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the pee tape
Apr . 18, 2019
Donald Trump .
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On Thursday, Attorney General William Barr released Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s two volume, 400-plus-page report on his investigation into the Trump administration’s possible collusion with the Russian government in the lead-up to the 2016 presidential election . I know, I know: But what about the pee tape ?
Wait, you might be saying, remind me about the pee tape? What’s on it? Is it real? Are there porn parodies? To help refresh your memory, we’ve compiled every single thing we know .
First thing’s first: What exactly is supposed to be on this “pee tape”? The video in question reportedly shows Trump in the presidential suite at Moscow’s posh Ritz-Carlton Hotel, watching two prostitutes pee on a bed the Obamas supposedly slept in . The incident allegedly took place in 2013, when Trump was visiting Moscow to attend the Miss Universe pageant .
So, is this what you would call a “golden shower”? Not technically . A golden shower is when people pee on each other for sexual pleasure . Trump watching women pee on a bed to spite the president, but not peeing or getting peed on himself, isn’t a golden shower, but it could be considered a form of urolagnia , which is sexual excitement associated with the sight or thought of urine and/or urination .
Wait, who filmed it? The Ritz-Carlton was allegedly under surveillance by the FSB , Russia’s main state security agency, and successor to the KGB, which had microphones and hidden cameras in many of the rooms, including, it seems, the soiled presidential suite .
So… That means, if it indeed exists, Russian president Vladimir Putin is likely in possession of the tape .
Which means… There is a chance the president of the United States could be vulnerable to blackmail by the Russian government, or, as New York ’s Jonathan Chait has suggested, is currently being blackmailed by them .
Yikes, okay . So what is the Steele dossier, and what does it have to do with the tape? The Steele dossier is a collection of 17 intelligence reports that were compiled by former MI6 operative and Russian specialist Christopher Steele in 2016 . Steele was hired by Fusion GPS, a private political research firm based in Washington, D .C ., which had, in turn, been hired by the Democratic National Committee and the Hillary Clinton campaign to look into Trump’s ties to Russia . One of the reports, dated June 20, 2016, details Trump’s “(perverted) conduct” at the Ritz-Carlton .
Steele concluded that the Russian government has been “cultivating, supporting and assisting” Trump for years, and that it had colluded with members of the Trump presidential campaign to help him win the 2016 election .
The reports had been floating around in media and political circles for some time (both President Obama and then-President-Elect Trump had reportedly been briefed on the contents of the dossier in early January 2017) when, on January 10, 2017, BuzzFeed News published the document online, and it wasn’t long before outlets everywhere seized on the detail of the possible pee tape .
How credible is Steele’s report of the pee tape? That’s up for some debate . As Jane Mayer noted in The New Yorker , all four of Steele’s sources on the pee tape had only secondhand knowledge of it — none of them had seen it themselves or spoken to the prostitutes allegedly involved .
That being said, they seem like fairly knowledgeable players . According to Mayer, they are described as: “a former top-level Russian intelligence officer still active inside the Kremlin,” a “member of the staff at the hotel,” a “female staffer at the hotel when trump had stayed there,” and “a close associate of Trump who had organized and managed his recent trips to Moscow .”
Can I read the Steele dossier? Yes . You can read the documents BuzzFeed uploaded here .
What does Trump have to say about it? Trump has vehemently denied the golden-shower allegations but, like the rest of us, is somewhat obsessed with them . He has publicly called the dossier “ fake ” and he repeatedly denied the tape’s existence to former FBI Director James Comey, who says the president told him : “I’m a germaphobe . There’s no way I would let people pee on each other around me . No way .”
He also reportedly told Comey that there was no way the pee tape could exist “because he had not stayed overnight in Moscow but had only used the hotel room to change his clothes .” As Mother Jones ’ David Corn and Michael Isikoff reported in March, however, Trump did in fact stay overnight at the Ritz-Carlton in Moscow, approving the Miss Universe finalists on November 8, 2013 (as a Miss Universe staffer later noted, “If there were too many women of color, he would make changes,”) and attending the final of the pageant itself on November 9 .
