Private Babies

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Private Babies
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Private adoption is one of the most common types of adoptions, especially when it comes to that of infant adoption. In private adoption, the birth parent, or parents, voluntarily place their child for adoption, often choosing the family with whom they will place their child. Birth parents can either find a family on their own through word of mouth or profile searches, or via the help of an adoption agency or attorney. It is also one of the reasons parent profiles, like the ones shown here , are an important tool in adoption.
Private adoption is the route most chosen when hoping to adopt an infant. Public adoption or adoption from foster care often finds it difficult to place infants with hopeful adoptive families. While it does happen, it is much rarer than private adoption. Prospective parents who want to adopt an infant will likely go with the private adoption route.
Private adoption is also more expensive than adoption from foster care . There are so many variables that come into play in private adoption. Prospective adoptive parents may be subject to adoption fees, including but not limited to the agency , home study, living expenses for the birth mother, court, and attorney fees, etc. It can often reach into the tens of thousands of dollars, depending on the circumstances.
Through this route, prospective parents may try to find a match on their own to avoid some of the fees. Some of those adoptions occur with extended families or friends by word of mouth. It is very common that prospective parents match with someone they know, or a situation involving a friend, or family member. Social media has been a great help in utilizing the option of self-matching. Private adoption allows the most extensive journey, as it typically begins with the birth mother’s pregnancy and extends to well after the birth parents placed their child.
Lita Jordan is a master of all things “home.” A work-from-home, stay-at-home, homeschooling mother of five. She has a BA in Youth Ministry from Spring Arbor University. She is married to the “other Michael Jordan” and lives on coffee and its unrealistic promises of productivity. Lita enjoys playing guitar and long trips to Target. Follow her www.facebook.com/halfemptymom/ .
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Paula @ EasyBabyLife
13 Apr 2022
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Paula @ EasyBabyLife
14 Jul 2020
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Paula @ EasyBabyLife
10 Sep 2019
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Paula @ EasyBabyLife
10 Sep 2019
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Is it normal for babies to grab their private parts?
This is a common question among parents, who may worry about this behavior as not being normal for a litttle child – or in some cases, the toddler or baby is grabbing their private parts and crying.
Let’s take a look at a few reasons for this behavior.
Mom’s Question: My 12-month-old baby keeps scratching and grabbing her private parts all the time. She used to grab her private parts only at a diaper change but now she is trying to do it any chance she can get to it.
At diaper change, it is so hard to keep her hands away from it that I have to sometimes get my 8 yr old to hold her hands. She has been doing this for about 3 months.
Is this normal for a baby to be grabbing their private parts and what can I as her parent do about it?
Your question is a great one and one that many parents are a bit shy about asking, so thank you!
The question also made me smile as my youngest son was still grabbing his ‘bits and bobs’ at every available opportunity as a toddler!
So, is it normal for babies to grab or touch their private parts..?
Well, the simplest, and the most common answer is YES !
Sexual behaviors in children are common, occurring in 42 to 73 percent of children between the age of 2 and 13.
During infancy, the far most common behavior is exactly what you are observing – that the baby touches their genital area.
Toddlers and preschoolers also often touch their genetalia. Some 25-60% of all children in this age group appear to be doing this according to research. They are also often curious about what naked people look like and may try to look at parents, siblings, or friends when they are nude. Since they are unaware of the fact that touching “should” be done in private, it is also quite common that they touch themselves in public.
As the children grow older they will become more private with their sexual behaviors, and they will also become more interested in what sex actually is and seek information about it.
Of course, not all sexual behaviors in children are healthy and normal . What’s normal and not is assessed from a developmental perspective and not based on what we as adults may feel about the behavior (inappropriate, embarrassing, etc…).
In general, children that exhibit behaviors that occur at a much greater frequency or at a much earlier age than would be developmentally or culturally expected may indicate a problem, for example. They also typically involve interaction with other people and sexual contact. Underlying reasons can in these cases be e.g a emotional or behavior disorders, or family dysfuction including violence and sexual abuse.
