Pussy Flavor

Pussy Flavor

By
Lorenzo Jensen III ,
August 31st 2016

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“On a bad day, it’s like a third armpit.”
“Like a 9v battery. I’m serious. Not quite so shocking, though.”
“One of my old boyfriends swore that the closest taste he could compare it to was duck sauce. Yes. From Chinese restaurants.”
“Feels like a warm handshake from the president of the United States…tastes like watery sauerkraut.”
“It smells like the sea, or like a fresh clam, it can taste bitter and sometimes like nothing at all.”
“I think it tastes like Sea Salt and Vinegar potato chips.”
“I liken a woman’s taste, at the point of orgasm, to biting into a warm tomato, fresh picked, while standing in the garden, on an August afternoon.”
“Tangy like bleu cheese. Slippery like okra. Musky like bourbon. Fun like an arcade.”
“Peachy salad dressing would be the best I could come up with. Tangy, and just a little sweet. The texture is very velvety and soft between the inner labia and generally y’know, skin-like, on the outer labia.”
“Buttered toast. But it also varies, sometimes like lemon tart.”
“Fishy if she hasn’t washed. Wet and slightly metallic if she has.”
“Tastes like a sweat-covered barbell.”
“It’s mayo and ketchup mixed together. Try it.”
“Have you ever eaten mashed potatoes? There you go…”
“Tastes like licking a penny, or if they’re closer to their period, a nickel.”
“Things that remind me of that taste:
• Lindemans Pêche Lambic
• Mussels in White Wine
• Oysters on the Half Shell (the sweeter ones, usually but sometimes the saltier/brinier ones)
• Lamb.”
“It’s gross, I had a girl (she was 35 and I was 25) basically sit on my face and rub her pussy in my face and it was awful, I got all this… bodily fluid…on me and it smelled like body odor. I don’t think I’ll ever be going down on another girl, unless I really really love her (and she has good hygiene). I don’t like receiving oral sex either, so it may just be a ‘thing’ with me…vaginas are gross and ugly; so are penises, they’re all gross and ugly.”
“Sometimes it is like pineapple; and some other times like onion; but it is different from girl to girl; and the smell is also different.”
“An ex once brought it to my attention that I tasted exactly like cheeseburgers.
Thankfully, he liked cheeseburgers.”
I was drinking a can of V8 the other day, and about 10 minutes after I finished, I realized that the aftertaste was reminiscent of vagina, so there you go.”
“Have you ever bitten your lip and gotten a little bit of blood in your mouth? It’s got a very distinct taste. Even when a woman isn’t on her period, there’s always a hint of that flavor, among all the others.”
“There is most certainly a racial/cultural/diet element to it.
If you have noticed the different body smell of East Asians, Caucasians, and South Asians, well, the nether regions taste like that, just more so….
Caucasian vaginas have that milky/buttery note. Central Asians have a slightly muttony/gamy taste.
South Asians are tangy and spicy…mmmm…
I’m getting hungry, I could really go for some juicy vagina right now.”
“I’ve been with 3 different women of Puerto Rican descent, and they all tasted vaguely of onions. Not unpleasantly so, but there was definitely an onion thing going on down there.”
“I always thought they had sort of a lemony taste.”
“Musky or slightly fermented honey.”
“I have, on more than one occasion, noted a hint of something that was slightly like cumin. Which is great for both me and her, because I love cumin. I would categorize this flavor under ‘musky,’ but there are other elements, as well: salty, slightly tangy (I think lime comes somewhat close; I don’t buy the battery thing), and mildly buttery.
To my tastebuds, this is a very fine and most enjoyable combination.”
“There’s a reason it tastes a little like a bitten lip—the liquid is blood that has been filtered by the inner walls of the vagina—so it is clear and slick—and delicious. It’s blood-light, for the vampire in us.”
“Like the inside of an elbow smells.”
“Musky/salty/sweaty/meaty. Basically, like licking an armpit. But in a good way.”
“Pennies is a metallic taste, is a blood taste. It can taste sour like salad dressing (vinegar) based on pH. I think that it varies even with the same person. But really not much taste after the initial.”
“I’ve heard a lot of descriptions—chicken, fish, etc. That’s all bullshit. If you wanna know what it tastes like, stick your tongue in the small of your underarm after a mild workout. That’s the smell and the taste! The moistness, the sickly sweetness of sweat, the mild metallic taste, even the way it looks when it’s unshaved—it’s just like pussy.”
