Puberty Nudist
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Puberty Nudist
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When your 10-year-old screams from the bathroom that they need your help right now, you moan and grumble to yourself that you thought potty training was supposed to free you from these particular shackles. What you don’t do is assume that they’re about to ask you if they can shave off all their pubic hair .
Welcome to the new world order, where pediatricians are now seeing girls who’ve just hit puberty grooming their nether regions. The docs say younger girls are being pushed to go bare because of social media, peer pressure and even internet porn .
But before you start locking down all your kid’s gadgets, let me offer up a slightly less terrifying scenario, courtesy of my own bathroom.
A new survey shows that 62 percent of women prefer to completely remove their pubic hair, while 84 percent say they do at least some grooming. I fall into camp two, someone who has trimmed the bush for years. We have a relatively open-door bathroom policy in our house, and my 10-year-old has walked in on me ‘scaping the pubes a few times over the years.
So when I got that scream from across the house, “Mom, can I get rid of my pubic hair?” wasn’t totally off-the-wall.
Her hair had been filling in slowly for more than a year and had now reached a point where it was poking out all sides of her underwear. Her request was simple: “Can I shave this?” she asked, pointing at her naked (hair-covered) crotch.
Of course I launched into a litany of reasons that it’s perfectly normal, and she shouldn’t feel like she has to get rid of it, and no one should be seeing that part of her body right now but her and blah, blah, blah, insert droning mom voice here. That part wasn’t new to her; she has several puberty books on her shelves , and I’d explained what pubic hair is the first time she found me trimming.
Her response was pretty much, “Yeah, I know, so, uh, can we talk about shaving now?”
This was not going away. So I asked the obvious question: “Why do you want to shave it?”
“It feels weird,” was the answer, “and it gets stuck in my underwear.”
Hard to argue with that. It’s exactly why I trim — well, that and the fact that long curlies getting stuck in the adhesive on the underside of a light-day pad is pure hell. And while I don’t remember much about being her age, I do remember it being really freakin’ weird to have my body changing in a million ways that I couldn’t control.
This was not to make her look like something out of a porno flick. This was not because of social media or her peers. This was because she’s a kid who is being made uncomfortable by something that doesn’t need to make her uncomfortable.
The first time, I did the shaving to teach her how it’s done. Heeding the warnings that kids tend to get infections from shaving because they’re not terribly good at it, I then picked up a grooming kit that was less than $25, with both an adjustable blade and a guard. She hasn’t gotten to the point where she’s asked to shave again — nor am I pushing her to do it again — but if she does, I’ll be teaching her how to use the kit.
Because growing up is hard. If I can make it just a little bit easier, I will.
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When your 10-year-old screams from the bathroom that they need your help right now, you moan and grumble to yourself that you thought potty training was supposed to free you from these particular shackles. What you don’t do is assume that they’re about to ask you if they can shave off all their pubic hair .
Welcome to the new world order, where pediatricians are now seeing girls who’ve just hit puberty grooming their nether regions. The docs say younger girls are being pushed to go bare because of social media, peer pressure and even internet porn .
But before you start locking down all your kid’s gadgets, let me offer up a slightly less terrifying scenario, courtesy of my own bathroom.
A new survey shows that 62 percent of women prefer to completely remove their pubic hair, while 84 percent say they do at least some grooming. I fall into camp two, someone who has trimmed the bush for years. We have a relatively open-door bathroom policy in our house, and my 10-year-old has walked in on me ‘scaping the pubes a few times over the years.
So when I got that scream from across the house, “Mom, can I get rid of my pubic hair?” wasn’t totally off-the-wall.
Her hair had been filling in slowly for more than a year and had now reached a point where it was poking out all sides of her underwear. Her request was simple: “Can I shave this?” she asked, pointing at her naked (hair-covered) crotch.
Of course I launched into a litany of reasons that it’s perfectly normal, and she shouldn’t feel like she has to get rid of it, and no one should be seeing that part of her body right now but her and blah, blah, blah, insert droning mom voice here. That part wasn’t new to her; she has several puberty books on her shelves , and I’d explained what pubic hair is the first time she found me trimming.
