Pregnant Swinger
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Pregnant Swinger
first cut Caught my girl in bed with another man... then he did something I didn't expect
SEX WITH SISTER I had sex with my sister and now we are having a full-on relationship
HOTEL HELL My girl's wild step-sister seduced me in toilets and I'm disgusted with myself
Little secret My brother-in-law is my daughter's real father... and my husband has no idea
Read Deidre's personal replies to today's problems
DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD too much to drink and had sex with four different guys.
It was totally crazy and fun but now I’m pregnant and panicking.
I’m 17 and just started a BTEC at college. This summer has been really boring for me, as there isn’t a lot going on in town.
Then my mate said she had met a hot guy in the pub and he had invited us both to a really big party a few miles away. I told my mum I was spending the night at my friend’s then we got on the bus.
It was in a huge house and there was no one else there of our age — everyone looked older, in their twenties.
I felt nervous and had a few drinks to help me relax.
A good-looking guy smiled at me. The music was loud and he shouted: “Let’s go somewhere else so we can hear ourselves speak.”
He led me upstairs and said I looked hot. We talked for a while then he kissed me and stroked my bare leg.
He shared a spliff with me, which made me feel funny. He pushed me gently down on to the bed and we had sex. I fell asleep for a while, then he woke me with the noise he made leaving the room.
He never came back but some other guy opened the door and asked if I was OK. We chatted. I felt safer upstairs in the bedroom than in the downstairs rooms, which were noisy and mad.
This guy seemed really nice and he wanted sex, too. It felt exciting and kind of unreal, like this was a movie and I was just watching myself from the stalls. Two other guys then came in and seemed to be friends of his. The rest of the evening is a blur but I know I had sex with those guys, too.
My friend woke me up around 4am, asking what had been happening. I got a bus home with her in the morning feeling really hungover and weird.
I’ve now found out I’m pregnant and that makes me happy but frightened as well. I know I’ll be a great mum but don’t know which one of the guys is the dad or how I’d find them.
I don’t think I could even find the house again.
DIFFERENT sex drives can be a common problem for couples.
It can be biological or may mask other related issues.
My e-leaflet Different Sex Drives explains self-help. To get a copy, email me at problems@deardeidre.org or private message me on Facebook.
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m very worried for you. That was such a risky night out. Those guys should never have had sex with you in that state. In the eyes of the law, it was probably rape.
If you want to talk over your feelings about this, contact Rape Crisis ( rapecrisis.org.uk , 0808 802 9999).
But the pregnancy is your most urgent problem. You’re just 17, still at college and still living at home with your mum. Do you really think you could cope with a baby? Have you thought about how it would change your whole life?
Please don’t let more time drift on by without seeking advice.
I’m sending you my e-leaflet Unplanned Pregnancy, which explains your options.
Got a problem? Send an email to problems@deardeidre.org . Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
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Dear Doc: Pregnant after wife swapping
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Q. My wife and I have enjoyed a pretty happy sexual relationship with another couple for around five years. Neither of us have children.
But now there is trouble. Last month, my wife forgot to take her Pill for three or four days, and now she is pregnant. Of course, we do not know who the father is.
As far as we can remember, I had sex with her on the night that she missed the first pill. And the other man had sex with her on the day that she missed the last Pill.
From this information, can you tell me which one of us is the father?
A. No, I am afraid I cannot. Forgive my saying so, but your story does illustrate the point that I have made before in this column: 'wife-swapping' is dangerous.
It does make me wonder why your wife suddenly forgot several pills. Did she perhaps have some secret desire to get pregnant - either by you or by the other man?
Regardless of that, there is no way of determining who the father is until the child is born. After that, it will be possible to do DNA testing.
I hope you are successful in sorting out what is clearly a very difficult situation.
Q. Hello , Doc. I would like you to give me some good advice about 'multiple female orgasms'.
I am a married woman with two children, ages four and six. I have always thought that I had a very good sex life with my husband. When we first got together, I could not orgasm. But now I do it almost every time.
