what democracy was created for. Stand together!
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