Protocol Bdsm

Protocol Bdsm

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A protocol is any defined, enforced code of behavior, and or rituals whether it be within the confines of a particular group, community, or other interpersonal dynamic (such as a power exchange relationship ).

Protocols are a set of governing rules that dictate the body, behavior and attitudes through an enforced code of behavior and/or rituals whether it be within the confines of a particular group, community, or interpersonal dynamic.

Protocols are often referred to those found within a power exchange relationship. The reason there is no set rules about universal protocols is because every power exchange relationship is different, not just based on relationship style, but more specifically on the individuals involved in the relationship and their needs and wants .

Best Practices indicate that it is unreasonable to expect that others should or must respect your particular set of protocols if you have not negotiated for such things with them.

Invisible protocols are protocols that occur in a method that is stealthy and difficult to detect when compared to a typical vanilla environment. Usually invisible protocols are used to practice power exchange in areas where stealth is required, or as an enhanced communication technique that allows complex information and concepts to be transferred quickly.

These protocols and rituals see frequent use with couples that have children, those practicing D/s in public and not wanting to alert others or force them to see something non-consensual, or when wishing to enjoy a well trained slave.

An honorific title is a word or expression with connotations conveying esteem or respect when used in addressing or referring to a person. Honorifics are one of the most common types of protocols used in BDSM. An honorific is often a title such as "Sir", "Mistress" or whatever title the D-type prefers to assign within the power exchange dynamic, and while the honorific may convey a specific idea, no honorific chosen necessarily specifically indicates a specialized list of qualifications. Typically an honorific will be used while in scene or during times when invisible protocols are not necessary for 24/7 dynamics, and will be used to start or end a passage of speech, or both start and end a passage of speech. An honorific is most often chosen by the d-type deciding what sort of status role they find most suiting to them. Some honorifics are given as earned titles from issuing institutions.

Honorifics are often perceived as being masculine or feminine but are frequently adopted in a gender bending fashion as well.

A ritual is a solemn ceremony that exists within a power exchange dynamic consisting of a series of actions performed (usually by the s-type ) according to a prescribed order set by the d-type . Unlike a protocol , a ritual has a specific physical action associated with it as well as a triggering mechanism, where as a protocol can simply be a directive to govern behavior.

Rituals can cover any topic the D-type so desires, however typical rituals might involve things such as:

and anything else of importance to a particular D-type.

A mantra is a ritualized, solemn and formulaic utterance. Most times mantras are used as positive affirmations that are triggered at specific times of day or under certain specific conditions. Mantras are often used to help reinforce conditioning and can be also be a mild form of hypnosis . A mantra may have other specific physical actions associated with it aside from just speech to help reinforce the mantra.

Various Linguistic conventions often synonymous with D/s .

Some people in the D/s world capitalize words and names that refer to d-types , and do not capitalize those that refer to s-types , hence the capitalization of D/s; others do not. This practice was popularized on internet chatrooms, to make it easier to identify the orientation of the writer or the person being written about and has spread to many other forms of text based communication.

Also, some s-types eschew personal pronouns, instead referring to themselves as "this slave" or "Master Bob's girl/boy". This is sometimes considered an expression of modesty or objectification , but it is an entirely optional method of depersonalizing an s-type . It is speculated that this practice may have roots in the military, where new recruits are required to refer to themselves as "this recruit" rather than "I" or "me".

Further some may have speech restriction protocols such as the inability to say the word "no" to the Master (yet still having other venues to express dissatisfaction without challenging the Master) they serve or being required to kneel and request permission to speak with hand signal.

To develop some starter protocols as a D-type , consider what things you value and what small niceties might make your life easier and more enjoyable. Then discuss them with your partner and negotiate the terms of these protocols. When creating rituals and protocols, ensure they have the following criteria:

With that information you will be able to create your own rewarding protocols with your partner, provided you know what it is that you want and like, and if you don't, it's important to get to know yourself if you intend on directing your s-type in how to please you.

Sometimes when developing your own protocols it can be useful to have a basis for comparison, take a look at some of these sources and note how very different they are in writing style, purpose and application.

Once you start to have some ideas about what is important to you, begin organizing your thoughts into a Schema.

A protocol schema is a systematic way of describing the set of rules which constitute a protocol. The schema is divided into four sections:

Within D/s, it is common that more emphasis will be placed on the s-type when writing out a protocol.

