Real Hymen Breaking
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Real Hymen Breaking
7 Things You Probably NEVER Knew About Your Hymen
By Rebecca Jane Stokes — Written on Jan 03, 2017
The hymen is a membrane just inside the opening of your vagina.
Traditionally (and unfortunately), for years, the breaking of the hymen has been what makes a woman no longer considered a virgin.
The problem there? Your hymen is just a piece of fragile tissue.
The condition of your hymen has little to do with your sexual experience.
(And, to be clear, your level of sexual experience has little to do with your value as a person!)
And fundamentally, I think that's the most important fact you need to know about breaking the hymen.
On top of that one BIG falsehood, here are 7 more things you might not know about your hymen.
1. You don't need to have sex to have a broken hymen.
Because of its location (just 1 centimete r inside the vagina ) the hymen is easy to damage or tear.
Women can break their hymens horseback riding, riding a bicycle, or doing other activities that have nothing to do with sex.
2. The hymen doesn't always break during sex.
The hymen doesn't have to break during sex.
While tearing is reported by 43% of women, each hymen is different.
So while some women might have thin hymens that are easily ruptured, other women with thicker hymens may experience no tearing at all during intercourse.
3. Your hymen has nothing to do with your virginity.
Your hymen has nothing to do with your virginity.
This is a myth that was created by men when women were still considered property.
A woman with a hymen can be sexually active and even pregnant, just like a woman without a hymen might NOT be sexually active.
It thickens, thins, ripples and swells during different stages of your life, like during pregnancy and menopause.
5. Nobody knows what your hymen does.
The best guess, according to researchers, is that the hymen is leftover tissue from fetal development.
Thanks for nothing, fetal development.
Because of the terrible idea that a woman is only valuable if she is pure, many women are forced to BUY fake hymens.
During their fake first sexual encounter, they rupture and bleed so that there is "proof" she is a virgin.
This is happening today, in way too many cultures.
We have robots living in our homes that can tell us what the weather is like, and women still have to buy fake hymens.
7. Some women need to have their hymens removed.
1 in 200 women are born with hymens that make it impossible for them to even insert a tampon.
These women require surgery in order to lead healthy happy lives.
But after that, they should be good to go (for sex, tampons, or just life in general).
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Hymen is a thin membrane that covers the vaginal opening from inside. It may vary in shapes, with most common being a half-moon shape that allows menstrual blood to flow out through vagina. The hymen has a small opening about the size of your finger. It is usually large enough for you to pass a tampon. You may experience discomfort while using a tampon, but being able to pass it does not mean you have broken your hymen.
In many cultures, hymen is associated with purity of a young woman. That is why many young girls are often concerned about the state of their hymen. Using a flashlight in front of a mirror may help you see inside your vaginal canal. Just lie on your back and place a mirror right between your legs. Spread the inner and outer vaginal lips to see inside your vagina. Using a flashlight will make it easier to see deep inside your vaginal canal. Do you see a thin layer of skin with a small hole in it? Your hymen is most likely in place.
In case you see small traces of broken skin around your vaginal opening without any membrane, this usually means you have already broken your hymen. It may break for many different reasons, so it should not be used as an indicator of virginity. Similarly, if someone has her hymen, it does not mean she is virgin. Hymen may only stretch and not break during an intercourse. HERE are some comparison pictures to help.
Now, you know if your hymen is broken, but you may want to read about different situations besides sex that may result in broken hymen. For instance:
When you learn how to know if your hymen is broken and find your hymen is not intact, do not panic. If you break it during an activity and experience bleeding, apply some ice on the vaginal area. You should avoid using tampons for a while and stay away from engaging in sexual activity for some time. You may want to consult a surgeon who can repair and reconstruct your hymen. It may be expensive and you may again end up breaking it through normal day-to-day activities.
You usually do not experience heavy bleeding when your hymen breaks. You should contact your doctor if you experience heavy bleeding that persists. This may indicate cervical cancer or a vaginal tear. Keep in mind that bleed during an intercourse may be because you break your hymen, but it may also happen due to conditions like cervical polyps, gonorrhea, dysplasia, uterine polyps, vaginal yeast infection, and fibroid tumors. Consult your doctor if you experience serious bleeding during or after an intercourse.
You already read about how to know if your hymen is broken, but you may not know that hymens can be off different types.
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Last Updated 19 July, 2022.
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2. On the flip side, it's possible to engage in sexual activity and not break the hymen.
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3. Once a hymen has been broken, it does not grow back.
