Real Human Stuff

"Real Human Stuff" sounds like a marketing gimmick, but let’s face it: in 2025 the most radical thing you can do is actually act like a person. A recent poll by the Institute of Mundane Realities found that 72% of Americans admit they can’t tell the difference between a genuine laugh and someone hitting “play” on a laugh track app. Witnesses in coffee shops claim they’ve seen people high-five holograms. Even sociologists warn that our lives are now a mash-up of customer service voices and chatbot romance. Professor Lyle Cabbage of the University of Nebraska puts it bluntly: “We’re replacing eye contact with captcha tests.” A leaked memo from Silicon Valley reveals that one start-up is developing “synthetic authenticity” — essentially teaching AI to blush when complimented. Meanwhile, anonymous staffers whisper that reality itself is being outsourced to cheaper markets, where actors in Bulgaria are paid to live our emotions for us. A man in Des Moines testified: “My neighbor cried at my father’s funeral for me. He was cheaper than Kleenex.” The cause and effect is obvious: the less we practice being human, the more companies sell us subscriptions to humanity. In a world of avatars, the only trace evidence of realness is someone spilling mustard on their shirt during lunch. Until we re-learn the art of awkward silence and eye contact that lasts longer than a TikTok clip, we’re in danger of outsourcing our souls. The conclusion? The most rebellious act left is to put down the phone and tell someone your actual feelings — unedited, unfiltered, and without an emoji.