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9yr old daughter started masturbating?
Hello, just recently my daughter has started masturbating in the shower. This really bothers me and I don't know how to handle it or what to say to her. I want to be open and honest and I want her to know that she can talk to me but I don't know where to start with this one. Is it normal?
Yes, totally normal. I personally would just leave it as probing her further may just end up needlessly embarrassing her. It's perfectly normal to explore your own body, why does it bother you? Can I just ask (out of nosiness) how you know she is doing it?
How do you know?! Id say its normal x
Thank you that makes me feel loads better. I walked in on her shower a few weeks ago and saw her - she immediately pretended she wasn't doing anything and bless her, my heart went out to her. She asked me to close the door when I went out which I did but I lingered on the other side listening to the rhythmic noise and aching that my baby girl was growing up Since then she asks to shower in private. I did have a heart to heart with her about growing up and experimenting etc but she wasn't keen to persue it so I let it be. It only bothers me because she's still so young and I didn't realise that she would be having these feelings at such a young age.
Thank you that makes me feel loads better. I walked in on her shower a few weeks ago and saw her - she immediately pretended she wasn't doing anything and bless her, my heart went out to her. She asked me to close the door when I went out which I did but I lingered on the other side listening to the rhythmic noise and aching that my baby girl was growing up Since then she asks to shower in private. I did have a heart to heart with her about growing up and experimenting etc but she wasn't keen to persue it so I let it be. It only bothers me because she's still so young and I didn't realise that she would be having these feelings at such a young age.
Bless her she must have been mortified when you walked in. I am almost certain I did it at that age, I have done it for as long as I can actually remember (and there's definitely nothing wrong with me ). The important thing is that she shouldn't feel it's something to be ashamed of. Perfectly normal and absolutely fine to do privately.
Thank you that makes me feel loads better. I walked in on her shower a few weeks ago and saw her - she immediately pretended she wasn't doing anything and bless her, my heart went out to her. She asked me to close the door when I went out which I did but I lingered on the other side listening to the rhythmic noise and aching that my baby girl was growing up Since then she asks to shower in private. I did have a heart to heart with her about growing up and experimenting etc but she wasn't keen to persue it so I let it be. It only bothers me because she's still so young and I didn't realise that she would be having these feelings at such a young age.
It shouldn't bother you as this is totally normal. Children as young as six learn to masturbate. It's wrong to associate masturbation with adulthood and sex because it's not quite the same.
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Oh goodness. My daughter is 9 and hadn't given it a thought! I remember my mum walking in on me, on the floor, rubbing myself against a cushion!! It was never mentioned though. X
Oh gosh.... I hope my 9yr old isn't doing such things... She still seems so young. Although she bathes with her younger siblings with the door open.... Feeling your anxiety. X
I have a 9 and 11 yr old daughters,and was cort masturbating by my 9 year old.i didn't realize she was stood watching,and now I've seen her masturbating!I feel so guilty thinking its my fault:(
Don't make an issue of it. Somebody a while ago talked about a 'growing up box' which I plan to so for my two girls soon. It included books about sex and biology, sanitary towels etc... Maybe just do something like that and offer her the choice to come to you with any questions...
What is it that you are worried about? This is perfectly normal behaviour.
Oh gosh.... I hope my 9yr old isn't doing such things... She still seems so young. Although she bathes with her younger siblings with the door open.... Feeling your anxiety. X
Not a very helpful comment - it's perfectly normal behaviour
Maybe not helpful, but a scary thought none-the-less...
Maybe not helpful, but a scary thought none-the-less...
My eldest is 9 i wouldnt feel comfortable knowing that either. How do you know she does this? and does she just touch her bits or actually masterbate? i wouldnt have known how to at 9
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Published: 19:29 BST, 22 August 2014 | Updated: 23:17 BST, 22 August 2014
A mother-of-two called the police after finding out that her 13-year-old daughter had been sending and receiving nude pictures of herself and other teens on her tablet computer.
The mom, who has not been named to protect her identity, from Dinwiddie County, Virginia, was horrified when she discovered sexually explicit content on her daughter’s electronic devices.
Her daughter had been 'sexting' boys a series of naked images on her cell phone and tablet computer and had received similar pictures back in response.