4. Does it hurt when your hymen breaks? Not necessarily.
5. Virginity is a social construct rather than a medical condition.
6. "Losing your virginity" does not necessarily mean penis-in-vagina sex.
7. You don't have to prove your sexual history to anyone.
8. You are in control of your sexual activity.
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The concept of " virginity " for people with vaginas has a complicated history, and has often been (incorrectly) linked to the hymen breaking. Bleeding after sexual intercourse was (also incorrectly) thought to be proof of an unbroken hymen, and thus, proof that a person had not had sex before.
This is, of course, a deeply heteronormative way of thinking about sex, and the reality is that the state of your hymen may have nothing to do with sexual activity. Unfortunately, sex education in the U.S. leaves a lot of people with vaginas unsure of their own anatomy. It’s not at all uncommon — years into being sexually active, even — for people to wonder: “What is a hymen, really?”
With the help of Jessica Shepherd , MD, MBA, FACOG, a board-certified OB-GYN and Chief Medical Officer at Verywell Health, and Mackenzie Piper , MPH, CHES, a health and sex educator with Healthy Teen Network, we're going to separate hymen fact from fiction. We’ll answer some common questions about the hymen, like “what is a hymen” and “how does it break”? And we’ll also unpack its complicated relationship with the historical concept of virginity. So, read on for nine facts you need to know about this tiny tissue.
In this article, you’ll find answers to:
In the simplest terms, the hymen is “a thin membrane that surrounds the opening to the vagina ," explains Dr. Shepherd. It’s just fine, stretchy tissue left over from the way vaginas form in the womb, and it doesn’t really serve a purpose. The hymen has no known biological function and it does not, in any way, indicate whether or someone has engaged in sexual activity.
Despite the outsized role that “cherry popping” plays in the way we talk about virginity, it should be noted, too, that some people with vaginas are born without a hymen in the first place. For others, their hymen may be so small that, as Dr. Shepherd put it, it’s “not really impacted the first time they have penetrative sex.” Hymens come in different shapes and sizes (more on that below), and penetrating the vagina with something like a penis, fingers, or tampons can — but won’t necessarily — break it. That’s because the hymen is super elastic — some people like to compare it to a hair scrunchie!
The hymen surrounds or partially covers the opening to the vagina. (For a small number of people with something called an imperforate hymen, it will cover the entire vaginal opening, but this occurs in only about 0.05 to 0.1% of people with vaginas. )
Although they vary in shape and size, hymen location is pretty consistent — you’ll find it “just inward of the vagina,” Dr. Shepherd said, or about one to two centimeters inside your vaginal opening. And if you’re wondering “how deep is the hymen?” — it isn’t. Though this thin piece of tissue may mark the start of the vaginal canal, it doesn’t extend inside of it.
Hymens, just like vulvas , are not one-size-fits-all! “No two hymens are alike,” Piper said. “Some may have a half-moon shape, some may have a ring shape. Some are thicker, some are thinner… just like other body parts, hymens are different for everyone.” For the vast majority of people, hymens are not “seals” that cover the entire vaginal opening; they’ll have one or multiple holes that allow for period blood — and for things like tampons, fingers, a penis or a sex toy — to pass through, often without disrupting the hymen.
For a small number of people, the size and shape of their hymen may be considered an abnormal hymen, although Dr. Shepherd said it’s “not very common.” The different categories of hymen abnormalities are:
Although Piper noted that “pain or difficulties from these conditions are rare,” hymen abnormalities can interfere with menstrual flow and tampon use. In these cases, you can have a minor surgery (called a hymenectomy) to remove the extra tissue and open up the hymen so period blood can flow through. This is performed by a gynecologist.
Considering pulling out a mirror and checking for hymen breakage signs? It never hurts to get a closer look at your own anatomy, but in the case of the hymen, it’s possible you won’t see a whole lot. “Since the hymen is a flexible piece of tissue that may be thick, thin or even absent in some people, the visibility of a person’s hymen totally depends,” Piper said. “The size and shape of a hymen can change with age or a big shift in hormones, so that can impact visibility, too.”
But even if it’s not “necessarily easy to find,” Dr. Shepherd added, if you were born with a hymen, chances are you probably do still, in some capacity, have it. That’s because, contrary to the image conjured up by a “popped” cherry, the hymen doesn’t simply vanish post-penetration. “It’s a tissue formation that’s part of the vagina anyway… it’s not ‘broken.’ It’s still there because it’s still tissue that’s part of the vagina,” she said. “So there’s still tissue there, it’s just that it’s stretched maybe.”
