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ICM Registry, the folks behind all those helpful .xxx domains, says its next step is to create a search engine exclusively for porn. It is to launch tomorrow.
It's a filthy nuisance trying to find a movie with three bisexual men and a hula dancer from New Jersey.
It's aggravating beyond acceptance not to be able to instantly discover 5 minutes of rubber-suited short people doing things that may or may not be suited to those above 3-foot-6.
It's not as if Google or Hollywood is fulfilling these needs.
So what joy to those of an imaginative -- or simply needy -- bent that topless men and women on white horses are galloping to the rescue.
For I bring news that tomorrow will see a search engine exclusively for pornography. Yes, tomorrow.
You will be snapped out of your stiff corporate posture to learn that ICM Registry, the people who brought you those very helpful, if still slightly under-used , .xxx domains, intends to launch this Pornoogle.
ICM's CEO Stuart Lawley told Network World that 21 million of the fine .xxx pages have been categorized and are ready to be uncovered on SearchXXX.
In case you might be skeptical, he told Network World: "It's porn, only porn, all porn. There's as much porn there as anyone would need, I'd imagine."
Imagination does tend to reside solely in the hands of the beholder. Still, Lawley promises your experience will be free of viruses.
For this he credits durable products made by McAfee.
Naturally, some might be suspicious that this little wriggling for supremacy might have something to do with Google adjusting its algorithm in order to downgrade porn sites, in favor of more, well, educative sexual matter.
As Lawley put it: "Google, in their wisdom, has decided that's more relevant to what their customers are looking for."
Clearly, anyone who goes to the new .xxx search engine will be in little doubt as to what they are seeking -- relief from life's drudgery.
Lawley promises that the new search engine's experience will be both calm and ad-free. Yes, just like Google, until recent pressures sent it to the commercial dogs .
I know that many will already be experiencing suitable palpitations at the prospect of tomorrow's launch.
For myself, I'm merely wondering whether it'll have an "I'm Feeling Lucky" button.
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Move over, Google. There's a new search engine in town, and it's most definitely not safe for work. BoodiGo allows you to anonymously "search [for] what you're really looking for" -- a.k.a. porn.
BoodiGo is the brainchild of porn producer and director Colin Rowntree, who is fed up with current search engine algorithms. According to Rowntree, sites like Google and Bing bury legitimate -- as in, not pirated -- porn websites in their search results.
Just like piracy is a huge issue for Hollywood, it's also a problem for the adult entertainment industry. When people don't pay for the content they're viewing, it's detrimental to everyone who put work into that content -- regardless of whether it's PG or X-rated.
BoodiGo blocks pirated porn from its results, so users can rest easy knowing that the stuff they're viewing is legal and virus-free. (No, not that kind of virus. Computer viruses, duh!)
The search engine helps people “find legitimate, legal, non-scary, non-damaging content for their adult entertainment needs,” Rowntree told Betabeat .
Interestingly, five of BoodiGo's programmers are ex-Google employees who left the company to help Rowntree build the site. They coded everything from scratch and even added a few perks that most current search engines don't have -- like the fact that BoodiGo won't sell your info to advertisers. This means that your dirty search history won't later creep up in sidebar ads across the Internet.
And as for the site's future possibilities, “We might end up experimenting with some kind of anonymous instant messaging service as an alternative to Skype or Google Chat,” Rowntree told Betabeat . “The obvious name for that will be Boodicall.”
We'll leave you with this classic scene from "30 Rock." Maybe one day, Tracy Jordan will ask Liz Lemon if he can BoodiGo himself in her office.
©2022 Viacom International Inc. All Rights Reserved. MTV and all related titles, logos and characters are trademarks of Viacom International Inc.
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Edited by Recon Number 54:
Jan 2 2015
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Vporn. HD porn for free and no download.
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