Quarantine Journal 2026

Quarantine Journal 2026

DarthCoin ₿⚡️

It's been six years since we've been more or less quarantined. There is also good news. Authorities have announced that we have overcome the tidal wave of infections and we have a short break. Unfortunately, the steppe wave is approaching and somehow the steppe wave managed to hit the shore without breaking and turns back, to hit us again, simultaneously with the next wave.

Personally, however, I am very optimistic. Today it's finally my turn to go outside. I submitted the application three months ago, with the medical file and pictures of the protective suit according to the latest regulations. The request was approved the other day and I was given ten minutes to walk, fixed at 19:22. Do you realise? I'll see the sunset! Good luck to me!

Unfortunately, the Ultrabarrier 10,000 that I had given my last money last year was declared non-compliant as a mask, being too heavy to jump in the first grove when you hear the sirens, so as not to visually disturb any ambulance.

Now I took the Ultrabarrier X-treme light. It has no panic button to empty the lungs and uses duralumin and PWC instead of titanium, but it has mobility. You can turn your head 15 degrees in any direction with it. Theoretically it's a bit cheaper but practically I took two, so as not to miss the 10 minutes of outdoor walking that were allocated to me in case something unforeseen happens. I feel ready for anything.

Something unforeseen happened.

It's awful. Quarantine has been announced in my area. As usual, the ministry communicated ten points with latitude and longitude to delimit the quarantined area and we checked with three maps and four compasses. Whatever I do, one of the points hits me somewhere in the living room. Now I have joined the points in all possible ways and whatever you give it, I have at least one meter of living room in quarantine. It's already 2 p.m. Only a miracle can save me now. It's totally my fault. What did I need two rooms for? For what? And I pay for excesses. That's what I need. Let me learn my mind!

After a long telephone conversation with a civil servant and two bitcoins, I still found a solution. I will declare that the living room is not used and I waive the right of ownership over it. I quickly tore down a bathroom wall, built the living room door, and sent pictures. Officially I no longer have a living room and I am no longer in quarantine!

Now I just have to put a plank from the bedroom window to the side of the balcony so I can reach it, because it was only accessible from the living room. But I'll leave it for another day. I don't need a balcony now. And already 17:35. I'll be out in less than two hours! I'm going to put on my protective suit from now on, so there are no problems. * It's 6:14 pm and a little problem has arisen. I feel an urgent need to urinate and the zipper on the Ultrabarrier X-treme Light is blocked. The only way I can take the suit off me without ruining it would be to unzip it and sew it back on after urinating. It's completely my fault. Who the hell made me drink so much water?

6:56 p.m. It's serious. I feel my bladder crack. I tested on the spare suit how long it would take me to unzip and sew it back on. Minimum 31 minutes. Terrible. I only have 26 minutes until the exit. It's absolutely impossible to do it in such a short time.

In retrospect, I could have taken off my suit directly instead of wasting time testing the other suit for how long it would take me to take it off.

In retrospect, I could have torn it off and put the spare one directly. It's too late now, because I ruined that one too. I think it's from urine. You can't think logically when you feel your bladder explode.

19:23. I'm out and it's okay. Nothing else matters. I wish I could feel the wind, smell the plants, but I can't through the suit. However, I see how the leaves move and it's good, I imagine that instead of this pungent smell from the suit, it smells like trees. The mind is the strongest muscle. He can imagine anything. I walk the deserted streets to the park. Four more minutes, after which I will have to return to get back until 19:32. A warm feeling fills my soul. Warm and wet, from the bottom of the soul to the boots, which falter with every step. The steam rises and blurs my visor from the suit, but somehow I manage to see the sun. It's beautiful and reddish. Reach the tops of trees. It's spring. It's good. Nothing else matters. I walk slowly, I walk slowly, but I walk. Outside. On the deserted sidewalks. I need an urgent shower.