In these situations, the child’s behaviors should, of course be assessed and the reasons for the behaviors identified and addressed.
All this said, a baby touching their private parts is normal behavior . Let’s take a look at what explains this behavior:
For a start, babies are sexual and sensual creatures, so it is perfectly normal for a baby boy to get an erection and for little girls too, to get sexually stimulated. It is, however, not at all sexual in the way we as adults refer to it, but totally innocent and shows your baby is gaining control of her body, in that she has figured out she can do certain movements that feel pretty nice!
Some babies and children even rock or wriggle themselves off to sleep with these lovely feelings!
In addition, for babies, this area is normally concealed under the diaper. When you remove the diaper, the area feels cool… and free! Your baby is then drawn to explore a part of her body that she doesn’t usually have access to, in the same way, that she once played with her feet when she first discovered them.
If your baby is grabbing or scratching her vagina and is at the same time showing any sign of distress or discomfort (in other words, you feel that she might be grabbing at this area because something is irritating her), then check with your doctor to make sure there is no underlying medical cause.
Babies have other symptoms of urinary tract infections than adults, for example.
While it counts as normal behavior to want to scratch an irritated area of the body, this of course means that you need to address the underlying issue.
As our little ones get a bit older, we teach them that some activities are private and we prefer them not to do it in public. But your little one is way too young yet. The most important thing is not to make her feel bad about her body and her responses. Parents that make a big fuss about it and say no, or smack hands away, or say yucky, etc are teaching their children that their bodies and feelings are bad.
Your little girl is perfectly normal and healthy and it is really good for her to kick without clothes on, as it develops the muscles better.
If you are embarrassed when other people are around, you can always distract her with toys and attention and games such as peepo, etc, or simply keep her diapers or pants on when there are people around.
There will be so much to get her attention and for her to explore the more mobile she gets, you needn’t worry he would become obsessed with this lovely feeling she can create so innocently.
As I wrote above, a reason to worry would be if you think she might be grabbing her private parts because of irritation of pain. If she is red in the diaper area or there is a foul smell, or she seems irritated in some way, then definitely talk to a doctor.
Another reason to talk to a doctor, although this seems far-fetched in your case, is if the behavior would seem very age inappropriate or you are truly worried that your baby is reacting to stress or abuse.
Otherwise, I’d put it down to typical baby behavior and wait for it to pass so you can change her diapers in peace! It is a common behavior and completely normal.
Hey, moms and dads, can you relate? Add your comments below .
Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.
My mother saw my younger sister touch herself when she was three and told her ” sex is naughty ” yelled at her , now my sister is 31 , never married , no boyfriend and is involved in the purity movement of her own doing She told me she has no interest in sex and says it with a very defensive tone
Our mother still has a rigid attitude toward sex, she always said sex is for making babies only
I left home at 18 and got married, no kids by choice, my sister lives with mom and dad sometimes and aunt sometimes
Dad was never like this, mom controls dad but dad doesn’t mind
My granddaughter grabs her crutch area, really tenses up & seems to be in distress. She pants while this is happening and it seems almost like a a contraction. Once it passes she’ll carry on what she was doing but yesterday it seemed this was happening almost every 5 minutes I even gave her a bath to try to distract her (which she normally loves) but she continued the clutching of the vaginal area. I’ve had her to the Drs 2x but he just says it’s normal behaviour. It’s quite distressing to watch.
Hi Sara,
This sounds like she is in pain. She doesn’t have a diaper rash or other irritation? Or does she seem to enjoy in? In such a case, the Dr is right; it is normal behavior.
my granddaughter touches her self lots n seem itchy on her private ,which is now kinda red n puffy n smelly order I soaked her in tub for a bit hoping it will help her and put polysporn for itchy
Hi,plz I need advice.my baby is2yrs old and suddenly she finds it so enthusiastic to touch her private part. I have also check to see if I will find any bruises or pains around her private part but non.I also noticed that some times when I bathing her or trying to wipe her private parts and she starts to smile. plz do you think it’s natural feelings or is someone touching her which is making her to get aroused?
