Private People

Private People

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5 Things Only Very Private People Understand

Because our walls are never thin enough.

This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

An outdated Southern rule or proper etiquette?

Celebrate Labor Day by learning about the law changing activities that created the holiday.

What's Labor Day? A farmer never complains and he has no break.

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There are two types of people in this world. Okay, scratch that, there are many kinds of people in this world. But for the relevance of this list, we are going to think of it as two different types of people: the public and the private. The public people are rather well-understood because they are an open book for all to see and read. The private people, on the other hand, can be a mystery. So here are five things only very private people understand and know to be true.
Whether on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or what have you, it is rare to find a private person posting anything on their social media pages. If we do post something it is because we were told to (ahem, Odyssey) or because our peers have advocated that changing our profile pictures has been long overdue.
Now this is not the way all very private people appear to be. In fact, some can seem quite gregarious in person. But the truth is, if you are a private person, you do not want to let many people into your life. Very few will get to truly know you — and that is alright, because it is just how private people prefer it to be.
People talk, people gossip, people are curious. Well, curiosity killed the cat and the soul inside private people. My advice to the public people who do not seem to understand boundaries: stop asking the private people about their personal business. If we wanted to open up to you, we probably would have by now.
We are human. We like talking and socializing. But if we have formed walls around us, there is a good reason why and it could be due to a myriad of reasons: our own past mistakes, some kind of PTSD, betrayal, etc.
Unless they totally screw things up, in which case they become no better than an entrance mat — that gets stepped on, repeatedly.
An open letter to the place I call home on the 20th anniversary of living here.
We fail to see that Our home is a sinking ship, Vanishing slowly.
They failed to see that This place was a sinking ship Inevitably doomed.
For anyone living in the southeastern part of the United
States, you’ve probably heard your mother or grandmother stress the importance
of not wearing white after Labor Day at least once in your lifetime.
The Industrial Revolution of the 19th century sparked a growth in business and production for the United States. Factory and mill working began to overtake farming as more and more people moved out to the cities to find work.
So as we all know, last week was a shortened week due to Labor Day. It was a typical Monday afternoon and I was scrolling through my Facebook posts. I usually read like the first sentence of a post and if I'm not intrigued I keep scrolling. Well, one post really struck me, it read, 'I think everyone should be off on Labor Day. Kinda pissed I have to go in today.'