“It’s been my experience that most vaginas are thick and salty tasting. My personal favorite. The second type to of vagina produces a thick clear fluid. It’s clean and odorless like the first till dry, then it produces a light vanilla smell. Loaded with pheromones, they are intoxicating to males. Oil glands can be found all over the body but those in the pubic region fuse their scent to pubic hairs. A second pheromone that when combined with vaginal fluid, can produce a most unwanted affect. The continuous undeterred affection, or pursuit of a unwanted one-time lover, or former spouse. This also explains the vanilla perfume craze of the previous three years. I’m so very happy not to sample the odor of well-groomed…
The third and final flavor of healthy vagina is a lightly pungent taste and tangy smell. This type of vagina will produce a fishy smell after a vigorous day of sex….”
“It tastes like tuna and feels like a bowl of salt and vinegar chips. Sometimes vice-versa.”
“Inside of your cheek is a pretty good way to describe it. Imagine a tight and firm entrance but once inside it’s pretty close to two cheeks pressed firmly together. The taste, on the other hand…leaves something to be desired. Tastes like what you would think an open slit between a girl’s legs would taste like. Like an open wound without the blood (hopefully without the blood). One that sweats every day and expels dead eggs every month, pee also comes from the same area and surely runs through the money pit.”
It tastes like animals fucking somewhere in the woods under a full moon.
It tastes like want and desire poured over warm skin, something rough, something soft, something salty.
And of course if you’re in love, it tastes like a secret door that is open, where everything that is good in the world is hidden.
You taste wine or meat or cheese, but when you mouth is between her legs, there’s a different kind of hunger that taste doesn’t cover.”
“I have tasted a fair few and the general consensus I can give to you through my experiences is most women taste a little salty down there (much like sweat) and the aroma is musky with the slight scent of body odor!
Though my description doesn’t make it sound all that appealing, trust me, it is….Remember we are human beings and deep down we work on the same instincts (Males are attracted to female pheromones and vice-versa)…
Personally I enjoy going down on a girl that I’m with and it’s not weird for me at all. All he has to do is basically tickle/massage your clit with his tongue and lips for you to feel pleasure from this experience; it’s not as if he has to bury his mouth deep into your pussy and never come out for air…
Of course diet and hygiene plays a huge part with how you both smell and taste down there, so just like men can drink pineapple to make their cum taste sweeter, there are similar methods for the girls.
So tell your man to either get over it or go and find yourself a new one who will satisfy your needs.
I know it’s a major turnoff when a girl won’t go down on me so I can see why this is a problem for you.”
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I Tried 5 Different Foods To See If They Made My Vagina Taste Different
My boyfriend was more than happy to be my official taste tester.
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Getty Images / Animation by Jocelyn Runice
While there are no valid scientific studies on how to change the taste of your vagina , it certainly doesn't stop people from speculating. The rumors are legion: Does garlic make it taste strange? What about asparagus, probably the most well-known pee odor-changer out there? And does pineapple really sweeten the pot?
Let's get one thing clear: As long as you're healthy, your vagina smells and tastes perfectly fine. It's not supposed to smell like roses or taste like candy. The only time for concern is when it smells "fishy" or otherwise unpleasant, because that can hint at bacterial vaginosis , trichomoniasis , or some other health issue. (See your gynecologist if that happens.) Women should smell like women—maybe a little salty, maybe a little sweet, but always with our own unique, indescribable aroma.
Yet many women fixate on the look, feel, and smell of their private parts. Even comedian Amy Schumer has touched on the topic. On an Inside Amy Schumer segment from April of this year, she did a skit about "Yo-Puss," a magical (fictional) yogurt that "makes your pussy taste like nothing."
I embarked on a two-week culinary cunnilingus adventure, taking my boyfriend of two and a half months (let's call him John) along for the ride. I loaded up on four foods—and one remarkable tablet, more on that later—rumored to change the vagina's taste and/or smell, then had John go down on me to test each one out. All for the sake of science, of course. (While we’re on the subject, a note on the experiment: No, we didn’t use rigorous scientific methods, and, yes, my boyfriend knew when I’d eaten what foods, so that might have influenced his opinions.)
My quest to determine whether the things you eat can really change your vagina wasn't about vaginas being unacceptable as they are—again, there's no need for healthy women to change the taste or smell down there. It was more about finding out whether there's any truth to all this vaginal hearsay. Here's what I discovered.
