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The battle against pornography and sexual purity has raged for generations, and it has become more sophisticated and widespread as the years have passed. But God’s message to us remains the same.
Heather Riggleman Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer
2020 3 Mar
She didn’t find out about the porn problem through a confession. She found it on his phone. My sister had been putting away laundry when she took her husband’s phone out of his jeans. She happened to swipe the screen when suddenly a video popped open to play. In utter shock, Jade scrolled through his phone only to find dozens of videos, photos, and other pornographic websites.
I then called a close family friend. “I think you need to talk to Will about his marriage. His wife just found porn on his phone and she’s thinking about leaving him.” This family friend scoffed and said, “Why? It’s not that big of a deal. Men weren’t meant to be monogamous and the fact she’s airing their dirty laundry to you is pretty pathetic.” He went on further as to why porn isn’t a big deal.
Do you see what just happened there? A family unit was nearly destroyed because of pornography and yet most Americans don’t think that porn is a big deal. But it is. According to 15 Mind Blowing Facts about Pornography and Church, here are some alarming statistics:
1. Nearly 40 million Americans are regular visitors to porn sites. The average visit lasts 6 minutes and 29 seconds with 55% of married men and 25% of married women say that they watch porn at least once a month.
2. 2.47% of families in the United States reported pornography in their home.
3. Pornography increases the infidelity rate by 300%. Fifty-six percent of divorces involve one party having an obsessive interest in porn. 4.11 is the average age a child is first exposed to porn, and 94% of children will see it by the age of 14.
In fact, pornography is one of the most searched terms on the internet. It is rampant in the world today and fuels lust, adultery, rape, and homosexuality. The enemy has taken one of the most amazing gifts that God has given us, the gift of sex, and twisted it.
Porn can be traced back to AD 79 when the ruins of Pompeii, a first-century Roman city destroyed by a volcano, revealed a two-story brothel. Found in each room were erotic wall paintings depicting various sexual acts. If we use Cornell Law School’s definition of “erotic or sexual acts designed to cause sexual arousal,” it proves that porn was around even in biblical times.
So, what does the Bible say about porn? From a very technical standpoint, the word pornography does not appear in the Bible. The word pornography is a construction from the two roots porneia and graphe.
The Greek root word, porniea, however, appears many times in the New Testament. This term is often translated in English as whoredom, fornication, adultery, or sexual immorality. You might say that porneia is a “catch-all” word for any type of filth or perversion. The battle against porn and sexual purity has raged for generations, and it has become more sophisticated and widespread as the years have passed. But God’s message to us remains the same.
But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart (Mathew 5:28).
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body (1 Corinthians 6:18-20).
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it (1 Corinthians 10:13).
For this reason, God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error (Romans 1:26-27).
Over and over, the Bible makes it clear that we are to avoid sexual immorality because it has a lasting residual effect. The images stay in our minds, it creates soul ties, it changes how we view sex, how we treat women, and it rewires our brains.
Porn is worse than any drug ingested because the more we watch, the more we want. Just as a drug user must consume greater quantities of drugs or more powerful drugs to achieve the same “high,” pornography drags a person deeper and deeper into hard-core sexual addictions and ungodly desires.
Pornography is addictive (1 Corinthians 6:12; 2 Peter 2:19) and destructive (Proverbs 6:25-28; Ezekiel 20:30; Ephesians 4:19). Lusting after other people in our minds, which is the essence of pornography, is offensive to God (Matthew 5:28). It grows more risqué and daring, and it takes more and more to satisfy. A second physical effect is that it makes the porn viewer want an outlet.
At some point, the viewer desires more than just to see pornography, which often leads him to other sins. It also brings about a double life. The individual addicted has the life that everyone sees, but then he has this dark secret he doesn’t want anyone to know about. Often, that secret life leads to lies to cover it, and it also brings feelings of guilt and shame.
There is no sin too great that it cannot be forgiven by the blood of Jesus on the cross. The death of Jesus made atonement for every sin. In our fleshly thinking, prompted by the lies offered by the enemy, we tend to think that we’re too far gone. You don’t have to live a life of guilt and shame. Christ was willing to settle the debate, and He believes that you’re worth it.
When we trade our sin for Savior, we trade our old lives and identity. Our new identity is simply: I am a man of God. I am a woman of God. Or even more simply: I am a child of God. You must pursue a true fellowship with God; the kind of relationship where you can go to Him when you feel broken, tempted, and alone. You can rewire your brain through Romans 12:2. You can break free.
The first step is to confess your sins. The second is accountability, possibly counseling, and restoration of any relationships that may have been damaged and then take practical steps to reduce your exposure to graphic images.
The X3 Pure: X3 Pure is part of the X3 network, which is comprised of X3 Church, X3 Watch, and X3 Pure and is under the umbrella of Fireproof Ministries. X3 Pure provides four different 30-day online, private workshops. The first is for single and married men struggling with pornography or sexual addictions; the second is for women struggling with addiction to porn or sex, or with issues from sexual abuse and misuse; the third is for couples dealing with communication and conflict issues, and the fourth is for parents seeking help in navigating the challenges of raising children.
This website also contains information for pastors and wives, and information about pornography addiction; marriage and pornography; same sex attractions; testimonials; and ways of evaluating whether you are addicted to pornography. Finally, this website provides an opportunity to ask a question and to have it answered within one business day.
Every Man’s Battle: Every Young Man's Battle is a best-selling Christian book written by Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker, and Mike Yorkey that also covers opposition to premarital sex and pornography for teenage boys.
