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by Rise For India June 3, 2015 1 181006
by Shishir Mandya September 15, 2020 0
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Shishir Mandya September 5, 2017 July 26, 2018
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The purest relationship which perhaps exists in today’s world is that between a parent and a kid. In majority of the cases, both are deeply in love with each other.
But this is not one of those cases. This story is about Juli and what her father did to her.
It takes a lot of courage and heart to come up and discuss something as personal as this. And that is what blew me away about Juli from the word go.
When I gave her a call, she was just about to enter her home, coming back from office. Being a modest girl she is, she didn’t even excuse herself to freshen up or have dinner. Our conversation took off right away.
Initially she was a bit hesitant on how to start, but then I guess it was her determination which pushed her to share how it all started and what exactly happened.
“Initially I used to stay with my grandparents in Rourkela. It was great there. They loved me a lot, and I too enjoyed living with them. My parents used to stay in Jhashuguda. They used to fight a lot. Not exactly a fight, my father would beat her up badly almost every other day. My mom had dark spots of bruises all over her body. She was in an abusive relationship with my father.
I was in class 5 th I guess when my parents asked me to move to Jhashuguda to live with them. That was the point, my life started changing. My father would beat us with belts and sticks and treated my mother like a slave.
One day my mother got a call from her brother, and she had to go and visit him for a few days, I cannot remember what the exact reason was.
That left me and my younger brother with my father. Being a military person, he knew how to cook and do other simple household stuff. Therefore, he managed to convince my mother that he will take care of us.
I can clearly recall, it was a hot afternoon when my father asked me to come to his room. He was stitching some of my clothes. I went inside and stood next to him. He got up to close the door and came back. He asked me to unbutton my pants. As I did that, he made me take them off and lie on the bed.
He went away, I thought he has gone, so I got dressed and was just about to leave when he returned. He had gone to get some oil. He again made me take off my pants and other clothes as well. He did the same to himself, and applied the oil to his penis. I didn’t even understand what was happening. He pushed himself inside me, and did it repeatedly. After he was done, he ejaculated on me which I earlier thought was piss.
I got dressed and left. He asked me to never tell this to anyone and he will give me chocolates for that.
The second time it happened was just a couple of days later. My mother still hadn’t returned. He was drunk this time. I was making teddy bear in my drawing book and watching Jurassic Park with my brother when he came to our room. He asked me to follow him to his room and my brother to continue with the television.
I had to oblige, I didn’t have an option. There was no one whom I could tell all that. I went to his room, and the same thing happened again, and it wasn’t the last time either.
I was too scared of him now. I didn’t tell this to my mother even after she returned, afraid of what he might do to me if he gets to know.
Everyone behaved as if nothing had happened.
The next time my father forced himself inside me was when my mom had gone to attend a funeral. It happened just like before.
After my mom came back, he continued abusing her. There came a point when my mom couldn’t keep all that inside her. She told everything to my father’s elder brother’s wife. She is a nice person. When I heard my mom telling how he forced her as well to have sex with him, I finally blurted out everything. My mom and my aunt hugged me and cried. I didn’t even know at that time why they were hugging me. I didn’t know that I was raped.
We decided to leave the house and go to my dada’s home. None of the buas and chachas supported us. They treated me and my mom badly. They would make me sit in front of everyone and ask me to tell in detail about what happened. They would threaten me that if I don’t speak, me and my mom would be sent to jail. During that stay, one of my cousins also tried to do things with me. When I was asleep one day, he lied next to me and started kissing and running his hands over my body. And at that very moment there was a power cut, and other people came inside the room.
Eventually we decided to leave that house, and shifted back to Rourkela.
My father didn’t stop following us. He would come along with my younger brother and emotionally blackmail my mother. It continued for a few days, and my mother again fell into the trap. My mother fought with all my uncles, and didn’t listen to anybody.
The same thing happened again with me and my mom. He started abusing and assaulting her every day.
Things didn’t change with me either, he noticed the change in my body as I was growing up, so one evening he put his hands on my chest and tried to me feel me up, but I had the courage to stop him and walk away.
On top of all that, he had an affair with a prostitute who lived nearby.
One night when he left saying that he had to go for work, my mother understood he was lying. She followed him up and caught him red handed. My father came running in from the back door and locked it. I didn’t know what his intentions were. Perhaps he wanted to rape me again. I took my brother and escaped from a small hole in the backyard. It was pitch dark outside, and I didn’t even have my slippers.
