Qazvin Locals Start Charging Toll in Homemade Currency

<p><strong>QAZVIN �</strong> With evacuees flooding the region, entrepreneurial locals have set up spontaneous toll booths at the main entry points to Qazvin, charging desperate motorists in a variety of currencies, including gasoline, walnuts, and interpretive dance.</p> <p>"Look, the official economy's broken and people want to enter our peaceful chaos-free zone," said one toll taker named Farhad. "So yes, we accept bartered goods, and no, that potato does not count as legal tender unless it smiles."</p> <p>Many drivers, eager to escape Tehran's gridlocked fever dream, agreed to pay the toll in "Qazvin Credits," a makeshift currency that includes Monopoly money, bus tokens, and coupons for free hummus.</p> <p>One foreign journalist attempted to cross using an expired Chili's gift card. He was waved through with applause and a plate of saffron rice.</p> <p>Local police have responded with firm neutrality. "Technically it's illegal," said one officer, "but so is breathing too loudly these days."</p> <p>As traffic worsens, new toll lanes are appearing every hour. At least one was staffed entirely by goats.</p> <p>Economists predict that Qazvin's toll empire may soon rival the actual rial. "Hyperinflation?" said one goat. "Baaa-rgain."</p>