Her response was pretty much, “Yeah, I know, so, uh, can we talk about shaving now?”
This was not going away. So I asked the obvious question: “Why do you want to shave it?”
“It feels weird,” was the answer, “and it gets stuck in my underwear.”
Hard to argue with that. It’s exactly why I trim — well, that and the fact that long curlies getting stuck in the adhesive on the underside of a light-day pad is pure hell. And while I don’t remember much about being her age, I do remember it being really freakin’ weird to have my body changing in a million ways that I couldn’t control.
This was not to make her look like something out of a porno flick. This was not because of social media or her peers. This was because she’s a kid who is being made uncomfortable by something that doesn’t need to make her uncomfortable.
The first time, I did the shaving to teach her how it’s done. Heeding the warnings that kids tend to get infections from shaving because they’re not terribly good at it, I then picked up a grooming kit that was less than $25, with both an adjustable blade and a guard. She hasn’t gotten to the point where she’s asked to shave again — nor am I pushing her to do it again — but if she does, I’ll be teaching her how to use the kit.
Because growing up is hard. If I can make it just a little bit easier, I will.
Before you go, check out our slideshow below:
The stories you care about, delivered daily.
SheKnows is a part of Penske Media Corporation. © 2022 SheMedia, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Part of HuffPost Parenting. ©2022 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.
I have no qualms walking around in the buff in front of my daughters. And they do the same with me. We even take showers together if we´re pressed for time. My girls are now 14 and 11, but we've taken baths together since they were born.
Founder of VivaFifty.com, author and speaker
Jul 28, 2015, 06:08 PM EDT | Updated Dec 6, 2017
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.
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Founder of VivaFifty.com, author and speaker
I have no qualms walking around in the buff in front of my daughters. And they do the same with me. We even take showers together if we´re pressed for time. My girls are now 14 and 11, but we've taken baths together since they were born.
I was raised in a country (Spain) where nudity in beaches and pools is normal.
This doesn´t mean we'd do it just anywhere. Now that we're a blended family and because we live in the U.S., I tell my girls to cover up when walking around the house, and of course I do the same. There is such a thing as common sense. If I were with my father-in-law or with my husband's employer, of course I would wear a top.
Otherwise, I'm happy to report my girls and I are comfortable enough with our bodies that, given the chance, we´ll quickly undress and enjoy a wonderful sense of freedom. If we had the chance to lounge around in a beach in Europe we'd be quite comfortable going topless. Heck, I even sleep naked if I can.
In Spain you can see toddlers running around the beach naked and nobody bats an eye. Girls don't wear bikini tops until they really need to, for support, and maybe not even then. Are there oglers and rapists behind a bush ready to pounce? Well no, not really. I mean, I´m sure men look, but when there are so many breasts to gaze at, it´s just not that big of a deal.
The human body is a beautiful thing, and yes, there is a time and place for everything. But breastfeeding in public or baring your breasts at the beach doesn´t need to be sexualized. In Scandinavia families hang out together, naked, in the sauna or the jacuzzi.
Photo: My daughter at 5, feeling carefree at the beach © Lorraine C. Ladish
My eldest was very aware of this difference between Spain and the United States even as a little girl. So up until she started puberty, she wore her hair in a bob and went to the beach or the pool wearing boy´s swimming trunks. Most of the time she'd be mistaken for a boy, but sometimes people asked. I would say, yeah, she's a girl. Or maybe she'd answer herself. She was, of course, as flat-chested as a boy. This deal of wearing swimming trunks all came about after she was told at four years old, to wear a top at a public pool. At four!
I remember asking the pool manager why my daughter had to cover up because she didn´t even have breasts! He said it was a rule. Well, unless you find a way around it, when in Rome. Well, I'm glad my daughter did find a way around it: boy's swimming trunks. For that, I'm proud of her.
What´s your take on nudity around your children?
This post originally appeared on BabyCenter en español .
Founder of VivaFifty.com , author and speaker
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