Pretty Fucking Tired
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Pretty Fucking Tired
“Tired” is about the stressed and scattered brain of every human out there. It’s about that era, that period, that moment in time we all go through where everything seems pointless and you feel like you’re drowning in an endless pit.
i cant get over the fact that that riff and this entire song is literally a cavetown song?????
Just found out about this song thru tiktok lol
pretty fucking tired - demon slayer manga edit - YouTube
beabadoobee – Tired Lyrics | Genius Lyrics
cause i'm getting pretty fucking tired - Chapter 1 - C0SMICNYU - Marvel...
Dirty Pretty Things (band) - Wikipedia
PoliMath в Твиттере: «It's been a slow burn, but I'm pretty fucking ...»
Rating:
Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning :
No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories:
F/M M/M
Fandoms:
Marvel Cinematic Universe The Avengers (Marvel Movies) Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Relationships:
Pepper Potts/Tony Stark Harley Keener/Peter Parker Peter Parker & Avengers Team Wanda Maximoff/Vision
Characters:
Peter Parker Harley Keener Tony Stark Pepper Potts Thor (Marvel) Bruce Banner Clint Barton Wanda Maximoff Steve Rogers James "Bucky" Barnes Sam Wilson (Marvel) James "Rhodey" Rhodes
Additional Tags:
Sad Peter Parker Peter Parker Needs a Hug Peter Parker Whump Precious Peter Parker Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure Hurt Peter Parker Harley Keener is a Good Bro Not Beta Read
Language:
English
Series:
← Previous Work Part 2 of the marvelverse series Next Work →
Stats:
Published: 2020-12-28 Updated: 2021-01-18 Words: 3020 Chapters: 2/3 Comments: 5 Kudos: 103 Bookmarks: 10 Hits: 1893
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The people of New York saw Spiderman as an optimistic and kind person, always down to help old ladies cross the street and still bust crime rings in alleyways. The Avengers saw Peter Parker as a ray of sunshine who could do no wrong, respecting everyone in any way he can.
But damn, Peter was so fucking tired.
warning: descriptions of depression (in my understanding and experience) triggering scenes
(maybe leave a comment/kudos if u feel like it :D)
The people of New York saw Spiderman as an optimistic and kind person, always down to help old ladies cross the street and still bust crime rings in alleyways. The Avengers saw Peter Parker as a ray of sunshine who could do no wrong, respecting everyone in any way he can.
They didn’t see the sadness that lingered in his eyes when he stared into nothingness for too long. They didn’t see him stiffen in the middle of conversations, fear flashing in his eyes when there was nothing to fear but his own memories.
Damn, Peter was
so fucking tired.
He was trying so fucking hard to get through the days, surviving every day without the will to even try. He was so detached from everything cause he couldn’t even feel anything anymore other than constant fear and the daunting sadness.
It was like there was this gaping hole in his chest that he couldn’t fill. He didn’t even feel alive anymore. At this point, the only time he could feel was when he was sobbing into his sheets and the sadness just overtook his entire being.
He came to a consensus. He finally understood the difference between living and just existing. He was existing as he powered through the days, surviving without any motivation and going through supposedly normal things with so much effort it feels illegal. He understood. This was existing, not living.
He still performed his Spiderman duties, patrolling and saving kittens from trees. He still appeared in family dinners, keeping one ear open in case his name was mentioned. He would fake enthusiastic chatter so they wouldn’t get suspicious.
It was exhausting but what wasn’t in his life?
He opened his eyes and fell into his routine, doing things to make sure that he looks presentable. He couldn’t burden anybody. He had to deal with his shitty problems himself.
Peter stared into the mirror, dull eyes looking back at him. Purple bruise-like eyebags were looking heavy under his eyes and he looked paler than usual. He was a mess and he couldn’t let anybody see that.
He sighed and took a quick shower, lightly squeezing his cheeks for some color to pop on his face. He grinned at his reflection, like he always does when he was in the presence of his surrogate family.
He exited his room and made way for the elevator, no intentions on eating breakfast. He was immediately caught by Harley, who was in a daze. He looked like he just woke up, given the messy state of his hair.
Upon seeing Peter, a wide grin broke on the teen’s face. Harley immediately glomped Peter, the younger teen melting into the affectionate hug. He loved Harley’s hugs. They were always warm, welcoming and felt like home. It was a privilege he used to abuse and now he remembers why.
“You’ve been a busy teen, Pete. I haven’t seen you in forever! Have you eaten?” Harley asked, eyeing Peter’s state with a frown.
Peter shrugged. “I have an apple in my bag.”
“That’s not breakfast. Let’s go to the kitchen.”
“Not in the mood for breakfast, Harley.”
The blonde teen’s eyes narrowed. Peter never skipped breakfast. It was a rule in the tower to make sure that Peter got all the necessary nutrients in breakfast cause of his enhanced metabolism. Any skipped meal was stunting, decreasing his efficiency and processing time.
And he never used Harley’s name unless it was a serious thing. It was princess or potato boy or tater tot or Keener or Harles.
Harley
was rarely a word in Peter’s vocabulary.
“Pete, are you okay? You’ve been avoiding everyone.”
You've been avoiding me.
