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Everyone knows about porn, but not everyone knows about the brutal treatment and abuse that performers often go through to create it. Hear from 10 popular performers reveal what it’s really like to be part of the porn industry.
Trigger warning: Frank discussions of abuse are included in this article. Many readers may find the following accounts to be graphic and/or disturbing.
There are many people in our porn-saturated society who think that porn is harmless, personal entertainment.
Many people believe those in the adult entertainment industry love to have sex and get paid for it, why wouldn’t that seem like a dream? No one’s getting hurt when I watch porn is a common thought pattern many consumers have. And, we get it. Why would you have any reason to believe that the mainstream porn industry is anything less than professional, fun, safe, and sexy?
Regardless of all the overwhelming research and countless personal accounts exposing the reality of trafficking and exploitation in the porn industry , many still buy into the fantasy that the porn industry works to maintain.
A lot of people have a similar mindset as this guy who messaged us on Facebook:
“Porn hurts nobody.” “They do it because they like to do it.”
What the average porn consumer might not know is that the industry is filled with sexual violence , coercion , and exploitation .
Consider that while active porn performers rarely, if ever, speak out due to fear of being blacklisted in the industry or being discriminated against , many of those same performers end up speaking out on their real experiences once they leave the industry . These personal accounts are very often in stark contrast to our culture’s narrative about porn. And for those who do decide to leave, the porn industry still controls every image and video clip that the person can never get back .
To put an end to the “glamorous” and “sexy” facade that so many people in our society buy from the porn industry, we’ve assembled stories from ten former porn performers and their stomach-turning reflections on their time doing porn. These stories are from a now inactive organization that worked with former performers.
These stories are from women who have left the industry, but if you’d like to read stories from men who were in the industry, click here .
*READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED: We did our best to find quotes that weren’t too explicit while still preserving the true nature of the stories. Regardless, many may find the following accounts to be graphic, disturbing, and/or triggering.*
“[One particular film] was the most brutal, depressing, scary scene that I have ever done. I have tried to block it out from my memory due to the severe abuse that I received during the filming. The [male performer] has a natural hatred towards women, in the sense that he has always been known to be more brutal than ever needed. I agreed to do the scene, thinking it was less beating except for a punch in the head. If you noticed, [he] had worn his solid gold ring the entire time and continued to punch me with it. I actually stopped the scene while it was being filmed because I was in too much pain.”
*FTND Note: In our research, we found that the obscenity of the film Alex is talking about caused the distributor to forego covering any further releases from the film studio. A critic on a popular porn review site wrote that the film was “one of the most morally repugnant pornographic movies I have seen” and “is the sort of movie that the government would cite when trying to arrest pornographers and outlaw pornography.”
“Like most porn performers, I perpetuated this lie. One of my favorite things to say when asked if I liked doing a particular scene was, ‘I only do what I like! I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t like it!’ I would say this with a big fake smile and giggle. What a total lie! I did what I had to do to get ‘work’ in porn. I did what I knew would help me gain ‘fame’ in the industry.”
*FTND Note: Vanessa Belmond (real name) is now outspoken on the harms of the porn industry and has been featured in several news sources. Click here to hear more of her story .
“It was the most degrading, embarrassing, horrible thing ever. I had to shoot an interactive DVD, which takes hours and hours of shooting time, with a 104-degree fever! I was crying and wanted to leave but my agent wouldn’t let me, he said he couldn’t let me flake on it. I also did a scene where I was put with male talent that was on my ‘no list.’ I wanted to please them so I did it. He stepped on my head… I freaked out and started bawling; they stopped filming and sent me home with reduced pay since they got some shot but not the whole scene.”
“After a year or so of that so-called ‘glamorous life,’ I sadly discovered that drugs and drinking were part of the lifestyle. I began to drink and party of out control—cocaine, alcohol, and ecstasy were my favorites. Before long, I turned into a person I did not want to be. After doing so many hardcore scenes, I couldn’t do it anymore. I just remember being in horrible situations and experiencing extreme depression and being alone and sad.”