Some street dogs chased me, I was scared to death. Somehow I managed to reach my neighbour’s house. My mother then contacted us and we moved back to Rourkela. But this time, even my grandparents were not ready to accept her as she had gone against their will the last time. They were ready to accept me, but I couldn’t leave my mother alone.
The struggle continued as we lived in a very small room. I managed to give my board exam by lending some money. My mother always ensured that my education never got hampered in any way. I did a graphic designing course and now I am well settled in a good company. But, I never got a childhood which I deserved, and I guess I will always regret that.”
If you look from the outside, then everything will look normal now. But when you step in a little deeper, you will understand what she goes through even today. Her mother thinks that Juli doesn’t remember all this, or probably she just ignores it. The truth is that things like these are almost impossible to forget.
She told me that she doesn’t have many friends, as she never got a chance to have a regular social life, but hopefully I am in that list now. She is one of the toughest persons I have come across in my life and I feel grateful that I came across her and got a chance to be her friend.
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My brother raped me from ages 7-13. I eventually liked it.
Comment removed by moderator · 8 yr. ago
/r/Confession is a place to admit your wrongdoings, acknowledge your guilt, and alleviate your conscience.
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My parents had us 8 years apart almost exactly. He is my only sibling and acted like I didn't exist. Never talked to me never played with me. When I was 7 he started coming into my room at night and fondle me, he eventually made me give him oral and then eventually vaginally penetrated me. It was agony at first, I bled but he just pumped away. I didn't tell my parents, I don't know why, embarrassment, or maybe I liked the attention from my brother.
This is why I'm confessing. I eventually began to enjoy it. Not at first, it stopped being painful after the 3rd or 4th time. He came into my room a lot. 3 times a week or more maybe. It makes me sick to think about it, my brother using his little sister for sex. He made me try all these weird positions he learned from porn, he liked finishing inside me.
He went away for college and came back for spring break when I was 12 I guess. I locked my door but he got in anyway. He didn't do his usual spit on his hand and lube up and go, he went down on me this time. I had never had an orgasm before. After I came he entered me. I guess he liked the way it felt when I was pleasured down there, because he came into my room every night he was home and did the same thing. I was sad when he went back to school. He didn't come back over the summer break but did for Christmas. We resumed like rabbits. He got a girlfriend and switched schools, I didn't see him again until I was much older.
It makes me sick to think about it. We've never spoken about it, we don't really speak at all. I think he thinks I'll tell.
If he has kids he'll move on to them next. He needs to be stopped.
Yes, this will most definitely happen to somebody else (probably more than one person) unless you do something about it. It's a crime that creates victims like you, and it too often goes unreported for long periods of time. Prevent others' lives being ruined - do the right thing and report him to authorities.
you make a good point, he might re offend. ideally he should go to jail but it's complicated.
how can he be stopped? what if she can't prove anything? it's her word against his. what if he gets off but she destroys her relationship with her parents? what he did was definitely a crime but in families things get complicated. i think she needs to talk to a professional/therapist and do things carefully.
That's entirely possible. The story needs to be out, for the sake of his kids at the very least.
I don't think you can assert that on speculation unless you have evidence that the 2 are correlated.
And don't fucking downvote me for simply being scientific.
I'd argue that this is more a general cause for concern and not directly related to her being a child at the time, as he likely had been one a short time before as well. More an indicator of a pathological lack of empathy etc than of pedophilia, really.
I disagree. Your kids aren't in same category as who you (he) zeroed in on. Maybe his kids friends, maybe a more distant relative (on his side of family. I know there are parents (dads and moms) crossing that line a lot. But he doesn't talk about any of it with her, as she is avoiding to talk to him or another relative How about their mother. No. I believe if he does try and can't break the habit of sex abuse (with a child, or other) it won't be so close to Home. But my opinion because I've been where shes was at. I never told either, but I hated every time and there were a lot of times. I stopped it at 16yrs I think. but thats another story. He wasn't my brother, but a close relative, and he had a little girl.. he treated his child very good. I know. I had 3 girls and they stayed over nights at their home.. YES, I Very much was policing on making sure he behaved with them around, and acted like their Religious & pious Uncle, and Not what he did to me. He never stepped over the line, nor with his child... but he tried once with his daughter's friend. After he lied himself out of that mess he laid low until he got sick and died. May he rest in Hell. But see, I think if it would happen again, it won't be so close to the homefront. But my opinion.
