Pregnant Party

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Pregnant Party
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A strange trend in the world of pregnancy and fertility has popped up. I’m not sure I’m for a get pregnant party. What do you think?
I had no idea this was a trending thing. A “get pregnant party”?
I can attest this is a very real party trend. I’ve seen people coming to my site from this Google search and I’ve read about it on forums like Baby Center.
Does anyone else think this is kind of a weird trend?
At first thought, the idea of a get pregnant party kinda creeps me out. But beyond that, I kind of worry about the potential for disappointment and feeling of failure. Not to mention the added pressure that will come with everyone knowing your conception plans.
As an invitee, I think it’s weird. Unless you’re my best friend who regularly shares intimate details of your life, I’m not sure I need (or want) to know you and your husband are trying to conceive (TTC). I don’t want to sit around a table toasting to your sex life. It’s bad enough I know what you have to do to have gotten pregnant. I don’t want to celebrate and toast to the deed ahead of time. Seriously, just strange in my mind.
As a parent myself, I remember telling some individuals that we were planning to have a baby. Those individuals could be trusted to be supportive, caring, and understanding if things didn’t go well. I couldn’t have imagined sharing the news with all my friends and family, no matter how close they were.
It was a private event. Not to mention, the first time we decided to have a baby, I struggled with my fertility. At the time, I was learning that my cycles were off, which made TTC’ing much more of a chore. I really had to make some major changes in order to get pregnant naturally . I may have cried to one close friend about my pregnancy journey at the time. But, she was the one person I could trust to not put pressure on me.
The thing about trying to conceive, in my mind, is that there’s already so much pressure. That which we place on ourselves because we’re finally ready to have a baby. The pressure we receive from our own parents hoping to become grandparents. And an unspoken pressure from society to have children … because it’s just what we’re expected to do once we’re married.
I can’t wrap my mind around how much added pressure there would be if we invited everyone to a party proclaiming we’re TTC’ing. If we struggled with fertility, would I be expected to let everyone know? Would I not feel like a failure if it didn’t happen?
What if I never could get pregnant? Would I need to throw a big pity party and invite all the get pregnant party attendees?
Sure, perhaps I’d have a larger support system to cry to in the event we experienced long term fertility issues. But, that was really private, too. And I would have preferred to keep it between those I felt wouldn’t have such an emotional investment in it.
No, guys, I chose to keep our TTC plans semi-private. I saved the excitement for the day I could tell everyone I was finally expecting a baby! I wanted to see Grandmas’ faces light up at the news. I wanted to hear the excitement in their voices. I wanted the huge hug from my dad who’d been waiting to spoil new grandbabies.
I didn’t want pity when things weren’t going as planned. I didn’t want the questions. I just needed to be left alone until the time was right. Because, for me, it was easier to handle the waiting not feeling as though I was letting someone down.
Now, that’s my whole thought process on a get pregnant party.
But, my friend Echo helped me see why throwing a “ getting pregnant party ” might be a sweet idea for a friend who is struggling to TTC. Plus, she’s shared a few gift ideas for friends that are trying to conceive .
I'm a work-from-home (previously stay-at-home) mom of two beautiful children and married since 2009. I love sharing my experiences in natural birth, parenting and marriage and providing support for families in these areas. When I'm not busy with work and family, you might find me blogging, out at a race track, or on a Rally course.
I’m not sure you’re thinking about this like a lot of people searching for it. The idea as I understand is for women that aren’t married, and can’t afford artificial insemination, that want to get pregnant. They arrange a party with prescreened men to have anonymous unprotected group sex with while ovulating, increasing the odds of getting pregnant, while making it impossible to identify which of dozens of men, are the father.
Well, your comment is rather interesting. When I researched the topic prior to writing about it, I found articles and forums discussing exactly what I wrote about. None of my reading even remotely hinted at what you’re suggesting. I don’t even know what more to say, other than, thank you for your interesting comment.
I'm a wife and stay at home mom to 2 amazing ( high-need ) kids. I spend my days trying to figure out how to do this parenting thing and still get everything done. But, I'm more than just a mom. I'm here to share my secrets for women who are looking for ways to give time to themselves, their husbands, and their kids. Click here to learn more about SAHM, plus...