Didn’t James Comey say it was “possible” the pee tape is real? Yes . Granted, it was in April 2018, while the former FBI director was promoting his book, A Higher Loyalty , so take it with a grain of salt .
Comey said Trump asked him to investigate whether Putin has the tape, writing , “He brought up what he called the ‘golden showers thing’ … adding that it bothered him if there was ‘even a 1 percent chance’ his wife, Melania, thought it was true . He just rolled on, unprompted, explaining why it couldn’t possibly be true, ending by saying he was thinking of asking me to investigate the allegation to prove it was a lie . I said it was up to him .”
He also told ABC’s George Stephanopolous during an interview that month that it’s “possible” the pee tape is real:
I honestly never thought these words would come out of my mouth, but I don’t know whether the current president of the United States was with prostitutes peeing on each other in Moscow in 2013 . It’s possible, but I don’t know .
So, is the tape real? While we can’t be entirely sure, and there are certainly many people who believe it is real, the pee tape probably doesn’t exist .
As Madison Malone Kircher noted over at Intelligencer , footnotes in the second volume of the Mueller report show that Trump’s former attorney-slash-fixer Michael Cohen got a text during the 2016 campaign from Giorgi Rtskhiladze, a Russian businessman, which said: “Stopped flow of tapes from Russia but not sure if there’s anything else . Just so you know .”
The tapes, Rtskhiladze told investigators, “‘referred to compromising tapes of Trump rumored to be held by persons associated with the Russian real estate conglomerate Crocus Group, which had helped host the 2013 Miss Universe Pageant in Russia .” But although Rtskhiladze says he was told the tapes were fake, “he did not communicate that to Cohen .”
It’s unclear whether any of the tapes in question were the alleged pee tape, but even if they were, they appear to have been fakes .
Lastly, are there porn parodies of the tape? Yes .
Links? No, that’s a journey you’ll have to take on your own .
I will tell you that on January 11, 2017, the day after the Steele dossier was released online, the website PornHub says it saw a 273 percent spike in searches for the term “golden shower,” (people urinating on, or being urinated on by their partner .) PornHub also notes that the demographic most likely to search for golden showers is men over 65, a group to which Trump has belonged for some time .
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From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
4th episode of the twentieth season of South Park
^ Sniderson, Dan (23 July 2016) . "Comic-Con 2016: South Park creators talk Pokemon, killing Kenny again" . Entertainment Weekly . Retrieved 21 May 2017 .
^ Schedeen, Jesse (October 12, 2016) . "South Park: "Wieners Out" Review" . IGN . Retrieved October 13, 2016 .
^ Lambert, Jeremy (October 13, 2016) . "South Park 20 .4 Review – "Wieners Out " " . 411 Mania . Retrieved October 13, 2016 .
^ Caffrey, Dan (October 13, 2016) . " " Wieners Out" • South Park • TV Review After a week off, South Park returns with a memorable gross-out gag" . The A .V . Club . Retrieved October 13, 2016 .
^ Longo, Chris (October 13, 2016) . "South Park: Weiners Out Review" . Den of Geek . Retrieved October 13, 2016 .
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" Wieners Out " is the fourth episode in the twentieth season of the American animated television series South Park . The 271st episode of the series overall, it first aired on Comedy Central in the United States on October 12, 2016 .
The episode lampooned modern social protest movements and campaigns (like Free the Nipple [1] and Black Lives Matter ) and commented on Internet anonymity , while also progressing the plot and themes of the season's previous episodes .