The underlying message in Harley’s statement was loud and clear in the hurt tone he used with Peter.
The younger teen winced. “I'm not avoiding anyone. I'm just busy. Please drop it Harley. I’m gonna be late.”
Frustration seeped on Harley’s face before he sighed and let go of Peter’s hand. “We’re talking later. Don't even think of patrolling tonight, or else I’m talking to Auntie Nat.” Harley threatened.
Peter nodded and was engulfed in one more hug before promptly getting shoved into the elevator.
The day passed quickly, Peter unable to focus on anything again. Beside him, Ned watched warily. The Filipino boy sent MJ a worried glance before turning to Peter.
“Pete.” He said softly, placing his hand on Peter’s shoulder.
The boy flinched, eyes wide. “I'm sorry. What was that?”
Ned and MJ shared discreet looks, MJ pushing Peter’s tray towards him. “Eat, loser. Loser 2 is worried.”
A guilty look flashed on Peter’s face. He was being a burden to someone again. “Sorry. Don't worry about me.” He sent them a weak smile before shoveling a spoonful of food into his mouth.
After a few bites, he felt his stomach cramp. These were the consequences of not eating regularly. His body was beginning to reject and his stomach probably shrunk.
He chugged the water, hoping to get rid of the awful feeling of stomach acid rising up his throat. He rested his head on Ned’s shoulder, a blank look on his face.
Ned sported a worried look and put his arm around his best friend. “You're gonna be okay, Pete. We’ve got you.”
It sucks that Peter was tuning things out.
School ended and he was picked up from school at the usual time. The drive to the tower was quiet, which was a dead giveaway to Happy. Peter really wasn't doing well. He looked at the teen through the overhead mirror, his face looking sunken. He looked sick, underfed.
Peter wasn’t supposed to be somber. He was the life of the party, constant chatter and exuberant gestures.
Happy dropped him off, placing his hand on the teen’s shoulder before he got out. Peter looked at the head of security with a confused look.
Happy just gave him a small smile and a pat to the back before letting him out. Peter watched the car drive away before he entered the SI tower.
He got in the elevator and leaned on the wall. “Hello Peter. I have already informed your family that you have arrived. They are all waiting for you in the dining room. Shall I bring you to them?” FRIDAY said, her voice filling the white noise.
“Command denied. Tony says you must come. We have arrived at the Avengers floor.”
Peter sighed. There was no turning back now. He could easily hack into FRIDAY and override all of Tony’s commands but he was absolutely drained and just wanted to sleep.
He dropped his bag on the sofa and approached the dining room, already feeling the heavy atmosphere within.
“He’s been avoiding us?” Wanda’s hurt voice reached his ears, jolting something inside him.
“He looked… sick.” Harley whispered. “I don't know what’s going on. MJ and Ned told me he’s been eating less, spacing out, less active.”
Peter froze. MJ and Ned snitched. Harley noticed something. MJ and Ned told Harley and Harley told them. Harley told them.
Harley told them.
“Peter has arrived. It is time for dinner.” FRIDAY’s voice rang through the penthouse, announcing Peter’s arrival. Everyone’s eyes snapped in his direction, Peter looking like a deer caught in headlights.
“Peter…” Natasha’s soft voice hit Peter’s ears, his brain screaming and telling him to get out.
So he jumped out of the window, 96 stories above. He heard startled yells behind him as he swung into the night, mask pulled on tight.
He felt the drowning feeling. It was like he was being held down, shoved neck deep into freezing water. He took gulps of air but none of them reached his lungs and it felt like he was dying.
He miscalculated on one of his swings and ended up free falling. He shut his eyes as he fell, only to fall into metal arms.
They landed on the roof of an apartment complex and Peter immediately scrambled out of the arms of whoever caught him. He sat up and pulled his mask off, taking deep breaths. The crash shoved his panic attack aside and now he could feel the pain shooting up his arm.
He looked up to see Harley Keener in all his glory, wearing his Iron Lad suit.
Peter backtracked with his good arm, trying to put some distance between them. Harley wore what he was feeling very well, the concern and sadness was easily spotted on his face.
“Peter, darling… I’m not going to hurt you. I’m here to help. Let me help.”
A sob racked through his body, echoing in the dark night. Harley inched closer and wrapped his arms around the younger teen. “You can’t help me, Harley! I’m so fucked up! I can’t feel anything but desolation. I feel like everything is pointless and I just wanna disappear.” Those wide doe eyes looked up at the blonde, tears in them. “I’m broken, Harley. You can’t fix me.”
“I don’t need to fix you, Pete. We’re humans, we make mistakes. It just takes a small shove in the right direction. We’re here to help. We’re all here to catch you every time you fall.” Harley ran his hands through his curly hair. “I got you, darling. Let’s go home.”
Harley walked into the penthouse with Peter in his arms, dead asleep.
“Oh my god, where’d you find him?” Pepper asked, immediately caressing the side of her son’s face.
“He was free falling in New York and I caught him.” Harley said softly. “He… He should rest first. I’ll go tuck him in.”
The adults nodded and let him go to the elevator, the compartment shooting up to Peter’s floor.
They watched apprehensively, waiting for Peter to wake up and hoping that they could finally talk to their kid.
