Pornography With Young Boys And Girls

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Suitable for 12-18 years
Pornography: talking about it with teenagers 12-18 years
Pornography is sexually explicit material that aims to arouse people who are looking at it
Pornography can send negative messages like:
Talking about pornography is one of the best ways to protect your child from the potential influence of pornography.
You could start a conversation by talking about something you and your child have seen in a movie, TV show, YouTube video and so on. Or you could ask your child some questions. For example:
It’s important to listen and be open to what your child has to say. If your child has questions, it’s best to answer them briefly and honestly. If you don’t know the answers, it’s OK to say so. You can tell your child you’ll think about it and get back to them.
Once you’ve started talking with your child about pornography, you might find talking gets easier the more you do it. Here are some important things you could talk about.
Why does online pornography exist?
Explain that some adults like looking at pornography, so people film or take photos of sex to make money. You could mention that, as with many jobs, some people choose to take part in making pornography, but others do it because they can’t find another job.
Is porn sex like real sex?
Young people might think that pornography shows them what sex and bodies should look like.
You can explain to your child that actors in pornography are being paid. They have to do what they’re told and look like they’re having a great time – even when the sex is violent, non-consensual, boring or unenjoyable.
And real bodies aren’t the same as porn actors’ bodies. For example, the actors might have had their bodies modified or enhanced in various ways.
What are the risks of pornography?
Teenagers who look at pornography regularly might develop unhealthy or stereotypical views about gender roles, sex and sexual performance. These views can make it harder for them to develop respectful and enjoyable sexual relationships.
It’s important for your child to know that fulfilling relationships are about emotional closeness and trust as well as mutually enjoyable sex. You can help your child understand this by talking about what respectful relationships look and feel like.
‘Pornography can make violent sex and disrespectful relationships seem normal. You might think that’s what you should do in real life. But in real life it’s important to show care and respect when you’re intimate with someone. You should always be certain you’re only doing things that both of you really want to do.’
If your child has seen pornography, it’s important to stay calm. Staying calm will help you to:
It’s important to let your child know that it’s normal and OK to be interested in sex and sexuality and that they’re not in trouble.
If your child is regularly seeking out pornography while alone, consider talking with your child about why they’re looking at pornography, whether they think it’s a good idea, and why.
If your child is looking at pornography to find out more about sex, you could help your child find better information sources.
If your child is looking at pornography for sexual arousal, you could talk with your child about how often and what sort of pornography they’re looking at. You can tell your child that it’s OK to be interested in sex and seek sexual arousal, but that using pornography regularly can get in the way of forming and enjoying positive relationships.
If your child is concerned that they can’t control their pornography use, suggest that you help your child seek professional support. Your GP is a good place to start.
Young people are naturally curious about sex and relationships. They might look at pornography for sexual arousal, out of curiosity, or for information about sex.
Teenagers might watch pornography with their friends. This can be to build closer bonds with friends, to boost social status, or to encourage someone they like to have sex with them.
Often boys suggest looking at pornography, rather than girls. Boys are also more likely to look for pornography and view it on their own. Boys might behave like this because this is what gender stereotypes say boys should do.
Children and teenagers mostly see pornography online. There’s a lot of pornography on the internet, and fast internet connections and smartphones mean it can be accessed quickly and easily.
There are also simulated sex acts or violent sexual content in TV programs like Game of Thrones or video games like Grand Theft Auto.
Talking about topics like pornography can be uncomfortable – for both you and your child. But there are ways to handle these conversations in positive ways. This video demonstrates things you can do to handle difficult conversations with teenagers. Staying calm and really listening make a great start. You can also use these conversations as opportunities to help your child make responsible decisions.
This article was developed in collaboration with Dr Joanne Orlando, Senior Lecturer, Early Childhood Education, Western Sydney University, and digital families expert; and Professor Lelia Green, Professor of Communications, School of Arts and Humanities, Edith Cowan University.
Armstrong, A., Quadara, A., El-Murr, A., & Latham, J. (2017). The effects of pornography on children and young people [Research snapshot]. Melbourne: Australian Institute of Family Studies. Retrieved 12 January 2021 from https://aifs.gov.au/sites/default/files/publication-documents/online_pornography-effects_on_children_young_people_snapshot.pdf.
