Quick Bondage

Quick Bondage
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Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, culture, and entertainment.

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There’s something undeniably arousing about being tied up or tying a partner up in the bedroom. Not only does it change the power structure, facilitating elements of domination and submission, but it also evokes powerful emotions. There’s an immense amount of vulnerability and trust required when sexually bound. These reasons (among others) help to explain why so many people fantasize about BDSM (remember, the B stands for “bondage”). In fact, a 93% of men and 96% of women have fantasized about some aspect of BDSM before.
So what are the best ways to use bondage during sex? If you’re someone who’s curious about bondage sex positions, you might have come across Shibari , a contemporary form of rope bondage that originated in Japan. (Sometimes, it’s also called Kinbaku or Japanese bondage.)
“Shibari is not inherently sexual,” explains Sydona , a Shibari artist and instructor; some people use it as a form of meditation or as a tool to feel intimate with a partner. However, Shibari can be sexual if you so choose. You can tie your partner up, and the two of you can go at it for hours in various positions. This piece is focused on all the fun, kinky sex you can have when either you or your partner is bound.
But before we continue, safety first! If you’ve never attempted Shibari, consider taking a course or one-on-one class with a professional , because tying someone up can be incredibly dangerous both physically and emotionally. And there are certain things you should never do—like use rope across the neck. This can lead to asphyxiation.
“The number one rule for tying safely is to ALWAYS have safety shears within reaching distance,” Sydona says. “The second is to be able to communicate to your partner well, both as both a top [person doing the tying] and bottom [person being tied]. Being able to communicate explicitly and coherently before, during, and after a session is what keeps it as safe and enjoyable as possible.”
With that said, here are 13 bondage sex positions you can try out with your partner. (You’ll notice the first two “positions” are actually two different types of standard Shibari ties that will allow you to complete every other position on the list.) In addition to speaking with Sydona, we also talked to world-renown, Shibari expert Midori . She's a sexologist, educator, and author of Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage . (Midori offers Shibari classes , if you want to learn more advanced knots than the ones offered on this list.)
All you really need to be able to bring bondage to the bedroom is a simple handcuff-style tie, Syonda says. "This is called a 'double column' tie—two loops around two 'columns' (usually two limbs) that doesn’t collapse or self tighten."
"In any tie, but particularly with ties involving the wrists, it’s important to make sure you have plenty of wiggle room between the skin and the rope, and that the tie can’t tighten down on itself," she says. "A tie that does this is both uncomfortable and unsafe and can potentially cause loss of circulation or nerve damage."
To actually complete the double column tie, place your "wrists a couple of inches apart, and then wrap around both wrists," Midori says. "Cross at the middle and wrap around the space between the wrists and then tie two overhand knots." (I know this can be a little confusing without a depiction, so check out this 2-minute tutorial on how to to do a double column tie.) Once you've mastered the double-column wrist tie, you can get creative with it!
"This is a Shibari classic with vast variations," Midori says. "For a super simple way to start, use one or two long ropes, perhaps 25 to 30 feet. Then tie their wrists together behind their back. Use the remaining rope and wrap that around the arms and body. First below the breasts or pecs, then over it. If you connect the check ropes between the arm and torso, you’ll be able to snug it down tightly."
You can play in numerous positions with this one. "It's great for full frontal access to nipples and genitals," Midori says. "It's super hot for face-down anal, too."
