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By
Lorenzo Jensen III ,
June 30th 2017



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“Was 20 and matched with a girl/’girl’ on Tinder by the name of Glory. Her/’her’ picture was of a white door with three holes in it. One for your dick and two up top to put your hands in to brace yourself I guess. I can find the pics if I search through my phone hard enough.
I chit chatted with Ol’ Glory and it said that it was a 37-year-old Latina woman who discovered from an ex that she LOVED sucking cock of other men while he watched, even after their breakup she just loved to do the pseudo-anonymous cock gobble. Having people over she got to fantasize that it was anyone’s cock.
Whatever, I was 20 years old and went over there with a couple buddies, and I had my best mate walk up in to the house with me because I was scared they’d chop my dick off. My heart was pounding when I opened the door to a pitch-black house. I walked up the staircase, per instructions, to the white door with three holes. The second floor was lit with nothing but candles and the dick hole of the door had her super manicured hand waving for me to come here. So I nervously pulled out my half-chub and put it through the door and waited till I felt pleasure to tell me homie to go away. Felt pleasure, homie left.
What a great blowjob. There was a mirror next to the door pointed at some porn playing on a TV behind me. What a great fucking blowjob. I finished and left, she messaged me that my friend could come up there if he wanted some too. Tennessee 2016!”
“The college year was over and I was driving home for the summer. It was about an 8-hour drive through a very rural part of the country which made for a boring drive. Through a certain part of the drive there are signs for massage parlors, a strip club where truckers are welcome, a giant XXX store, etc. Anyhow I was thinking about the long, boring summer where I’d have a retail job, a curfew and have to get up early on the weekends. (I can still hear ‘If you’re living under our roof then you’ll have to listen to our rules, young lady.’) So right past all of those was this little store. It was so close to the highway it was almost on it. It was a XXX store.
I found myself merging over. I needed a break and I figured I’d grab a drink and stretch my legs. But deep down I kind of wanted to drive by the store to scope it out. I drove by and it didn’t look too dangerous. I drove down the road for about two miles and still didn’t see a gas station so I turned around. I came back by the store and decided to scope it out again. This time I did a loop around the parking lot before I found myself parking. I sat in my car for a few minutes before someone came out and asked if I needed help. I felt my stomach drop and said no. To my surprise, he was genuinely concerned and seemed like a nice guy. We chatted for a bit and eventually I went back inside with him.
The shop was your typical toy shop. Lots of sex toys and porn DVDs. I bought a small clit stimulator because I kind of felt like I needed to honor this occasion. The guy rings me up and mentions that I should check out the back room. I say no but he says there’s a lot of fun things going on back there. I eventually say sure and make my way to a room with porn playing. Sure enough a dick popped out. I finished it. Repeat. Repeat.
Do I regret it? No. It was actually kind of fun.”
“I was known in my stupider days (about two years ago) to flip through Craigslist ads. Mostly for the chuckles, sometimes for the pics, but every now and then I’d see an ad and be like ‘hmmm.’
I stumbled across an ad that was a local couple with a glory hole in the basement looking for a dude with ‘big balls.’ Well, I’ve got a dangly set, so I said fuck it, I’m curious to see where this leads and I sent over a pic. They replied almost immediately with ‘THATS WHAT WE WANT.’ Okay then.
We traded some emails, I got their address and we set up a time. Then came the rules. Gotta be quiet, since baby is asleep upstairs. Ok. Gotta be even quieter, since the wife’s father lives with them, too. Uhhh…ok. The wife will meet ya at the door and show ya her boobs to get ya going, then both will service the dick. Okay!
So I get there, pull up and kill the car. Wife is at the door…wait…is she? That woman looks like the picture I got plus about 100lbs. Shit. Well I’m here, might as well go through with it. I walk in, she’s all giddy about me actually showing up and we go down to the basement. Sure as shit, there is a blanket with a hole cut in it hanging over a doorway. She pops back behind the blanket, no boobies (no big loss). So I get my dick out…it’s like, fuck no man. Won’t get up. Shit.