*FTND Note: Andi left the porn industry in 2010 and joined an organization that is a group of ex-porn performers that speak out on the harms of pornography. However, in 2014, Andi announced on her Twitter page that she was returning to porn.
“I got the s— kicked out of me… most of the girls start crying because they’re hurting so bad… I couldn’t breathe. I was being hit and choked. I was really upset and they didn’t stop. They kept filming. [I asked them to turn the camera off] and they kept going.”

“I have been a performer now for 14 years in the adult film industry in many countries, states…all over the place. I have worked for most of these companies, and I was around for the once-a-month HIV-positive outbreak in ’98. Yes, I was, and I got to see those performers that nobody knows about—that nobody claims that got HIV, that are not a part of the statistics—walk out the door as non-performers, not to be counted. Yeah, there are a lot of cover-ups going on. There is a lot of tragedy. There are a lot of horrible things.”
“Of course I lied to my fans. I led them to believe I lived a fantasy life that was far from the truth. I fed into their fantasies. I said I wanted sex 24/7 and made it seem like I absolutely loved what I did and was living this happy life. I gave them hope and insight into their relationships by telling them what to do. I started to feel like an important nobody, they knew Elizabeth [the porn star], but they would never care to know Jan [the real me].
I had to do whatever the producer pleased and I had to accept it or else no pay. Sometimes you would get to a gig and the producer would change what the scene was supposed to be to something more intense and again if you didn’t like it, too bad, you did it or no pay.”
*FTND Note: Jan Villarubia (real name) eventually left the porn industry and worked with an organization that helped to rehabilitate former performers, and now independently works on books and documentary features to spread awareness on the harms of the porn industry and help other porn performers get out of the business.
“People in the porn industry are numb to real life and are like zombies walking around. The abuse that goes on in this industry is completely ridiculous. The way these young ladies are treated is totally sick and brainwashing. I left due to the trauma I experienced even though I was there only a short time. I hung out with a lot of people in the adult industry, everybody from contract girls to gonzo actresses. Everybody has the same problems. Everybody is on drugs. It’s an empty lifestyle trying to fill up a void. I became horribly addicted to heroin and crack. I overdosed at least three times, had tricks pull knives on me, have been beaten half to death…”

“It was torture for seven years. I was miserable, I was lonely, I eventually turned to drugs and alcohol and attempted suicide. I knew I wanted out, but I didn’t know how to get out.”
*FTND Note: Brittni Ruiz (real name) did eventually get out and now uses her story to spread awareness of the harms of the porn industry.
“The abuse and degradation were rough. I sweated and was in deep pain. On top of the horrifying experience, my whole body ached, and I was irritable the whole day. The director didn’t really care how I felt; he only wanted to finish the video.”
___________________________________
No matter the industry, no matter the person, no one deserves to be sexually harassed or assaulted.
Mistreatment should never be expected because of a job, even for those who voluntarily enter the porn industry. We can do better than blaming victims of abuse—they deserve better than that. Consider porn’s glamorous perception in society, and how people likely didn’t fully know about the possibility of assault or rape off and on set before signing up to perform in porn.
But the harms of porn aren’t just confined to the ones in front of the camera—they also apply to those behind the screen.
There is a growing field of research that shows how consumers, relationships, and society can all be harmed by porn.
This isn’t a moral argument, it’s simply something to consider, given the facts. Click here to read more about the harmful effects of porn , and make a decision for yourself about whether you want to support and contribute to it.
Research indicates that while most porn consumers are generally unconcerned about the potential mistreatment of porn performers, about 70% of those who do learn about mistreatment in the porn industry take some form of action to combat it. Tollini, C., & Diamond-Welch, B. (2021). American adult pornography consumers’ beliefs and behaviors related to pornography studios mistreating their performers. Sexuality & Culture, doi:10.1007/s12119-021-09872-3 COPY 1 Now that you understand more about the pervasive mistreatment in the industry, what will you do to combat it?
