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19 Household Items You Can Use as Homemade Sex Toys
You’ll never look at your spatula in the same way.
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5 Things You Should Know About Stress Urinary Incontinence
105 Gifts Your Boyfriend Will Actually Want to Receive
The 12 Best Ellipticals for Low-Impact Cardio Workouts at Home
5 Things You Should Know About Stress Urinary Incontinence
105 Gifts Your Boyfriend Will Actually Want to Receive
The 12 Best Ellipticals for Low-Impact Cardio Workouts at Home
5 Things You Should Know About Stress Urinary Incontinence
105 Gifts Your Boyfriend Will Actually Want to Receive
The 12 Best Ellipticals for Low-Impact Cardio Workouts at Home
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Malia Griggs is a writer, editor, and social storyteller who joined SELF's commerce team in 2020. Previously, she worked at The Daily Beast , Comedy Central, and Cosmopolitan. In addition to shopping, she has written about mental health, burnout, epilepsy, race, and relationships.
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Whether you realize it or not, there are many situations in which knowing how to convert household items into homemade sex toys is a real plus. Maybe you’re away from home and realize you’re without your favorite sex toy ; maybe things have gotten heated and you don’t have time to hunt for a vibrator ; maybe you’re looking to try a new kink without investing much money. Or maybe you just want to surprise your partner (or yourself).
Whatever the reason, Barbara Carrella , a certified sexologist and author of Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century, says a DIY sex toy (which she calls a pervertible) is never far: “Pervertibles are every day, non-erotic items that can be easily converted into sex toys. They can be found absolutely everywhere, and once you start finding them, it’s hard to stop seeing the erotic potential in all sorts of everyday items.”
We spoke to a variety of sex educators and experts about their top picks for unassuming everyday objects you can bring into your sex life, either with a partner or by yourself. While there’s no true replacement for a body-safe sex toy , Rae Chen, sex and beauty editor of TheNotice.net , tells SELF: “There are a lot of household items that can double as sex toys for the brave (or very, very horny). Ideally, I recommend using only new, clean items."
From spatulas to throw pillows, Carrellas says once you start looking for pervertibles, “you can expand your erotic imagination and increase your pleasure possibilities.” (And save money too.) Below, we’ve rounded up a few of the best homemade sex toys, as well as expert recommendations for how to safely enjoy them.
All products featured on SELF are independently selected by our editors. However, when you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an affiliate commission.
Ice cubes are a great gateway to the DIY sex toy game because they’re not messy and can easily be tossed down the drain if you’re not feeling it, Gigi Engle, resident sex educator at 3Fun and author of All The F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life , tells SELF.
As for how to employ the ice cubes, she says: “The nipples are a hot zone (pun intended). Run the cold object around your partner’s nipples and then over each one, taking note of how they respond. If they’re clearly enjoying themselves, move down their body. Focus on the inner thighs and hip bones.” And if they’re into that sensation, engage their penis or vulva last.
Be sure you always have fresh ice cubes ready to go—a task made easy if you own a useful refillable silicone ice cube tray like this one above. (Before you ask, they’re molded like coffee beans , we promise.) For more traditional shapes, try these freezer trays from Amazon .
“A wooden spoon is an excellent toy for spanking when you’re ready to move on from a flat palm,” Engle says. She advises that the spoon be on the newer side and finished, as you wouldn’t want to give your partner splinters in their rear. Once you’ve pulled the spoon out of its drawer, use the back of it as a paddle, but(t) don’t hit with full force. “Work your way up to more intense strokes,” Engle adds. “As beginners, it can take some time to get your bearings. Remember, always ask your partner if something feels good or is too rough.”
You don’t have to invest in a full-on BDSM kit to incorporate some light bondage into your play. Carol Queen, staff sexologist at Good Vibrations , recommends pulling out a bandana, which you might already have lying around (or maybe now’s the time you buy a cute scarf like this one from Madewell, which comes in an Afterglow Red colorway).
Crucially, avoid bandanas made of fabrics as slinky as silk or satin, as those materials get dangerously tight when you knot them. “Fold or twist a cotton bandana or scarf, however, and you can tie wrists much more safely,” Queen says, adding that you should still be able to slide one finger between the scarf and skin.
Another way to use a bandana? As a blindfold, tied to the side so the wearer doesn’t have to place their head on an awkward knot.
“Swishing around mouthwash (or sucking on a mint ) before or during oral sex will create a pleasurable tingling sensation which will feel amazing for your partner if they’re into that type of stimulation,” says sex and relationship therapist Malika O’Neill , LPC, and founder and CEO of The Pleasure Collective, LLC . This homemade sex toy has the added bonus of freshening your breath too.