Images: The mom of a teenage girl found out that her daughter had been sending and receiving naked pictures of herself and other teens using her tablet and phone
Police: The worried mom made the difficult decision to call the police over the incident to protect her daughter
Her mother told WTVR : ‘What scares me is... this much bigger than we realize. How many others are doing this and you don't realize it.’
The parents became aware of their 13-year-old’s activity when their other child heard voices in her bedroom around 4 a.m.
They punished her and took away her electronic devices.
But when they had a quick look through the device they were unprepared for what they found.
‘Looking through the phone and the tablet we did find, sexual pictures, conversations, that were very inappropriate for her age,’ she said.
However, while none of the images showed their daughter with anyone else she was sending most pictures to boys who would then text one back to the eighth grader.
But worryingly, one 'sext' involved a high school senior.
‘We believe them to be 17-18ish... Definitely older than her, did request they have sex,’ she said.
‘Everybody wanted to be her friend, because according to these people, she was cool now.’
The girl could face criminal charges.
But her concerned parents said that they called in the sheriff's office to protect her.
‘We did this now to protect her. For now and in the future, because this could get worse, she could be taken,’ she said.
Commonwealth's Attorney Lisa Caruso said there are other options for the teen, not necessarily going through the court system.
Charges: Commonwealth's Attorney Lisa Caruso said there are other options for the teen, not necessarily going through the court system
However, the older teens could face felony charges depending on their ages.
Now, the mom is urging other parents to do more to protect their kids.
She said parents should start by having all electronics fitted with parental controls to keep children away from dangerous apps.
The comments below have been moderated in advance.

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Published by Associated Newspapers Ltd
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He is a child too? That post sounds like he's a grown man!
So Sarah are you suggesting that a parent has no control over what a 13 year old gets up to? That's it's going to happen anyway, so we may as well accept it. Does the same go for a child drinking, smoking, shoplifting?
No, but I don't see having sex with a boyfriend, in a safe environment, in a relationship in the same category as shoplifting. There's an appropriate way to be supportive.
No, but I don't see having sex with a boyfriend, in a safe environment, in a relationship in the same category as shoplifting. There's an appropriate way to be supportive.
A 13 year old is a child . I could net condone a child having sex. If she like to get drunk would would you also see that is done is a "safe environment"?
Yes actually, maybe not at 13. But lots of teenagers start drinking before 18. When I grew up we would have a few drinks at parents parties etc aged 16- a safe environment. Not in the park with a litre of vodka, behind their backs.
Regardless of age, for parents it will always be difficult to come to terms that their children are having sex. 13 is young but I guess when we're all in our 20s, 30s, 40s 13 seems even younger. She may be 13/14 but to me sounds far more mature than any 13/14 year old I know My 20 year step daughter acts like she's 14 most of the time! And as for my husband he acts 18 [emoji13] As long as she's careful, sensible and has the support around her, that is all that matters Locking them up and stopping her from seeing him will only make matters worse. What will the outcome of that be? If you want to ruin the relationship you have with her then do just that x she will forgive you one day x
Yes actually, maybe not at 13. But lots of teenagers start drinking before 18. When I grew up we would have a few drinks at parents parties etc aged 16- a safe environment. Not in the park with a litre of vodka, behind their backs.
We are not talking of 16 year olds though- we are taling about 13 years olds. So you suggest getting drunk at home at 13 is OK. Sarah I would suggest that neither of these scenarios is appropriate- either drinking vodka at home at 13 in a "safe" environment, not in the park. Same with sex at 13.
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I allow my 14 year old step son have a taste of beer, although he hated it! I would much rather him start the occasional one at home rather than peer pressure by friends
13 year olds are children . Nothing will convince me otherwise. They need our protection.
