Puberty Nudity

Puberty Nudity

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Emily Edlynn, Ph.D., is the author of The Art and Science of Mom parenting blog and the upcoming parenting book Parenting for Autonomy. She is a mother of three from Oak Park, Illinois and a clinical psychologist in private practice who specializes in working with children and adolescents.
I have boy/girl 9-year-old twins. My daughter has started showing signs of puberty but is happy with her body. They tend to goof off while getting naked before taking separate showers. I feel at this point it's time for them to not be naked together but they seem fine about it. Is it me? What age should they not be showing themselves to each other & how do I do it without creating body shame?

I applaud you for starting from a point of addressing your children's changing bodies in a positive way. You recognize that your daughter is happy with her body, and we know the long road girls and women face with body image and all the risky social and cultural messages surrounding female bodies. It can be tricky for adults more versed in sexuality to view nudity very differently from how our children do. We know the sexual implications of how bodies are shown and used, and we want to be careful about how we project this onto children to avoid unintentionally sexualizing bodies when they don't need to be.

When it comes to their bodies, it's ideal to allow children to take the lead on what feels natural to them around covering up and having privacy. Some children may need some coaching around refraining from running around the streets pantsless, but most really do come to a natural body awareness and new desire for privacy in an appropriate time frame. In terms of seeing each other naked, it sounds like neither of your 9-year-old twins has reached a point of discomfort, yet. For your peace of mind, there is no expert consensus on an age limit that you have missed! Think through some of the following considerations for next steps.

The concept of sex differences has deservedly received a lot of scientific debate, and it's important to tease apart socially constructed ideas of gender versus actual gender differences. However, biologically, boys reach puberty later than girls. So, your daughter will have to be the one charting the course for her brother. She will likely come to the realization before he does that it feels strange to be around each other naked. Although he needs to be part of dealing with this dilemma, your daughter is the sensible starting point.

It matters where your daughter is with understanding and accepting her stage of puberty. Changing bodies can create all kinds of confusing and conflicting emotions, including wanting to stay young and childlike. It would be interesting to hear from your daughter what it feels like to her to start these changes, especially because her brother likely hasn't yet. Is still playing with her brother before showers a part of wanting to not feel different about her changing body?

My psychologist brain may be analyzing way more than is actually there, and of course I have never met your daughter, but it can be helpful to at least consider the emotional experience of puberty and how this may be influencing behaviors.

In your mission to not impose a feeling of embarrassment about her body on your daughter, approach your conversations with her from an angle that helps her come to her own conclusions. Instead of a "don't be naked in front of each other" talk, The Body Talk is about more than puberty and physical changes. It's about how we care for our bodies, and how others may see or treat our bodies in healthy and unhealthy ways.

Each family has its own values guiding how they approach talking to children about their bodies, but sex is invariably part of this conversation, whether implied or directly discussed. Research shows key aspects of having this conversation, including the importance of using the right words for anatomy, not cutesy nicknames or euphemisms, and making sure to address the concept of autonomy over one's body.

In the broader parenting pursuit of doing our part to help our children develop positive relationships with their bodies, a critical component is teaching them that they have control over their own bodies. With this in mind, you don't want to unintentionally convey that you have control over her body with a direct command to not be naked in front of her brother. (You already know this since you are bringing up the question and haven't done that already!)

Control cannot be discussed without consent, and this is where your son needs to participate in the conversation. Many people think about consent as something we need to teach our daughters, but it's equally important to discuss with our sons. With your 9-year-olds, ensure that if either one tells the other to "stop" any sort of physical contact (wrestling, tickling), this is respected. The same goes for their play before showers. As soon as one feels at all uncomfortable, they should be able to say it and have their wish respected. You can explicitly let both of them know this is the family rule, giving them permission to say, "I'm not comfortable."

Laying this groundwork for how consent works within your own family not only helps them find their boundaries as siblings, but will serve them in navigating relationships outside of the family.

Addressing these issues underlying the innocent behavior of naked goofing off will give your 9-year-old twins the tools to make their own decisions. Healthy dialogue will lay the foundation for your children to have a positive relationship with their bodies and to feel truly in charge of themselves.

Submit your parenting questions here , and they may be answered in future 'Ask Your Mom' columns.

Emily Edlynn, Ph.D., is the author of The Art and Science of Mom parenting blog and a mother of three from Oak Park, Illinois. She is a clinical psychologist in private practice who specializes in working with children and adolescents.

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Hi I am 18 and a very late bloomer who is just starting puberty, is anyon else or any advice to nudity and puberty

Originally posted by youngnudist5

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Hi I am 18 and a very late bloomer who is just starting puberty, is anyon else or any advice to nudity and puberty

Originally posted by youngnudist5

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Hi I am 18 and a very late bloomer who is just starting puberty, is anyon else or any advice to nudity and puberty

Last edited by ; 08-14-2010, 11:20 PM .

Life is about pursuing naked truth.

Originally posted by youngnudist5

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Hi I am 18 and a very late bloomer who is just starting puberty, is anyon else or any advice to nudity and puberty

Originally posted by sunnysmile_fl

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Hi youngnudist 5, and welcome to the forums.

I think you're making a very important and beneficial step for yourself in addressing this issue, and your bravery of coming to the forums and addressing it with us represents a good amount of self-confidence on your part.

I don't think anyone should have to worry much about the latecoming of puberty, it's more of a matter of self-acceptance, and nudism is a great way where folks can discover a greater sense of self-acceptance as well as acceptance of others, globally. Here is one place where you can relax and be yourself without worry of being judged.