"Position your partner on their knees with their behind in the air and chest flat on the bed, floor, couch, etc.," Sydona says. "Pull their arms back and tie their wrists together behind their thighs to their ankles. If this is too tough on their neck, put a pillow under their chest."
While the image here is depicting oral stimulation, you can also do anal and vaginal penetration in this position.
"Bend their legs and tie the thigh and ankle together with an easy release two column tie; then repeat for the other leg," Midori says. It's optional to tie the wrists to the thighs, Midori adds. (That's what's depicted in the image.)
This position allows for "sexy vulnerability" and "access to all the bits" making it great for both giving and receiving oral pleasure. It's also really smooth to transition into bound doggy from this position.
In this position, the bottom's ankles are tied to a pole—make sure to use something that won't give anyone splinters—a PVC pipe could work here or even a long Swiffer handle. The bottom's wrists are tied together.
Midori notes that you feel "delightfully exposed" in this position, and it's "fantastic for bound penetration from behind."
Have your partner lie on their stomach for the hogtie. "Tie their ankles together and their wrists behind their back, then tie those to each other," Sydona says.
"While this isn’t a great position for penetration, it’s great for oral and sets the mood for a BDSM-type session. Don’t forget that this position can be very strenuous on your partner’s back and shoulders, so make sure you have a quick exit plan and check in often."
Lay on one side, and "Tie wrists together with a basic wrist tie. Tie the left ankle to the right thigh, using the same tie as the wrists. Then tie the left thigh to the left upper arm bicep. Make sure it’s not too tight," Midori says. "The body looks amazing in this position and it's hot for spooning sex from behind."
Have your partner sit in a chair and tie their ankles to each chair leg and their wrists behind their back. "This position is great for oral, using toys, or for a good ol’ fashioned interrogation role play," Sydona says. "Pro tip: make sure the back of the chair is against a wall or something stable, so you don’t accidentally push your partner over backward in the heat of the moment."
"Have your partner straddle a chair so their booty is just barely off the edge of the seat and rest their chest on the seat's back," Sydona says. "Tie their ankles to the legs of the chair and their wrists behind their back. This position is great for anal play."
(Note: For this position to work, you need to use a chair without arms. You also want to lean the chair against a wall or bed; you don't want the chair toppling over!)
"Have your partner lie flat on their back on a bed and tie their wrists and ankles to each corner," Sydona says. "For extra spice add a blindfold, and go to town. If you or your partner are new to bedroom bondage this is a great starting position. It's simple to tie, not particularly strenuous, and you can even buy user-friendly under-the-bed restraints if rope isn’t your style."
"Again have your partner lie flat on their back on the bed. Tie each ankle to each corner at the top of the bed, lifting their leg as high as is comfortable for them," Sydona says. "If this is too difficult, tie their thighs instead of their ankles, so they can bend their knees. This position is great for, well, everything."
"With your lover on their back, place a pole under their ankle, just above their heels," Midori says. "Tie each wrist and ankles to the pole, and [make sure to] tie loose enough for wriggle room and to prevent loss of circulation."
This position grants full access penetration to all the orifices, Midori adds.
The Group Project is a rope bondage position for when three people are involved . "Have your partners stand face-to-face with their arms around each other. Tie both partners’ wrists in a classic handcuff tie behind the back of the other," Sydona says.
"From here, you can take a voyeuristic role and watch an inevitable steamy makeout session, or alternate teasing each partner while the other watches at a very close range."