Conquer Series: Join 1 million men in over 80 countries who are learning to live free of porn through the proven strategies and practical tools taught in the Conquer Series. Now in two action-packed, 5-week volumes, each containing biblical teaching to help men walk in freedom.
Covenant Eyes: Screen Accountability sends a report of your screen activity to a trusted friend who holds you accountable.
Open DNS: OpenDNS is a company and service that extends the Domain Name System by adding features such as phishing protection and optional content filtering in addition to DNS lookup if its DNS servers are used.
©iStock/Getty Images Plus/allanswart
Heather Riggleman is an award-winning journalist and a regular contributor for Crosswalk. She calls Nebraska home with her three kids and a husband of 22 years. She believes Jazzercise, Jesus, and tacos can fix anything and not necessarily in that order! She is author of I Call Him By Name Bible Study, the Bold Truths Prayer Journal, Mama Needs a Time Out, and a contributor to several books. You can find her at www.heatherriggleman.com or on Facebook. 
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Brett Butcher with Hope Forrester 10 Minute Read

I saw hardcore pornography for the first time around the first or second grade. The effects it had on my life were similar to those of abuse.
I was reintroduced to porn at a bookstore as a middle-schooler. Those were hard years for me and porn felt like a relief — something good in the midst of something bad. I was hooked.
Learn real solutions to overcome hurts and struggles, and start to thrive in life.
I came to Christ at a young age and grew up in church, but there was always a dark side to me. I began feeling guilty in high school but learned it was better not to talk about it. I thought I needed to figure it out on my own, just Jesus and me.
Maybe you’ve fought a similar battle. Maybe you’re fighting one now or know someone who is. You’re not alone.
When I was 21, I attended Bible school in Austria and later entered full-time Christian ministry. I brought my pornography addiction with me. I lived two lives, and my shame started to grow. I didn’t understand why I was powerless over this sexual darkness, so I hid that life at whatever cost.
I took a year away from ministry to focus on restoration. It was a great year, but it didn’t help with my addiction. I attended counseling, but that didn’t help with my addiction.
I believed Jesus wanted to transform me, but I could not understand why He wouldn’t heal this area. I decided either I was broken beyond repair or that, maybe, God wasn’t real. I was in despair, completely hopeless. I had tried everything and stopped believing I could be free.
A chance encounter with Ted Roberts, founder of Pure Desire Ministries, resulted in my wife and me beginning his counseling and recovery program. I had finally met a Christian man who could make sense of what was happening in my life. Ted and his wife navigated us through sexual addiction counseling integrated with a biblical worldview.
I learned that at the core of sexual bondage, there’s often an intimacy wound. Now when I struggle, I understand why and have resources to help. My intimacy wounds are healing, and I’m learning how to trust my wife and the Lord with all of me.
I can now say I’ve had three years of solid sobriety with no acting out. I’m taking what I learned from Ted and teaching others because this topic is something people are desperate to hear.
Everyone seems to want a book, and there are some good books. But you can’t read or pray your way out of this. You were likely wounded in a relationship, and that’s where you’ll find healing. In the context of safe community groups, you must focus on four areas:
You can go to a group and talk about struggles with work or alcohol, but when you say you struggle with sexual issues, it clears the room. There’s so much shame around this topic. We feel the need to hide our sexual struggles, so we learn to hide from and deceive even ourselves. Commit to honesty at all costs.
There is more knowledge about how the brain works now than ever before. Sexual addiction is not just a moral problem; it is also a brain problem. 
We are not merely making a poor moral choice when we choose to indulge in sexual sin. A powerful chemical neurotransmitter called dopamine, or the “gotta have it” molecule, is released in our brains when we view porn or act out sexually.
We can develop a brain problem with moral implications that can’t be healed by moral solutions alone. We cannot just read our Bibles more, pray more or attend more small groups. We must be transformed by the renewing of our minds, and we must find healing for our wounds.
We live in a broken, fallen world. You can grow up in a perfect family with tons of support and still get hurt. Some people can process their pain relationally with others, but many of us can’t do that. We don’t know how. We find ways to numb our pain, and those can become addictions.
Ultimately, you must go on the journey of exploring your own life and ask, Where have I been wounded and how do those wounds affect me today? 
Have you been hurt by abuse? Divorce? High school? If we don’t identify these wounds, we’ll end up treating the symptoms rather than the root problems. You must explore your own story with safe people. Discover where you’ve been wounded and allow yourself to process that pain. Then you can find healing.
If you don’t know how to do accountability well, you’ll find yourself in relapse over and over again. You fail, you confess and pray. You fail, you confess and pray. Eventually, you stop being so transparent because it’s simply not helping.
Begin looking at the circumstances around you and identify stressors, such as marriage, work or finances. Look for the triggers, and then choose to stay in the pain and process it with others rather than trying to numb it with porn or other addictions.
Be watchful when you are hungry, angry, lonely or tired (HALT). Talk with your accountability group about what you desire when you are in these states. Process ways you can respond better together. Be relational with your pain. The biblical idea of “weeping with those who weep” and “rejoicing with those who rejoice” (Romans 12:15) is a learned skill for many of us, and it takes practice. Let others into your pain, celebrations, joy — live life in color with close friends rather than just keeping things on the surface.
There is hope. You can find lasting freedom. But you won’t find it alone, with just you and Jesus. Breaking isolation and learning to ask for help — that’s where trust is built and freedom is found.
This journey is difficult, but I’m now walking with integrity and purity, and you can too.
The first step in this journey is that we must trust the only One who can conquer sin — Christ. Have you made the decision to trust Christ as your Lord and Savior? Learn how here.
Do you struggle with temptations like lust or pornography? If so:
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