September 20, 2021 September 14, 2021 by Barrie Davenport
What’s it like being a private person ?
If you identify as one, you might be inclined to weigh in on this.
Or you might just keep your thoughts to yourself and see if any part of this post makes sense.
We’ve identified nine surprising (or, at the very least, interesting) traits shared by private people everywhere.
If you’re a private person (or you know someone who is), we think you may recognize yourself in some of these behaviors and choices .
Someone with a private personality is very often an introvert with a strong desire for, well, privacy. They don’t share their personal world with anyone but those who’ve earned a place in their inner circle.
With the rest of the world, they’re more likely to shield their identity and their personal business than to advertise either. You’ll soon see why as you read on.
If you’re a private person, the following characteristics should sound familiar. And if you have someone else in mind, ask yourself if any of these apply to them.
You don’t feel the need to share personal stories, nor do you need to get likes, shares, and heart emojis to feel validated by your social media connections .
You don’t hate that kind of attention — as long as it feels genuine and not forced or pitying — but “going viral” is not on your priority list.
You don’t often share pictures of yourself or people you love, because it makes you feel exposed or vulnerable to attack—or invasive questions.
While some social media channels can be useful for your professional purposes, you don’t see a benefit to getting personal on any of them.
You don’t feel a need to be surrounded by friends. It’s enough to have just a few people you can trust with your confidence .
Close friends are there for you when you need them. You’re not just one of many to them, and vice-versa. You choose them carefully. And it hurts more when one of them betrays your trust. In fact, you might never trust them with your confidence ever again.
Much is expected of this intimate circle. But you give at least as much as you receive.
More outgoing people who share more of themselves on social media or their blogs have noticed you don’t do the same. And some of them even take issue with that.
They may feel that you judge them for “oversharing,” so they lash out with insulting or reductive assumptions. It’s not personal—in that it’s more about them than about you.
But it might get to you sometimes (if you let it).
For your part, you don’t mind if people outside your circle of friends consider you boring or closed off. That might even be part of your strategy.
Their assumptions keep them at a safe distance.
When conversations get too personal , you become uncomfortable unless you trust the people around you implicitly. You’ll often answer evasively or even refuse to answer the question and steer the conversation in a different direction.
If that doesn’t work, you find a reason to leave. You won’t sacrifice your privacy to please people who aren’t in your intimate circle and who are asking personal questions out of boredom or curiosity.
So, if you can get people interested in something or someone else (without sacrificing putting anyone’s privacy in the crosshairs), you will.
You’ve learned to pause and consider your response before speaking . Maybe you learned this the hard way, or perhaps this is something you’ve always done (or for as long as you can remember).
As a rule, you don’t blurt things out. And because the more tired or overwhelmed you feel, the more likely you are to say something you might regret, you tend to avoid social situations when you’re feeling run down.
You like having time to reflect on a situation or on someone’s words or actions before you respond to them—partly because, if you don’t, you’re more likely to reveal too much of your private self.
You may not be quick to announce your beliefs to others, but that doesn’t mean they don’t go deep. When you believe something, you believe it with all your soul.
As someone who values your privacy, though, you avoid debating about your beliefs with others. That said, you do recognize that even deeply-held beliefs can be wrong.
You appreciate those who’ve challenged a belief of yours and helped you see its weaknesses. You may not have been receptive to those challenges at the moment, but when something in their argument resonated, it took root.
You don’t see a point in spending time and energy on things that don’t matter to you. And while your social-media-savvy coworkers might tease you for being all-business with your social media presence, you don’t mind.
You’re amply compensated by the things on which you do spend time and energy.
You invest both in building and strengthening relationships that are important to you. You also prioritize doing your best at everything you do. You recognize that how you do little things is how you do life.
And that’s one thing you have no intention of wasting.
You’re usually calm, collected, and non-reactive. Because people are less likely to notice someone whose quiet and whose emotions are well-controlled.
You don’t see a plus side to being completely transparent about your feelings. Maybe you’ve learned the hard way that some people are only too ready to use that against you.
Or maybe your parents were private people, and you’ve inherited that inclination. In any case, you’ve yet to experience any downsides. And, as long as you don’t take privacy to an extreme that alienates the people closest to you, private is not a bad thing to be.
As someone in the habit of thinking before you speak or react, you’re more introspective and more likely to reflect on the world and your place in it.
So, whatever frustration you might feel toward those who insist you’re too private, you’re quick to feel compassion toward anyone in your world who’s hurting.
You’re also more likely to see yourself as responsible for the way you impact others–even if your intentions are good. You know, it’s not enough to have a general feeling of goodwill toward all. Every moment is an opportunity to be more of the person you want to be.
And that person doesn’t ignore suffering if they can do something about it.
If someone you know (or have recently met) describes themselves as a private person, it’s not always clear what they mean by that. Here are a few possible interpretations:
Some who identify as private people do so because they have something to hide, and they don’t want anyone looking at them too closely, else they be discovered—and rejected.
As a rule, though, it’s best not to assume a private person is hiding something shameful.
Context usually offers some clue as to what someone means when they identify themselves this way. In any case, it’s not meant to be taken personally.
Consider the following perks to being a private person:
The benefits make it well worth any grief you might get from people outside your circle. Vulnerability can be a good thing—until it’s not. And while being private can also be taken to an extreme, only you can decide what you’re willing to risk.
Now that you know the characteristics of a private person, which ones stood out for you? And who in your life fits this description?
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Why are some people very private? How does such a trait develop? Is it possible to link this to childhood and if so, how?
Originally Answered: Why are some people very private?
What does it mean when someone is said to be a "private" person?
What is the psychological reason as to why some people are more secretive than others?
Is there anything wrong with being a private person? What are the advantages of being one?
