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Everyone knows about porn, but not everyone knows about the brutal treatment and abuse that performers often go through to create it. Hear from 10 popular performers reveal what it’s really like to be part of the porn industry.
Trigger warning: Frank discussions of abuse are included in this article. Many readers may find the following accounts to be graphic and/or disturbing.
There are many people in our porn-saturated society who think that porn is harmless, personal entertainment.
Many people believe those in the adult entertainment industry love to have sex and get paid for it, why wouldn’t that seem like a dream? No one’s getting hurt when I watch porn is a common thought pattern many consumers have. And, we get it. Why would you have any reason to believe that the mainstream porn industry is anything less than professional, fun, safe, and sexy?
Regardless of all the overwhelming research and countless personal accounts exposing the reality of trafficking and exploitation in the porn industry , many still buy into the fantasy that the porn industry works to maintain.
A lot of people have a similar mindset as this guy who messaged us on Facebook:
“Porn hurts nobody.” “They do it because they like to do it.”
What the average porn consumer might not know is that the industry is filled with sexual violence , coercion , and exploitation .
Consider that while active porn performers rarely, if ever, speak out due to fear of being blacklisted in the industry or being discriminated against , many of those same performers end up speaking out on their real experiences once they leave the industry . These personal accounts are very often in stark contrast to our culture’s narrative about porn. And for those who do decide to leave, the porn industry still controls every image and video clip that the person can never get back .
To put an end to the “glamorous” and “sexy” facade that so many people in our society buy from the porn industry, we’ve assembled stories from ten former porn performers and their stomach-turning reflections on their time doing porn. These stories are from a now inactive organization that worked with former performers.
These stories are from women who have left the industry, but if you’d like to read stories from men who were in the industry, click here .
*READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED: We did our best to find quotes that weren’t too explicit while still preserving the true nature of the stories. Regardless, many may find the following accounts to be graphic, disturbing, and/or triggering.*
“[One particular film] was the most brutal, depressing, scary scene that I have ever done. I have tried to block it out from my memory due to the severe abuse that I received during the filming. The [male performer] has a natural hatred towards women, in the sense that he has always been known to be more brutal than ever needed. I agreed to do the scene, thinking it was less beating except for a punch in the head. If you noticed, [he] had worn his solid gold ring the entire time and continued to punch me with it. I actually stopped the scene while it was being filmed because I was in too much pain.”
*FTND Note: In our research, we found that the obscenity of the film Alex is talking about caused the distributor to forego covering any further releases from the film studio. A critic on a popular porn review site wrote that the film was “one of the most morally repugnant pornographic movies I have seen” and “is the sort of movie that the government would cite when trying to arrest pornographers and outlaw pornography.”
“Like most porn performers, I perpetuated this lie. One of my favorite things to say when asked if I liked doing a particular scene was, ‘I only do what I like! I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t like it!’ I would say this with a big fake smile and giggle. What a total lie! I did what I had to do to get ‘work’ in porn. I did what I knew would help me gain ‘fame’ in the industry.”
*FTND Note: Vanessa Belmond (real name) is now outspoken on the harms of the porn industry and has been featured in several news sources. Click here to hear more of her story .
“It was the most degrading, embarrassing, horrible thing ever. I had to shoot an interactive DVD, which takes hours and hours of shooting time, with a 104-degree fever! I was crying and wanted to leave but my agent wouldn’t let me, he said he couldn’t let me flake on it. I also did a scene where I was put with male talent that was on my ‘no list.’ I wanted to please them so I did it. He stepped on my head… I freaked out and started bawling; they stopped filming and sent me home with reduced pay since they got some shot but not the whole scene.”
“After a year or so of that so-called ‘glamorous life,’ I sadly discovered that drugs and drinking were part of the lifestyle. I began to drink and party of out control—cocaine, alcohol, and ecstasy were my favorites. Before long, I turned into a person I did not want to be. After doing so many hardcore scenes, I couldn’t do it anymore. I just remember being in horrible situations and experiencing extreme depression and being alone and sad.”
*FTND Note: Andi left the porn industry in 2010 and joined an organization that is a group of ex-porn performers that speak out on the harms of pornography. However, in 2014, Andi announced on her Twitter page that she was returning to porn.
“I got the s— kicked out of me… most of the girls start crying because they’re hurting so bad… I couldn’t breathe. I was being hit and choked. I was really upset and they didn’t stop. They kept filming. [I asked them to turn the camera off] and they kept going.”

“I have been a performer now for 14 years in the adult film industry in many countries, states…all over the place. I have worked for most of these companies, and I was around for the once-a-month HIV-positive outbreak in ’98. Yes, I was, and I got to see those performers that nobody knows about—that nobody claims that got HIV, that are not a part of the statistics—walk out the door as non-performers, not to be counted. Yeah, there are a lot of cover-ups going on. There is a lot of tragedy. There are a lot of horrible things.”
