Pussy Licking Instructions
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Pussy Licking Instructions
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If you really want her to blow, and blow huge, make sure she’s completely, totally relaxed. Make her dinner, rub her shoulders, light some scented candles (the ones she likes) and talk to someone at Fruits of Passion or the Body Shoppe and see what kind of massage oils they have. I’m not joking, the closer you have her to a semi-sleeping state when you start, the better. Semi-sleeping. Don’t drug her or anything.
Anticipation will be a fantastic weapon here, but not your only one. Observational skills are also key. Pay attention to breathing, twitches, goosebumps, shivers, sighs, finger- and toe-clenching as well as lip-biting. If you’ve got a starfish on your hands, it could be something as tiny as a blink or raising her eyebrows. If you’ve got a screamer, this gets more difficult, as you have to differentiate the extra-good noises from the normally-good noises. But by now, you’ve probably got a good ear for it. Let’s move on.
Used with permission from http://apolloniasaintclair.tumblr.com/
It all starts with a kiss. Make sure it’s passionate, kiss her in such a way that she knows you want her. Then move to her neck, and her earlobes, and her temple. Move slowly and breathe gently (you wouldn’t want someone heaving breath all over you, would you?) and if you can, gently trace your lips on her skin as you move. Kiss everywhere but the erogenous zones. If you don’t know what those are, stop reading and go google image-search it.
The point is, explore her body. Find out where she’s the most sensitive, and remember it for later. Especially good places to take notes are the hips/love handles, under the boobs, any ticklish spots on the bum/back, and of course thighs.
When she’s squirming whenever you pass over her clit as you move from leg to leg, when she’s looking at you with confusion as much as lust, that’s when you can move to the next step.
This can be as tricky as conducting an orchestra. It’s all about observation and timing. I’m not sure if you ever listen to classical music, I don’t really, but I know enough to make an analogy. The goal here is crescendo . It’s a point way, way out of your reach right now. With some girls, and maybe with the assistance of toys (Hitachi Magic Wand, anyone), you could potentially reach this point just by lunging for it. The Blitzkunt approach has its uses and can be successful, but it’s risky.
No, you need to take advantage of a particular characteristic of the female orgasm: waves. Even the smallest stimulation, like gently/softly licking the clit, with the right timing and consistency can bring a huge orgasm. But, you need to gauge her clit’s sensitivity. This is crucial, because it will determine how you approach and eventually bring her to orgasm.
I’m going to go out on a limb and offer 3 general categories. These are by no means complete, and you may encounter some girls that fall outside of them, but I’m hoping you don’t and this guide works for you. There are hypersensitive clits, undersensitive clits, and pseudosensitive clits.
To classify your girlfriend’s clit, I suggest the “Surprise Lick test”. When you’re down between her legs, it’s a good idea to take a look around. It might make her self-conscious, but the idea that you’re looking at her and wanting her will drive her mad . Find the labia, and put the palm of your dominant hand on the mons pubis, so that the base of your thumb rests about a half-inch above the clitoral hood. This is easiest if she’s laying on her back, legs open and one over each of your shoulders. Also, leave the lights on. It’ll make your life easier.
Once you’ve got your hand placed, gently press down and upwards towards the bellybutton. You need to press down to generate enough friction to pull the skin with your hand, but not too much as to make her uncomfortable. As you pull the whole mons pubis back, if her legs are spread even 50º then you should see the clit. This is not an ideal position for it, because it’s extremely exposed and sensitive. But for the purposes of our test, moisten your tongue and lick it. Don’t give her any warning, just apply modest pressure with the top 1/2″ to 3/4″ of your tongue, and flick it as you lift off a second or two later.
If she screams, jumps off the bed, clamps her legs on your head, or otherwise freaks out, she’s either hypersensitive or pseudosensitive.
If she moans, gasps (but doesn’t twitch), or responds in a non-violent fashion, she could be undersensitive or pseudosensitive.