“ Humping items like pillows , blankets, and sofa arms can be perfect for external stimulation,” Chen says. “Just be sure to cover them with something you can launder.”
Given its length and rod-like curves, the phallic hairbrush handle makes for an easily accessible and dildo-like sex toy . Experts don’t recommend you insert anything that isn’t an actual sex toy inside of you, but if you must, Chen says: “Insertable household items like the iconic hairbrush, toothbrush, or cucumber should be covered with a condom to prevent yeast and bacterial infections.”
Be sure to wash and dry everything before and after use, and, most importantly, “For the love of the emergency room, don’t put anything without a flared base up your butt! That means yes to the hairbrush, but no to the cucumber.” Experts also recommend using a water-based lube .
Speaking of lube , a good go-to item is coconut oil , which Chen calls an “amazing lubricant you can find in the kitchen that’s safe for use on skin and sex toys and makes for a great massage oil too.” In fact, Chen says, any neutral vegetable oil (like EVOO) is safe for use just as long as it's not flavored. One more thing to know is that oil doesn’t mix with latex condoms—so if you’re getting kinky with coconut oil, be sure to pair it with a non-latex (polyurethane) condom.
Another fantastic spanker? A silicone spatula. “Make sure you choose a well-made spatula,” Queen says. “The danger with a cheap one is that the flexible end might fly off the handle when you’re using it.” To avoid accidents, we’ve got our eye on this lovely lilac model from Williams Sonoma, which has a cool stainless steel handle that you can personalize with whatever text you like. Go ahead—get creative.
“A bathrobe is something that lots of people have sitting around, and its tie can be used as a blindfold and for bondage ,” Jenn Mason, the owner of WinkWink Boutique , tells SELF. Just pull the tie out of any robe (or, hell, a wrap dress ) and use it to tie wrists together or to a headboard.
If a bandana isn’t nearby, another reliable blindfold stand-in is a good old cotton T-shirt, which Engle calls an ideal blindfold. “While spanking and wrist-tying is fun, start with the blindfold alone,” she says. “Once it’s secured over your eyes, have your partner kiss you and massage you with essential oils. Then, the sexy stuff can really get underway.”
Yoga and meditation lovers, put that bolster to uses other than back stretching. Bolsters are excellent for humping, Queen says, as they’re a bit like bunched-up pillows but firmer—meaning you’ll get better stimulation from rubbing yourself on them.
If you’ve got a foam roller on hand (or were looking for a reason to buy one), Queen notes that the more slender variety can be used for impact play (as can pool noodles, although they’re a bit on the long side).
“There’s nothing more erotic than getting oiled up for some sexual fun,” O-Neill says. Pro-tip for parents: The baby oil you keep around can be dual-purposed as a massage oil in a pinch.
One more blindfold option is a sleep mask . We’re partial to this soft, silky mask from Blissy, which is as great for hair and skin as it is at allowing you to try bondage play.
If you’ve got a penis and a plush toy nearby, “cut a hole so you can insert your penis into the interior and do your thing,” O’Neill advises. The stuffing and pressure should create an enjoyable sensation. While we’re not recommending that you go looking for your children’s stuffed animals, maybe you’ve got a plush prize from a county fair hanging around the house somewhere. Either way, O’Neill recommends wearing a condom in case you want to use the toy again.
Of course, if you don’t own any plush toys, a throw pillow works just as well.
Here’s a homemade sex toy idea that’s seasonally appropriate: “Those cheap-y thong sandals that so many people have for summer can be great for spanking,” Mason says. “They’re a bit stingy, and you want to make sure they’re not too dirty, but they make a really great spanking device.”
“If you want to have a ‘messy’ sexual experience that may include bodily fluids and don’t want to ruin your sheets, a shower curtain may be the thing you need,” O’Neill says. Opt for a plastic curtain over a fabric one, and cover your existing bedsheets with it before you get down and dirty.
At the bare minimum, you at least have a pair of socks somewhere in your house. While not especially glamorous, if you or your partner have a penis and are looking for a simple feel-good fix, O’Neill recommends filling a sock with lube or (unscented) lotion and masturbating away. “If partnered, have your partner give you a hand job, or you can use your own sex toy and join the fun,” she says. And if you’re short on sex toys, well, read this article again.
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You may not own a Virtual Reality (VR) headset, but someone you know probably does. VR is growing rapidly and it’s going to change our world. Gaming, entertainment, education, and healthcare are just a few of the areas that will benefit from VR technology. However, its use in one less commonly discussed industry could put more at risk than we realize. VR sex platforms raise profound questions, forcing us to confront VR’s potential to affect our minds for better and for worse.
