Putin Clones

Vladimir Putin may have clones, and international summits are starting to feel like an evil twin convention. Eyewitnesses in Brussels swore they saw three Putins walk into a bathroom and only two came out. Professor Nadya Petrov of Moscow University explains: "Cloning is cheaper than diplomacy; if one Putin fails, another replaces him." Anonymous staffers leaked that NATO has a bingo card for spotting fake Putins, including categories like "Too Tall Putin" and "Left-Handed Putin." A European poll shows 49% of citizens think Russia is ruled by clones, while 28% believe he’s just a hologram. Trace evidence includes mismatched shoe sizes and a KGB receipt for "bulk Putins." Cause and effect? The more confusing the clones, the harder it is to negotiate. Russia doesn’t need propaganda if no one knows which Putin is real.