Pornstars In Halloween Costumes

Pornstars In Halloween Costumes
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Sexy costumes have become an inevitable and ubiquitous part of Halloween. We have no problem with them—if dressing up like a midriff-baring Frozen character is your idea of a good time, hey, knock yourself out—but we'd appreciate it if we could all agree to stop misusing the word "sexy." These costumes may be many things, but by no definition do they qualify as sexy. You want proof of just how unsexy most "sexy" Halloween costumes are? Even a porn star knows the difference. And that's saying something! The adult movie industry invented unsexy things pretending to be sexy. If the creative forces who masterminded "pizza delivery guy" as a plausible seduction scenario can look at today's sexy Halloween costumes and say "Wow, that is unsexy," then it is, by definition, unsexy. That's just science.

We called Joanna Angel—an adult film actress who's played lots of ridiculously costumed characters in movies like Fuckenstein and Evil Head —and asked for her analysis of seven of this year’s top-selling “sexy” Halloween costumes from online superstore Party City.
"Hot S.W.A.T.? Really? You can't just say 'Hey, I'm into handcuffs'? You have to disguise it as law enforcement? Also, the little ballerina dress totally screws up the fantasy. A legitimately sexy costume should look realistic but with a slightly erotic edge to it. This looks like it was designed by an 8-year-old girl who couldn't decide if she wanted to be a princess or police woman for Halloween."
"I don't even understand what this is supposed to be. Is this the queen from a deck of cards? How is that sexy? I guarantee you that I've never played poker and glanced down at the jack of hearts and thought 'I would totally bang that dude.' The joker maybe, but that's a whole other story."
“This was clearly made for someone who has not seen a carbohydrate in about 6 years. It’s from the scene in Return of Jedi where Princess Leia is chained to Jabba the Hutt so she can't escape. So this costume is obviously code for: ‘I am a fit girl who is into very large guys and bondage play.’ ”
“Take away the white face makeup, and this outfit looks like what Karen O wore every single day on the first Yeah Yeah Yeah's tour. I dig how the costume serves double duty: it’s an outfit you can wear on Halloween and to a Vampire Weekend concert. It’s a great excuse to go to a party and not talk to anyone. You know, because she’s a mime. She’s not rejecting you, she’s just staying in character.”
“So this costume was made for one of the six people who actually enjoyed the Catwoman movie? Well, I can't wait to see the 'sexy' Green Lantern or the 'sexy' RoboCop remake costumes that all the boys will be wearing this year.”
“This costume screams ‘Hey! I really want to be compassionate towards same-sex relationships but have absolutely no idea how.’ Anyone who has ever had sex with someone of the same gender would not be caught dead wearing this costume. I wouldn't even say this is for the bi-curious crowd. This is for the bi-confused, or the bi-justboughtareallylamecostume.”
“This costume is just foreshadowing. The girl who wears this is obviously going to wind up at the police station with a DUI at the end of the night. When she gets pulled over and she stumbles out of the car reeking of pink pussy shots and menthol lights, she can tell the cops, ‘Don't worry, I brought my own cuffs.’ ”

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Eric Spitznagel
Eric Spitznagel is a frequent contributor to magazines like Playboy, Esquire, and the New York Times, and was employed for over two decades by the Second City comedy theater, where Stephen Colbert was his Secret Santa _twice.

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Porn actress Joanna Angel dissects 7 revealing outfits