Why does a baby cry and scream when changing her diaper? She trys to cover her private parts and not let her self. We struggle putting her diaper on. Is it normal or is someone doing something to her.
Hi Daniel,
How old is your baby? I think “normal or not” depends a bit on her age.
I was relieved to see that it was not just my daughter having this behavior and for about the same amount of months as this lady’s child, my concern however is that her labia I suppose you call it is swollen at times, but I’m a little concerned bc it seems as though when she comes from being with a particular person who vibes don’t rub me the right way.
I’m not sure if I’m just being overly protective or if something is really going on. I always check to see how her private area looks before she leaves and once she returns and I noticed it was swollen, could this be from her having on a wet diaper too long? PLEASE HELP. thanks
Hello Jamika,
Even if you are not saying it straight out, I get the feeling that you believe that this “particular person” may be abusing your baby. Am I correct? If I am, you may be in a tough situation depending on who this person is.
If it is someone you can simply stop leaving your baby with, then do that immediately. Or at least make sure the person isn’t alone with your daughter. Your baby’s safety is far more important than the feelings of the adult in this case.
If you are separated and the particular person is the dad, who has the right to see his daughter, then it is a more difficult situation. I think there are a few things you should do immediately:
-Discuss with this person the fact that she is swollen and ask the person to change diapers more often. (Wet diapers can certainly be the reason.)
-Contact a support group in your area or country. In the US and Canada, there is a helpline available free of charge and anonymously 24/7, where you can get help. Their website is Childhelp.org and the toll-free number to call is 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453). They can also help to guide you regarding the next steps to take.
-Take your daughter to the doctor to check for fungus or other reasons for the swollen labia. You should know, however, that if you discuss the abuse with the doctor, he/she has a duty of care to report it, so you need to be pretty sure of the abuse in such case, otherwise, the whole situation can really spin out of control.
If you do seriously believe that your baby has been abused, you need to take action, regardless of who is the abusing person. Depending on who it is, it will be a tough time for you, so keep hold of all happy times with your daughter. Also, remember that abused children can get traumatized as much by the reactions of the family as they do from any abuse, so surround your daughter with love and keep her routines as normal as possible.
One last note (but an important one). The swollen labia may very well have absolutely nothing to do with abuse. It could be the diapers or possibly her scratching away. Look for other signs of abuse as well, such as pain, injuries or rashes . And remember to document everything.
I truly hope everything turns out to be worries for no reasons. Take care,
Paula
Thank you so very much, honestly you hit the nail right on. This feeling has been following me for a very long time and I have done all that I know to do including praying. I will call that support group and I too hope it is just something that was misread so to speak. I guess it bothered me bc this person would do and say things that seemed odd to me.
Again I thank you for the information you’ve given me.
You’re welcome, Jamika, I am glad to be of help in your difficult situation.
Let’s hope and pray that it is all a chimera!
Using diapers all the time will make the baby uncomfortable and prone to itching. Just imagine how you feel during ur periods while in pads all the time!!! And if the baby has to undergo it daily!!!!
Put diapers only when you go out. Start using underwears while at home and train ur kid to say about pissing or pooping..
My son is 2.5 years now. from his birth I use diapers only while taking him out and at home I wrap him in thick cloth and change it every time he pisses.. and after 6 months I started keeping him in the toilet asking to piss once in 30 minutes so that he gets used to it and eventually when he started walking he started using his potty on his own whenever he wants to piss or poop.. and completely stopped diapers even on a long journey when he was 1.5 yrs cuz he will surely tell me whenever he feels to piss os poop…
So best is to avoid diapers whenever you can…
Make sure she is clean and use distraction! Also use onesies – that will make the habit more dificult for her. Babies try all new things as they grow and can reach further. No need to worry about the behavior, but again, distract her with playing and interacting with her!
Hi! Welcome to Easy Baby Life – your one-stop shop for positive parenting tips and tools from pregnancy and on!


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