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By Erica Tempesta For Dailymail.com 13:21 BST 04 Mar 2020 , updated 09:16 BST 05 Mar 2020
Mothers who work in the adult film industry are the subjects of a photographer's powerful new series that explores the balance between motherhood and their work in pornography.
Mary Beth Koeth, 37, from Florida, traveled across the country to photograph these women at home with their children for her latest project, 'Porn Moms.' The photographer also conducted video interviews with the moms about their individual experiences.
Writer Laura Lee Huttenbach transcribed the interviews and wrote captions to accompany each of the women's photos as part of the project, revealing the women's career aspirations and their hopes for their children.
Koeth explained on her website that her series got its start when she attended the Exxxotica Expo in Edison, New Jersey, in November 2017 and met Emily Mena, a 25-year-old adult film star and mom.
She came up with the idea for 'Porn Moms' four years ago, but it took some time before she pursued the project.
'I was scared of this project for a while because I didn't know how I would find subjects or if these women would be open to sharing their stories,' she wrote.
'I wanted to know how their worlds were different from the world I had grown up in, with strict Catholic parents,' she said. 'I wanted to know how they balanced motherhood with work, and how other mothers who didn't work in porn treated them at gatherings like PTA meetings.'
When Koeth met Mena at the adult-themed expo, she learned that the actress had a four-year-old daughter, Sophia, and a baby on the way. She traveled to Phoenix, Arizona, to photograph Mena when she was seven months pregnant with her son.
'I’m grateful to these women for trusting me with a piece of their lives that, professionally, they prefer to keep secret,' Koeth said.
Emily Mena | 25 | Phoenix, Arizona | Four-year-old daughter and son on the way
'I'm a chauffeur,' says Mena, when asked to describe her day-to-day life as a mom.
Her daughter's after-school schedule is filled with soccer, gymnastics, swimming, and sometimes dance. So when Mena picks her daughter up from school, it's straight to an activity, then home to cook dinner, then help with homework.
'And I like to read to her before she goes to bed,' Mena says. 'My life revolves around her. It's a lot, but I love it. It's expensive, but I look at it as a long-term investment. Keep your kids active doing something so they're involved in their community or school or whatever, versus the streets.'
She beams when she talks about her daughter, describing her as sassy, energetic, outgoing, loving, talkative, and smart. 'And,' Mena adds, 'she has a sweet tooth.'
At the time of the photoshoot, Mena was seven months pregnant with her son, shortly after friends and family had thrown her a baby shower. 'My husband and I are really excited,' she says. 'And my daughter's excited to be a big sister.'
Mena's dream job would be acting in mainstream film and TV, but she's also considering getting her nursing degree. 'Being in the adult industry kind of hurts you a little bit, so who knows,' she says. 'I don't care what people say about me. I just don't want it to affect my children. That's all I care about.'
Her hope for her children is that 'they're genuinely happy, successful, healthy, and that they know the world is theirs. They can do anything they set their minds to. And that they're safe. There's so much bad stuff out there.'
Tiffany Brookes | 31 | Dallas, Texas | One-year-old son
Brookes wasn't planning on returning to work in the adult entertainment industry after becoming a mom. 'But you do what you gotta do,' she says.
'After having my son [I realized], I'm a single mom and oh shit, what can I do that's going to bring in income now?' She hated the idea of putting her son in daycare to take a 9-to-5 job. Though she admits working in porn can be difficult and pays less than it used to, the schedule allows her to spend more time at home with her son.
'It enables me to be a hands-on, stay-at-home mom,' she says. 'He literally is my everything. Everything you do is completely thought out around them.' Coming back to the film set with a postpartum body was challenging emotionally and physically. 'Everything that you're self-conscious about is amplified,' Brookes says.
She thought people would be able to tell right away that she'd had a baby. 'I'm constantly concerned about every time I get undressed in front of a camera. I look for people's reactions.'
When her son gets a little older, she hopes to find a new career outside adult entertainment. In the meantime, she says, 'The minute the camera is off and I'm off set, it's back to being a mom.'
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Makayla Cox | 35 | Las Vegas, Nevada | Seven-year-old daughter
Cox says her seven-year-old daughter is very popular at school.
'She's everyone's best friend,' Cox observes. 'She's full of energy.'
So their schedule is filled with birthday parties for her daughter's classmates.
With the other mothers, she finds her connection with them depends on the person. Some women don't want to know anything about her work, while others are more open.
Cox doesn't want to lie to her daughter about her job.
'She's going to grow up knowing,' she says. 'It's going to be common knowledge, [like] Oh, okay, mommy does porn for a living.'
But she finds nothing easy about being a single mom.
Her dream is to move with her daughter to Los Angeles and buy a house close to the beach, where they can live like hippies.
Cameron Canela | 24 | Las Vegas, Nevada | Newborn son
'All my friends and family knew I was adamant about not wanting children,' Canela recalls. 'I didn't want to be a mom. I actually didn't like kids at all.'
