Pregnant Swingers

Pregnant Swingers

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Get ready to blush—and nod and smile. Because no matter how racy, weird, or dull you think your sex life was during pregnancy, other women shared the same experiences—or topped them.

From wild fantasies to OMG orgasms: We asked and you answered, divulging all of the funny, funky things that went down between the sheets when you were expecting.

Read on to learn what pregnancy sex is really like.

Confession number one? Some 46 percent of you went libido loco during pregnancy.

"I wanted my husband morning, noon, and night," one respondent says. Another woman said, "My libido went way up in the second trimester."

That may be because of increased blood flow to the pelvic region, surging hormones, having more sensitive (and probably bigger!) breasts, and maybe even the freedom from birth control. "Some women are very sexual, highly orgasmic, and their sex is better than ever during pregnancy," says obstetrician Lauren F. Streicher, M.D., author of Love Sex Again .

But 54 percent of you were mostly not in the mood at all for sex. "Some just don't feel sexy, they may be uncomfortable... there's just no universal rule," Dr. Streicher says. Moving on.

We asked about the more offbeat places (or times) you did the deed—and 140 of you 'fessed up. Some of you stayed sexy at home—doing it in the shower, in the car, on the porch, on the kitchen counter, or, as one woman said, "mostly in every room in the house!"

Many—and we mean many —of you boldly took your lovemaking public: in a park, at a movie theater, in a Target fitting room, on a hotel balcony, on a ballpark bench, on railroad tracks, at an amphitheater, and on a four-wheeler in a field. One woman had sex in a doughnut delivery truck, between racks full of donuts. Another couple did it at their ob-gyn's office. Yet another couple pulled over for romps in their car a whopping five times in one day on a road trip from Washington State to Idaho. What a ride!

For some of you, the fantasy was a different partner—your ex, your neighbor, Brad Pitt, David Beckham, even George Costanza (what?!). One woman imagined a doctor "getting fresh" during an exam. Many of you dreamed of getting it on with other women and having threesomes. (Some of you acted on it!)

Then there was role-play—naughty Santa elf at Christmas, prison guard and inmate, and a stripper who took it to the next level.

Some 11 percent of you followed in the footsteps of bold celebs like Demi Moore, Heidi Klum, Britney Spears, and Christina Aguilera by posing for a portrait in the buff—just you and your baby belly. More than 2 percent of you made a homemade sex tape (our advice: Label it something like "Dad's colonoscopy"), and nearly 7 percent of you both posed nude and made a hot sex vid. Way to feel great about your pregnancy body!

Forty-two percent of you had sex near your due date to help kick-start labor. One woman did the deed right before delivery with triplets. Although it's still a mystery as to what exactly triggers labor, getting busy might help. As Dr. Streicher explains, "if you're having sex close to term and he's pushing up against the cervix and prostaglandins are released, it could potentially move things along."

Five percent of you craved variety. "I had dreams all the time of being with other men," one woman wrote. Another woman wrote, "I used to fantasize that I'd get stuck in an elevator with a handsome man and he'd be unable to resist my giant boobs!" At least one woman fulfilled this desire, doing a full couple swap. "Love it!" she wrote.

More than 95 percent of you kept your eyes on your partner though. As one respondent wrote, "I felt such a magical connection to my partner because I was carrying his child."

Some of you preferred business as usual, but plenty of you wanted things rougher, harder, and in new and different positions. "Sometimes [breast stimulation] was the only thing he had to do to push me over the top," one woman wrote. And for some respondents, the back door became interesting. "I wanted so badly to try double penetration," one woman wrote. "We used a vibrator for the 'double' part!"

Forty-seven percent of you said your orgasms were "off the charts" during pregnancy. And many of you found it easier to achieve the big O.

"My whole body was more sensitive," one woman wrote. Another woman said was able to orgasm multiple times from nipple stimulation alone.