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Curious about the consensual, erotic power play of BDSM, but don't feel ready to invest in a full-scale dungeon just yet? We have good news: You can add BDSM moves to your partnered sex life without spending a mint on new accessories or mastering dozens of different rope ties.
Even in a post- Fifty Shades world, there's no shame in being new to BDSM. And while investing in kink gear and sex toys can be fun, this kind of play is ultimately about you, your partner or partners, and consensual power exchange, not capitalism. "BDSM doesn’t require any money," kink-friendly sex therapist Michael Aaron tells Allure . "Much of it is psychological, and if you are looking for impact play, many people feel like no toy beats their hands anyway, and that’s free. Likewise, various household items such as rope and clothespins can be used in scenes, and they hardly cost anything at all." (A "scene" is how people commonly refer to a period in which the kinky play goes down.) From safely restraining your partner to experimenting with role-play, here are eight ways you can explore BDSM with your partner tonight.
When we talk about dominance and submission in BDSM, we're talking about consensual power exchange: That means that even if a submissive partner is tied up and allowing the dominant partner to dictate what happens in a scene, the terms have been discussed and agreed upon by all partners beforehand. In fact, the sub can even be thought of as the one in control, since it's the dominant partner's responsibility to always respect their limits. Before trying anything new, talk it over with your partner to make sure you're both into whatever's about to go down. You may be interested in choosing a safe word that stops play if needed. Learning your turn-ons and boundaries (and your partner's) is all part of the fun of BDSM, and discussing your encounter before it happens can be its own anticipation-building form of foreplay.
Are you a submissive who likes being reprimanded? Do you want to be told that you're a bad girl and that you're going to do what daddy wants? Ask your partner to talk dirty to you. Anyone can engage in dirty talk related to BDSM themes, whether you are dominant, submissive, or both (someone who plays both roles is referred to as a switch). Dirty talk allows you to express your desires. Verbal cues also help you visualize hot fantasies. Say you have a fantasy of being restrained but for now just want to hear your partner tell you about how they're going to tie you up and (consensually) use you, or you'd like to see how it feels to call them "sir." Dirty talk lets you explore fantasies before physically trying them.
Adding sensory deprivation to your sex life is an easy and tantalizing way to build tension. When you temporarily subtract stimuli from one sense, you can heighten others: For instance, when you can't see because you're wearing a blindfold, a whisper in your ear or the taste of your partner's mouth may seem all the more intense — and exciting.
If you want to buy a blindfold, start with a comfy silk one such as this $8 satin mask from Babeland . You can also use a sleeping mask or the silk tie of a bathrobe. Depending on what role you want to play, ask your partner to blindfold you or ask if you can blindfold them. Once the blindfold is on, the partner not wearing it can tease and tantalize the wearer, leaving them guessing what's coming next by kissing all over their body, whispering dirty talk into their ear, or tickling erogenous zones with a feather.
Orgasm control, especially when done to a person with a penis, is usually referred to as "edging." This involves bringing someone nearly to orgasm and then abruptly stopping the stimulation, then repeating as desired. If you're new to orgasm control, you probably already know that delayed gratification can make the end reward that much sweeter. You don't have to have any sort of rigid edging routine to explore orgasm control: If you're the submissive partner, simply relax and give your dominant partner permission to take your orgasm into their hands. Have them use their mouth or a sex toy to bring you close to climax, stopping right beforehand. When you can't wait any longer, let them help you cross the finish line and prepare for the most intense orgasm you've had in a while.
Candles are useful for more than just creating mood lighting. They can also be used for temperature play, or using hot and cold to provoke arousal during sexual play . (This technique can feature in both vanilla and BDSM encounters.)
In the case of candles, you can have a partner drizzle hot wax on your body, but don't just use candles you picked up from the grocery store: The wax from those can be a little too hot. Companies such as Jimmyjane make massage candles designed for sex, in erotic scents such as bourbon and ginger and date . These sex-specific candles burn at lower temperatures than most conventional ones and also melt into luxurious oil that you can use for erotic massage. Since role-play, especially anything that involves power dynamics, is great BDSM fun, try role-playing as a massage therapist and client — complete with a happy ending if you so choose.
Restraint is the crux of many BDSM scene. After you and your partner discuss what activities are on the table when one of you is tied up (perhaps that's spanking, nipple biting, and oral sex are) and what's off-limits (maybe you're not too keen on spitting or face slapping), the tying can begin. There are many great books out there to teach you some basic knot-tying skills, such as The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage by Midori, but you don't have to get fancy; just make sure the knot or tie is something you can undo when you're ready. You can buy some specialty bondage rope or even use a scarf or a bathrobe tie. Pro tip: Lay whatever material you're using flat against the skin so that it doesn't bunch up and threaten to cut off circulation. If you use rope, keep some safety shears around so that if one of your knots becomes stuck, you can simply cut through the rope.
Handcuffs are another common restraint tool, and they tend to be quite user-friendly. While ropes are highly versatile, you don't have worry about your tying skills with handcuffs, and since you can also use cuffs to ensure the submissive partner is unable to touch themselves, they're handy for experimenting with orgasm denial. Start with some comfy Velcro cuffs , or if you want a realistic-looking pair, try these metal handcuffs from the Fifty Shades of Grey line on for size.
Role-playing can help you get into a kinky mood as you take on the personas of people with power dynamics you want to explore, such as a boss and secretary or student and professor. Dressing up is a creative, liberating way to explore hidden desires, so if you're turned on by being dominant or submissive with your partner but feel a little nervous, the right outfit could help.
It can be as simple as something you already have at home, such as a tie or a plaid skirt, but sites like Lovehoney offer a dazzling range of affordable costume options . Do you want to be the patient who asks the hot doctor to examine them and test their orgasm? Have your partner throw on a stethoscope. Turned on by cheerleader role-play? Put your hair in pigtails and lean into the fantasy. Costumes help us step into the dominant or submissive roles we want to act out in bed. Even if you throw on a costume and end up having vanilla sex, who doesn't love an excuse to play dress-up as an adult?
Watch our wellness editor test this wild flavor of lube:
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Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, culture, and entertainment.

Ryn Pfeuffer
Ryn Pfeuffer is a queer sex and relationships writer, and over the past two decades, her work has appeared in more than 100 media outlets including Marie Claire, Playboy, Refinery29, Shape, The Globe and Mail, The Washington Post, and WIRED.

This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io

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