Puberty Naked

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Puberty Naked
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I grew up with a lot of shame around nudity and sex.
They've never seen me naked, but we have a transparent and open relationship.
I was first taught to feel shameful about nudity before I was old enough for kindergarten. It was at the babysitter, where four of us — two boys and two girls — were in the back playroom. Our in-home care provider was in the kitchen prepping a snack. A few minutes later, she returned to find us gathered around one pantsless playmate, examining what made our bodies different.
Yelling and threats of spankings ensued, and I learned a valuable lesson: Nakedness was wrong.
Growing up in a conservative small town in the 1990s and attending an evangelical church meant I was also inundated with purity culture.
Some of my good friends wore purity rings, and we all took abstinence pledges on numerous occasions. While not all of those lessons stuck, the residual shame did.
Paired with the earlier babysitter incident, purity culture left me with a deep embarrassment at being seen naked, seeing others naked, and daring to think about sex.
Now that I'm a mom to two teenage boys, I'm working on not passing on my shame to them, while also having open and honest conversations about our bodies.
In college, I shared bedrooms and bathrooms with numerous roommates. There, I was quick to wrap myself in a towel when exiting the shower and made sure the door was shut tightly before changing. Any other activities requiring nudity happened with the lights off — and alcohol and a lot of shame.
This translated to marriage in a similar way. Sex only in the dark, back turned when I put on my bra, and a locked door when I showered. Learning to be comfortable with my own and my husband's nudity took time.
After almost 18 years of marriage, I can now change in front of my husband. While I find the human body beautiful and miraculous, parts of it still weird me out. His upbringing was starkly different from mine, so this discomfort required patience on his end.
It comes as no surprise, then, that when we became parents 10 years ago, I had no desire to wander around the house without clothes.
Our sons were adopted at ages 7 and 8, and initially, we were strangers to them. So my "no nudity" policy made sense. Like my college days, I either changed in the bathroom or exited with a towel around me. This time my roommates were my elementary-age sons, not fellow coeds.
I've worked hard not to pass my childhood shame onto my sons, so we've talked openly about our bodies and consent from day one.
In our early days as a family, when our sons weren't interested in hugging strangers, we didn't make them.
We taught them early on to knock before entering our bedroom or bathroom, and we've reciprocated that boundary for them. Teenage boys don't want their parents barging into their bedrooms either.
We've had similarly open conversations about puberty and sex, the types of talks neither my husband nor I remember having with our parents. We've talked about asking permission for any kind of physical activity with a partner and the dangers of adding too much alcohol to those situations.
And while these discussions initially made me uncomfortable and reminded me of my past shame about nudity and sex, they became easier with time, creating an openness with my sons I'm grateful for today.
So, no, my teenage sons have never seen me naked, but I hope the transparency of the rest of our relationship gives them more comfort and confidence than I had at their age.
Read the original article on Insider
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Medically Reviewed by Renee A. Alli, MD on February 11, 2021
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Puberty's changes start when the brain triggers the production of sex hormones. Although physical changes follow a predictable pattern, every child develops at their own pace. Puberty usually begins for girls before boys. For most girls, puberty begins around age 11. For boys, puberty starts from 10 to 14. The average age is 12.
Breast growth is usually the first sign of puberty girls will notice. First, small lumps form behind the nipples. They can be sore, but the pain goes away as breasts grow and change shape over the next few years. As they grow, it’s not unusual for one breast to develop more slowly than the other, but they will even out in time. Boys also may have some swelling on their chest but it tends to go away within a year or two.
The first sign of puberty in boys is subtle -- an increase in testicle size. About a year later, the penis and scrotum start to grow. Semen can be released during an erection when they are awake or when they are asleep.
After breasts and testicles start growing, body hair will start to grow in and become thicker. For both boys and girls, new hair will start growing in the armpits and pubic area around the genitals. Arm and leg hair gets thicker. Boys also may start developing chest and facial hair.
Mild acne may be normal in early puberty. Puberty's high hormone levels can trigger acne outbreaks. During puberty, the oil glands are more active and your child will probably sweat more. Keeping the face and body clean can help, but if acne is a concern, talk to a doctor. Medications may help.
About a year after puberty begins, girls have a growth spurt. A girl will get taller and start to get wider hips and fuller breasts. Some curve-related fat will appear on their stomach, buttocks, and legs. Girls usually reach adult height by their mid- to late teens.
The peak growth spurt for boys happens later than it does for girls. It occurs around six months after pubic hair development. When it does, your son's shoulders will become fuller and broader, and they'll grow taller, too. Their face shape will look less round and more adult-like. Depending on when puberty starts, they may not reach their adult height until their late teens or even early 20s.
A girl usually gets their first period between 10 and 16 years old (about 2 to 2 1/2 years after they start puberty.) Menstruation is a sign that they're physically an adult and able to get pregnant. You may want to talk to your doctor if your daughter doesn’t get their first period by the time they're 16.
Toward the end of puberty, your son's voice may start cracking. This is normal, and will stop after a few months. When it does, their voice will sound deeper. Voice changes are caused by testosterone, a hormone released in boys during puberty. It causes the vocal cords to get thicker and longer and their larynx to grow bigger. This is their "Adam’s apple."