About that time, the wife pops back out from the blanket. ‘Oh yeah, I forgot’ she says. Pops out these big old titties. ‘You can touch, but no sucking. The baby is still nursing.’ Ooookay. I grab ’em, bounce ’em around as ya do, and my little guy starts waking up. Sweet. She went back behind the blanket, I pop my junk through the hole.
And so begins the most awkward five-minute handjob I’ve ever got. Husband and wife chatting about my dick while playing with it (with lube) while baby and old guy are upstairs and I’m in a basement with an unattractive woman and some random dude with their hands on my junk. Okay, this idea wasn’t the best. But, I soldier on, mostly ‘cause my junk is sloppy lubed and hell, and a handy is a handy. I get off, they both giggle about it and clean most the lube off me. I pull out, zip up, and practically bolt out back to the car and drive home with this big old WTF look on my face.
About an hour later I get a text asking if I want to do it again. And pics of the husband pouring my jizz on his wife’s tits…I guess they caught it in a jar or some shit.”
“About a year ago I got dumped by my long-term girlfriend just before we were due to go on holiday to Berlin, I’d had a similar thing happen before and always regretted not going on the holiday so this time I decided I was just gonna go on my own. I had a … very mixed week there because the city is amazing but I was emotionally not in a right fucking state. I didn’t meet many people like I normally do on holiday and by the end (and to this day I guess) I was filled with so much self-loathing, but that’s not really the point of the story.
I’m bisexual but have mostly dated girls (for no real reason other than convenience) but I thought Berlin could be a great place to check out the gay scene. One night after a few (many) beers I went to a gay sauna, stripped to a towel, and went to see what was on offer. I’m a young guy in relatively good shape so almost as soon as I entered there were a couple of older guys following me around but I wasn’t interested. There were a few other young, hot guys but most also had a trail of old men following them, or were already fucking. As it was my first time, and in a country where I didn’t know the language, it got awkward very quickly and I decided to cut my losses, go jack off in a booth with porn playing and just go home.
I’d only been in the booth for a few seconds when I felt something, looked down and there was a beckoning hand sticking through a previously unseen glory hole. I figured it must be one of the older guys who was following me around and saw me go in but I thought fuck it, I’m here now, and I stuck my dick through. And it felt fucking AMAZING. I don’t know if it was the anonymity, the heightened sensation because I wasn’t looking at anything, or if this guy was just that good but it was probably the best blowjob I’d ever had and I was getting as close as I could to this wall, balls sticking through and all.
And then things went wrong. I felt some movement and then an intense pressure as my balls were squashed up against the wall on the other side and I couldn’t move them. I panicked having no idea what the guy was doing until I realized that it was his legs trapping my balls because he’d turned around without my realizing and shoved my dick up his ass. With no protection. In a fucking gay sauna in fucking Berlin. I’d never been so scared in my life knowing that this random guy would do such a thing like that, I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the first person he’d done it to so I was effectively fucking every ass in that sauna. Immediately after cumming, I got the fuck out of there as quickly as I could and basically ran back to my hostel, didn’t touch anyone for the last few days of the holiday, went straight to an STD clinic as soon as I got home and completely broke down when I told the nurse, who shamed the fuck out of me.
After a few weeks of shitting myself and locking myself away from everyone I know I could get a proper HIV test which thank fuck came back negative and I was so relieved I almost cried at the nurse again, and I’ve not been with a guy in any way since.
TL;DR: Got dumped, went to Berlin, stuck my dick through a hole into a good hole, and then a very bad hole. Didn’t get AIDS. 2/10, would not go back.”
“It happened almost a year ago in Vancouver.
I was there with my two buddies. We do a road trip every year around August/September and last year we decided to go to Vancouver during my birthday and see what the Granville hype was all about.