My sister is a very private person and very secretive. No one from our family knows what she does and what she is up to. She is not close to me, nor to our parents or her friends. She is by herself all the time. She does everything on her own. Is she okay? Does she have a problem?
What does being secretive say about a person?
I try to be understanding and empathetic of the different people I interact with · Author has 646 answers and 2.1M answer views · 8 y ·
Originally Answered: Why are some people very private?
What does it mean when someone is said to be a "private" person?
What is the psychological reason as to why some people are more secretive than others?
Is there anything wrong with being a private person? What are the advantages of being one?
My sister is a very private person and very secretive. No one from our family knows what she does and what she is up to. She is not close to me, nor to our parents or her friends. She is by herself all the time. She does everything on her own. Is she okay? Does she have a problem?
What does being secretive say about a person?
What are the traits of a private person?
How can I approach a person I like, who is very private?
What are reasons as to why people choose to keep their life private?
What are the disadvantages of being a private person?
I'm a very private person, hesitant to talk about myself, and because of this, I don't make many friends. How can I seem friendly but maintain my privacy?
When someone is an extremely private person, do they usually have something to hide?
Why are some people so private? Is it that they are hiding something, like another life?
What kind of issues causes a person to be private?
Have you ever remained friends with an extremely private person?
Can a secretive and private person ever be genuine?
What does it mean when someone is said to be a "private" person?
What is the psychological reason as to why some people are more secretive than others?
Is there anything wrong with being a private person? What are the advantages of being one?
My sister is a very private person and very secretive. No one from our family knows what she does and what she is up to. She is not close to me, nor to our parents or her friends. She is by herself all the time. She does everything on her own. Is she okay? Does she have a problem?
What does being secretive say about a person?
What are the traits of a private person?
How can I approach a person I like, who is very private?
What are reasons as to why people choose to keep their life private?
What are the disadvantages of being a private person?
I'm a very private person, hesitant to talk about myself, and because of this, I don't make many friends. How can I seem friendly but maintain my privacy?
Something went wrong. Wait a moment and try again.
This is very simple in my opinion - wishing to keep your life private arises from negative experiences of being criticized, judged or excluded from a group upon revealing certain things about oneself, as already mentioned by Bob Sinclair here using slightly different wording :)
For some people, life is like being in the court room all the time - every word you say may be used against you when you're surrounded by a particular type of people, so if you're smart (and not a sado mazo), you'll just keep things to yourself.
So it all goes down to being around people who take advantage of your person
This is very simple in my opinion - wishing to keep your life private arises from negative experiences of being criticized, judged or excluded from a group upon revealing certain things about oneself, as already mentioned by Bob Sinclair here using slightly different wording :)
For some people, life is like being in the court room all the time - every word you say may be used against you when you're surrounded by a particular type of people, so if you're smart (and not a sado mazo), you'll just keep things to yourself.
So it all goes down to being around people who take advantage of your personal information to gain something they want. When you're around people who you trust, who love you, support you, AND accept you the way you are - you'd never hide things away from them (unless they came into your life after a few traumatic experiences). Being closed off is just a reflex, just like once you get burnt by fire, you won't stick your fingers into it anymore.
_____End of theoretic part. You can stop here if you don't care much to read long boring stories. You may skip straight to the conclusion below_____
Ok, so I had quite a lot of situations where people were talking behind my back and twisting everything I ever said to their advantage. Starting with some family members, and ending with my classmates in school and in college.
One silly example. I was always a straight A-student in school, and lots of people felt intimidated by me for that reason (even though I've been the shyest kid ever), so there were lots of attempts to discredit me in some way. Every time I visited my relatives in the country side for a school vacation, I always had a few text books with me to prepare for the upcoming semester. I went to the toughest school in a provincial town in Russia where I grew up, a Gymnasium the way it's called. It required some extra input compared to an ordinary school. My cousins seemed to be jealous that my grandma often said nice things about me, so they would say things like this to my grandma once I was gone: "There must be something wrong with her since she has to study all the time - how come she can't memorize anything right in class. We never do homework and we still remember everything". While the way my school worked, there was tons of stuff that you had to learn on your own and no one ever explained in class, - but my cousins wouldn't get that. So every time I visited, I'd hide that book every time they were around, just to avoid this mockery.
A bit more serious of an example. Another issue lots of people like to visit is how much money others make. There is a reason why this is considered an impolite question among civilized people; this issue gets more judgement than anything else. Back to my relatives. My grandma has an apartment where she lives, and she hasn't signed her will yet. It would be either my side of the family or my cousins' side who'd get the apartment in the end.
Every time anyone from my side of the family is visiting the country side, my cousin's family is bombarding us with questions about how much money we're making. We try our best to avoid answering this, because we know it's all going to get soooo twisted after we leave. The thing is that the other side of the family is trying to show to grandma that my side of the family makes more money, and therefore we don't deserve to get her apartment. They would go as far as comment to my grandma "Oh, she must have a lot of money" after I bought a pack of gum in a store in front of them! This gum costs pennies, but my grandma went through the war times and I guess it might look like some sort of a "luxury" to her. But when my cousin's family spends $2K (pretty big money in a Russian country side!) to lay pavement around their house (yes, might be needed yet not the first necessity, plus I think the men in their family could do it themselves instead of hiring contractors), or that each of my cousins has a car while no one in my family does - no, that's totally fine, no one ever talks about that.
Either way, even though my side of the family technically does make more money, we live in cities where the cost of living is incomparably more expensive to that of the country side. So in the end, I believe this argument to be completely unfair in this situation, because in reality, we actually make less. None of my siblings has th
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