For another respondent, the back door did the trick: "The orgasms were amazing," she said. Yet another respondent wrote, "My orgasms were so intense that I cried and even drooled! It was so much stimulation, happy tears just started coming out of me!"

Some 23 percent didn't want it ever. "I didn't want my husband near me!" one woman wrote. For some women, pain was a factor. "I hated it. It hurt. A lot," one woman wrote. Other respondents just felt too uncomfortable to get their sexy on. And then there were women who wanted to be cautious: "It was my first, so I was afraid to hurt the baby," one woman wrote. "I felt like I was in a very fragile and kind of saintly state, so I couldn't even think dirty thoughts."

There was a lot of spooning, a lot of woman-on-top, and a lot of doggy style sex as bellies got bigger. "At the end, we had to do it bent over the sink," one woman wrote. These alternate positions had some perks: "I fell in love with doggy style because it not only took the pressure off my growing belly," one respondent wrote, "but it left his hands free to give me some much-needed other simulation."

"I asked my doctor if it was okay to use my vibrator, being as far along as I was, and he said, 'If it feels good, do it!' And so I did!" wrote one respondent. Movies came into play as well. Some of you watched a lot of porn! Then there were handcuffs and a swing (we're not sure if those were used separately or together). One woman even suited up in lingerie with well-placed holes.

"Several times my hubby would suck on my breasts and get colostrum," one woman wrote. "Once it shot the back of his throat so hard it made him choke!" For some of you, sex triggered contractions and false labor.

For still others, there was a little extra, um, lubrication. "I would squirt when I had an orgasm," one woman wrote. "Sometimes it was so bad that we would lay towels down first!" Wrote one woman: "I was 38 weeks' pregnant and we were trying hard to stimulate labor, so we had sex and then we used a toy. I came so hard that I completely lost control of my body...There was a huge gush and I went to the hospital because I thought my water broke. But I honestly peed myself and didn't know it. It was embarrassing but so funny!"

Some of you made small discoveries—that you liked being on top, that your partner liked being on top, that you prefer hard sex over sweet, slow sex, or even that you're a fan of the back-door option.

Others had bigger revelations: "Experimenting with getting others involved was hot," one woman wrote. "We both realized that being a swinger is a great experience and made our marriage stronger and sex life hotter."

On the sweeter side, many of you forged a more solid bond with your partner. "I learned how much my husband cared about me," one woman wrote. Another summed up the potential for lovemaking during these nine months: "We both had so much fun during pregnancy—it was an amazing, intimate time and we always smile together when we talk about it!"

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February 24, 2020 at 11:00am AM EST