A Danish narrator explains the Danish history of dealing with trolls and that now they are on a quest to take out the newest variety, the Internet troll . Gerald Broflovski feels the pressure of being found out for his trolling as Skankhunt42, and he tries as much as he can to cover it up . Meanwhile, Kyle feels guilt over the rift between the boys and the girls . When he tries to bring them together, it only strains their relationships further, and Butters takes on a leadership role after the elementary school girls convince his long-distance girlfriend Charlotte to dump him online . He takes down his pants, exposing his penis , in protest of feeling shamed for his gender, at a girls' volleyball game . Most of the boys immediately follow suit, disgusting the girls even more . Gerald struggles with his trolling withdrawal, eventually meeting with a fellow troll known as Dildo Schwaggins under a bridge, who warns Gerald of an upcoming attack from the Danes . Gerald eventually succumbs to the pressure and Sheila catches him in the bathroom while trolling on an iPad that Sheila bought for him . Still reluctant to reveal his inner troll self, Gerald lies to Sheila, saying that he was watching " piss porn ", and he agrees to be urinated on to cover up his secret . He even attends an addiction meeting, but it turns out to be for member berry addicts instead .
When talking with Cartman and Heidi Turner , who are now boyfriend and girlfriend, Kyle realizes that he will not be able to stop Butters, who is now leading protest marches without pants, from worsening the rift on his own, so he attempts to get Cartman on his side . Cartman refuses since he feels that he is happier with Heidi, away from the divisiveness of groups and social media . Schwaggins shows Gerald a video by the BBC News that explains a Danish website known as Troll Trace designed to track down the real-life identity of Internet trolls is coming online . The founder of the site threatens to expose trolls everywhere, although he is aware that his methods will have the greater effect of stripping anonymity from anyone posting on the Internet . Schwaggins and Gerald retreat to a group of other trolls . Kyle meets up with the boys and girls at the school cafeteria, where he announces that he now agrees to Butters' protest . As he pulls out his penis in front of them, most of the girls leave in disgust, and the boys cheer and carry him out on their shoulders .
Jesse Schedeen from IGN rated the episode an 8 .4 out of 10, and commented that he loved the "more focused episode this week as the series continues to lampoon social media ." [2] Jeremy Lambert with 411 Mania gave it a 7 .5 out of 10, summarizing his review with the comment "There's no denying the brilliance of South Park when they are focused on a story ." [3] Dan Caffrey from The A .V . Club rated the episode an A- and found the scene with Sheila urinating on Gerald while Ike and Kyle watch from the doorway "the kind of nasty sight gag that's become a staple of the South Park universe ." [4] Chris Longo with Den of Geek rated it 3 .5 out of 5 stars, still continuing his theory that this season "is still Eric Cartman's South Park , one we've been building up to for decades ." [5]
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Nov . 25, 2021
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This is the Murphy’s Law episode — (mostly) anything that could go wrong did go wrong . We remain marooned on Greek life island — not surprising since it’s one of the more salacious things under-21s can take part in — and most of the episode hinges on the Thetalympics party Nico’s frat is hosting . We have all our college girls at one party for the first time since the first episode, and it’s nice . They’re not exactly close (no one knows about Dalton; Leighton won’t come out), but we watch them process their turmoils next to each other, a different but still formative kind of bonding .
But before the turmoil, there’s the ~magic~ . In this case, Nico “Captain Crunch With Abs But Also Erectile Dysfunction” Murray left a comment on Kimberly’s Instagram . Kimberly, Bela, and Whitney all freak out about how the comment undoubtedly means that Nico wants to bang, despite it coming across as somehow even more sterile than the needle Walgreens used to deliver my booster shot .
As a reminder, Nico wrote, “That dress tho .” and there was an emoji involved, but it doesn’t make it any better . Moments like this really cement the fact that the show’s writers are all well over 30 because no one has gotten “sexy hot teen” from “that [noun] tho” since nearly ten years ago . And anyway, as a eunuch (I suspect), Nico would have felt much more comfortable telling Kimberly that “it’s giving … it’s giving Cher .”