Horvath, M.A.H., Alys, L., Massey, K., Pina, A., Scally, M., & Adler, J.A. (2014). ‘Basically, porn is everywhere.’ A rapid evidence assessment on the effect that access and exposure to pornography has on children and young people. London: Office of the Children’s Commissioner. Retrieved 12 January 2021 from https://www.childrenscommissioner.gov.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Basically_porn_is_everywhere.pdf.
Livingstone, S., & Mason, J. (2015). Sexual rights and sexual risks among youth online: A review of existing knowledge regarding children and young people’s developing sexuality in relation to new media environments. London: LSE/ENACSO. Retrieved 12 January 2021 from http://eprints.lse.ac.uk/64567/1/Livingstone_Review_on_Sexual_rights_and_sexual_risks_among_online_youth_Author_2015.pdf.
Martellozzo, E., Monaghan, A., Adler, J.R., Davidson, J., Leyva, R., & Horvath, M.A.H. (2017). ‘… I wasn’t sure it was normal to watch it …’: A quantitative and qualitative examination of the impact of online pornography on the values, attitudes, beliefs and behaviours of children and young people. London: NSPCC, Office of the Children’s Commissioner. Retrieved 12 January 2021 from https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/media/1187/mdx-nspcc-occ-pornography-report.pdf.
Nash, V., Adler, J.R., Horvath, M.A.H., Livingstone, S., Marston, C., Owen, G., & Wright, J. (2015). Identifying the routes by which children view pornography online: Implications for future policy-makers seeking to limit viewing. London: Department for Culture, Media & Sport. Retrieved 12 January 2021 from http://eprints.lse.ac.uk/65450/.
Paasonen, S., Attwood, F., McKee, A., Mercer, J., & Smith, C. (2020). Objectification: On the difference between sex and sexism. Abingdon, UK: Routledge.
Smith, C., Attwood, F., & Scott, R. (2019). Policy brief: Young people and digital intimacies. What is the evidence and what does it mean? Where next? Sunderland, UK: University of Sunderland. Retrieved 12 January 2021 from https://sure.sunderland.ac.uk/id/eprint/11405/1/Young%20People%20and%20Digital%20Intimacies%20June%202019%20Final.pdf.
Tarrant, S. (2016). The pornography industry: What everyone needs to know. Oxford: Oxford University Press.
Tsaliki, L., & Chronaki, D. (2020). Children’s sexuality in the context of digital media: Sexualisation, sexting and experiences with sexual content in a research perspective. In L. Green, D. Holloway, K. Stevenson, T. Leaver & L. Haddon (Eds), The Routledge companion to digital media and children (Part V, Chap. 40). Abingdon, UK: Taylor and Francis.
Pornography: talking about it with children 9-11 years
It’s easy for pre-teens to see pornography accidentally. Talking protects children from pornography’s influence. Internet safety rules are important too.
Teenage relationships: romance and intimacy
Early teenage relationships often involve exploring romance, physical intimacy and sexual feelings. You can guide your child through this important stage.
Sexting is making and sharing sexual material via social media or online. Help teens make responsible choices by talking about respect and sexting risks.
Problematic and harmful sexual behaviour in children and teenagers
Most sexual behaviour in childhood and adolescence is typical and healthy. But some sexual behaviour is problematic or harmful. It needs professional advice.
Preventing violence against women: teaching children about respect
Prevention of violence against women starts with parents, children and respect. Here’s how to role-model respect towards women and girls for your children.
Child sexual abuse: what it is and what to do
Child sexual abuse is when adults or older children involve children in sexual activity. Sexual abuse is never a child’s fault. Read how to protect children.
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Can Porn Worsen the Existing Issue of Child-On-Child Sexual Assault?
Few studies interview young people who have sexually abused other children. In a study, these youth share how porn influenced their behavior.
By Fight the New DrugJanuary 2, 2020June 3rd, 2020No Comments
Young people who had sexually abused other children said that educating them on pornography and sex could have helped prevent their abusive behavior, according to a study reported on by Medical Xpress.
In a PhD thesis paper released by the University of Melbourne, the study’s findings represent the rarely-captured voices of young people who had sexually abused other children. Their sample size is small, but their findings are worth paying attention to—especially as more and more experts are speaking out about this issue.