You may want to seek rape counseling or therapy to deal with the feelings you have about this. Also, I don't know how much time has passed, but if it's an option, you may want to come forward about what he did to you. Unless you have proof, it's possible nothing will come of it, but I would really worry about him having kids and doing the same thing to them.
As for enjoying it, don't feel bad. It's not at all uncommon. Your body will react to sexual stimuli regardless of whether you want it or not. On top of that, with him being so much older and with the abuse going on for so long, it's expected for you to grow to accept, enjoy, and even miss it. There's nothing wrong with feeling that way, and there's nothing wrong with you. He's the guilty one, not you.
Never feel bad for enjoying rape. You can't control what feels good to your body. And considering the age it started, you didn't even understand what he was doing anyway. You become used to it, it becomes something to rely on, which further helps the enjoyment.
However, if I were you, I would go to the police. Sexual experimentation between siblings happens often, but not to the extend of what he did. He sounds like a horrible person. A guy completely without compassion, not caring that he hurts someone as long as he gets his 2 minutes of fun. I have no doubts a guy like that will find more victims. Try to stop him from making more victims, please.
Her attachment may be due to high levels of Oxytocin, the bonding hormone . Here is an article about it. Here's a link to the Reddit discussion. Oxytocin makes it hard for abused victims to get away from their abuser according to the study. This is all due to biological processes beyong the real of OP's control. Indeed, she should not feel ashamed. Instead, she should talk to her closest parent and discuss the subject. Her brother might abuse others, especially if he has children and is a threat to both society and himself. He should be prevented from interacting with vulnerable people(children, women, disabled etc.) by confinement and undergo therapy. You need to be brave OP. It will be hard to expose your brother's abuse to your parents but you must do it. I hope you can heal these emotional wounds and I wish you all the best in the future. Stay strong!
Please talk to your parents about this. Whatever issues you and him may have will only chip away at both of you and any future people he comes in contact with. He won't stop unless proper actions are taken. Yes, it's embarrasing but think about it. Do you want anyone close to you to ever go through what you did? Do the right thing and talk to your parents. Get a therapist. And unfortunately seek proper action against your brother. It will hurt and it will definitely be a difficult struggle for you but it has to be done. For everyone's sake.
I can't believe what I just read. This made me physically ill. Your brother is the most terrible person there is and he will continue to do this to other people unless he gets help. Be forewarned, you may need serious counseling or your guilt will manifest itself in terrible ways.
I'm sorry that happened to you. My brother did similar things to me between the ages of 9 and 12. You need to talk to someone professional so that you can start healing.
He could've been the victim at some point too. Its a vicious cycle. Talk to him about it, even if its just to get him help and save another child.
I strongly disagree. I don't care if he has once been a victim. He is a rapist now. Save another child by turning him in, not by talking to him.
Let me clarify - talk to him in the sense, ask him if he was a victim. If he was, you need to find the source. Ask him if he was (someone else can ask if that is safer), and find out where it started. if it started with him, then there you go. if it didn't, then find the source and report them all together.
I think that it's just a natural physiological response to hearing sexual activity described by a stranger. There are plenty of incest/rape fantasy stories out there, and it's difficult sometimes to feel like it's a real person this happened to. Don't feel too bad about it.
your responses to what happened are normal and nothing for you to be ashamed about. sex between siblings happens more often that we think. the age difference puts it into the category of abuse/rape, like you said. he should feel ashamed, not you. the shame you feel is his, give it back to him in your mind, if you can.
you should get professional advice on this. you might need to talk about it for your own mental health but there is also a risk he might re-offend as others have said. then again there is probably no way you can prove what happened so accusing him might cause more harm then good. get a good therapist.
I don't know what the age difference is, but what puts this into the category of rape is how he went about it. This is more than just sexual experimentation. This was brutal. He fucked her while she was bleeding and in pain, apparently not caring about her even the slightest bit. Her brother is very disturbed.
I agree with the other poster. I've heard stories of similar aged siblings experimenting together. This however sounds like victimization.
The thing no one is asking here is are going actually OK is your life destroyed? I'm sorry you had to put up with this.
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