Prostate Massage Blow Job
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Prostate Massage Blow Job
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Ryn Pfeuffer
Ryn Pfeuffer is a queer sex and relationships writer, and over the past two decades, her work has appeared in more than 100 media outlets including Marie Claire, Playboy, Refinery29, Shape, The Globe and Mail, The Washington Post, and WIRED.
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Did you know it has health benefits, too?
Curious about prostate massage, and how to do it? We got you.
The prostate—also known as the male G-spot , or P-spot—is a small gland that's walnut-shaped and located about 2-5 inches inside your rectum, towards your stomach. It produces the seminal fluid, or the fluid that mixes with sperm, to create semen. It also multitasks as a gland in the male reproductive system. (Only cisgender men and people assigned male at birth have the prostate gland as part of the male reproductive system.)
A prostate massage is a procedure in which a finger or toy is inserted into the rectum to stimulate the prostate gland—which can feel really, really good.
“The prostate is a highly coveted area of pleasure because it is surrounded by nerve endings,” says Dr. Evan Goldstein, founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical and co-founder of Future Method . “For anyone who has ever had an orgasm while having their prostate stimulated, they know that it’s a unique orgasm in that it can be felt from head to toe, sending (good) shivers up and down your spine."
Prostate massage can be used for sexual stimulation, commonly referred to as "prostate milking." Inserting a toy, finger, or penis into the anus can stimulate the anus and help achieve arousal, enhance an erection, or relax the rectum. The prostate can also be stimulated externally through the perineum, the area between the anus and the scrotum. If orgasm is achieved strictly through perineum massage, it's sometimes known as a perineum orgasm.
Beyond pleasure, prostate massage is said to help a variety of health conditions , including:
Benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH): A noncancerous enlargement of the prostate gland. It develops when changing hormone levels cause the prostate to grow larger. (It's also known as prostate gland enlargement.)
As Men's Health previously reported , a small case study in 2006 found that regular prostate massage combined with medications such as alpha blockers and 5-alpha reductase inhibitors can help alleviate symptoms associated with BPH.
Urinary hesitancy: When a person has difficulty starting or maintaining a stream of urine.
The prostate wraps around the urethra (the tube that carries urine from the bladder and through the penis). Starting around age 25, the adult prostate begins to slowly enlarge. As it grows, it puts pressure on the urethra, which can lead to a number of BPH-related urination problems, according to the Mayo Clinic .
Prostatitis: An infection or inflammation that causes the prostate to become painful and swollen.
According to WebMD , small studies have found that prostate massage several times a week (in conjunction with antibiotics) can help alleviate symptoms of prostatitis. “If done correctly, and over a regularly scheduled time, the individual could see a decrease in prostatitis (localized inflammation—like a clogged drain that’s backed up with lots of pressure),” Goldstein says.
Erectile dysfunction: The inability to get or keep an erection firm enough to have sexual intercourse.
While there isn't a ton of science to indicate that prostate massage can help with ED, some experts still support it. "The theory behind the potential benefit involves an improvement in blood flow resulting from vigorous milking or massaging of the prostate. Because erections are largely the result of good blood flow, any increase could potentially lead to better boners," Joshua R. Gonzalez, MD, previously told Men's Health .
Prostate massage is safe, but it does come with a few risks. The prostate is highly sensitive, which has its pros and cons. “While on one hand, that’s a good thing because the slightest bit of stimulation can be highly pleasurable, on the other hand, it can easily become irritated if it directly stimulated too hard or for too long,” Goldstein says. “When this happens, it causes what’s called prostatitis. What’s ironic is that while too much direct stimulation can cause prostatitis, just enough stimulation can help decrease prostatitis.” So, it’s about finding the right balance and what’s comfortable for you.
Another thing to keep in mind is that the tissues lining the prostate and anus are extremely delicate and prone to cuts, tears, and abrasions. “Micro tears of the anus, called fissures, can happen if you or your partner forgets to cut their nails or if things get too rough,” Goldstein says.
That’s why he prefers using toys specifically designed for prostate stimulation, rather than fingers. “The joints in our fingers are quite flexible and you might hit something that could be painful or uncomfortable,” he says. “Meanwhile, prostate toys have the ideal angle and length to help minimize discomfort and maximize pleasure.” It’s best to proceed slowly, gently, and with plenty of lubrication.
Many people with a penis consider prostate massage to be a pleasurable sexual practice. If you give it a try, there are a few things to keep in mind to prevent injury or irritation:
If you're performing a prostate massage for sexual purposes, here's what to do. (BTW, if you're doing it to a partner—or vice versa—make sure you have their consent before you get started. Prostate massage is not something you want to spring on someone.)
Take a deep breath. You want to be calm and relaxed. Dim the lights. Put on some relaxing music. Do what you need to do to get into the mood.
Goldstein says to start with one or two well-manicured fingers (make sure nails are short and smooth!) that are slippery with lots of lube .
