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Mother-son incest victim describes shame, and redemption through his son.
Dec. 1, 2009— -- The molestation began as gentle fondling when Gregg Milligan was 4 years old, but it soon escalated to aggressive touching and eventually beatings that would render him unconscious.
For seven years, until Michigan child welfare workers intervened when he was 11, Milligan was too ashamed to reveal that his tormentor was his own mother.
"She was very brutal," said Milligan. "Through her difficulty reaching climax, she would become frustrated and violent, hitting and punching and slapping not only my genitals, but my face and body."
"It was terribly confusing, and it wasn't just the violation," said Milligan, now 46, and director of infrastructure for a major health care provider in Michigan.
As bad as the incest was, things got worse. Milligan's father had left when he was 2, but by the time he was 8, his mother, an alcoholic and a prostitute, invited strange men home who would sexually abuse him.
"Back then I would never tell anyone, not even a sibling," said Milligan, the most "compliant and sensitive" of three children living at home. "I was just too afraid. It was so horrendous for me to believe she actually would do this to me."
One of the unspeakable secrets in the world of child sexual abuse is that mothers can be molesters. Often, they prey on daughters, but more frequently their sons -- who report increased feelings of isolation and sexual confusion along with thoughts of suicide.
Both of Milligan's parents are now dead, but his past still haunts him.
"Around 10 years old, I started to get this unbelievable feeling of dread that if I don't get out I am going to die from the decadence, the debauchery, the forced molestations and the beatings that became more severe," he said. "For three months I suffered from hysterical paralysis."
An estimated one in four girls and one in seven boys will be sexually assaulted or abused before the age of 18, according to the Alabama-based National Children's Advocacy Center . In 27 percent of these cases, the abuse is perpetrated by the child's parents.
Previous studies of day care workers published in 2000 in the Journal of Sex Research, found that women -- without male accomplices -- accounted for only about 6 percent of the abuse of females and 14 percent of males.
But more recent national surveys indicate about 12 percent of all child abuse cases are committed by women -- "a 100 percent increase compared with previous data," according to Chris Newlin, NCAC's executive director.
"We view females as care givers and protectors of children," he told ABCNews.com. "Now we are beginning to understand females are sexually abusing children, and it is occurring much more."
Professionals are stymied by public perception that incest is "an ugly subject," and that women can't commit such crimes.
"If it's a 35-year-old female and a 14-year-old boy, we'd say the boy is getting lucky," said Newlin. "And if it was a 35 year-old male and a 14-year-old girl, we'd call that a pervert."
And boys like Milligan aren't often believed.
"We have this overarching thing that goes back to the Salem witch trials of children making up stories," said Newlin. "You can't trust kids."
Survivors like Milligan say that these crimes often go unnoticed, not just because society can't imagine women as aggressors, but because boys feel riddled with shame.
"There is this terrible stigma that boys crave sex," said Milligan. "We are just as impressionable and naive and just as afraid. How can anything be consensual at 4 or 11 years old?"
He was finally able to tell all in the self-published memoir he took a decade to write -- initially titled "God Must Be Sleeping," he changed the title to reflect a more upbeat chronicle of his survival, "A Beautiful World."
But Milligan has much to be positive about. Though his childhood was ravaged, he has managed to raise a son, now 23, who "has never known violence or abuse."
Today, Milligan is a spokesman for the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, sharing his experiences as a survivor.
About 10 percent of all crisis calls to the RAINN hotline are from males, according to program director Jennifer Wilson, who said they get about 100,000 calls a year.
"This crime is hard to track because people just don't share it with law enforcement," she told ABCNews.com.
In September, when child star MacKenzie Phillips went on the "Oprah Winfrey Show" to disclose her father had raped her at the age of 19, calls to RAINN's hotline from incest victims "spiked."
Mothers who sexually abuse tend to have higher rates of mental illness and are often the victims of abuse themselves. They also have easier access to children.
"It's easy for women to go unnoticed," said Wilson. "And at the legal stage, they get lighter sentences."