I thought that my husband was pretty satisfied with our lovelife, however, recently he has been talking a lot about 'multiple orgasms'. And he keeps asking me why I do not have them!
He says that before we got married, he had numerous girlfriends, and he claims that 'nearly all of them' had multiple orgasms.
Can this be true, Doc? And is there any chance at all that I could achieve these 'multiple orgasms?'
AIt seems to me like the important thing here is, do you actually want to have multiple orgasms? Or would you be doing them just to please your husband?
I am not at all sure that a woman should be trying to have multiple orgasms just for the amusement of her spouse! Also, the fact is that after just one orgasm, quite a lot of women are tired and don't really wish to do any more.
However, many other wives do love the idea of being what is termed 'multi-orgasmic'. And if that is what you'd like to be, then fair enough! So I will try and give you some useful advice.
Until a generation ago, many doctors and sex educators thought that most women could not be multiorgasmic. But recent research in England suggests that, under the right circumstances, most women can do it - especially if they have a partner whom they love and trust. The ability to have multiple orgasms seems to increase with age, and is much more common with women who are in there 40s than those in their 20s.
But what are 'the right circumstances' for multiple orgasm? They are as follows:
- The woman needs to be relaxed and happy.
- The environment should be comfortable and romantic.
- Most important, the man should know how to make a woman orgasm.
Sadly, even today, there are many men who really have no idea how to make a woman climax. They think that if they just keep on having intercourse, that should be enough. It isn't.
The actual truth (which every married man should know) is that if you want your wife to have more than one orgasm, it is up to you to stimulate her clitoris. The clitoral area is the most sensitive zone on the female body. No other anatomical structure produces climaxes.
So I feel that you should now sit down and talk to your husband. Tell him that if he really wants you to have multiple orgasms, then the answer lies in his own hands.
Q. I am an unmarried 30-year-old man. Last month, I went on a business trip to London, England, and on my last evening there, some English pals took me to what they called a 'massage parlour .'
Doc, I am rather ashamed to admit to what happened there. This beautiful woman gave me a 'hand job.'
What I am worrying about now is whether I could have picked up any kind of sex infection. Can you please advise?
A. Seems like you did not have oral sex (or indeed 'full' sex) with this young woman. Therefore, you are in no danger of a sexually-transmitted infection.
Except in the most extraordinary circumstances, contact with the hand cannot pass on any kind of sexually transmitted disease. So stop worrying.
Q. Doctor , I recently got married to a man whom I love very much. But sexually, things are still rather 'tight.'
So I tried to get some help from the Internet. And I found an American site with advise on what they called 'self-examination in order to relax.'
I did this last night, although I found it difficult. But I was horrified to find that when I put my finger inside, there was some big, soft lump. It was about as far as I could reach.
Do you think it is some kind of cancer, Doc?
A. Well, a lot of experts in the field of sexual medicine do say that 'self-examination' is a good way of learning to relax the vagina and the muscles around it.
I am sorry that you got a shock when you found this 'big, soft lump' at the far end of your vagina. But I am sure that this was just your cervix. Quite a few women get surprised when they first feel the soft 'nose-like' projection of the cervix.
I suggest that you now you go to an understanding and experienced doctor, and get her to examine you. She will confirm for you that this lump is indeed just the cervix. And she can show you ways in which you can relax the entire pelvic area, so that you will be able to really enjoy sex with your husband.
Q. I have very heavy menses, which makes sex with my boyfriend impossible for much of the month. My doctor has suggested that I agree to one of those Mirena coil things.
But my best friend says that a coil makes periods heavier. So what should I do, Doc?
A. Your friend is partly correct. The ordinary coil (the 'loop') does usually make the menses heavier and longer.
But the Mirena 'intra-uterine system' (IUS) is different, because it contains a special hormone. The effect of that is to lessen the volume of blood loss, and often shorten the period as well. Also, period pain may be reduced.
Please note that it may be several months before you see these good effects.