But when she found out she was pregnant, her initial reaction surprised her. 'I thought it was going to be like, What is this leech in my body? I don't want it. But I immediately felt connected.'
The birth of her son coaxed out a new version of Canela. 'I just felt like I became a whole new person in the coolest way. As cliché as it sounds, your heart just grows immediately.'
She feels the experience of being a mother has matured her and changed her relationship to working in porn.
'Before, I definitely embraced who I was in the adult industry and didn't really care how people thought about it. I was like, This is what I am, this is who I am, this is what I like to do. Now I like having more of a conservative image and being a mom. That's been the biggest transition for me, just realizing that there's still a whole other side of me.'
She's unsure about her future career plans. In school, growing up, Canela was always good with numbers and wanted to be an accountant.
She laughs when she thinks about an accountant's image as being boring, because she believes there's real potential for the work to be exciting. 'Even a therapist only knows what you tell them,' she says. 'But your accountant knows where you spend all your money. They know all your deep, dark secrets.'
Nickey Hunstman | 26 | Colorado Springs, Colorado | Nine-year-old daughter
Huntsman's daughter came into the world early and stayed in the neonatal intensive care unit for her first weeks of life. When they were discharged, her daughter went home with an oxygen tank, which she used for another month.
'I was very clingy and protective of her for the longest time when she was itty bitty,' recalls Huntsman. 'Now that she's older, she has more space.'
When Huntsman was a little girl, she participated in Girl Scouts, drama club, and talent shows. 'I was very active in the arts community,' she says.
'My daughter is kind of following in my footsteps in a lot of those areas, so that's pretty cool.' Her daughter loves to draw and paint and recently started taking karate lessons. Personally,
Huntsman took up mixed martial arts fighting last year. 'I'm not a pro or anything, but I can protect myself, which is the important thing,' she says. Becoming a mother came naturally to Huntsman. She found it easy to interpret the needs of her daughter. 'When I had her, it came automatically with mothering skills,' she says. 'Sometimes you just know that you're made to do something.'
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Mother-son incest victim describes shame, and redemption through his son.
Dec. 1, 2009— -- The molestation began as gentle fondling when Gregg Milligan was 4 years old, but it soon escalated to aggressive touching and eventually beatings that would render him unconscious.
For seven years, until Michigan child welfare workers intervened when he was 11, Milligan was too ashamed to reveal that his tormentor was his own mother.
"She was very brutal," said Milligan. "Through her difficulty reaching climax, she would become frustrated and violent, hitting and punching and slapping not only my genitals, but my face and body."
"It was terribly confusing, and it wasn't just the violation," said Milligan, now 46, and director of infrastructure for a major health care provider in Michigan.
As bad as the incest was, things got worse. Milligan's father had left when he was 2, but by the time he was 8, his mother, an alcoholic and a prostitute, invited strange men home who would sexually abuse him.
"Back then I would never tell anyone, not even a sibling," said Milligan, the most "compliant and sensitive" of three children living at home. "I was just too afraid. It was so horrendous for me to believe she actually would do this to me."
One of the unspeakable secrets in the world of child sexual abuse is that mothers can be molesters. Often, they prey on daughters, but more frequently their sons -- who report increased feelings of isolation and sexual confusion along with thoughts of suicide.
Both of Milligan's parents are now dead, but his past still haunts him.
"Around 10 years old, I started to get this unbelievable feeling of dread that if I don't get out I am going to die from the decadence, the debauchery, the forced molestations and the beatings that became more severe," he said. "For three months I suffered from hysterical paralysis."
An estimated one in four girls and one in seven boys will be sexually assaulted or abused before the age of 18, according to the Alabama-based National Children's Advocacy Center . In 27 percent of these cases, the abuse is perpetrated by the child's parents.
Previous studies of day care workers published in 2000 in the Journal of Sex Research, found that women -- without male accomplices -- accounted for only about 6 percent of the abuse of females and 14 percent of males.
But more recent national surveys indicate about 12 percent of all child abuse cases are committed by women -- "a 100 percent increase compared with previous data," according to Chris Newlin, NCAC's executive director.
"We view females as care givers and protectors of children," he told ABCNews.com. "Now we are beginning to understand females are sexually abusing children, and it is occurring much more."
Professionals are stymied by public perception that incest is "an ugly subject," and that women can't commit such crimes.
"If it's a 35-year-old female and a 14-year-old boy, we'd say the boy is getting lucky," said Newlin. "And if it was a 35 year-old male and a 14-year-old girl, we'd call that a pervert."
And boys like Milligan aren't often believed.
"We have this overarching thing that goes back to the Salem witch trials of children making up stories," said Newlin. "You can't trust kids."
Survivors like Milligan say that these crimes often go unnoticed, not just because society can't imagine women as aggressors, but because boys feel riddled with shame.
"There is this terrible stigma that boys crave sex," said Milligan. "We are just as impressionable and naive and just as afraid. How can anything be consensual at 4 or 11 years old?"