When introducing protocols, consider discussing them as well as the concerns and challenges that may arise with your s-type as they will have certain insights you will not, and require their feedback as they integrate protocols.

Introduce 1-3 at a time until the s-type has canonized them through conditioning and then add more of your protocols so as not to overburden your s-type with too many drastic changes at once such as by handing them a huge manual of protocols to be responsible for all at once. When trying out a new protocol, use it on a trial basis, reassess and alter the new protocol as necessary so that it will best serve the relationship. When the process is refined, agreed upon and trained, dedicate it to the protocols that are considered expectations of the d-type .

Consider having them keep a log of when a protocol is first taught and when it is learned sufficiently to be set as an expectation so that the log may be referred to if there is a protocol breach. Keep your schema private from them at this time until such a time as it is no longer necessary.

If the slave finds that a protocol is not corrected when failed, the slave will often begin to have the relationship structure degrade in their mind which is poisonous to a relationship based on structure and power exchange. If this becomes common the structure can fail. If the Master finds they aren't upset enough to mention and appropriately deal with a protocol when the expectation isn't met, or worse, that it isn't noticed at all when the expectation isn't followed through on, it is best to consider downgrading the protocol to a stated preference rather than an expectation that must be met as is implied by using the term protocol.

The phrase "High Protocol" is frequently used in D/s and M/s, but has no universal meaning. High Protocol is often used during formal dinners in the Leather M/s community and at various other Leather events and is often marked by being very restrictive and akin to military protocol. Most high protocols for s-type 's do share some common features, including:

The fictional protocol in force at Roissy in the "Story of O" is a classic example of a detailed high protocol.

High Protocol in front of people who are not members of the dominant's immediate household may also have some of the features of a performance. High Protocol in front of vanilla persons may be considered a consent violation and might cause a disturbance.

Protocol may also come in other levels and be sorted as needed by the d-type , typically into groups such as high, medium, low and no protocol. An example of levels of protocol is The Estate Protocols of House Tanos [1] .

Used in vanilla and informal situations.

For most public BDSM scene environments, and during play scenes.

Normally used for short periods or during longer punishments.

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BDSM protocol is all about behaviors. In BDSM, it can be used in so many different ways that it can be difficult to understand or grasp, but protocol can be very valuable and rewarding. So what is it? Let’s find out.
Protocol is a predetermined way for one to behave in a specific time, place, or occasion.
There are three different levels/types of protocol: low protocol , medium protocol , and high protocol . These levels set the expected formality for a designated time, place, or occasion.
Invisible protocols are all about discretion in a vanilla place or around vanilla people, including kids. They are discreetly being active in your dynamic, even in places where other people are unaware of the power exchange between you and your partner. A specific discreet honorific can also be assigned and used in the place of your usual one.
It could be as simple as the submissive wearing an article of clothing or color that the Dominant picked out. Or it could be the submissive waiting for the Dominant to begin to eat before they do. Another example may be walking behind the Dominant and letting the Dominant open the door. The submissive then walks through the doorway and steps to the side. They wait for the Dominant to enter before they fall back in line behind the Dominant. (The reason for this is that the Dominant is the first one to greet someone. Also, if someone were to approach and ask something, they are the one who is presented with the question or choice, instead of the submissive.)
Protocols help determine and set the expected level of formality, and they keep everyone’s expectations on the same page. Protocols also help distinguish power exchange even outside of a scene.
Protocols can be used anywhere, any time, and any place as long as the protocols are negotiated before and agreed upon. Don’t forget a safeword should be used if a protocol threatens a limit you may have.
Negotiate and discuss all protocols. Negotiate and discuss when, where, and how long all protocols are expected to be followed. Do not assume one knows what is expected. Communicate , communicate, communicate.
Some people enjoy the expectations and challenges of high protocol so much that they incorporate some of the higher protocol behaviors into their everyday dynamic.
To add high protocol elements to a dynamic, you can incorporate permissions, like needing to get permission from the Dominant before completing an action, for example, furniture permissions or bathroom permissions. Ask permission before being able to sit in a chair or on a piece of furniture. Ask permission before using the restroom. (Set up a fail-safe with this. I.e., If no response within 5 mins of asking, assume permission has been granted. Also, do not participate in this protocol if any existing medical conditions that affect the bladder exist.) You can set up permissions for many things: getting dressed, getting into bed, eating or drinking, entering a room, or even asking for another spanking, etc.
Other Hp dynamic elements can include etiquette expectations. For example, the submissive gets the Dominant a drink. When they bring the Dominant their drink, they are expected to lower their eyes, bend at the waist in a bow, and extend the drink towards the Dominant while waiting for them to take the drink. I’ve also seen this action altered to have the submissive kneel, lower their eyes, and extend the drink towards the Dominant.
High protocol dynamics should be discussed thoroughly and negotiated and renegotiated often. I’ve seen instances where people who enjoy the idea of high protocol have tried to incorporate it into their dynamic and struggle with it because it’s too demanding. So make sure you communicate what you struggle with regarding HP.
If it’s regarding a BDSM event, the event will state high protocol if high protocol is expected. As far as medium protocol, I’d advise that if no protocol is listed for an event, go with medium protocol.
If it’s regarding a dynamic, then it’s the Dominant’s responsibility to make sure the submissive understands what kind of protocol is expected for when, where, and how long.
It’s important to add that you might not like some of the examples I’ve listed, but you may still enjoy high protocol. The protocol that your dynamic takes part in is up to you and your partner(s).
High protocol is a fantastic way to help maintain roles and power exchange. As well as helping one know what’s expected when and where. Don’t let the facade of high protocol scare you away from implementing elements into your dynamic. It might be exactly what you need. And remember, be kinky and stay curious!
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BDSM High Protocol Ideas