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November 2, 2017

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Now, when Halloween is well behind us, I took the opportunity to look into pornstars’ Instagram profiles to see what costumes they wore on Halloween 2017. To be frank, this is my very first time ever digging deeper to see how adult actresses dress for the Halloween. Surprisingly, I was quite disappointed.
First, I thought the idea of collecting the amazing and wicked costumes is a fantastic idea for an article. However, I soon found out that it is not quite like so. After going through about 10 pornstars’ Insta profiles I almost gave up. No lady put on a costume! How is that even possible, I thought to myself. I was certain that I will have the best time checking out all our favorite Smut queens dressed as god knows what. Well, that did not happen. At least not right off the bat. Sometimes, you need to dig even deeper to find the secret gems, I guess. Or maybe I was doing something entirely wrong, but I highly doubt it.
A post shared by Jayden / Michele (@jaydenmichele) on Oct 31, 2017 at 7:34pm PDT
Anyway, I decided to keep on searching the profiles to find at least one of the pornstars in a Halloween costume. Finally! I found one, the second one, the third one and so forth. I thought I hit a Bingo, but I was wrong. Then again, nothing. How is this even possible?! I was sure it must be all due to the fact that the night before, we were partying heavily and I still must be a bit wasted.
Moving on, Insta profile after Insta profile, I finally managed to collect 26 pornstars who brought out their creative minds. Some of the lovely ladies I found enjoying the Haloween spirit are Megan Rain, Samantha Saint, Eva Lovia and Angela White to name a few. All the rest, you will discover in this carefully handpicked collection.
A post shared by Samantha Saint (@samantha_saint) on Oct 31, 2017 at 10:23am PDT
Looking elsewhere, like Twitter, I might found more raunchy pictures of pornstar in Halloween costumes. To be totally honest with you, the fact why I chose Instagram over Twitter is simply because I am sort of obsessed with it. I even almost stopped using Facebook since Instagram is my social platform of choice. Yes, only now, I am getting more and more into the photo sharing social media platform.
While adult film stars are always over delivering and ruling our worlds, for the first time ever, they truly disappointed me. I am still in amazement that I was not witnessing just about every single star wearing at least Eve’s costume. The one they know how to wear the best! I am sure you know what I am talking about.
A post shared by ANGELA WHITE (@theangelawhite) on Oct 31, 2017 at 4:00pm PDT
Next year, I will definitely repeat the process. Open up Instagram on the day after Halloween and start checking out the girls. I seriously hope there will be more hotties I will find who will put on a costume of any kind. I do not even care whether it is a good or a bad outfit. Everyone who puts at least a tiny amount of effort into “making a fool out of himself” I find a good costume.
Pornstars, do me a favor in 2018 and make sure you do not forget to have some fun on Halloween.
A post shared by Brandi love (@lovetroopers) on Oct 30, 2017 at 5:26pm PDT
A post shared by Gina Valentina (@darealginavalentina) on Nov 1, 2017 at 4:54pm PDT
A post shared by Quinn Wilde (@wildechildxo) on Oct 30, 2017 at 11:38am PDT
A post shared by Madison Ivy's ONLY Official IG (@420madisonivy) on Oct 31, 2017 at 9:44pm PDT
A post shared by Romi Rain (@romirain) on Oct 31, 2017 at 12:15pm PDT
A post shared by Brooklyn Chase (@missbrooklynchase) on Oct 28, 2017 at 7:45pm PDT
A post shared by Lena Paul (@lenapaulxo) on Oct 31, 2017 at 8:44pm PDT
A post shared by Casey Calvert (@caseycalvert) on Nov 1, 2017 at 11:08am PDT
A post shared by Adriana Chechik (@bratnasty69) on Oct 30, 2017 at 8:44pm PDT
A post shared by Riley Reid (@baconbootyy) on Oct 31, 2017 at 12:44pm PDT
A post shared by Eva Lovia (@lovialongtime) on Oct 30, 2017 at 4:09am PDT
A post shared by Sheridan Love (@thesheridanlove1) on Oct 31, 2017 at 11:31am PDT
A post shared by Megan Rain (@meganloveonme) on Oct 31, 2017 at 10:38am PDT
A post shared by Jojo Kiss (@missjojokiss) on Oct 30, 2017 at 9:43am PDT
A post shared by Eva Notty (@evanotty) on Oct 29, 2017 at 2:05am PDT
A post shared by Miss Jessa Rhodes (@missjessarhodes) on Oct 29, 2017 at 8:09pm PDT
A post shared by Carmen Caliente (@officialcarmencaliente) on Oct 31, 2017 at 10:36pm PDT
A post shared by Anya Ivy (@anya_ivy) on Oct 31, 2017 at 1:01pm PDT
A post shared by Kristen Scott (@kristenscottx) on Oct 30, 2017 at 1:18pm PDT
A post shared by Ella Hughes (@hughesthatgurl) on Oct 29, 2017 at 6:37am PDT
A post shared by Dana DeArmond (@danadearmond) on Oct 31, 2017 at 8:58pm PDT
A post shared by Brett Rossi (@imbrettrossi) on Oct 30, 2017 at 11:23am PDT
A post shared by Gia (@realgiapaige) on Oct 30, 2017 at 12:54pm PDT
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Every Halloween, we get pearl-clutchers and Buzzfeed list-makers alike going off on how every costume is just an inexplicably slutty version of a beloved cartoon from our childhoods or mundane household object. It’s time to say “Fuck it” because Halloween isn’t going to stop being the one holiday besides Mardi Gras where we get be half-naked and no one bats an eye.
This year we’re full on embracing it by dressing up as Slutty Sluts. Not just any sluts either; here’s your guide to dressing up as some of the greatest classic porn stars in the history of adult film. Not that you’re going to stay dressed up for very long!