Researchers asked 14 young people what they felt could have prevented them from exhibiting harmful sexual behavior. They also asked six treatment-providing workers to reflect on the insights of the young people. Three main opportunities for prevention emerged, including taking action in the lives of young people to make their home and school relationships safe, reform their sexuality education, and help their understanding of pornography.
The study’s lead author Gemma McKibbin, Ph.D. candidate at the University of Melbourne said that the findings made it clear that more needed to be done in sexual health policy for vulnerable groups of children, and to restrict young people’s access to pornography.
“The access that young people are having to pornography, as well as our collective turning a blind eye, is akin to a kind of cultural grooming of children,” McKibbin said.
Sexually abusive behavior occurs when a child or young person sexually abuses another child or young person. Previous studies have shown that about half the victims of child-on-child sexual abuse are under the age of six, while the children who abuse others are likely to be aged just 12 years old.
Of the adolescents who participated in the study, 12 said they had been exposed to pornography, while three of the boys directly attributed their sexually abusive behavior to their pornography consumption.
“We can’t, on the one hand, say we don’t want to talk with young children about sexuality, while on the other hand do nothing about the multi-billion-dollar pornography industry and the telecommunications industry that is enabling access,” McKibbin added.
“It may be that government needs to intervene at this point. Pornography can’t be seen as the sole responsibility of parents or schools because it has gone way beyond that. We probably need to engage directly with the pornography industry and the telecommunications industry,” she said.
The study participants also highlighted the need to improve sex education as a way to promote respectful sexual relationships and counter the distorted messages they received from pornography.
“Consistent, protective sex education needed to be introduced as soon as children started school, if not before,” Ms. McKibbin said.
Study co-authors also included Professor Cathy Humphreys and Dr. Bridget Hamilton from the University of Melbourne.
“The effects of child-on-child sexual abuse are negative and far-reaching for the victims as well as the young people who abuse,” Prof. Humphreys said.
“We have a great opportunity with the introduction of Respectful Relationships Education in Victorian schools to address the sexually abusive behavior. This report makes a significant contribution to curriculum messages that could be specifically designed to prevent such behavior, and protect our vulnerable young people.”
Watch: Expert Heidi Olson Talks About the Role Porn Plays in Child Sexual Assault
As concerning as this data is about young people and porn, it isn’t isolated.
The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) conducted a survey of more than 1,000 children aged 11-16, and found that at least half had been exposed to online porn. Of this group, almost all (94%) have seen it by age 14. The organization joined forces with Middlesex University to further study the impact of online porn on kids, in the largest study of its kind.
Unsurprisingly, the effects of watching porn on the young boys was readily apparent. Many boys revealed that they wanted to copy the behavior they had seen watching porn. More than a third (39%) of 13-14 year-olds who responded to this question – and a fifth of 11-12 of year-olds (21%) – wanted to repeat porn acts. The interesting part? These answers came despite more than 3/4 of the kids agreeing that porn didn’t help them understand consent.
One of the most unsettling findings from the NSPCC survey was that over half of the boys (53%) believed that the porn they had seen was realistic. They believed that what they view in porn is an accurate depiction of sex and sexuality. This was in comparison to 39% of girls who believed the same. Many of the young girls surveyed said they were worried about how porn would make boys see girls and the possible impact on attitudes to sex and relationships.
Case studies like these are exactly why we’re raising awareness that porn isn’t harmless, it isn’t healthy, and it isn’t acceptable that kids are using it as an “educational” resource for sex. We can do better.
These surveys, both at the University of Melbourne and by the NSPCC, show the massive role porn is playing in the development of young kids these days. And further than their development, porn is influencing their behavior. What they’re learning from porn are skewed perceptions of sex and harmful attitudes about their natural sexuality and how to treat others.
By being educated and raising awareness on these findings, we can hopefully spare the next generation of the many harms that are sure to come due to this pornification of our society. It’s time we stop underestimating the harms of porn and educate those around us.
Are you with us? Join the movement!
©Fight the New Drug, Inc. 2021, All rights Reserved. Fight the New Drug, Inc. is a US 501(c)(3) public charity, EIN 26-3550143.
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Pornography With Young Boys And Girls