Some kids become sexually mature at a very early age. Early or precocious puberty is when a child reaches a physical or hormonal milestone -- breast, testes, or pubic hair growth -- before age 6 to 8 in girls or 9 in boys. Early puberty is linked with obesity in girls. Early puberty rarely is due to hormone exposure or a problem with the thyroid, ovaries, or brain. Talk to your doctor if you're concerned.
Keep track of your child's bodily changes in a way that respects their desire for privacy. Call the doctor if:
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American Academy of Pediatrics: "Puberty: Information for Boys."
Family Doctor, American Academy of Family Physicians: "Puberty: What to Expect When Your Child Goes Through Puberty."
Healthy Children, American Academy of Pediatrics: "Physical Development of School Age Children, "Stages of Puberty," "When Puberty Starts Early," "What's Happening to My Body?"
KidsHealth: "Everything You Wanted to Know About Puberty," "Your Child’s Changing Voice," "Causes of Precocious Puberty," "All About Menstruation," "Breasts and Bras," "When Does Height Happen?"
4Parents, U.S. Department of Health & Human Services: "Physical Changes During Puberty For Girls," "Physical Changes During Puberty For Boys."
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If childhood feels like a nonstop pool party, puberty is the dark storm that rolls in out of nowhere, raining down lightning and striking the pool, electrocuting everyone and giving you hair in new places. Puberty is a lot of things, but subtle sure isn't one of them. These five guys got really candid about the first time they realized nothing would ever be the same. And no matter what your experience was like, you can probably relate on some level.
1. "I don't remember exactly how old I was, but this was right when I first started getting boners. I still get boners a lot, but back then, it was like, if I thought I heard someone say the word 'boob,' I got a boner. So there's this girl I have a huge crush on, and I finally work up the courage to ask her. My penis, of course is all, 'Oh, a girl you like, cool,' and tries to play wingman by showing off. She notices it through my JNCO jeans, she laughs, her friend laughs . People teased me for a little about it. As if, like, having a working sex drive and penis is something crazy that you need to get ridiculed for." - Troy, 28
2. "I was relatively young and realized that rubbing my boner up against my bed at night felt really, really good. So I would do that, and eventually one day, I guess it made me orgasm ? I didn't understand what happened and I got kind of freaked out. I'd had sex ed but I didn't put it together. So I just tried to go to sleep but I couldn't because I kept compulsively checking on my penis to make sure it was OK." - Kevin, 26
3. "I don't know if this counts, but when I was younger, I remember thinking boobs were really great but vaginas were gross. I feel like I need to defend my 12-year-old self here now. I just didn't exactly understand entirely what the big deal is and in my defense, I probably didn't have the greatest grip on how sex worked at that point. I also think pubic hair weirded me out, at that point. Like, as far as I knew, it was just a bunch of pubic hair. Anyway, I remember stumbling onto internet porn. I just want to give a shout out to Net Nanny for being really lenient … I don't know how I found it, but it was some admittedly soft-core images, but she had a shaved vagina. It just, like, jump-started puberty for me . It was like, 'BAM! I get it now.' Like, when you finally start enjoying the taste of beer. I was like, 'This whole lady thing. I'm into it. The whole package.' Then my mom walked in and started yelling at me. I must have just zoned out completely and didn't notice her walking down the hall or opening the door to the computer room. I lost computer access for a month. So basically, I associate my sexual awakening with deep shame. I'm sure that's screwed me up." - Adrian, 29
4. "When I first discovered masturbation, it, uh … didn't exactly coincide with my discovery of the internet and all it was capable of. I wound up hoarding a lot of my mom's women's magazines . I'd sort of hide them in my room. Not under the mattress or anything as if they were porn, but I'd stash them. As if she'd just be OK with them going missing. I'd be lucky if there were a few bikini pictures or some kind of feature on comfortable bras. Anyway, she eventually found a bunch while cleaning my room and was all, 'Why do you have them? I was looking for these.' I tried to convince her that I was into celeb gossip and recipes and DIY and stuff. At the time, I thought she bought it. But looking back, it was so obvious she didn't. She knew. She didn't take them back so … she must have known. I feel like as a kid, you think you're the first person to discover masturbation and no one knows you're jerking off . But all your parents know." - Tom, 27
5. "OK, so this is the story of my first 'wild boner.' [ Editor's note: This sounds like it would make for a fascinating nature documentary. Boners in the wild !] It wasn't my first boner but it was the first time I had a totally errant one. I was giving a presentation in science class on … I want to say it was on the water cycle or something like that, but it was basically just reading a paper you wrote at the front of the class. For some reason, my penis is like, 'Aww yeah. Evaporation FTW,' and just, like, instant erection. If dicks could get whiplash, I'd be bringing mine to the chiropractor . So I decide I need to hide it, and instead of holding my paper lower (which I thought was so obvious, somehow, that everyone would know I had a boner), I turn around. I pick up some chalk, and just start writing words on the board as an excuse to stay facing away from the class. I don't know why I didn't do something more constructive, like say, map out the water cycle. Instead I'm just writing words like 'rain' or 'clouds' on the board, like these are really important. It worked, sort of. Everyone probably thought I was an idiot, including the teacher, but at least no one saw my boner." - Jared, 25
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