I'm new to this forum too, but please stick around and perhaps some of our more experienced members can chime in here too and offer their thoughts, inspirations and advice.
Anybody around my age can send messages. Check my profile for contact info.

Re: Puberty

Just let it happen. It happens to everyone. There may be specific changed you have your friends won't but it's all natural so don't worry about it and put it out of your mind.

Just let it all hang out.... It just means you're becoming sexually mature aka people will notice u more... My entire family watched hair grow on my ***** and it was actually kinda cool fr

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This sex education film provides the expected information for youth entering puberty (see keywords), but does so in an explicit manner. There are no innocuous line drawings but rather abunda... Read all This sex education film provides the expected information for youth entering puberty (see keywords), but does so in an explicit manner. There are no innocuous line drawings but rather abundant nudity. This sex education film provides the expected information for youth entering puberty (see keywords), but does so in an explicit manner. There are no innocuous line drawings but rather abundant nudity.
Very much OK amateur ducumentary video
movie Seksuele Voorlichting The Belgian 1991 video Seksuele Voorlichting is a pretty good production for an amateur crew and an all-amateur cast.
The setting is a "normal" family. The minors show what needs to be shown, and do not engage in sexual intercourse of any kind. Another reviewer blames the makers of this film for not presenting the children as immaculate lilies, a silly rebuke since children are sexual beings from the very start, masturbating in the womb before they are born.
The topics are presented one after the other: anatomy, function, wet dream, masturbation, menstruation, hygiene, playing doctor, falling in love, kissing.
The demonstration of reproductive sex with full penetration is done by an adult couple, with no minors present.
There is no plot, so this review cannot have any spoilers. There is hardly any acting. The video is a simple straightforward documentary. The music I find dull.
There is no brilliant camera work. There are no special effects. These elements are not lacking; they are not needed. Any filmish showing off would just distract. There is no hip hyperactive presenter who says and does crazy things.
I find the video fully OK in its genre, and give it eight stars out of ten: one off for imperfect editing here and there, and one off for the choice of music.
I close with a warning: when the grownup daughter who has left the house comes in with her partner announcing they are going to have a baby, the happy news is celebrated with alcoholic drinks of which the pregnant daughter has one. This is a no-no! Pregnant women should not take any alcohol: it's bad for the unborn child. That should be part of the sexual education of the teenage audience that the film aims at. It's the only thing I find seriously wrong with the video.
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Home > Firangi > 12 Of The Most Shocking Puberty Customs From Around The World

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Coming of age is welcomed in different ways and manners all around the world. While for some people it may mean a celebration of an age which legalizes them to certain activities, for others it is nothing less than a living nightmare.
Here are some of the weirdest and most terrifying puberty customs from around the world:
As gross as it sounds, boys of Etoro tribe of Papua New Guinea are famous among anthropologists for their ritual homosexual acts, including drinking their elders' sperm to accomplish maturity and to enhance their status as true men. This tribe strongly believes that the vitality of machismo and the real power of man lies in the semen of an elder.
Although it is more prevalent in Somalia and Egypt , girls mainly in African and middle eastern countries face merciless genital mutilation which literally implies sealing the vagina. This is done to prevent any possible sexual indulgence by a girl as the virgin's seal is broken only on the night of consummation by the husband.
Under the Menses rituals of Uaupes, Brazil, girls are brought out naked on the streets and are beaten to death or unconsciousness. If the girls still wake up after this callous treatment, they are considered womanly and worthy of marriage.
Boys of the Barabaig tribe in East Africa, on reaching puberty have to get their heads shaved and their faces scarred for life. The scars, also known as gar, are a sign of true manhood and they have to wear it with pride.
Under the puberty custom of the Louiseno Indian tribe, young boys have to undergo a painful rite of lying on a bed of red ants. During this vile procedure, these young boys are recognized as men only if they do not express their pain or burn in misery.
Considered as one of the most painful rites in the world, Australian Aboriginal boys, on reaching puberty have to get their penises pierced at the base. This is done to practice the birth control ritual in the tribe. After the procedure, it makes it difficult for the male to procreate without anyone's assistance.
Boys of the Amazon's Satere-Mawe tribe, on coming of age have to ritually wear gloves full of bullet ants to prove their power of masculinity to the tribe. Participants may experience partial paralysis and numbness. But the rite isn't over there. Boys have to go through the ordeal at least 20 times over a period of months or even years.
Boys in the highlands of Papua New Guinea have to undergo a blood filtration rite under the tribe's puberty laws and customs. This is done to separate their blood from their mother's blood and includes blood drainage through atrocious methods like shoving canes through their throats or putting reeds up their nostrils.
In Bali, Indonesia all the adolescent girls and boys have to necessarily get their upper canines filled even with the upper incisors. This is performed as a purification rite because teeth in Bali are considered as a strong sign of evil, lust, anger and greed.
In Paraguay and Brazil, girls who come of age have to get extensive tattoos on their bodies mainly on their stomachs, breasts and backs. This painful procedure is not considered as a form of physical suffering but rather a sign of sexual attractiveness in women.
One of the most peculiar traditions of all, boys of South Pacific Vanatu on reaching puberty have to pass an extremely reckless test of masculinity. They are stripped naked and pushed off a 100 ft tall wall, their safety secured only with a vine. Talk about taking the leap into manhood.
Boys of Algonquin Indian Tribe on coming of age are caught in a cage and are intoxicated using hallucinogens and a dangerous drug called wysoccan. All this is done to blow away the memories of childhood and the child-like innocence from the boy and also to ensure his masculine prowess.
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