But the comment doesn’t matter for long; the dirty bastard ends up deleting it! Bela assures Kimberly that this, if anything, is a good sign, showing that Nico thought about the post hard enough to remember to revisit it the next day . Later, Kimberly shares that, although Nico watched her Instagram Story in two-minute record timing after she replied to his party invite with a “GIF of a baby running real fast,” he said “jk” and then “whoops! That was meant for someone else .” Kimberly really should just focus on completing her econ assignment, which is due at midnight, but yes, this is all great for Kimberly and Nico’s bone-dry relationship . Let’s put it in the dehydrator and tell Ben Shapiro’s wife .
After the party, Nico walks Kimberly home, and she does miss the submission time for her econ assignment, but maybe it was worth it? Unclear . But enough of Nico; let’s get to his repressed little sister . This was actually a very good Leighton episode . That lonely shell she’s grown around herself finally starts to crack, predictably, with the help of enemies-to-lovers bait Alicia .
When they hear about the Thetalympics party, the Women’s Center members share that, although they’ve been campaigning to ban Greek life from campus, they’re willing to hold off judgment until actually attending a frat event themselves . Much to Leighton and Nico’s dismay, of course . Sorry, we’re talking about Nico again . All his flannels gained sentience and hacked into my laptop to blackmail me .
Nico scrambles to rid Thetalympics of “triggers,” like “sombreros, kimonos, and fake Afros,” which don’t really make sense at an Olympics-themed party, but I’m glad the writers were able to cram some cultural-appropriation belittlement in there . But Alicia wants Nico to know that she’s a cool lesbian activist and not a lesbian activist who hates binge-drinking, urging him just to chillax and hold her feet for a keg stand .
Surprisingly, it works, and the Women’s Center members seem to have a good time in frat heaven . I was not aware that small liberal arts colleges could throw parties that don’t have the vibe of Spotify playlists with titles like “White Man Kisses Truck on Lips,” but this one had treadmills and not one truck with eyelashes . But, like with all of the girls in this episode, the night goes well until it really, really doesn’t .
Alicia laughs outside the party with Leighton, who’s warming up to her in a way she hasn’t warmed up to anyone, but a drunk guy decides to take a piss right next to them . Alicia tells him to please pee somewhere else, but then things take a darker turn when he calls her the D-slur . Alicia knocks him to the ground and kicks him in the stomach; Leighton pulls her off of him; Alicia says Leighton could never understand because she’s a “pretty, blonde, straight girl who [men] actually think is worthy of respect .”
Overwhelmed by her emotions, her worry for Alicia, and the heavy weight of her secret, Leighton takes that line as permission for her to finally come out to someone that really knows her . And she does it … with a kiss! Then Alicia and Leighton have sex and watch Netflix after Alicia’s urging, marking the first time that Leighton hasn’t immediately run away from someone she was just intimate with . Okay, now let’s UNPACK ALL THAT .
I don’t doubt that many people will find this particular set of scenes conflicting . I’m stuck on the fact that media often depicts being queer alongside violence , which is a reality for many people, but those people are usually poor, Black or Latinx, and/or gender nonconforming . I don’t think that having a middle-class, cis, half-white woman punch a guy for calling her a slur is cathartic or constructive to see for the people closest to that situation actually happening .
In terms of story, though, it makes sense that Leighton would need something big to knock her out of her set ways, and seeing her build genuine connections to people for the first time is a lovely development in her coming-of-age .
But the clunky attempts to highlight real-world issues did not stop there! For the entirety of this episode, Whitney focuses on “standing up against discrimination .” The discrimination has nothing to do with being a Black woman at a majority white college with mostly white roommates, though (unexplored territory that I hope the show eventually addresses), but in showcasing the differences between men and women college athletes .
I’m being hard to please, and this is a legitimate issue that I’m glad the show addresses, but every time we see Whitney, she’s either with her foot-fungus older boyfriend or crying over how he has foot fungus . This is the first episode where we spend most of it without him — can’t we define Whitney as an individual without any opposition?
Nico’s collection of pleather belts just emailed me the word “NO” in tiny, tiny Garamond, so, whatever, here’s what went down . Upon discovering that the men’s soccer team got cute team sweat
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