Those who perform in the porn industry are human beings, and they don’t deserve to be degraded and treated like objects. Part of fighting for love is spreading awareness on the harms of the porn industry, and the lives that it harms. Clicking pornography contributes to the demand for more stories like these to happen to real people.
Consider before consuming , and fight for real love.
Thanks for taking the time to read through this article! As a 501(c)(3) nonprofit, we're able to create resources like this through the support of people like you. Will you help to keep our educational resources free as we produce resources that raise awareness on the harms of porn and sexual exploitation?
1 Tollini, C., & Diamond-Welch, B. (2021). American adult pornography consumers’ beliefs and behaviors related to pornography studios mistreating their performers. Sexuality & Culture, doi:10.1007/s12119-021-09872-3
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So much of what you see in pornography is simply fantasy, beginning with the super-loud orgasms.
Apr 25, 2019, 09:21 PM EDT | Updated Apr 30, 2019
2. Most women aren’t as loud and scream-y as they are in porn.
3. Anal sex is almost never spontaneous.
5. Acting in porn is exhausting work, just like any job. (And no, porn stars aren’t horny all the time.)
6. Big butts in porn usually aren’t as big as they appear.
7. A lot of those crazy positions don’t happen IRL, and extreme squirting is pretty rare, too.
8. Off-screen, trans adult entertainers aren’t necessarily as dominant as they appear in porn.
9. Porn stars aren’t just naturally blessed with those bodies.
10. Not all porn is over-the-top and not all of it objectifies women.
11. Lastly? Those crazy cum shots can definitely be exaggerated.
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Part of HuffPost Relationships. ©2022 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.
Senior Lifestyle Reporter, HuffPost
Everyone remembers the first time they encountered porn : Maybe it was a quick, covert Yahoo search that led you to a grainy, pixelated clip that took forever to load. Or maybe a friend’s brother lent you a copy of Playboy, which you and your friends passed around like a prized, definitely overused possession.
For porn star Kelley Cabbana, it was a copy of Penthouse magazine that lured her in, then some actual porn tapes.
Like many of whose intro to sex was via porn, the Florida-born actress couldn’t get over how easy the actors made it all look.
“The women were so beautiful and every position they did was completely perfect,” she said. “They even made blow jobs look easy; the women would swallow like they were eating the best ice cream on the planet.”
Now, after 10 years working in the adult film industry, Cabbana can confirm that those performances are all pretty much a fluffer -filled fantasy.
“I can tell you, I was lied to!” she said. “I have yet to see flawless, no-stretch-mark bodies or skin that’s totally perfect.”
Same goes for those crazy Cirque du Soleil-esque sex positions ― they just don’t tend to happen in real life. To find out what else is exaggerated in porn ― and what actually happens behind the scenes ― we talked to Cabbana and other adult film stars. Here’s what they had to say:
“The world average penis size is about 6 inches, but in porn, it’s often over 8 or 9. Funnily enough, I often forget that that’s the case and am almost surprised if I meet a guy with an average penis size. In porn, even I could potentially feel inadequate, but I very quickly remind myself that the actors are often chosen for their large ‘talents’ more than for their pretty faces or acting skills. I’m not sure how the general public feels about themselves if they only see very hung guys, but I hope they, too, remember that porn is simply a fantasy.” ― T heo Ford , an adult film performer who’s been in the industry for six years
“Loud orgasms are definitely exaggerated. I haven’t screamed, yelled and ‘put on a show’ since I was 18 and trying to mimic porn videos. No one is that loud and dramatic.” ― Lindsey Leigh , an adult film performer who’s been in the industry for 11 years
“There is a lot of prep that goes into doing an anal scene. No adult film actress wakes up one morning (or afternoon) and says, ‘I’m going to do anal today!’ You have to literally change your diet (if you haven’t already), take a mixture of laxatives and anti-diarrhea medication to clean you out and then stop your bowels from moving. Then you have to clean yourself out the day of the shoot and most of all, prep yourself with lots of lube that the camera almost never shows. A lot of the porn that I watch makes it look like the couple just spontaneously decided to stick it in there. They didn’t. The girl most likely had to prep the entire day before.” ― Ember Snow , an adult film performer for two years