He was finally able to tell all in the self-published memoir he took a decade to write -- initially titled "God Must Be Sleeping," he changed the title to reflect a more upbeat chronicle of his survival, "A Beautiful World."
But Milligan has much to be positive about. Though his childhood was ravaged, he has managed to raise a son, now 23, who "has never known violence or abuse."
Today, Milligan is a spokesman for the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, sharing his experiences as a survivor.
About 10 percent of all crisis calls to the RAINN hotline are from males, according to program director Jennifer Wilson, who said they get about 100,000 calls a year.
"This crime is hard to track because people just don't share it with law enforcement," she told ABCNews.com.
In September, when child star MacKenzie Phillips went on the "Oprah Winfrey Show" to disclose her father had raped her at the age of 19, calls to RAINN's hotline from incest victims "spiked."
Mothers who sexually abuse tend to have higher rates of mental illness and are often the victims of abuse themselves. They also have easier access to children.
"It's easy for women to go unnoticed," said Wilson. "And at the legal stage, they get lighter sentences."
Because incest is considered taboo, few boys come forward and social service providers are not often trained in detecting signs in women abusers.
One victim, Dominic Carter, a TV news reporter in New York, wrote about his own abuse at the hands of his mother in his 2007 memoir, "No Momma's Boy." Earlier this month, Carter was convicted of attempted assault after a 2008 fight with his wife, and could face up to three months in jail.
As a child, Milligan turned his anguish inward.
"My brother and sister could leave the house and naturally play with friends," he said. "I was petrified to leave mother. The clear sense was that if I did, the punishment would be worse."
His mother also threatened to kill herself and Milligan said he more than once was hit by cars while chasing his mother into the street.
His father was equally volatile, returning once to beat his mother "so bad he left her with an eye hanging out of the socket."
Teachers were also unaware of the abuse. "In their defense, I was kept out of school," he said about his frequent injuries. "My mother was very cunning."
The family was on welfare, but when social service workers paid their visits, the children were "always pushed out of the house and not allowed to come home," Milligan said.
Dr. Carole Jenny, a pediatrician and director of the Child Protection Program at Hasbrow Children's Hospital in Providence, R.I., said sexual abuse by mothers is "really hard to diagnose -- most of the time it's not witnessed."
"Most kids have normal exams, and most parents give a credible history," she said. "Most prepubescent boys and girls don't have any lasting physical findings. Abrasions and redness disappear within 24 hours of the event."
For young children, like Milligan, who eventually called an older married sister to intervene, getting help is difficult.
"I was sneaking money and stealing coins and running down to the pay phone and begging, 'Please come and save us,'" he said. "She eventually did but was reluctant because she was afraid."
After a court battle -- his mother unsuccessfully sought custody -- Milligan lived for a time with his sister, immersing himself in books and trying to catch up.
He had missed so much school that he could only read at a third-grade level.
"I could tell time and tie my shoes, but I struggled through my first book, Dr. Seuss' 'Green Eggs and Ham,'" he said. "I read the whole summer and pored though every book I checked out of the library. By seventh grade I barely passed, but I never quit. I kept trying and trying."
But the abuse took its toll. Until he was 16, Milligan had panic attacks and wet his bed, seeing countless child psychologists and therapists.
But by the time he was asked to leave his sister's at 16, he was an A student and involved in athletics.
Though he drifted out of foster homes and shelter with friends and priests, Milligan eventually went on to college and later graduate school.
"To this day the one question people ask is why I survived," he said. "I don't know, maybe there was something bigger and better than all of us and I tapped in to it. But I remind people it doesn't come without its problems."
As an adult, Milligan now needs medication to sleep and still has chronic nightmares, as well as anxiety attacks. "I find myself carrying around a paper bag, but I've managed to avoid the pitfalls of any addictions," he said.
Some men who are abused by their mothers become hypersexual or addicted to pornography, others avoid contact altogether.
Milligan, too, struggles with intimacy in relationships. His first marriage ended in divorce, but he has since remarried. "She is a wonderful woman and working with me in therapy."
Milligan's "happy ending" was watching his son from the first marriage -- "the sweetest, most gentle young man" -- recently graduate summa cum laude from college.
"If there is any indication of success, it's not me or the fact that I graduated from college or writing a professional position," he said. "It's my son -- he has never known violence, only love."
But his own attitude has also fueled Milligan's recovery. "I wanted to focus on the possibility of change and perseverance," he said. "I honestly don't know why I chose to read instead of doing drugs."
With good treatment, many male victims like Milligan do survive, according to Nancy Cotterman, director of the Broward County Sexual Abuse Treatment Center in Fort Lauderdale, Fla.
"I don't think they ever forget, but there are many who become empowered adolescents and adults."
What's lacking, say experts, is public awareness of mother-son abuse.
"We have the laws we need, the professionals in every profession and a tremendous network of highly trained and capable individuals in the U.S. to respond to sexual abuse," said NCAC's Newlin. "The greatest challenge is that it is such an ugly subject that most people have a hard time wanting to pay attention to it"
For free, confidential, 24/7, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE or go to the online hotline.
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