You’ll notice that pseudosensitive clits cross into both categories. It is my experience that some clits can be “teased” into hypersensitivity for a short duration, and similarly some clits can be “burned out” into a non-sensitive or blurry-clit-like state. Some girls describe this as a “pins and needles” feeling.
Repeat this test as many times as you can. Apologize in between, giggle, say you won’t do it again, grab on, and do it again. Then smother her thighs with kisses, and do it again. Repetition will yield definitive classification. Hypersensitive clits will elicit a more pronounced and violent response as the test is repeated. If this happens, abort testing when you think you’re going to get punched in the face. Undersensitive clits will never get past the moaning stage. The moaning might even die off, since they’re probably getting bored and you’re a one-trick-pony so far. Pseudosensitive clits should be getting consistently stronger, but not necessarily violent. These can be identified by gradually reducing the pressure used in the Lick test, to avoid over-stimulation.
Tells are the signs of impending orgasm. They range in magnitude and importance, but the two are rarely related. The loudest tells might be the least important. These are going to get thrown at you hard and fast, so you need to recognize the good ones.
You need to be aware of slowly-changing tell (like curling toes or a stiffening torso) as much as the instantaneous ones (like moans, twitches, gasps, etc).
A hypersensitive girl is likely familiar with her own orgasm. You need to throw something new at her to truly blow her mind: Don’t make her cum. Seriously. You know you can do it. She knows you can do it. Don’t. If you can, ask her to give you some feedback. My gf and I use a 1-10 system, nerdy, I know, but it works. I bring her as close to 10 as I can, and then stop. Or slow down. Or use less pressure. Or gently insert a moistened finger into her pussy, then two. (I find two to be the best here, almost universally). Believe it or not, this works as a distraction at first, and becomes an important tool later. The key is to identify the tells, accurately identify the point of orgasm, and ruin it. Softly, sweetly, gently, but this is what you’re doing. This will frustrate the living hell out of her, and she will likely be horny. Very horny. Begging and pouting horny. Ignore her. Whether they like it or not, the female body has the ability to generate massively powerful orgasms, as well as the ability to bring them to a screeching halt if conditions aren’t perfect (ever used the wrong name?). Use this to your advantage. Gentle biting, pinches, slaps (if she’s into that sort of thing) will cause a noticeable drop in tells, and are good for keeping her at the sub-orgasm threshold.
Undersensitive clits need a lot of work. Pack a lunch. If possible, convince your girlfriend to shave beforehand to make your stay as pleasant as possible. The keys to blowing this girl’s mind are timing and suction. Once you’ve thoroughly licked her pussylips (you have licked them haven’t you? Go on already!) and have given the clit and its hood some long, slow, high-pressure licks with your whole tongue, then gently pull back the mons pubis using the same method discussed in the Lick test, and suck on the clit with moistened lips. Make sure not to touch it with your teeth or any crusty/dry lip skin, or she may tear your scalp off. Variations in pressure as well as sucking-while-licking should improve bloodflow to the clit, and you should notice it swell a tiny bit and turn a brighter shade of pink. This should increase sensitivity at least to the point that it’s sensitive enough for the rest of this guide to work. Anytime you notice that she’s not responding to something that should work, use this, as well as nipple stimulation, massage, and sexy talk to get her revved up again.
Now, the hard work. Take a deep breath, arrange yourself in a position where you’re comfy and can breathe easily, and can lick her clit with your whole tongue with as little neck motion as possible. For those poor suckers whose girlfriend takes forever, I feel your pain. I’ve been there. Too bad, suck it up, she’ll probably swallow your load after this one, and even dinner at Applebee’s didn’t get you that far… (lol, long story)
Start with a simple 1-to-4 count, about 2 bps, and lick in time with the count in your head. Undersensitive girls need consistency to reach orgasm. Changing anything huge, such as the licking speed on her clit (which isn’t huge to you, but it is to her), will just throw on the brakes in a hurry, unless you do it right. If you’re consistent, you should see her relax, starting breathing deeper, and her face will go blank, with occasional twitch. This is what you should see. If she’s still tense, tell her she’s beautiful, try to encourage her. Remember, relaxation is key. If she’s got a worried look, back off, use less pressure. If she’s counting ceiling tiles, increase the pressure, or, pull the mons back like you did in the Lick test to expose the clit a little more. That should get her attention.