It was a Saturday and we started by walking to a bar called The Roxy early to get our stamps so we could leave and come back later on when it got busy to skip the line. On the way we passed by an Adult Video store claiming to have 25-cent peep shows and with a good amount of alcohol in our systems we decided that at some point in the night we would go into it and see what the hell a 25-cent peep show is like. Turns out nearby the Roxy there is an arcade that has all the old machines, and in the back there is super-old and outdated TV screens you put a quarter into and get two minutes of porn! So we popped a quarter in and had a good laugh…until we looked down and saw some old tissues on the floor near our shoes and started gagging.
I should have taken this as my first warning to what peep shows in this city are like.
We went straight to the Roxy after that and decided to stay there and see what it was all about. Very cool place with a live band and cheap drinks. I managed to make out with a girl who I was on the verge of taking home, but due to the fact that her friends were gross and my buddies didn’t want to hit on them, they left and would not leave her. Super understandable.
About four hours later after having our night and being sufficiently drunk we started to head home so we could stop by a 24-hour poutine shop near our Airbnb. On our way we saw it. Canada’s oldest adult video store with 25-CENT PEEP SHOWS! So we made true to our promise and went into the shop. Turned out to be a pretty normal adult store with toys and movies. We took a look around and then decided to ask the cashier what the 25-cent peep show is. She told me it is a minimum of $10 and she handed us a roll of quarters and directed us to the back of the store. My two buddies opted out saying, ‘It’s your birthday, you go in there and let us know what it’s like.’ Having no idea what was in store for me I gladly took the change and headed into the dark abyss.
Once through the corridor I was greeted by three odd-looking dudes. One tall white guy, a little Filipino man, and another that just kinda was walking passed toward one of the booths. Again, I was very intoxicated and didn’t really think anything of it, and had no idea what was going on. The tall white guy greeted me and was very friendly and pointed to the booth next to the one he was near and said ‘This one works the best, it has the best TV.’ So I took his advice and popped in there and locked the door behind me (thank god).
In the booth was a TV and a slot to put quarters into. I put my roll of quarters on the top of the TV and popped one of them suckers in and the one-minute timer started. I chose a movie and that’s all it was. Just a place to watch porn. It was about 30 seconds into this video that I started hearing a scratching noise to my right. I looked and there it was, a glory hole. Every five or so seconds I kept seeing a white hand quickly touch/scratch it and go away. It was at this exact moment that I knew exactly what was up and what I had gotten myself into.
Now I’ve never been too self-conscious about things and since my friend had paid the $10 for me to be in there I figured I would at least watch the porn and whack one out real quick. I was alone and by myself and had no shame.
I had my dick out in my hand and to my left was the door. I heard some knocking. ‘You have got to be shitting me, it’s that Filipino dude. He wants to fuck!’ I ignored it and hoped that he would leave me alone—he did. I was nervously shaking at this point from all the commotion and the fact that to my right there is a man waiting to suck my dick and to my left there is a man wanting in. Drunk, confused, and horny (due to the aforementioned girl at the bar), I just kept on trucking.
About four quarters in I realized that due to my drunkenness it wasn’t really happening. The man stopped knocking on the door, but the man to my right was still persisting. It was at this moment that I took a look at the situation and thought to myself, ‘I’ve watched so many videos of glory holes and always wondered what it was like. Well here I am. Ideally there would be a girl behind there, but fuck it, I’ve never had my dick sucked by a dude. Let’s make a stupid decision tonight.’ So I did.
I stuck li’l Megatron in there and within three seconds there was a mouth latched onto it and away we went. Now I’m pretty sure I’m not gay, but in that moment I realized what the ‘glory’ in glory hole really meant. This guy was a fucking pro. No teeth and worked the shaft like a goddamn champion. The only moment he stopped was to tell me ‘The hole is big enough for your balls to come through as well.’ I’ve had more than a few blowjobs in the past, and next to my whore of an ex (whore being key word here, she had the skills I guess she HAD to share), this was the best blowjob I had ever received. I had my body angled in a way that I could keep popping quarters into the machine and watch some porn as this all was happening.
Now when I say this is the best blowy I’ve ever gotten you are probably thinking that I ended quick. But whisky dick was in full effect this night and it took until I had only six quarters left to finish in this man’s mouth. I warned him and everything and he just took it all. Glorious.