Because incest is considered taboo, few boys come forward and social service providers are not often trained in detecting signs in women abusers.
One victim, Dominic Carter, a TV news reporter in New York, wrote about his own abuse at the hands of his mother in his 2007 memoir, "No Momma's Boy." Earlier this month, Carter was convicted of attempted assault after a 2008 fight with his wife, and could face up to three months in jail.
As a child, Milligan turned his anguish inward.
"My brother and sister could leave the house and naturally play with friends," he said. "I was petrified to leave mother. The clear sense was that if I did, the punishment would be worse."
His mother also threatened to kill herself and Milligan said he more than once was hit by cars while chasing his mother into the street.
His father was equally volatile, returning once to beat his mother "so bad he left her with an eye hanging out of the socket."
Teachers were also unaware of the abuse. "In their defense, I was kept out of school," he said about his frequent injuries. "My mother was very cunning."
The family was on welfare, but when social service workers paid their visits, the children were "always pushed out of the house and not allowed to come home," Milligan said.
Dr. Carole Jenny, a pediatrician and director of the Child Protection Program at Hasbrow Children's Hospital in Providence, R.I., said sexual abuse by mothers is "really hard to diagnose -- most of the time it's not witnessed."
"Most kids have normal exams, and most parents give a credible history," she said. "Most prepubescent boys and girls don't have any lasting physical findings. Abrasions and redness disappear within 24 hours of the event."
For young children, like Milligan, who eventually called an older married sister to intervene, getting help is difficult.
"I was sneaking money and stealing coins and running down to the pay phone and begging, 'Please come and save us,'" he said. "She eventually did but was reluctant because she was afraid."
After a court battle -- his mother unsuccessfully sought custody -- Milligan lived for a time with his sister, immersing himself in books and trying to catch up.
He had missed so much school that he could only read at a third-grade level.
"I could tell time and tie my shoes, but I struggled through my first book, Dr. Seuss' 'Green Eggs and Ham,'" he said. "I read the whole summer and pored though every book I checked out of the library. By seventh grade I barely passed, but I never quit. I kept trying and trying."
But the abuse took its toll. Until he was 16, Milligan had panic attacks and wet his bed, seeing countless child psychologists and therapists.
But by the time he was asked to leave his sister's at 16, he was an A student and involved in athletics.
Though he drifted out of foster homes and shelter with friends and priests, Milligan eventually went on to college and later graduate school.
"To this day the one question people ask is why I survived," he said. "I don't know, maybe there was something bigger and better than all of us and I tapped in to it. But I remind people it doesn't come without its problems."
As an adult, Milligan now needs medication to sleep and still has chronic nightmares, as well as anxiety attacks. "I find myself carrying around a paper bag, but I've managed to avoid the pitfalls of any addictions," he said.
Some men who are abused by their mothers become hypersexual or addicted to pornography, others avoid contact altogether.
Milligan, too, struggles with intimacy in relationships. His first marriage ended in divorce, but he has since remarried. "She is a wonderful woman and working with me in therapy."
Milligan's "happy ending" was watching his son from the first marriage -- "the sweetest, most gentle young man" -- recently graduate summa cum laude from college.
"If there is any indication of success, it's not me or the fact that I graduated from college or writing a professional position," he said. "It's my son -- he has never known violence, only love."
But his own attitude has also fueled Milligan's recovery. "I wanted to focus on the possibility of change and perseverance," he said. "I honestly don't know why I chose to read instead of doing drugs."
With good treatment, many male victims like Milligan do survive, according to Nancy Cotterman, director of the Broward County Sexual Abuse Treatment Center in Fort Lauderdale, Fla.
"I don't think they ever forget, but there are many who become empowered adolescents and adults."
What's lacking, say experts, is public awareness of mother-son abuse.
"We have the laws we need, the professionals in every profession and a tremendous network of highly trained and capable individuals in the U.S. to respond to sexual abuse," said NCAC's Newlin. "The greatest challenge is that it is such an ugly subject that most people have a hard time wanting to pay attention to it"
For free, confidential, 24/7, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE or go to the online hotline.