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February 24, 2020 at 11:00am AM EST
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Believe me: I did not start out my pregnancy intending to go to an orgy . I didn’t even start out that evening intending to go to an orgy. I had never participated in an orgy before, and if you’d asked me at the time, I probably would have found the idea overwhelming. I’d been in a few threesomes , and even three bodies was almost too many to keep track of.
But I did sometimes go to kissing parties. Yes, there are parties where the express purpose is to kiss people. They’re delightful. It’s like being back at college, but with less vomiting.
I’ll admit I don’t remember the exact thought process that led me to go to a kissing party while I was pregnant , but I bet it was something like this: Pregnancy made me horny . I loved how I looked with my baby bump when I took my long hair down, and I felt sexy as hell. I’m also a big believer in taking advantage of unique life experiences whenever they present themselves, so when I found myself both pregnant and single, it just seemed logical to go out into the world and seek out fun, sexy encounters that would make for good stories later.
So my friend Didi and I found ourselves at a kissing party in the upstairs area of a trendy downtown bar chatting up a guy wearing Virgin Mary pants. (Just to be clear, “Virgin Mary pants” does mean “pants covered with the image of the Virgin Mary.”) We’ll call him Pablo. Pablo was sexy and a good kisser and owned a string of hotels in Argentina or something. When he found out that I was pregnant, he suddenly snapped to attention: “Wow, I’ve always had a fantasy about having sex with a pregnant woman.”
Cut to the end of the kissing party. The bar is closing down. Pablo, Didi and I have both made out with a lot of people by this point. Pablo takes me aside and says, “Hey, if you and Didi want to keep hanging out, there’s a bunch of us going to my loft a couple blocks from here, you know. There’s a hot tub on the roof… you guys want to come?”
Pregnant women are not supposed to go in hot tubs. I did not know that. I just heard the words “hot tub on the roof” and immediately said yes. Again, I’m a big believer in taking advantage of unique life experiences when they present themselves. How could I turn down such an auspicious invitation?
So it’s me, Pablo, Didi, Pablo’s friend Cassie (a reiki practitioner) and a couple we’ll call Rob and Emma. We get to Pablo’s loft, and, like… I guess the hotel business in Argentina is a pretty good gig, because this place was ridiculous. It was huge even by non-New York City standards, exquisitely decorated, everything was automated and so on. And yes, there was a hot tub on the roof. (We didn’t go in. It was cold. This was in March or something.)
Didi and I were awestruck. As struggling theater artists, we both just aspired to live in apartments with windows that didn’t look out directly onto brick walls. We stood on the staircase together giggling in shock: “Dude, fuck art! Look at this place!”
Pablo thought I looked so nice with my pregnant belly in my red dress, he asked if he could take my picture, and I said yes.
Then the six of us all convened in a room called “the soft room.” The soft room is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a room that’s soft. Everything in it is soft. The floor is basically one big mattress. It’s the ideal room for napping, having a tantrum or — let’s just say — group sex.
So Pablo, Didi and I all started kissing. Around this point is when I started thinking, “All right, Pablo, take it easy on the pregnancy-fetish thing.” He was obsessed with my naked pregnant body, at one point actually saying the words, “Mmm, pregnant boobies.” I am not making that up; that’s literally a thing that he said.
Enter Rob, gorgeous Rob, who I don’t remember saying a single word before that point, though I know he must have. But Rob and I ended up in a corner of our own, where he went down on me for about a year. Rob was good at what he did. Like, he might have been a sex robot. I have no idea how many orgasms I had, but it was a sizable number. Every now and then I looked over at our cohorts: Pablo doing Didi from behind or Cassie doing Emma with a strap-on. They were beautifully lit up by the fireplace and obviously having a wonderful time, but Rob and I were in our own little world.
Eventually, he decided that was the end of that, and after I gave him the thank-you kiss to end all thank-you kisses, went to go check on Emma. I was honestly a bit sad about that. I wanted to pay this guy back like it was my job — or, you know, at least cuddle. “Call me,” I wanted to say (but I did not).
I went to the bathroom and took a breather, and once I’d gotten some space from the soft room, I realized that what I actually wanted was to go home. I didn’t particularly want Pablo to turn his
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