Pornstar Music Video
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Pornstar Music Video
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One of the world's most prominent stereotypes is that adult entertainers enter the industry because they lack intelligence, or the ability to do anything else. It's not uncommon to hear critiques of the porn industry revolving around talentless blondes and bimbos. What this criticism fails to account for is the fact that porn stars are actually people. And just like everybody else, many have a range of diverse, nuanced interests, from literature to art to film acting and beyond. These days, social media allows people to proudly display and discuss their interests, and the same goes for adult entertainers, many of whom are attempting to use such platforms in order to enact reform within the industry, or to promote sexual health and education. Over the years there have been several prominent figures in porn who have attempted to transition into the music industry, or have simply expressed their love of music by releasing a song, album or collaboration. The vast majority of these projects never really see much success, so most people have likely never heard of them until now. Here are eight songs (some good, some hilariously terrible) released by porn stars over the years.
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Commonly found reading, sitting firmly in a seat at the cinema (bottle of water and a Freddo bar, please) or listening to the Mountain Goats.
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Chocolate and peanut butter. Laverne and Shirley. Nipple clamps and gimp masks. Porn stars and rock stars. Some things just clearly go together in a way that it's impossible to not associate one from the other. This is clearly the scenario when it comes to music videos and porn performers. Consider the following:
-Both existed in weird and hairier proto-forms, but only really gained traction in the 80's.
-Both set trends for the public at large, e.g., trimmed pubic hair, big stupid 80's hair, copycat musicians, and the popularity of the titty job in the general population.
-There's now so damn many of them that you probably know at least three people who have made their own music video/appeared in a porno.
Today we bring the you the first of possibly an infinite number of parts of PORN STARS IN MUSIC VIDEOS!!!
Our first entry is easily the coolest. Pop-punk stalwarts Motion City Soundtrack bring a catchy song and a neat video, filmed entirely in ONE SHOT. As if that wasn't cool enough, it's soon clear the entire video was shot BACKWARDS, meaning the singer had to learn to lip-sync backwards. The plot line follows a frumpy office worker who informs the (not in porn, yet good looking enough to be) male office worker he'll be staying late. He decides to leave, and sneaks out of the office, down the streets of Philadelphia, and back home to undress and kiss his love, played by gorgeous Kleio Valentien. Kleio then exits the house (backwards), and hops into a car and begins putting clothes on, revealing...SHE WAS ALSO THE FRUMPY OFFICE WORKER?!!? They don't make 'em like this anymore. Fun fact: the man in the film is indie film actor/director Shaun Paul Costello!
Aimee Sweet pops up in every Korn fan's fantasy. No, not sleeping with a porn star-going back to prom as the coolest guy ever! That'll show those jocks and the girls who didn't like you! Aimee plays the escort to our story's protagonist who comes to the prom with him. She also has a sick "devil face" body paint-job going, that causes a real demon tongue to poke out for...reasons...
Oh...and Aaron Paul from Breaking Bad makes a pre-fame appearance in it as well. We know, we're only interested for Korn and Aimee Sweet, just a footnote. I'll leave out the less important facts as we move ahead.
The Porn Stars: Skin Diamond and Allie Haze
Skin Diamond spits on the industry that made her a star! She appears as a fresh "pro-am" porn star who gets more involved in the sleazy side of L.A. (She encounters a drunken Allie Haze trying to hard to lez out with her at a party along the way!) There's hard partying and consequences along the way.
Eminem dates himself horribly by bringing in Lisa Ann in her famous (...for a few months in 2008...) Sarah Palin outfit to...lie in bed with him, while he plays Poison singer Bret Michaels? Wow, those early Eminem videos do not age well. I'm incredibly surprised The Joker and Obama didn't make a cameo as well.
"Make It Nasty" is Tyga's latest social commentary, discussing the pros and cons of Obama's Trans-Pacific Partnership trade agreement. Featuring his typical nuance and razor-tongued satirical slicing, porn star Amia Riley appears as the U.N. representative of Germany, the primary holdout against the treaty. The compromise reached is depicted as they embrace one another. (OK...this is yet another rap video about shaking your ass in a naughty "hokey-pokey" style, and Amia's tits get more screen time than her face, so I had to make something up. All this so people wouldn't know he was secretly banging trans star, Mia Isabella .
Bonnie Rotten, Asphyxia Noir, and London Keyes star in this video by the Weeknd in the classic roles of porn stars in videos; they're hot girls who roll around with each other. I really can't make anything out in this video since it's intentionally pixellated and made to look like a shitty advertisement on the side of a Tokyo building. The girls roll around and drink champagne. A bit of a waste when you consider the talents these three porn stars bring to the table.
Janine makes her star-making appearance that would make children of the new millennium attracted hot babes with tattoos for years to come. Janine arguably owes much of her popularity to the sophomoric pop-punk band by having her model in a nurse's uniform for the iconic album cover to their breakout album, Enema of the State .
80's porno megastar Ginger Lynn joins forces with 90's megastars Metallica for their music video of their cover song of 70's megastar Bob Seger. Ginger portrays a (thankfully) fictional version of herself as a down on her luck sex worker, all whilst trying to raise her daughter. She said in interviews how she didn't want the part, particularly because she was convinced that, being a big fan of the original song, the Metallica version would suck. Director Jonas Akerlund met with her and convinced her to take the role (under the condition she quickly put on ten pounds to look more "used up"...which she accomplished by eating nothing but ice cream and nachos for three weeks). Interestingly, director Akerlund was rock star himself for the notorious black metal progenitors, Bathory.
The Porn Stars: Danny Wylde and Chad Alva
Totally cheating with this one; the porn stars in question here are actually the musicians themselves instead of making cameos. Danny Wylde and Chad Alva (former bassist of metal band Dead to Fall prior to his porn career) moonlight in their super creepy industrial/black metal band Chiildren. The videos tend to be incredibly creepy, and include blood, amputees, and violence. Have to wonder which videos their parents are more hesitant to show their friends-the porn or the music videos?
This concludes our first chapter of porn stars in music videos. Tune in next time for another list which may or may not consist of Ron Jeremy's 3,000 cameos, videos that ONLY feature stars who were actively dating the musician involved, and videos only featuring stars from the state of New Jersey. Seriously, there are more stars in the sky than there are grains of sand on earth, and there are more examples of porn stars in music videos than both of those put together.
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