The following list contains movie which either have as a major plot point or just have insinuation towards the topic of incest, one of the more taboo topics in our current culture.
Not Rated | 153 min | Crime, Drama, Romance
A man and his stepdaughter have a sexual relationship.
PG-13 | 83 min | Drama, History, Horror
The curse turns out to be caused by the father sexually abusing his daughter.
Jake Wyler attempts to avoid any physical contact with his younger sister Catherine Wyler, who is sexually attracted to him and makes various attempts to win his affection, even going far as to dance seductively with him as his love interest Janey Briggs watches.
The protagonist discovers that his childhood love interest Jenny along with her sisters, has been sexually abused by her widowed alcoholic father, narrating how her daddy was "a loving man. He was always kissing and touching her and her sisters."
A man and his stepdaughter have a sexual relationship.
After the sudden death of his wife, Remy, is forced to take care of his 14-year-old stepdaughter who, unbeknownst to him, has fallen in love with him. He finally succumbs to the girls insinuations, move out of town and start living as a couple.
R | 109 min | Horror, Mystery, Thriller
Depicts an incestuous relationship between Norman Bates and his late unstable mother Norma Bates, who abused him throughout his childhood up to his teen years. Being jilted from his mother choosing her lover over him prompted Norman to poison his mother as well as her lover then, reeling from her death, create another living personality in his head as "Mother" to replace his deceased mother, which causes him to kill women upon feeling an attraction towards them and the "Mother" personality becoming jealous.
PG | 121 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
Princess Leia and Luke Skywalker share a kiss before discovering they are twins in the first Star Wars movie.
The protagonist, Charlotte, meets her half-brother, Henrik, for the first time when they are adults and they began having an affair.
R | 119 min | Drama, Horror, Mystery
Lady Lucille Sharpe has been carrying on an incestuous relationship with her younger brother Sir Thomas Sharpe since they were children. Their relationship resulted in the birth of a sickly child which was killed by Lucille upon birth.
Fanny ends up marrying her first cousin, Edmund, the son of her mother's sister, with whom she has been in love since he befriended her as a child.
The title character has sexual relations with his sisters.
Features villains who are the product of inbreeding.
Features villains who are the product of inbreeding.
Features villains who are the product of inbreeding.
R | 87 min | Comedy, Horror, Thriller
Features villains who are the product of inbreeding.
Features villains who are the product of inbreeding.
Features villains who are the product of inbreeding.
Features villains who are the product of inbreeding.
Features villains who are the product of inbreeding.
Features villains who are the product of inbreeding.
Not Rated | 92 min | Adventure, Horror
Features villains who are the product of inbreeding.
Features villains who are the product of inbreeding.
Features villains who are the product of inbreeding.
Features villains who are the product of inbreeding.
Riff Raff and Magenta are revealed to be brother and sister who have a sexual relationship.
Brother and sister Cosmo and Nation McKinley are clearly displayed as having a sexual relationship.
Not Rated | 111 min | Comedy, Drama, Horror
About a BDSM-related mother-daughter incestuous relationship. The daughter was raped by her father when he was still alive.
PG-13 | 118 min | Comedy, Fantasy, Romance
Stuart Bessers' ex-girlfriend Kate McKay is revealed to be his close ancestor, as she is destined to travel back in time to marry another of Stuart's ancestors, Leopold.
PG-13 | 131 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
Count Dracula intends to make a young, Gypsy princess, Anna Valerious, his newest bride, both of them knowing that Dracula is one of Anna's ancestors.
R | 120 min | Action, Drama, Mystery
Features an instance of brother-sister incest as well as father-daughter incest, both resulting in possible pregnancies.
R | 99 min | Drama, Mystery, Thriller
Features a teenage girl's infatuation with her long-lost uncle.
R | 96 min | Crime, Drama, Thriller
Features an incestuous relationship between a father and a daughter.