VR affects us in powerful ways for three main reasons. Firstly, computer-generated visuals have become so convincing that it can be difficult to decipher whether you’re looking at a real-world video recording or a computer-generated virtual creation [1]. Moreover, modern VR headsets have advanced to provide a consistent first-person view. Even while turning your head quickly, you rarely lose the illusion of a first-person perspective.
Secondly, the synchronization of other sensory forms like sound, smell, and most importantly, touch, with convincing visuals, amplifies the experience. In one groundbreaking experiment, the synchronized stroking of a rubber hand positioned parallel in space with a participant’s real, hidden hand created the sensation that the rubber hand replaced their real hand [2], an insight that has since been expanded in countless ways in VR [3]. When sensory streams are paired, the brain knits them together, enhancing the illusion of the virtual experience.
Finally, VR translates your own movements to control analogous movements in virtual worlds. When you reach out in a virtual world using the motor pattern you use in everyday life, see a virtual arm extend from your body to touch a virtual object, and feel that object, you experience an embodiment illusion [4]. When the visual, tactile, and motor information are delivered and received close enough in time, your brain is fooled. The body you see is no longer a virtual body, but your body.
As technologies advance, better visuals, touch feedback, and motor translation will create ever-more convincing virtual experiences. Headsets will progress to be lighter and more comfortable, computer processing power will increase, and as more consumers adopt VR as a medium, the breadth of experiences will expand, including into the intimate.
VR sex simulation is not the same as porn. The term “VR porn” is therefore somewhat misleading. When viewing photos or videos, you experience the material through a real-world lens; you still understand that you’re in your own body in the real world. VR sex simulation, using the principles of embodiment manipulation, supplants a person into a different body. In essence, you can become a different person, potentially acting in ways you never would in the real world.
VR sex platforms are not science fiction. There are devices on the market currently that stimulate human genitalia in synchrony with visuals and sounds from VR headsets, with much more powerful technologies in the pipeline [5]. Companies are even buying the rights to use the likeness of porn actors and actresses, creating 3D scans of their bodies for use in simulations [5,6].
With better AI, companies will no longer even require the rights to specific people. AI will generate a near-infinite number of digital sexual partners with stimuli so detailed it will be difficult to tell they’re not real people. In fact, some VR sex experiences will be designed for users to engage in acts that are impossible, socially unacceptable, and illegal in the real world.
User privacy will be difficult to maintain. Right now, data collected from the micromovements of your head are enough alone to identify you from among hundreds of others [7]. Upcoming VR headsets will come standard with eyetrackers, and even brainwave-sensing electrodes [8]. Recent studies have warned about the potential information that can be gleaned from visual gaze data – not just demographic data like age, sex, and ethnicity, but personal data like personality, drug use, mental health status, and sexual preferences [9]. With simple, easily implementable data analysis tools, any VR headset will know who you are soon after you don it and may know more about you than you know about yourself.
This data is far too voluminous for human analysts, but not for AI. VR sex platforms will use algorithms that compile your data to construct sexual experiences just for you. These experiences will be fine-tuned to your current mood - they will recognize your deepest, primal urges before you do.
The implications of this are not hard to imagine. AI algorithms will quickly learn what buttons to push and when, making the experience highly addictive. Perhaps your sexual preferences could be altered by your AI companion’s suggestions. If humans have access to an infinite set of virtual partners that know what they want in any given moment, how will people’s desire to seek out sexual experiences with one another be impacted? Perhaps humans will become so accustomed to “perfected” VR sex experiences, that the thought of intimacy with another “imperfect” human won’t even be arousing.
With first-person, embodied, VR sex experiences, people will feel physical stimulation, and see their virtual bodies being stimulated. They will be convinced that the virtual world is their world, and that their virtual body is their body. Relationships as we know them could be reshaped. It’s time to prepare for this possibility, and that begins by talking about it.
[1] Fallis, D. (2020). The Epistemic Threat of Deepfakes. Philosophy & Technology, 1-21.
[2] Botvinick, M., & Cohen, J. (1998). Rubber hands ‘feel’touch that eyes see. Nature, 391(6669), 756-756.
[3] Slater, M., Pérez Marcos, D., Ehrsson, H., & Sanchez-Vives, M. V. (2009). Inducing illusory ownership of a virtual body. Frontiers in neuroscience, 3, 29.
[4] Slater, M., Spanlang, B., Sanchez-Vives, M. V., & Blanke, O. (2010). First person experience of body transfer in virtual reality. PloS one, 5(5), e10564.
[7] Miller, M. R., Herrera, F., Jun, H., Landay, J. A., & Bailenson, J. N. (2020). Personal identifiability of user tracking data during observation of 360-degree VR video. Scientific Reports, 10(1), 1-10.
[9] Kröger, J. L., Lutz, O. H. M., & Müller, F. (2019, August). What does your gaze reveal about you? On the privacy implicati
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