Not particularly helpful I feel and I hope you never find yourself in the OPs unenviable position. Kirsty - I feel your pain. I too have a 13 yo daughter - shes not 14 until next august! - and she has recently got her first boyfriend. She lied about who she was out with for 2 weeks (not where she was,, just who she was with) and I KNEW something was amiss. Obviously I was not happy about it to say the least but what can you do? Lock her away? Ground her indefinitely? Shes still got to go to school right?! I found out on a Tuesday and on the Friday she was bringing him round to meet me. Meeting him made me feel very strangely better. He was no man, he was a gangly 14 year old kid with braces. It was her father I was more worried about and I truly felt for him when I rang and tell him. Don't shoot the messenger I said. And he was devastated to hear this about his little girl. But the week after he paid for them to go to the cinema together, and the week after that he met him - albeit briefly! Even though hes my ex and I could strangle him sometimes, I was very proud of him for that as it must have been hard for him. But I took stock and was grateful that, after the initial lying, she was now being honest with me. Obviously I initially went mad and can 100% identify with ALL of your emotions!! But like I say, I took stock and realized that I cannot lock her up 24 hours a day and that at least she was being honest and open - even though it is early days and she insists that they will not be having sex, I however am a realist and realize that that may not always be the case! But I will cross that bridge when I have to! With regards to the comments of her being a child yadda yadda yadda, yes, she is, of course, a child, but children will be children and at that age they think they know it all don't they? I certainly did at 13! I also have a 17 year old son, would he be described as "a child"?? In the eyes of the law he certainly is but somehow that's acceptable. Huh. I think you are doing amazingly - if only we could laugh at this over a glass of wine! - and I totally understand your feelings towards her initially but you've taken a huge step in speaking to her again and she must be feeling incredibly relieved that this is all out in the open now. As I said to my daughter, she is a child playing an adults game but what are you going to gain by going mad about it? Ostracizing your daughter, making her sneak around behind your back anyway and exposing her to more danger. I think your handling of it is spot on! You don't mention his parents? Do they know about this? Are you friends with them? Could you talk with them about them being round his house so that can put your mind at rest a bit? I would rather have them round my house than possibly unsupervised at his maybe? No one can criticize you about it until they have walked a mile in your shoes. And Ive just put my trainers on to run to catch up with you! From one frazzled mother of a 13 year old girl to another - chin up and as long as you keep talking your daughter will hopefully look back at this episode and realize why you were so worried and be grateful that she had such a supportive mum to guide her and keep her safe. That's what I'm hoping anyway! xxxxxxxxxx
We are not talking of 16 year olds though- we are taling about 13 years olds. So you suggest getting drunk at home at 13 is OK. Sarah I would suggest that neither of these scenarios is appropriate- either drinking vodka at home at 13 in a "safe" environment, not in the park. Same with sex at 13.
The legal ages are different, please don't be so patronising. I don't care what your suggestion is. I will class what I think is appropriate myself. I said a few drinks at home. In your world you can't do anything until the legal age limit.
How awful 13 is so young but having been a 14 yr old (almost 15) when losing my virginity. i can only suggest not to punish her too much because she'll resent you. I wish i had a mum i could talk to back so be firm but fair on rules.
We are not talking of 16 year olds though- we are taling about 13 years olds. So you suggest getting drunk at home at 13 is OK. Sarah I would suggest that neither of these scenarios is appropriate- either drinking vodka at home at 13 in a "safe" environment, not in the park. Same with sex at 13.
Might I suggest Maron, that rather than sounding like a disapproving grandmother, you stop with the legal age limit tut tutting and actually offer some advice to the OP? As so far you have merely made disparaging remarks with regard to it being "wrong" but with no actual advice on what the OP should do. Maybe a cage for her daughter might be more "appropriate"?? Agree with Sarah. Stop being so patronizing!!
I haven't read others replies so I'm sorry if I'm repeating anything. I'm abit ashamed to admit it but I started having sex when I was just turned 14 (I was very careful never had any accidents. not that that makes a difference) I didn't feel 14 I'm my own head and i did feel ready. I never felt like I was doing anything wrong and just felt like any other person besotted with my boyfriend is what I guess I'm trying to say. people used to say i was very mature for my age. is your daughter? Now I'm not saying your daughter is right in what she is doing in the slightest. but I do think that it doesn't matter what u do its not going to stop her doing what she feels ready to do. I know if I had a daughter I'd probably freak out too and I can definately see why your worried. but I think the best thing u can do is support her the best u can. be there for her and try not to be angry about it with her. she's already done it now so there isn't any turning back really and u wouldn't want to risk pushing her away because of it as that could make things alot worse. I never told my mum about any of the things I used to get up to as a teenager so I'd say the lies are quite normal no matter how great ur relationship is with her, there's just some things teenagers don't like to discu
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