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10 Things You See in Porn that Don’t Happen in Real Life
We all know that the classic pizza delivery guy porn scenario is unrealistic. And that one very bad pickup line doesn't ever immediately lead to hours of hot sex. Still, porn is a contributor to sexual education and there are parts of it that are too often mistakes for reality. The problem with that is obvious: "Anybody who would get their sexual information from pornography alone would be highly misled," says Neil Malamuth, professor of communication and psychology at UCLA. To avoid being counted among the "porn educated," here is some clarity about its most common deceptions and exaggerations.
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In theory, the desire to orgasm at the same time as your partner has a certain sweetness to it. The first problem is this coordination is much more complex than it appears in porn. There are some sex toys and methods that you can use to attempt this feat, but that brings us to the second problem: If you are spending all your time and energy trying to climax together, you probably aren’t enjoying yourselves and each other as much as you should be.
Squirting and gushing are popular tricks of women in pornography and are often portrayed as female ejaculation. Tests of the fluid produced have shown these are not the same thing. Female ejaculate is chemically similar to semen. The fluid produced by squirting, on the other hand, is likely watered-down urine. While women can learn to squirt, sex researcher Beverly Whipple doubts women can train themselves to ejaculate.
Malamuth has studied porn consumption, often outside of the United States, and he’s found that people do draw inspiration from what they watch. “It certainly has made them want to try to copy certain acts to try that thing they haven’t done before,” he says. Using porn to expand your sexual horizons is reasonable, and possibly healthy, but remember that the vast majority of these films feature actors who are paid to play up the enjoyment of every moment. Remember this and don’t set yourself up for disappointment when sex in the shower doesn’t do it for you, or expect your partner to be as enthusiastic about this experimentation as the actors were.
Pornography is generally produced for a male audience and tends to depict women in a submissive, or at least very sexually permissive, way. This is not the reality of most sexual partnerships. This disparity has made people worry that the way men dominate over women in porn encourages men who watch it to commit violent sexual acts. Malamuth has studied this in his own work. “For the majority of men, it does not have that impact,” he says, “but for those men who already have other risk factors, heavy consumption of pornography — particularly the more extreme or the more violent — can add fuel to the fire.”
You already know that men’s penises and women’s breasts tend to be bigger in porn. For women, these large, perky breasts accompany thin bodies, which is a relatively uncommon combo in the general populous. Vaginas shown in porn are also of a very restricted aesthetic. For men, the disparity between porn penis size and average can be outrageous. The average man’s penis is 3.6 inches when it’s flaccid and 5.16 inches when it’s erect. If you’re overweight or un-manscaped, it can look even smaller — notice the male actors are rarely either of those.
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