“Gay porn sometimes exaggerates the sexuality of the actors ― a good amount of gay porn models are straight and use straight porn on set to get hard to perform. Oh, and the romance and connection angle you see in porn plots tends to be exaggerated in gay porn. (Straight porn content is marketed as more rough and physical.) That detail might be why gay porn attracts more female viewers than one would think.” ― Pierce Paris , an adult film performer who’s been in the industry for two years
“Porn actors spend hours in the same position to get the shot. You are sore after hours of filming. Being on set, it’s hot and your makeup runs and you get sweaty fast. You work long days and long hours filming to create a 15-minute clip of pure perfection. There are techniques to blow jobs that you learn; it’s not just sucking on a lollipop. The time you spend shooting the same scene over and over truly does happen and you will go home with your jaw sore from sucking and using every inch of your tongue on the scene. But the funniest misconception is that porn stars are always horny and down to fuck. There are days you have no interest in sex, it does happen, and if not careful, your partner won’t understand why either. We are real people with real lives just like everyone else.” ― Kelley Cabbana , an adult film performer who’s been in the industry for 10 years
“A lot of people think you have to be very curvy to be in porn, with a nice round bum, but nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, you are often encouraged to be as small as possible and let the camera do the rest. I personally feel this is partially why you don’t see as much BBW (big beautiful women) porn being circulated online; it’s a known fact that companies don’t cast big girls too often. With super-wide-angle lenses to stretch out your posterior, who needs a Brazilian butt lift? You can just fake the bum you’ve always wanted, no surgery needed! ... The angles captured on smaller women are so damn good and seem out of this world, which is true in a way.” ― Jade Jordan , an indie adult film performer who’s been in the industry for four years
“In my 10 years of having sex before porn, I never once did the standing missionary (where the girl has one leg on the ground and one leg over the guy’s shoulder), pile driver or reverse cowgirl. A lot of girls squirt, but not all of them do like you see in your typical squirting scene (where girls squirt from the bed to across the hallway into another girl’s mouth). I love the absurdity of most scenarios, though. Porn is this fantasy world where all your sister’s hot friends are always DTF and so are the girls at work, college and the beach. Everybody gets laid!” ― Whitney Wright , an adult film performer who’s been in the business for two and a half years
“As a trans woman of color, I’m usually playing the police officer or the dominatrix out to chain you up and have my way with you. I was the girl on top. I remember one of my Honey Bees (my fans) saying that I am taking over the world, one ass at a time. In reality, my life is the complete opposite. I am a shy, introverted person with serious social anxiety. My sex life outside of the industry couldn’t be further from my character. I am totally submissive and prefer to be on bottom. Yet that just doesn’t sell in the trans industry. They expect the girls to be dominant and prefer a girl that can get hard and cum. When you are on hormones, though, that can be nearly impossible. Unfortunately, for most trans women, that can be the make-or-break point in the business.” ― Amaya Jade , formerly known as Honey FoXXX, a photographer who was an adult entertainer for 11 years
“Oftentimes, porn is the only interaction people have with trans women, so they try to pick up cues about how to treat trans women in real life. When even a progressive site like Kink.com uses terms like “TS Pussyhunters” or “TS Seduction,” it feeds into the bathroom-predator stereotypes of trans women who want to trick or seduce any cis men and hunt for cis women for partners. There’s a place for that kind of porn, but when representation is limited, stereotypes get perpetuated.” ― Chelsea Poe , a porn filmmaker and performer who’s been in the adul
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