Published by Kristan X on 22nd September 2021

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In a kink context, protocol is any set of rules that govern the interactions between a dominant partner and a submissive one. Most BDSM couples have at least a few rules that dictate the way they play, even if they’re unspoken. The most obvious one is the use of titles, which usually takes the form of the submissive partner calling the dominant partner “Sir” or “Mistress” (or “Daddy” or “Boss Hog” or “Master”) as appropriate.
High protocol just means having a lot of rules in play at any one time, or having rules that are very formal, specific, or strictly enforced.
Because having a whole lot of rules can be a stressful (as
well as fun) high protocol is often only observed for limited periods of time.
You might have a high protocol evening or a high protocol meal, or simply
observe your high protocol rules while spending time in the bedroom.
It’s powerful to observe rules. It reminds the submissive partner that they are owned, and reinforces the control of their dominant. Indeed, it almost doesn’t matter what rules you adhere to when playing with protocol. Anything can be powerful if it is strictly enforced .
You can make your partner bake you muffins every weekend, or present themselves to you as a human footstool. The form that your high protocol play takes can be malleable. You should do whatever works for you.
But, if you’re looking for some inspiration or some starting points for mapping out your high protocol BDSM play, here are some ideas to get you started…
The submissive partner must avert their gaze from the
dominant partner unless instructed otherwise. When doing this it’s better that
they direct their eyes demurely to the floor, rather than looking out a window
or staring into space like a bored employee.
Alternatively, the submissive partner must look to their dominant’s face at all times. Not personally one for me, but I gather some people do love being the centre of attention.
When not doing something else, or when first presenting themselves
to the dominant partner, the submissive partner should adopt a certain position.
A gold standard is kneeling on the floor with knees spread and arms crossed
behind their back.
The submissive partner can also be required to learn several
positions and adopt them on command. The Restrained
Elegance Lexicon of Slavegirl Positions is the de facto illustrated repository of different positions. Give it a
read. It’s really quite entertaining.
Whenever speaking to the dominant partner, the submissive should use an agreed upon title. “Sir” or “Mistress” are the traditional ones, but “Daddy” is also pretty popular. If you want to go full military, make the title the first and last word that they use in every utterance.
The submissive partner must perform certain tasks for the
dominant partner on request. These might include making coffee the way they
like it, polishing shoes, preparing a meal, or preparing their own body for sex
or play.
These can take the form of standing orders as well. During a
meal it can be the submissive partner’s responsibility to refill the dominant
partner’s glass whenever it’s empty. Or, of a morning, they might be ordered to
rise first, make a cup of tea, and then kneel beside the bed until the dominant
partner is ready to wake. Cute, eh?
The submissive partner must prepare themselves to a high
standard before the arrival of the dominant partner, or on request. This can
include bathing, wearing perfume, dressing a certain way, douching, inserting a
butt plug, masturbating until wet/hard/otherwise ready, and so on.
Some couples have a rigid set of rules that govern this.
These might include a schedule for the submissive partner to shave or wax, to
fix their nails,
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Protocol Bdsm

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