Quantum Computing Breakthrough: Scientists Create Qubit That Also Makes Great Coffee

In an unexpected crossover of physics and barista science, researchers at CERN have developed the world's first quantum computer that also brews perfect espresso. The device, called "Qubrew," maintains quantum coherence while grinding beans to atomic precision and frothing milk in multiple states simultaneously. "It exists in a superposition of both making coffee and having made coffee," explained lead researcher Dr. Hiro Tanaka, sipping a latte that was both hot and cold until observed. Early tests show the quantum espresso collapses into a delicious state 87% of the time, a vast improvement over both traditional computers and most hipster cafes. The only downside? Attempting to measure the coffee's temperature causes flavor decoherence, resulting in what scientists call "the uncertainty cappuccino." Tech giants are already fighting over patents, though bar unions warn this could put human coffee artists "in a state of quantum unemployment."