Real Mom Sucks Sons Dick
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Real Mom Sucks Sons Dick
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sex and relationships
tattoos
2/4/22
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This British woman believes size matters — and she’s got a new tattoo to prove it.
Tracy Kiss, 34, stunned family and friends after having a ruler tattoo inked down her forearm so she could accurately measure the length of her prospective partners’ penises.
The sex-minded mom — who has a 14-year-old daughter — told Jam Press that she’s looking for a well-endowed boyfriend, and her new body art is “a practical design and tool to enhance my life.”
The tattoo does not include any numbers, instead featuring “pretty dots” that are spaced an inch apart up Kiss’ arm.
“As it doesn’t have numbers, it’s actually rather discreet and allows me to innocently reach up to stroke a man’s stomach whilst taking a glance at my arm alongside it to count the inches,” the creative blonde exclaimed.
“It’s something people may not think about when shaking my hand and won’t look out of place in a nursing home when I’m 90 but will always put a smile on my face and twinkle in my eye,” she further enthused.
Kiss — who said she has a high libido and once had sex 11 times in a day — said knowing a partner’s size is important to her.
“I’m a woman who enjoys pleasure, body confidence and intimacy and feel that women have just as much right as men to speak honestly about sexual encounters,” she declared.
“It’s not all about size, it’s what you do with it and how your partner makes you feel when building an intimate connection, but for those who enjoy finer details, it really is the cherry on the cake for me!”
Kiss’ teenage daughter initially believed the tattoo was designed to measure bananas and cucumbers before she finally clocked what the erotic inking was actually for.
“My daughter is at an age now where she realizes my cheeky sense of humor and picks up on adult jokes which she’d missed before,” Kiss stated.
And while her child may not mind the raunchy inking, Kiss’ friends are less enamored.
“My friends think my new tattoo is a little outrageous … I doubt they’ll be lining up to get their own rulers inked anytime soon, but each to their own, whatever floats your boat!”
Kiss says the tattoo has other practical uses and recently came in handy while helping her mom pick out a new garden pot.
“My mom remarked at how handy it was to have a tattoo that could be used as a ruler. I smiled at her and said, ‘What a coincidence!’ Her new pots look lovely,” she chuckled.
Kiss has more than 70 other tattoos, and may soon add an extra inking so that she can measure a man’s girth.
“I am rather tempted to add some dots from my thumb to my index finger to measure girth at the same time but I’m not sure if it would be too obvious what I’m doing,” she stated. “I guess it all depends on where somebody is looking when I whip it out to count!”
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One of the things that I never stopped to consider about women who have sons is that they have a new level of peener to contend with: baby peen . When you’re a woman and you have a daughter you can recognize pretty much immediately what is normal down there and whether something is amiss , because you match, for the most part. Baby penis is something that you may or may not have a barometer for, depending on how many baby peens total you’ve dealt with in your lifetime.
Even so, when I started watching little boys, the baby penis thing didn’t faze me; I just adjusted and moved on. And yet, on more than one occasion a mom or dad might pull me aside and ask if their son appeared to be “on par down there” to which I could only shrug because I have no idea what average baby penis size is, unlike, say, a pediatrician would.
It turns out that the concern about baby twigs and bitty berries being too small is a real thing, and I don’t want to poke fun too much because I understand what it’s like to be concerned about every little thing.
But at the same time, I think it’s a foregone conclusion that baby penises are small. There are cases where there’s a real medical concern, but that is very rare indeed. When a doctor – a real one, not someone on the internet who totally majored in baby penis for a semester in college – tells you to worry, then you start to worry. Until then, it’s no big penis deal.
Hidden penis is a real thing, you guys, but try not to freak out, because it’s very common. According to medilexicon, it’s a “normal penis obscured by suprapubic fat.” So once the baby fat starts to disappear, everything will start to look normal.
I’d venture to say that the worst thing for a male isn’t to have a small penis. And boys can sit on toilet seats to pee until they have a little something more to grip.
Eight months is too early to start worrying overmuch about future penis size. According to WebMD (I know, I know), the magic doesn’t really start to happen until puberty. Extreme nausea is no joke so don’t play the game of “should I have just stuck it out?” You won’t win that game.
“I have a child here for the day. He’s seven months old.
His penis is very, very small, and it points in, not out. It’s just like an innie belly button. It’s buried inside his testicles.
I’m not going to ask his parents, because it’s clearly something they would have already asked a doctor about.
I’m just wondering if this is an actual medical condition, or if it’s something a child will outgrow? What causes this? Have you ever heard of something like this?”
Oh, my sweet chinchilla of a first time mom. Everything is fine. Two days is old is too young for a penis complex.
Injecting your child with hormones against your doctor’s advice is flirting with danger. Size doesn’t matter that much. Again, why not wait until puberty and see what happens down there? Until then, it’s as big of a deal as you make it.
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TAKING THE PLUNGE I'm midsize - I ordered a SKIMS swim haul in size XL & this is the result
KENDALL ABS I did Kendall Jenner’s 11-minute ab workout every day for 2 weeks
ROYAL FEUD Meghan's bombshell podcast marks start of '12-week war against the Firm'
GREAT IKEA I'm an interior whizz & there's seven must-have items from Ikea
A MUM and daughter have revealed that they both sleep with the same man - and they don’t see anything wrong with it.
Madi Brooks lives with her husband in the US, but as she explains in her TikTok videos, if she’s not in the mood, she’s quite happy for her mum to sleep with him.
This is because both Madi, her mum and her husband are swingers, meaning they are in open relationships, swapping sexual partners at swinging parties and events.
Speaking in a video, she says: “Me and my mom are both swingers and it’s great, you know why? Because when I’m not in the mood I can just let my husband have her.
“I let my husband have her a couple of times a week.”
But it isn’t just her mum that Madi shares her husband with, admitting that her sister sometimes ‘plays’ with her husband.
She says: “You wanna know how I keep my man happy? I let him play with my little sister.”
Her videos have since gone viral receiving up to seven million views each, with many left baffled by the family’s unusual dynamic.
Commenting, one said: “That’s enough TikTok for one year, I’m out!”
“How did that conversation ever initiate?” asked another, while a third wrote, “I don’t know how anybody could share but it’s your life.”
In other relationship news, we told you how millions of Brits are racking up huge debts to pay for their weddings.
And women are posing for kinky festive £300 photoshoots to make their other halves blush this Christmas.
We also revealed how a Tory MP, 26, starred in a TV show with lover who is 35 years her senior.
I'm midsize - I ordered a SKIMS swim haul in size XL & this is the result
I did Kendall Jenner’s 11-minute ab workout every day for 2 weeks
Meghan's bombshell podcast marks start of '12-week war against the Firm'
I'm an interior whizz & there's seven must-have items from Ikea
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