Once you are sure she’s taking deep, slow breaths, start gently dragging your fingertips over her extra-sensitive parts that you made a mental note of before. At the same time, pick up your speed a little bit. Never stop (unless you need to breathe) but it’s extremely important to keep consistent. She should be able to relax again, although not as much. You may notice a streak of concern or worry on her face, this is normal. Disguise any changes in speed or pressure with a physical distraction somewhere else. If you’re taking a breath, pinch her nipple. If you need to swallow, run her stomach gently.
At this point, moisten two fingers (index and middle) of your dominant hand and slide them inside her. You can use lube if you want, my gf is extra-wet so I don’t particularly need it. Make sure your nails are clipped, cuticles smooth and edges buffed, hands are cleaned, moisturized, and cleaned again, and (some people skip this part) you haven’t had any fingers in her bum. I know, I know, but I have to say it.
You should be able to push your fingers about halfway between the 2nd and 3rd knuckle without much difficulty, and then curl them back like you’re beckoning someone towards you. You should feel lots of smooth slimy bits, and one tough and not-so-smooth bit where your fingertips are. The flesh behind that ripply skin, between it and the pubic bone, is the G-spot. Push it. Like a doorbell. Ever primed a lawnmower? It’s something like that. Push, wait, push, wait, push, wait. It should start getting more inflated, and maybe a little fleshier. This is good, because she’s going to start writhing around and we need to be able to find it quickly.
At the same time as you put your fingers in, up the speed of your licking again. There should be all sorts of tells now. Arched back, heavy breathing, loud moaning, something showing escalation. DO NOT bring her to orgasm yet.
Pseudosensitive girls are a bit of an art to handle, orgasmically speaking. Their clits are confused and easy to scare, and something that stimulates them one minute many not the next. The trick is to follow the directions above as long as they work, and be ready to swap from one to another on the fly. You will notice, as you go, that little things (like grabbing her ass when you’re licking her hard or putting your non-dominant hand on her stomach when you’re fingering her deeply) will hold her in one state or another. These are especially important for the unpredictapussies, and will ultimately determine your success or failure. Again, make a mental note and save these for later, and use them to your advantage whenever you can.
Remember, the goal is to create waves . There will be times when you thought for sure you were going to make her cum, and she doesn’t. You probably tipped your hand too soon. Similarly, there will be times when she gets mad when you stop because you stopped after the orgasm started, and you didn’t take into account the “inertia” that the wave has. I find that trying to time my breathing with hers makes it easier for me to visualize how she’s doing, especially since her language skills deteriorate as we get closer and closer to 10…
I’ll make this last part easy to remember. Hold nothing back. It’s your call when to stop teasing and start chasing that big one, but you have to stack your hand. First of all, if you’ve been properly gauging her tells, you can only lick her very gently at this point, since you’ve been slowing down and reducing pressure to prevent her from orgasming. That denial mechanic is key. When you’ve decided to push her for it, wait until you interrupt her orgasm, and then surprise her by building speed much faster than she’s used to at this point. You should be applying as much pressure as you can with your tongue, and make deep, powerful, circular movements against her g-spot with your fingers. This should have a noticeable effect, to say the least. You should be able to maintain the orgasm long enough to look up and find her favorite spots that you made note of earlier. Very slowly and with enough pressure to leave a mark, drag your fingernails along her skin on these parts with your non-dominant hand. The combination of pleasure and pain should make her take a very deep breath at this point. If not, or if you want to make sure, ask her to take a deep breath for you. She won’t say no.