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first cut Caught my girl in bed with another man... then he did something I didn't expect
SEX WITH SISTER I had sex with my sister and now we are having a full-on relationship
HOTEL HELL My girl's wild step-sister seduced me in toilets and I'm disgusted with myself
Little secret My brother-in-law is my daughter's real father... and my husband has no idea
Read Deidre's personal replies to today's problems
DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD too much to drink and had sex with four different guys.
It was totally crazy and fun but now I’m pregnant and panicking.
I’m 17 and just started a BTEC at college. This summer has been really boring for me, as there isn’t a lot going on in town.
Then my mate said she had met a hot guy in the pub and he had invited us both to a really big party a few miles away. I told my mum I was spending the night at my friend’s then we got on the bus.
It was in a huge house and there was no one else there of our age — everyone looked older, in their twenties.
I felt nervous and had a few drinks to help me relax.
A good-looking guy smiled at me. The music was loud and he shouted: “Let’s go somewhere else so we can hear ourselves speak.”
He led me upstairs and said I looked hot. We talked for a while then he kissed me and stroked my bare leg.
He shared a spliff with me, which made me feel funny. He pushed me gently down on to the bed and we had sex. I fell asleep for a while, then he woke me with the noise he made leaving the room.
He never came back but some other guy opened the door and asked if I was OK. We chatted. I felt safer upstairs in the bedroom than in the downstairs rooms, which were noisy and mad.
This guy seemed really nice and he wanted sex, too. It felt exciting and kind of unreal, like this was a movie and I was just watching myself from the stalls. Two other guys then came in and seemed to be friends of his. The rest of the evening is a blur but I know I had sex with those guys, too.
My friend woke me up around 4am, asking what had been happening. I got a bus home with her in the morning feeling really hungover and weird.
I’ve now found out I’m pregnant and that makes me happy but frightened as well. I know I’ll be a great mum but don’t know which one of the guys is the dad or how I’d find them.
I don’t think I could even find the house again.
DIFFERENT sex drives can be a common problem for couples.
It can be biological or may mask other related issues.
My e-leaflet Different Sex Drives explains self-help. To get a copy, email me at problems@deardeidre.org or private message me on Facebook.
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m very worried for you. That was such a risky night out. Those guys should never have had sex with you in that state. In the eyes of the law, it was probably rape.
If you want to talk over your feelings about this, contact Rape Crisis ( rapecrisis.org.uk , 0808 802 9999).
But the pregnancy is your most urgent problem. You’re just 17, still at college and still living at home with your mum. Do you really think you could cope with a baby? Have you thought about how it would change your whole life?
Please don’t let more time drift on by without seeking advice.
I’m sending you my e-leaflet Unplanned Pregnancy, which explains your options.
Got a problem? Send an email to problems@deardeidre.org . Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
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Sip and sees are a fun way for loved ones to get together to sip (some light drinks) and see (you and your new baby).
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Baby showers — whether held in real life, drive-by or virtually — remain the most popular way to celebrate a new arrival. But sometimes, a pre-birth soirée isn’t possible (time constraints, geographical hurdles, finances) or preferred (maybe you don’t want to open gifts in front of everyone, for example). Not to mention, the coronavirus pandemic has forced many families to rethink or postpone their baby showers. Enter: the sip and see, a growing party trend among new parents that involves inviting friends and family to meet your baby after he's born.
Curious about sip and see parties and how they compare to traditional baby showers? We have all the details from top party planners below.
Simply put: “A sip and see can be described as an intimate gathering or open house, typically hosted by the new mom or parents, to give family and friends the opportunity to meet or ‘see’ their new baby,” explains Katherine Kommer, lead planner for New York-based Baby Showers Inc.
Instead of being held before baby's arrival, these events take place after you've given birth or adopted your baby, says Mindy Weiss, founder of Mindy Weiss Party Consultants in Beverly Hills, California.
Sip and see parties are thought to have originated in the South as a post-facto celebration for loved ones to get together to, well, sip (some light drinks) and see (you and the baby). The concept is gaining popularity lately, especially among parents who cannot have a baby shower for various reasons.
If you're opting for a sip and see instead of a traditional baby shower, you might begin some preliminary planning while pregnant, but wait until after baby is born to set a date, suggests Kommer. After all, if you recently gave birth, you’ll want to make sure you’re having the party when you feel up for it — that could be anywhere from weeks to months after your delivery.