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More stories to check out before you go
Believe me: I did not start out my pregnancy intending to go to an orgy . I didn’t even start out that evening intending to go to an orgy. I had never participated in an orgy before, and if you’d asked me at the time, I probably would have found the idea overwhelming. I’d been in a few threesomes , and even three bodies was almost too many to keep track of.
But I did sometimes go to kissing parties. Yes, there are parties where the express purpose is to kiss people. They’re delightful. It’s like being back at college, but with less vomiting.
I’ll admit I don’t remember the exact thought process that led me to go to a kissing party while I was pregnant , but I bet it was something like this: Pregnancy made me horny . I loved how I looked with my baby bump when I took my long hair down, and I felt sexy as hell. I’m also a big believer in taking advantage of unique life experiences whenever they present themselves, so when I found myself both pregnant and single, it just seemed logical to go out into the world and seek out fun, sexy encounters that would make for good stories later.
So my friend Didi and I found ourselves at a kissing party in the upstairs area of a trendy downtown bar chatting up a guy wearing Virgin Mary pants. (Just to be clear, “Virgin Mary pants” does mean “pants covered with the image of the Virgin Mary.”) We’ll call him Pablo. Pablo was sexy and a good kisser and owned a string of hotels in Argentina or something. When he found out that I was pregnant, he suddenly snapped to attention: “Wow, I’ve always had a fantasy about having sex with a pregnant woman.”
Cut to the end of the kissing party. The bar is closing down. Pablo, Didi and I have both made out with a lot of people by this point. Pablo takes me aside and says, “Hey, if you and Didi want to keep hanging out, there’s a bunch of us going to my loft a couple blocks from here, you know. There’s a hot tub on the roof… you guys want to come?”
Pregnant women are not supposed to go in hot tubs. I did not know that. I just heard the words “hot tub on the roof” and immediately said yes. Again, I’m a big believer in taking advantage of unique life experiences when they present themselves. How could I turn down such an auspicious invitation?
So it’s me, Pablo, Didi, Pablo’s friend Cassie (a reiki practitioner) and a couple we’ll call Rob and Emma. We get to Pablo’s loft, and, like… I guess the hotel business in Argentina is a pretty good gig, because this place was ridiculous. It was huge even by non-New York City standards, exquisitely decorated, everything was automated and so on. And yes, there was a hot tub on the roof. (We didn’t go in. It was cold. This was in March or something.)
Didi and I were awestruck. As struggling theater artists, we both just aspired to live in apartments with windows that didn’t look out directly onto brick walls. We stood on the staircase together giggling in shock: “Dude, fuck art! Look at this place!”
Pablo thought I looked so nice with my pregnant belly in my red dress, he asked if he could take my picture, and I said yes.
Then the six of us all convened in a room called “the soft room.” The soft room is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a room that’s soft. Everything in it is soft. The floor is basically one big mattress. It’s the ideal room for napping, having a tantrum or — let’s just say — group sex.
So Pablo, Didi and I all started kissing. Around this point is when I started thinking, “All right, Pablo, take it easy on the pregnancy-fetish thing.” He was obsessed with my naked pregnant body, at one point actually saying the words, “Mmm, pregnant boobies.” I am not making that up; that’s literally a thing that he said.
Enter Rob, gorgeous Rob, who I don’t remember saying a single word before that point, though I know he must have. But Rob and I ended up in a corner of our own, where he went down on me for about a year. Rob was good at what he did. Like, he might have been a sex robot. I have no idea how many orgasms I had, but it was a sizable number. Every now and then I looked over at our cohorts: Pablo doing Didi from behind or Cassie doing Emma with a strap-on. They were beautifully lit up by the fireplace and obviously having a wonderful time, but Rob and I were in our own little world.
Eventually, he decided that was the end of that, and after I gave him the thank-you kiss to end all thank-you kisses, went to go check on Emma. I was honestly a bit sad about that. I wanted to pay this guy back like it was my job — or, you know, at least cuddle. “Call me,” I wanted to say (but I did not).
I went to the bathroom and took a breather, and once I’d gotten some space from the soft room, I realized that what I actually wanted was to go home. I didn’t particularly want Pablo to turn his attention back to my “pregnant boobies” — I wanted to come down from this bizarre evening. I went out to the soft room and saw to my relief that Didi was starting to get dressed. So I got dressed with her.
When I said goodbye to Pablo, he asked, “Can we just have sex real quick before you go?”
I said no, and he expressed his disappointment: “Having sex with a pregnant woman is my one fantasy I haven’t done yet.” I said we would totally have sex sometime. (I lied.) And Didi and I got into his elevator and left.
Even though it was kind of icky to have my body fetishized like that and even though my interaction with Rob left me a little lonely, I am so glad that I went to an orgy while I was pregnant.
It was incredibly important to me to keep being who I was and living my life, even as another life grew inside of me. To keep experiencing pleasure as my body underwent transformations, to keep exploring the world in all its strangeness and beauty. To say, “This pregnancy does not define me, and I’m going to keep showing up for adventure and delight.” So that’s exactly what I did.
A version of this story was originally published in September 2017.
If you’re not quite in the orgy market (yet) but are looking for a way to spice up your prenatal sex life, here are our best picks for pregnancy-friendly sex toys .
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