“Of course I lied to my fans. I led them to believe I lived a fantasy life that was far from the truth. I fed into their fantasies. I said I wanted sex 24/7 and made it seem like I absolutely loved what I did and was living this happy life. I gave them hope and insight into their relationships by telling them what to do. I started to feel like an important nobody, they knew Elizabeth [the porn star], but they would never care to know Jan [the real me].
I had to do whatever the producer pleased and I had to accept it or else no pay. Sometimes you would get to a gig and the producer would change what the scene was supposed to be to something more intense and again if you didn’t like it, too bad, you did it or no pay.”
*FTND Note: Jan Villarubia (real name) eventually left the porn industry and worked with an organization that helped to rehabilitate former performers, and now independently works on books and documentary features to spread awareness on the harms of the porn industry and help other porn performers get out of the business.
“People in the porn industry are numb to real life and are like zombies walking around. The abuse that goes on in this industry is completely ridiculous. The way these young ladies are treated is totally sick and brainwashing. I left due to the trauma I experienced even though I was there only a short time. I hung out with a lot of people in the adult industry, everybody from contract girls to gonzo actresses. Everybody has the same problems. Everybody is on drugs. It’s an empty lifestyle trying to fill up a void. I became horribly addicted to heroin and crack. I overdosed at least three times, had tricks pull knives on me, have been beaten half to death…”

“It was torture for seven years. I was miserable, I was lonely, I eventually turned to drugs and alcohol and attempted suicide. I knew I wanted out, but I didn’t know how to get out.”
*FTND Note: Brittni Ruiz (real name) did eventually get out and now uses her story to spread awareness of the harms of the porn industry.
“The abuse and degradation were rough. I sweated and was in deep pain. On top of the horrifying experience, my whole body ached, and I was irritable the whole day. The director didn’t really care how I felt; he only wanted to finish the video.”
___________________________________
No matter the industry, no matter the person, no one deserves to be sexually harassed or assaulted.
Mistreatment should never be expected because of a job, even for those who voluntarily enter the porn industry. We can do better than blaming victims of abuse—they deserve better than that. Consider porn’s glamorous perception in society, and how people likely didn’t fully know about the possibility of assault or rape off and on set before signing up to perform in porn.
But the harms of porn aren’t just confined to the ones in front of the camera—they also apply to those behind the screen.
There is a growing field of research that shows how consumers, relationships, and society can all be harmed by porn.
This isn’t a moral argument, it’s simply something to consider, given the facts. Click here to read more about the harmful effects of porn , and make a decision for yourself about whether you want to support and contribute to it.
Research indicates that while most porn consumers are generally unconcerned about the potential mistreatment of porn performers, about 70% of those who do learn about mistreatment in the porn industry take some form of action to combat it. Tollini, C., & Diamond-Welch, B. (2021). American adult pornography consumers’ beliefs and behaviors related to pornography studios mistreating their performers. Sexuality & Culture, doi:10.1007/s12119-021-09872-3 COPY 1 Now that you understand more about the pervasive mistreatment in the industry, what will you do to combat it?
Those who perform in the porn industry are human beings, and they don’t deserve to be degraded and treated like objects. Part of fighting for love is spreading awareness on the harms of the porn industry, and the lives that it harms. Clicking pornography contributes to the demand for more stories like these to happen to real people.
Consider before consuming , and fight for real love.
Thanks for taking the time to read through this article! As a 501(c)(3) nonprofit, we're able to create resources like this through the support of people like you. Will you help to keep our educational resources free as we produce resources that raise awareness on the harms of porn and sexual exploitation?
1 Tollini, C., & Diamond-Welch, B. (2021). American adult pornography consumers’ beliefs and behaviors related to pornography studios mistreating their performers. Sexuality & Culture, doi:10.1007/s12119-021-09872-3
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Earlier this year, Time magazine published an explosive cover story about the dangers that the proliferation of pornography poses to society. In “Porn and the Threat to Virility” writer Belinda Luscombe explained ,
A growing number of young men are convinced that their [physical, in-person] sexual responses have been sabotaged because their brains were virtually marinated in porn when they were adolescents. Their generation has consumed explicit content in quantities and varieties never before possible, on devices designed to deliver content swiftly and privately, all at an age when their brains were more plastic–more prone to permanent change–than in later life …
Porn has always faced criticism among the faithful and the feminist. But now, for the first time, some of the most strident alarms are coming from the same demographic as its most enthusiastic customers.
Just a few weeks ago, anti-abuse advocate Elizabeth Smart, who was abducted from her bedroom as a child and held for nine months, released a jarring video , explaining the role that porn played in her captivity.
He said, ‘Oh, I have something, and I’m going to show it to you. You have look at it. You have to look at it.’ And then I remember he pulled out this magazine full of hardcore pornography ,and I remember he would just sit and look at it and stare at it. And he just talked about these women and then, when he was done, he would turn, and look at me, and be like, ‘Now we’re going to do this.’ It just led to him raping me more, more than he already did, which was a lot …
I can’t say that he would not have gone out and kidnapped me had he not looked at pornography. All I know is that pornography made my living hell worse.