“An event of this nature, held after the baby is born, allows parents to settle into their new roles as mom and dad and decide on an appropriate date to invite their loved ones to meet their newest addition,” she says.
These parties usually take place in the new family’s home, though they can also be hosted by a close friend or family member.
“Location is dependent on what is most comfortable for the new mom or parents,” says Kommer. “It may be more convenient for the mother to host at her own home, so everyone comes to her and all baby gear, supplies and nursery are readily available.”
If you’re hosting a sip and see party yourself, aim to set up one area of your space — the living room or back patio, for instance — for the event. And (this is a biggie!) enlist the help of a friend or family member to help coordinate, says Kommer. “A sip and see should be more of a casual, relaxed event with a relatively shorter timeline — about an hour or two,” she says. Most new moms also won’t want the hassle of big setups or cleanups.
The party could either be scheduled like an open house where guests come and go within a certain window or you could ask guests to arrive at a set time.
As for gifts? It’s perfectly acceptable to register for them, says Weiss. “Loved ones want to get you gifts and they want to get you what you want, so definitely register.”
That said, gifts are not expected at these events the way they typically are at a baby shower (where a registry is usually listed on the invite), says Kommer. “Many guests will feel inclined to bring a gift for the new baby, but if you have already given a gift, there is absolutely no need to purchase another.”
Feel awkward coming empty handed, or don’t see a registry? A baby book or a gift for the parents — think flowers or a home-cooked meal — are always welcomed, Kommer says.
In short, it really depends. If you're hosting your own sip and see, feel free to invite anyone you want to meet your new baby! Some couples prefer a coed party, while other new moms want just female friends and relatives to attend. If someone else is hosting the event, it’s important to ask the new parents who they'd like to have there, says Kommer. After all, while some postpartum moms might be thrilled to see all of their friends, others may prefer a smaller group.
Ready to plan your sip and see? Below, experts share their tips for a successful event.
Sip and see food ideas: Since these parties are on the shorter side (usually only a few hours), there’s no need to go all out with a full-blown catering menu. “Refreshments are usually light, and it’s fun to have a few drinks on hand for the ‘sip’ part,” says Kommer. If it’s a mid-morning event, you might serve a few platters of fruit, a spread from a local bakery and a coffee bar or mimosas.
Sip and see decoration ideas: It’s easy to get caught up in Pinterest-worthy decor dreams, but Kommer suggests keeping decorations simple. “The guests are there to meet and see the new baby and mom,” she says. Plus, with a simple setup, you minimize cleanup. Beautiful, fresh flowers or a styled vignette area are both lovely ways to brighten up a room, she says. That said, if you have the time (and energy!), more decor is great, too, Kommer says. Not sure where to start? Decide on a theme — children’s books, jungle (wild about your new baby!) or nautical, for example. “No matter the palette, balloons are always an easy way to fill a room,” Weiss adds. Oversized ones (perhaps spelling out baby’s name) make a simple but fun statement.
Sip and see game ideas: Since the main purpose of a sip and see is to meet baby and check in with the new parents, games are by no means expected. Plus, if you have people stopping in for an open house, it might be hard to plan games. But if you ask guests to arrive at a set time and games interest you, they’re a perfectly acceptable addition to your party, says Weiss. You could ask guests to write a short note or wishes to baby, pass around Polaroid cameras to snap photos of the party (and of guests with baby) to create a scrapbook or, if you just gave birth, hang photos of you and your partner when you were babies and ask guests who baby most closely resembles.
Safety tips for newborns during a sip and see: Finally, while a sip and see party should be relaxed and fun, it’s also important that everyone (including and especially your brand new baby) keep safety in mind. You may request that guests be up-to-date on their flu shots to keep baby "cocooned" against the flu . And of course, “this goes without saying, but as a guest, if you have a cold or cough, refrain from attending the party,” says Kommer. “The hostess and mother will be grateful you were thoughtful in not wanting to spread germs to a susceptible newborn .” All guests should wash their hands before and during the event (regardless of whether the mother will be passing baby around), she says. Keeping travel-sized hand sanitizer or wipes handy is a good idea as well.
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