Again, consistency is key wherever possible. If you’re not scratching her ticklish spots, you should be licking her clit hard and fast. And fingering her strongly the whole time. If she’s trying to squirm away, hold her down. If she’s pushing down against you, push back twice as hard. If she complains that she’s going to pee, just ignore her or assure her that it’s her g-spot. You will see tightening, a building of pressure, you may even just feel it coming. When she cums, continue licking and fingering until she gets a little uncomfortable, and even then continue with reduced pressure. Insist that you keep going, because there may be another one right around the corner. She’ll tell you if there’s not after a minute or so. But it does feel good, so she probably won’t complain, either.
Think you’re done? If you want, you can have sex with her. She won’t really be able to form words, but I doubt she’d complain. I prefer to cuddle at this time, because I make my oral last into the hours. I’m fucking tired. The key is, don’t leave. Make sure you stay there while her brain chemistry is still reeling from the orgasm. It will create an improved sense of bonding and may help you get out of shit later. Which, of course, is why I’m assuming you want to learn how to give good oral in the first place…
So that’s all the major points I had, feel free to offer criticisms, comments, or ask for my number if you feel orally repressed…
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Pussy Eating 101: How to Give Good Oral Sex to Someone With a Vulva
There are tons of guides and classes out there on giving blowjobs , but cunnilingus just doesn’t get the same amount of attention. This is unfortunate, because around three quarters of vulva owners need clitoral stimulation to consistently orgasm, and oral sex is one highly effective way to provide that.
Some people are intimidated by eating pussy, but you don’t have to go nuts with your technique — it’s actually pretty simple. Here are some ways to give great head to someone with a vulva.
The clitoris gets engorged and becomes more accessible when someone is aroused , so you want to make sure your partner is excited before you even go down there. Spend time playing with your partner’s breasts, kissing their inner thighs, and doing other things to build up the anticipation as much as possible. Make them ache for it.
Some people think eating pussy means getting all fancy and putting your tongue in the vagina or all over different parts of the vulva. You can do a little bit of that to tease your partner in the beginning, but for the most part, you’re going to want to focus on the clitoris. For those who don’t know, the clitoris is right at the top of the vulva , above where the labia meet.
For most vulvas, at least the top portion of the clitoris is covered by a piece of skin called the clitoral hood. Many people will feel more sensation if you get below the clitoral hood, directly on the clitoris itself. You can usually do this by licking upward from right below the clitoris. However, for others, the clitoris is too sensitive for direct contact, so gauge your partner’s reaction. You can even try it both ways and ask what they prefer.
Again, you don’t need to get too fancy and recite the alphabet or anything. A good bread-and-butter move is to flick your tongue repeatedly up and down over the clitoris. You can ask your partner if they want you to switch anything up. Otherwise, consistency is key, so just keep doing what you’re doing.
If your mouth gets tired, that’s no excuse to stop — it’s just an invitation to take over with your hands for a bit. Rubbing the clitoral hood from right to left or in circles is usually a good bet. Then, once you’ve recovered, dive back in.
You can also get your hands involved while you’re going down on someone by putting a finger or two into the vagina and pressing upward. Sometimes, just having the finger in there is enough to intensify the sensation, while some may prefer you move it in a come-hither motion. Find out what your partner prefers and do it.
Too often, people think of oral sex as just a warmup for intercourse — something to do until your partner is wet and ready for penetration. But having someone stop in the middle of oral sex can actually be very physically frustrating. Remember, most people with vulvas don’t consistently orgasm through intercourse, so if you want them to orgasm, it’s best to take care of them beforehand. If it doesn’t seem like what you’re doing is building toward a climax, ask your partner for feedback and adjust accordingly . You’ve got a job to do, so unless told otherwise, don’t quit until it’s done.
Oh, and if your partner says “don’t stop,” don’t. Stop.
Suzannah Weiss is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, New York Magazine, and elsewhere. She writes and speaks about gender and sexuality and coaches people on having better sex. She is a certified sex educator and studied Cognitive Neuroscience, Gender and Sexuality, and Modern Culture and Media at Brown Univ
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