A question we hear semi-often is: Can fingering break hymens? The hymen can be broken in any number of ways. Sexual activity (including fingering, oral sex, penetration and masturbation ) can break the hymen, yes, but so can the insertion of a tampon or even exercising. It’s not uncommon for hymens to tear doing totally normal, day-to-day activities, and you can break your hymen without even knowing it. Dr. Shepherd explains that it's entirely possible to disrupt the hymen during a weight-bearing exercise and not feel a thing. That could be especially true if your hymen had already thinned — with age, for instance — by the time it tore, or if you didn’t have much tissue there to begin with. Alternatively, it’s also possible to notice a bit of bleeding and tenderness when your hymen tears. It's different for everyone.
Engaging in sexual activity doesn’t automatically mean your hymen will break.. It's very possible for the hymen to remain unbroken from fingering or oral sex, explains Dr. Shepherd. It's even possible (though uncommon) to have intercourse without breaking the hymen.
It bears repeating: the presence or absence of a hymen does not prove or disprove whether someone has engaged in sexual activity.
Some people may wonder whether their hymen could grow back to its original state if enough time has passed since it was “broken” or stretched. But this isn’t possible. Once a hymen is broken, either naturally or through a hymenectomy, it will not grow back. And that’s totally okay! As mentioned before, it’s not something we need.
Though some of us may have been told to absolutely expect pain from our hymens breaking, everyone’s experience is different, according to Piper. “Having a hymen stretch or break may hurt, it may feel good, it may be both, or it may be something you don’t notice at all,” she said. “The most important thing you can do is keep living your life and making decisions that feel good to you.”
According to Piper, virginity is a social construct, rather than a medically significant term. “Many people define virginity as not having had sex yet, but what is considered sex varies from person to person,” she said. “Someone’s understanding of ‘virginity’ can be shaped by what they’ve learned from their peers, parents, family, or religion. However, there is absolutely no scientific basis for the idea of virginity.”
So you likely have a definition about what virginity entails based on your friends, what your parents have taught you, and whether or not you have specific religious beliefs. It should also be said that having sex doesn't change anything about you; it doesn't add or take away value, just as not having sex doesn't.
The concept of virginity has long been tied up with the heteronormative idea that when a penis enters your vagina, you’re no longer a virgin. But there are some obvious problems with this definition of virginity. When you define the moment that determines change in virginity status as specific to P-in-V, that leaves out people for whom sex will never mean P-in-V activity. “We all know this isn’t the only kind of sex people are having,” Piper said. “So, by reinforcing this concept, we are inherently excluding many genders, sexualities, and activities.”
You should never feel you have to prove your status, and furthermore, it's not even possible to do so. We would argue that the best way to find out if someone has not yet had sex (if the other party really cares to know) is simply to ask — and it's entirely up to you whether or not you want to discuss it at all!
There are some major problems with the concept of " losing your virginity ." The term implies that it isn’t in your control . If you lose your phone, is that a conscious decision? No! We need to change how we talk about the first time a person has sex. It shouldn’t be something that someone takes from you.
“‘Loss of virginity’ implies a person is a passive receiver of sex and that they are not in control of their body and their choices,” Piper said. “It’s time that we put these harmful concepts to rest and start to reframe our understanding of sex and sexuality… When we respect the right of people to make their own decisions about if and when to engage in sexual activities, when we stop shaming people for having sex, and when we talk about pleasure, then we can start moving away from this damaging idea of virginity and ‘loss.’”
As often as we’re (incorrectly) told our first time having vaginally penetrative sex is guaranteed to be painful, we’re also told this pain is unavoidable. But that isn’t necessarily true, Dr. Shepherd said.
“It’s not really the hymen that creates the discomfort — it’s the entire experience of the entire vaginal canal being stretched or changed in size,” she said. “To me, the reason why there is anxiety is because when it’s new, you anticipate that it’s going to hurt…The brain is our largest sex organ, so if we have been, in our brain, really anticipating something to be possibly painful or discomforting, I think that then leads to now your pelvic muscles responding to your brain thinking that.”
To avoid the psychological fear of pain causing actual pain, Dr. Shepherd recommended getting familiar with masturbation for starters. It’ll help you learn what your body finds pleasurable — and that, eventually, can also help you to have better foreplay with a partner, priming your body for more relaxed, and more lubricated, penetration when you’re ready for it.
This story was first published in 2015. It has been updated to include the most accurate information.
WATCH: 8 Fascinating Facts About the Vagina That Will Change Your Life
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