Once complete I sat back in the seat and sat there for another two quarters contemplating my life and every decision I have made for the past 24 years. ‘Happy Birthday to me,’ I thought. I didn’t want to leave and have to walk by these people again.
It took the rest of the quarters for me to finally work up the courage to leave the booth and face the music. I got out and the same spots they were in when I got there I saw all three men again. All three men winked at me and as I walked by, the white guy whispered to me, ‘Thanks big boy.’
That moment shook me to my very core and it is something that I will never ever forget.
I got out of the dark room and my two friends were still there—after 40 minutes—and just relentlessly hitting on the cashier. She was loving it and so were they. She spotted me and asked, ‘Have fun?’
‘Uhhhh yup! Let’s GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO boys.’
So we got out of there after my buddy bought a couple toys for his girlfriend and we proceeded to get poutine. It took almost a full hour for one of them to finally click and realize it was now 4am and I had been in there for 40 minutes. I just couldn’t hold in or lie to them and told them the entire thing. They were both in shock and could not stop laughing. Them, and I guess you are now the only people who will ever know this story. Please don’t tell my family.”
“At a party a few years ago, had a few drinks and being overly sociable with people there. One guy was very confident and started talking about an after party. It was almost 4am so I was a bit confused, until he explained about a house-share place filled with uni girls. He said that they do glory hole blowjobs, and literally anyone is welcome. Obviously I was a bit suspicious but he showed me some of them on Facebook and they were all stunning.
So I decided to go with him. He drove me to this large house (yes, he was over the limit but…) and we walked upstairs to a corridor with a few doors. He opened a door for me I looked through, and it was like a living room, sofa, TV showing porn… and a door with a hole in it. He walked down the corridor to another room for his blowjob. So, I stripped off and watched the porn for a bit to get my guy up, and I could hear some movement behind the door.
I tried talking, things like ‘Do you want me to wear a condom’ but she didn’t say anything. So I went in, and she started going at it. Needless to say it didn’t take me long to get off. Afterwards I tried to thank her, still she didn’t say anything, so I just got dressed and left. In all it took about 10 minutes, so I decided to just call a cab and get out of there.
Anyways, the bit you’re probably expecting, it wasn’t a girl. It was the guy who brought me there. How do I know? Because a few months later I was getting off to some glory-hole videos and recognized the room in one of the thumbnails, clicked on it to see a split screen from either side of the door. I was on one side and he was on the other.”
“I often scour Craigslist for free stuff and then ogle the casual encounters section for a bit. I was pretty horny one time when I came across an ad for a glory hole. I figured why the hell not and shot them an email. We talked for a bit and they told me to come over that night. I drive up to their house and they give me a fucking essay of instructions on how to approach the house and proceed from there. Says to just walk in and strip naked, walk upstairs, sit on this stool in complete darkness and pull a sheet hung on a doorframe over my lap. After hiding my keys, wallet, and cellphone on top of my tire, I proceed with caution.
Luckily it wasn’t a setup for a robbery but I’m still thinking it could be a dude. I get in, kept my clothes on until I heard their voice, and sat on the stool. To my relief I hear the voice of a woman, like ain’t no way it’s a man pretending. I strip and pull my floppy out and sheet over me. She goes to town and is fucking amazing. I’m holding onto the stool with both hands to keep myself from falling as my world turns upside down. It was so good I couldn’t stop her going for the stinky pinky.
I’m going to guess that she’s extremely heavy-set. At one point she put me inside of her like it was nothing. I wasn’t wearing a condom and we had discussed this in our four emails. It freaked me out and I pulled out of her. I told her to either finish sucking or I’m leaving. She jerks me off for a bit telling me about her boyfriend and how she just got gangbanged by the neighbors yesterday. I felt extremely dirty, but blowjob. I finished with the power of a thousand suns. I couldn’t look my family in the eyes for a solid week.
Now I go to her house almost every Tuesday.”
“Some dude posted on a hook-up site he had a glory hole set up. I responded and
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