But, Time and Smart aren’t alone. In recent months, numerous celebrities have begun to speak out about the dangers of porn, and why it is a serious problem that needs to be addressed.
Last week, model and actress Pamela Anderson (who has appeared on the cover of Playboy more than a dozen times), wrote an op-ed in the Wall Street Journal about the massive risk porn poses to culture.
Along with Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, she called porn a “a public hazard of unprecedented seriousness” and an “experiment in mass debasement.”
They wrote, “We have often warned about pornography’s corrosive effects on a man’s soul and on his ability to function as husband and, by extension, as father … How many families will suffer? How many marriages will implode?”
In a video he called “Dirty Little Secret,” former NFL player and actor Terry Crews, explained the devastating toll it took on him: “Pornography, in a lot of ways, it really, really messed up my life … My wife was literally like, ‘I don’t know you anymore. I’m out of here.’”
He encouraged those who also struggle to come forward, and get help: “By not telling people, it becomes more powerful. But, when you tell and when you put it out there in the open … it loses its power.”
Comedian and actor Russell Brand released an articulate video , explaining porn not only how negatively effects people’s ideas about sex, but about love itself.
Our attitudes toward sex have warped and perverted and have deviated from its true function as an expression of love and a means of procreation. I heard a quote from a priest who said: ‘Pornography is not a problem because it shows us too much. It’s a problem because it shows us too little.

He said that the “icebergs of filth floating through every house on wi-fi” pose a risk greater than we can even begin to understand. Brand admits to his own past issues with porn, and says, “I feel like if I had total dominion, I’d never look at pornography again.”
Pointing to several studies about the effects of porn, Brand said porn leads to the objectification of women and damages real-world relationships and ideas about love and commitment.
Gospel music star Kirk Franklin told Oprah that once he got married, he believed his problem with looking at porn would go away, but, as explained, “That’s when I started realizing how much it was an addiction … I had to accept that I had a problem.”
He even told the story of throwing out his porn, only to go out, and try to find it: “I tried to go to sleep that night, and it was literally like a drug calling me. About 3 or 4 in the morning, in my flip-flops and boxers, I got in my car and drove back to that dumpster and dug [looking for my porn].” Franklin later confessed his addiction to his wife, and sought help from members of his church to kick the habit.
He’s since been open about the struggle, warning others (like this interview below with CBN), about porn’s dangers.
Back in 2012, Hollywood legend Raquel Welch gave a blunt interview with Men’s Health magazine, explaining why she thinks porn is damaging culture:
I think we’ve gotten to the point in our culture where we’re all sex addicts, literally … It’s just dehumanizing. And I have to honestly say, I think this era of porn is at least partially responsible for it. Where is the anticipation and the personalization? It’s all pre-fab now. You have these images coming at you unannounced and unsolicited. It just gets to be so plastic and phony to me. Maybe men respond to that. But is it really better than an experience with a real life girl that he cares about? …
I just imagine them sitting in front of their computers, completely annihilated. They haven’t done anything, they don’t have a job, they barely have ambition anymore. and it makes for laziness and a not very good sex partner. Do they know how to negotiate something that isn’t pre-fab and injected directly into their brain?
In an interview with the UK’s The Independent , acclaimed actress Juliette Binoche (The English Patient, The 33, Dan in Real Life ), said she was shocked when she found out her own husband looked at porn:
A lot of men take porn as not that important, not that serious, whereas women tend to take it personally. It’s like, ‘How can he make love to me after watching something like this?’
I think the first time I was aware that … – a partner was using porn? – … Yes. I was really shocked because I didn’t understand it. Lovemaking for me is related to feelings, and sensations with feelings, and so when you don’t have the feelings it becomes animal-like because you’re not in touch with your heart . There’s a sad and pathetic side to it.
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Jesse Carey is a mainstay on the weekly RELEVANT Podcast and member of RELEVANT's executive board. He lives in Virginia Beach with his wife and two kids.
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So terrible….but it’s never too late to grow up again your life to a good finish… JESUS would never hurt you…I feel terrible because I watch porn and I’m really trying my best to get out of it….from your experiences I now know how much you all go through…it’s not as good as it looks on the screen….really sorry but if you like you can contact me here
agahsimon7@gmail.com
Or WhatsApp me: +237678344575
Would really like to have a chat with you guys….

All of this sounds awful.
If you look up Eden Alexander, there is no caning/whipping scene with her as the victim. All the videos I found were of her engaging in very brutal torture scenes against males – torturing, caning, whipping and hitting all body parts, usually until blood is drawn.
This is very easy to research, just google her name online.
Was that consensual? Were the males informed? Did they want it to stop? We don’t know, because only women’s voices are heard here. To get a better picture, we need 50% representation of men in porn. They are paid less, work harder and are often overlooke
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