Features Borat Sagdiyev as an incestuous journalist, also featuring his whole village in Kazakhstan living under an incestuous way of life.
PG | 145 min | Biography, Drama, History
When Anne Boleyn is on trial for treason by adultery, her own brother (among many others) is accused of being her lover.
PG-13 | 115 min | Biography, Drama, History
Where Anne Boleyn, in pure desperation to be with child, asks her own brother George to have sex with her. At first, George agrees for the sake of Anne's safety, but as they prepare, they both realise they cannot go through with it. They are both later charged with incest, and although innocent, they are both sentenced to death.
PG | 140 min | Adventure, Drama, Fantasy
Mordred is Arthur's illegitimate son born by his half-sister Morgana.
R | 86 min | Drama, Horror, Thriller
Wendell and his twin sister, Darlene, have an incestuous relationship and share it openly.
R | 98 min | Drama, Fantasy, Horror
The protagonist Tamara suffers from constant verbal abuse from her father Mr. Riley who is discovered to have harboured incestuous fantasies towards his own daughter. Once she discovers this, Tamara compels him with her witchcraft to "finish" his whole beer bottle, causing his death.
PG-13 | 100 min | Fantasy, Horror, Mystery
Lucie fell in love with a blacksmith named Henry Lazar and wanted to marry him (which according to tradition, the firstborn are to be the first to marry to their sweethearts) but she was forbidden by her mother Suzette to do so as she was Adrian Lazar's illegitimate daughter, who was her mother's lover, making her Henry's half-sister.
PG-13 | 98 min | Drama, Fantasy, Horror
Seeking a member of his pack to join him as his alpha female, the alpha male werewolf Gabriel desires to take the reluctant orphan Vivian as his mate despite both of them knowing they're uncle and niece.
John feels intense sexual desire for his sister, Franny. Franny succumbs and, after spending an entire day having sex, they move on to a strictly platonic relationship.
A brother and sister embark on a passionate but incestuous love affair. In this film, there are a few sexual scenes between the siblings.
PG-13 | 102 min | Adventure, Drama, Romance
Adoptive siblings Richard Lestrange and Lilli Hargrave grow up as lovers and have a child after being marooned on a tropical island for many years.
After the death of their mother, the siblings Jack and Julie begin an incestuous relationship.
Hilary reveals to Bonnie that her father is in prison for having an affair with her and Bonnie recounts of how joking around with her brother turned into intercourse, and that she has kept it to herself.
The hero discovers that his wife has been participating in an incestuous affair with her brother which began when they were young, and that all of his children are in fact not his own, but rather the product of the incestuous union.
Stars Julien and his disturbing life and family. Toward the end of the film, it is revealed that his sister Pearl is pregnant as a result of an incestuous action between the two of them.
One of Howie Blitzer's friends also his age, Kevin, has an incestuous relationship with his sister during a time when they are all discovering their sexuality. He clearly states that "she won't *beep* anyone else".
Features a pair of twin brother-sister figure skaters who are revealed to be lovers.
When Harold and Kumar are hiding from the FBI since they are accused to have been terrorists, they hide with a couple who turns out to be brother and sister and they tell Harold and Kumar to stay in the basement with their kid. But the guys get scared when they see that the kid is one-eyed.
Jamie is caught having sexual intercourse with her twin brother Chad by her fiance's father Donny, and blackmailed at her wedding. After the siblings announce their relationship to their family, they are chastised but continue their affair.
Not Rated | 97 min | Drama, Thriller
A couple keep their adult children ignorant of the world. At some point, they make their son choose one of his two sisters. He fondles them, eyes closed, then chooses the elder one and has sex with her.
The 17-year-old protagonist Jackie Kimball is deeply in love with her 18-year-old brother Matthew, and he, though moderately accepting of the fact, does not reciprocate.
Former step-siblings Cherilyn "Cher" Horowitz and Josh Lucas fall in love and begin a relationship together.
PG-13 | 91 min | Adventure, Come
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