Linda Lovelace starred in 1972’s Deep Throat , one of the most influential, controversial, and widely seen pornos in film history. To nail Lovelace’s look from the flick’s theatrical poster, slip into a red monokini and accessorize with a floppy hat and big 70’s hoop earings. Curl your hair so that it looks like a retro perm and you’re good to go! If you wind up performing the movie’s titular act at the Halloween party, make sure someone returns the favor!
As the most recognizable and prolific porn star in history, Ron Jeremy is a great choice for a Halloween costume. You can mimic his shockingly sexy Playgirl shoot by donning a leather jacket, or go for his modern day look with a Hawaiian shirt. Either way, you’re going to need to accessorize with a pornstache and chest wig. For added authenticity, strap on the official Ron Jeremy dildo and suck on the nipples of anyone who asks.
Do you have big boobs and even bigger hair? Then congratulations, you’re going to be Vanessa Del Rio for Halloween! Show off your classic décolletage with this body con off-the-shoulder dress. Add some red accessories to catch everyone’s eye, and finish off your look with some big ol’ 80’s doorknocker earings.
Seka was a star of the late 1970’s and early 1980’s. She first worked in adult bookstores, and often had to fix broken loops. She later said in an interview, “I saw these ladies doing Adult Films back then and felt that was a nasty representation of women. I thought to myself that I can do it and do it better than that,” which led to her entrance into the adult biz. To nail her look, you’re going to need platinum blonde hair and a brightly colored neck scarf. Wear a soft, pastel colored dress (don’t worry about a bra!) with white underthings and strappy white sandals. Depending on which decade you’re going for, makeup your face with either a softer 70’s palette or the garish brightness of the 80’s.
One of the most prolific stars of the Golden Age of porn, John Holmes served as the inspiration for Dirk Diggler and is well known for his exceptionally large cock. To pull off a Halloween recreation of this famous photograph, you’re going to need to get a bit crafty. Get a bunch of long, fleshtone colored gloves and apply nail laquer to the finger tips. Next, sew them in a skirt, loincloth, whatever. Finish off the look with the John Holmes dildo and a porn stache. If you get chilly, feel free to throw on a nifty leather jacket.
The Queen of the Pinups, Bettie Page was also the first famous BDSM model, one of the first Playboy Playmates, and had a lasting influence on sexuality and fashion. Borrow your grandma’s best bullet bra and pair it with matching panties. Accessorize with thigh highs, garters, black patent pumps, and long gloves. If you don’t already have bangs, you can easily purchase some clip-on Bettie Bangs. Finish your look with dark lips, a flogger, and some bondage rope, just in case you’re not leaving the party alone!
Tweet me your slutty Halloween costumes @JudyHologram and follow the rest of us at @HotMoviesForHer !
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