Before I conducted my first taste test, I consulted with San Francisco-based gynecologist and author Jen Gunter, M.D., and asked her if there was any reason to believe pineapple would work. "The urban myth is that pineapple can change vaginal odor, but there are no studies to prove this and no science behind it," Gunter tells SELF.
Duly noted. But I ate a pound of pineapple chunks and downed six ounces of pineapple juice anyway to figure it out on my own. I waited two hours, hoping that was enough time for it to get under my skin, then invited my boyfriend over for a little playtime.
As his tongue was furiously doing the ABCs (my favorite oldie-but-goodie technique for clitoral stimulation ), I was anxious for results.
" Well, what do I taste like?!" I asked, kind of ruining the mood.
John mumbled something I couldn't decipher.
He came up for air for a second to say, "Uh, no..."
"Does it smell like pineapple? Take a deep breath in! Really get in there and smell it!"
Barking out orders in bed might not be the sexiest way to conduct this experiment, but I was on a mission...and a deadline.
Trooper that he is, John went back down, followed my orders, popped back up, and replied, "You just taste and smell the same?" After more prodding, he said I tasted and smelled like "nothing."
Determined to find a food that would make me taste like something , we moved on to a more flavorful pick.
I had so much hope. Gunter said that garlic-derived metabolites could change the odor of breast milk , so it's likely the same reason some people may feel they smell differently after eating garlic.
John and I headed to a little Italian bistro and asked the waitress to double the garlic on all of our dishes. We could see the garlic chunks on the garlic bread, penne checca (penne pasta, tomato, garlic, and basil), and pan-fried potatoes with garlic and parsley. We could also smell it on our hands right away.
After conducting the pineapple experiment like a dictator, I decided to take a different route and make this taste test more fun. After eating, I gave John a little striptease and decided to taste test him first. He didn't taste like garlic, nor did his semen . Neither did I. We tested it again the next morning with zero change. "You still taste like nothing," he said. "Seriously?" I asked. "Yep, nothing." Next!
Since the food taste test wasn't delivering exceptional results at this point, we decided to try these Mberry "miracle fruit tablets" that claim to "transform ordinary foods into the extraordinary." You dissolve one tablet on your tongue and, thanks to a taste-modifying molecule called miraculin , any sour foods you eat suddenly taste sweet.
Before we tried it out on my V, we tried it with a lemon and glass of wine first just to see if it worked. It did! It made the lemon taste like very sugary lemonade, and my dry and oaky cabernet sauvignon turned into a sickeningly sweet fruity dessert wine .
Next on the menu? Vagina! After a 20-minute walk home from the wine bar, John popped another Mberry, let it fully dissolve, and went down on me. Within a few minutes, he stopped what he was doing and said, "This is crazy. You taste like SweeTARTS. It's like candy. It's summery. It's like paradise! Usually after a long walk, you'd taste salty. This is crazy!" **
Since asparagus is proven to cause smelly urine , how could it not do the same for your vag? Well, it does. I ate 10 ounces of steamed asparagus with a little cracked pepper and lemon juice, and 20 minutes later, we hit the sheets. Within a minute of investigation, John declared, "You taste very green...very, very green. It's like a mix of asparagus and grass. It's not really pleasant," he said.
Like garlic, curry seems to stick to your skin when you cook or eat it. As I ate about a cup and a half each of mixed vegetable curry and chana saagwala (spinach, garbanzo beans, and curry spices), I found this to be oh so true. But John didn't smell or taste it on my vagina ...at least not that night.
When we went for round two the next morning, the curry certainly made my cooch a little fragrant. "It's not good, but it's tolerable. It's a little on the funky side. There's definitely a whiff of curry, and curry isn't really a great smell anyway, and it tastes saltier." He continued: "Salty isn't bad, it's just a stronger smell."
Sometimes at the beginning of a relationship —especially given that we've only been dating a few months—there are a lot of wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am quickies. That can be hot, but it can also mean you don't take time to fully savor each other. This experiment got to us to go slowly, explore each other with more purpose, and it also taught us to talk about sex. Even if every food had made my vagina taste like "nothing," that would be worth it.
Ultimately, John said, "I really don't care what you smell or taste like anyway." And that's the way it should be, because anyone who has a problem with a vagina's natural smell or taste shouldn't really have access to vaginas. After this experience, I can quite safely say John's not just a trooper, but also a keeper.
You may also like: Try These 8 Things To Have Better Orgasms
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