Lube is your friend during prostate play. (The anus and rectum do not self-lubricate like the vagina.) Goldstein recommends silicone lube , because it lasts longer and is slicker than water-based.
Always start small and work your way up. Whether you're using fingers or a toy, if you are new to prostate play, do not go big out of the gate.
Slowly insert a lubed finger into your (or the receiver's) anus. The P-spot can be found 2-4 inches inside the anal canal, on the front or anterior wall of the pelvis. You'll know you've found it when you feel a raised, walnut-sized gland. Use a "come hither" motion to massage the prostate, while applying moderate pressure.
If you're exploring with a partner, the receiver can try masturbating while the other person stimulates their prostate to intensify the sensations.
We're so glad you asked! If you're operating a solo, a prostate massager can help you hit the right spot. (That said, you can also use a prostate massager during partnered sex!) The Lelo Loki Wave provides both prostate and perineum stimulation; the Aneros Stimulator is another great option for self-administered prostate massage.
Carol Queen, Ph.D., Good Vibrations staff sexologist and author (with Shar Rednour) of The Sex & Pleasure Book: Good Vibrations Guide to Great Sex for Everyone recommends any Aneros product . “The size and shape differences aren't important in terms of their quality—these are terrific prostate toys. Most of them are non-silicone, which means silicone lube is fine to use with them.” (FYI, silicone lube carries the risk of eroding silicone toys.)
Queen also recommends Svakom's Vick and FunFactory's Duke . “And OhMiBod's Clube Vibe 3.OH Hero is probably the most unique prostate toy on the market because it can pulse to the rhythm of your tunes,” says Queen. She adds that you should use water-based lubes with these, since they are silicone.
However you choose to massage your prostate, you can rest assured that you're doing something good for yourself. “Prostate stimulation allows people to achieve an incredibly powerful orgasm—one that most people will not access (literally) due to the stigma associated with anal play,” says Goldstein. “For most, the ass is the final frontier in sexual exploration and continuing to normalize this part of our body and get rid of the taboo will hopefully allow each of us with a prostate to experience heightened sexual encounters.”
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Do you want to give your man the most intense orgasms he’s ever had, potentially including multiple orgasms? Has he expressed interest in prostate massage for pleasure or health? Then you’ve come to the right place. We’ve got all the information you need about prostate play.
You might read guides about prostate massage that also mention prostate milking. Typically, these two phrases mean the same thing. No matter what you choose to call it, it can be a great way to bring pleasure to your man. We’ll use both terms interchangeably throughout this Prostate Massage guide.
You may be interested in learning more about prostate massage in this podcast I recorded with Forrest Walker a product developer for a sex toy company that makes prostate massagers.
First things first – where and what is the prostate? The prostate gland is an organ that’s part of a man’s endocrine system. It secrets prostate fluid, one of the components of semen [ 1 ]. The prostate’s location is around the urethra, below the bladder.
The prostate is also known as an organ that brings pleasure and a different kind of orgasm to a man. For thousands of years, the prostate has been known as an acupressure spot.
Not sure how your man feels about prostate play? It’s one of the most important sex questions to ask a guy !
You or your man can access the prostate through two modes. First, you can access it through the lining of the anus. You’ll find it about 2 inches inside his anus with your fingers crooked towards his testicles.
The prostate’s position means it’s not easily stimulated by a tongue. You can still eat his ass to make him go crazy. Learn how .
Another way to locate the prostate is through the perineum, the slightly rough area between his anus and balls. If you push firmly through the skin (some people use their knuckle to achieve this), you may be able to stimulate his prostate.
The prostate is located inside your man’s rectum and is similar in shape to a walnut. When aroused, it should feel firm. An unhealthy prostate might be especially large or have a different texture.
The fact that the prostate can be accessed through the anus gives some people pause. For instance, you might wonder if his interest in prostate massage makes him gay.
You’re a woman, right? He’s attracted to you and having sex with you, right? It’s highly unlikely that he’s gay.
You might even be a straight woman who enjoys anal play. There’s much pleasure to be had from it, so forge right ahead! If he’s feeling hesitant, have him read this article about the male G-spot .
Another reason why people may be reluctant to try giving a prostate massage is that of how you access it: via the rectum.
Some people are uncomfortable about the idea of prostate milking because they worry it might be messy. Whenever you get involved with ass play, there’s always a chance of dealing with fecal matter. However, your man can reduce the likelihood of this happening by taking several precautions.
In most cases, an enema isn’t necessary; although, your man might enjoy it as a precursor to prostate massage. Enemas hook up to your faucet or shower, inserting water into the anus with a tube. Enemas can leave your man feeling extra clean, but the device may be pricey, and it takes more time than a simple douche.
Get more tips like these in our post on preparing for anal sex .
Remember to prepare by clipping your nails short and filing them smooth, which is always thoughtful when manually stimulating a partner!
You may also feel better about massaging your guy’s prostate if you use a barrier. In a pinch, a condom will work when slipped over a finger or two. You can also use a glove. Avoid latex if either of you has an allergy, which also means you shouldn’t use latex condoms.
Lubricate the fingers of the glove and simply toss them in the trash when you’re done massaging his prostate.
You can also use toys so you don’t have to use your fingers, and we’ll discuss those in depth in just a bit.
All of these things help to make prostate massage safe. Learn more about anal sex safety .
You might be excited to jump into prostate play and give your man a new experience, but there are things you can do to ensure your man enjoys it. For starters, go slower than slow. It’s the same advice we give for any woman who is trying anal sex for the first time . Before you penetrate your man, try manual stimulation of his butt and around his anus. Learn more about anal fingering here .
Using lube is important because the prostate doesn’t self-lubricate. A thick water-based lube might be up his alley, or the two of you might prefer a silicone lube, which is longer lasting. Check out our guide to lube for more tips . Make sure to reapply lube as often as necessary.
Start with one finger, then slowly keep adding them until your man has become accustomed to the feeling. This is a good method if you’re planning to work up to a sex toy that’s more girthy (also known as anal training ). You can also start with a narrow toy and work your way up to larger toys.
Make sure your man is relaxed. If he’s already had an orgasm, that’s a good start. Give him a sensual massage beforehand (silicone-based lube also works for this!). Encourage him to breathe during the entire experience, which will keep his body more relaxed.
If you’ve only got time for a quickie, then you probably don’t want to try prostate massage if it’s his first time. It can take up to an hour for him to reach orgasm through prostate massage; although, like will all sex acts, you should try to focus on the journey and not the end goal.
All of these things reduce the likelihood of pain. Read this if anal sex hurts .
Although prostate stimulation is something many men enjoy, it’s different for every man. Stimulating the prostate may give him an instant erection. Or he may go soft when one of you is stimulating his prostate. This doesn’t mean he’s not enjoying it, however. Communication is key to making sure his experience is a positive one. More on that in this post about talking about sex .
It can take a few times for prostate massage to feel really good. Men may need to get used to the feeling of the pressure or the lack of control during a prostate massage. Sensation also builds up over time, so it might not be mind-altering at first.
One man responded to the Bad Girls Bible survey about prostate massage to let us know that it feels like “humbling feeling of being drained against your will.” Wow! Another described “a deep, internal tension which feels like my cock is being stimulated from the inside out.”
For many, it definitely feels like a massage, just from a different angle.
Interestingly, several men responded to the survey and commented how prostate stimulation makes them feel like they have to pee [ 2 ]. You might experience a similar sensation when massaging your G-spot (and some people describe the G-spot as the female prostate or vice versa).
However, it might not be possible for a woman to understand what prostate stimulation feels like. As one man put it:
this question is like trying to describe the color blue to a blind person
There are so many reasons why men like anal , both giving and receiving. Many others responded that they simply couldn’t describe it at all.
One thing’s for sure, he might just thank you for being freaky enough to suggest prostate play once he tries it! Discover what it means to be a freak in bed .
Using a toy made for prostate massage can help you zero in on this organ and can be beneficial if you lack the finger length or dexterity to do so.
Many G-spot toys (vibrators and dildos) work for prostate milking. Some anal probes or butt plugs (learn how to use a butt plug ) will also do the job. But if you’re looking for intense prostate stimulation, then there are a few companies that stand out from the rest: Aneros and Nexus.
Both toy companies make prostate massagers that have distinct appearances. There’s an insertable portion designed to rub against the prostate and usually an external arm for simultaneous prostate stimulation through the perineum. They come with a handle or loop that enables you to rock the toy back and forth against his prostate. Some of these toys look a bit like the three-armed triskele shape.
This distinct shape helps a man or his partner find the right spot, which can be difficult according to some of our survey responses.
Not all prostate toys have a pronounced handle, some are L-shaped, while others are C/U-shaped.
Prostate toys like those may not have vibrating components; although, you can readily find prostate vibrators. Some of the best-known sex toy makers include Fun Factory, Lelo, Rocks Off and Tantus, offer vibrating and non-vibrating prostate toys.
Using lube is just as important with a toy as when milking his prostate with your finger. You can apply lube directly to the toy, to his anus, or both.
You can also massage his prostate through the use of a strap-on harness and dildo. This practice is known as pegging, and we’ve got plenty of advice about it in this post about using strap-ons . You might also find that pegging your man gives you a thrill and makes you feel powerful.
Choosing the right dildo is important so that both you and your partner can enjoy pegging. A straight dildo may do the trick, but one with a curve or bulbous head is often better for prostate massage. Remember that the curve points up toward the prostate.
It’s easy to start with the largest dildo you can get your hands on, but be realistic. Start small if you’ve never tried pegging before. You can always increase the size (choose a harness that is compat
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