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Key points
Porn may not be on most parents' list of things they need to discuss with their children, but it probably needs to be.
Erotic images are available anywhere there's internet and a device.
Some kids use adult entertainment as a source of information and education about sex.
By not addressing the existence of pornography, parents may be leaving kids open to otherwise preventable self-image and mental health issues.
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Belfast
Birmingham
Bristol
Cardiff
Coventry
Edinburgh
Leeds
Leicester
Liverpool
London
Manchester
Sheffield
Mental Health
Addiction
Anxiety
ADHD
Asperger's
Autism
Bipolar Disorder
Chronic Pain
Depression
Eating Disorders
Personality
Passive Aggression
Personality
Shyness
Personal Growth
Goal Setting
Happiness
Positive Psychology
Stopping Smoking
Relationships
Low Sexual Desire
Relationships
Sex
Family Life
Child Development
Parenting
Talk to Someone
Find Counselling
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Find Online Therapy
Trending Topics
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Neuroscience
The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.
Posted October 14, 2022
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Reviewed by Devon Frye
Last week, I had an interview scheduled with essayist Rebecca Morrison. We planned to discuss body image for an article she’s writing, so I did what I do: I searched the web for her previous work. The following title, published in Salon , popped onto my screen: “Why I Started Watching Porn When I Turned 50.”
Huh? The subtitle read, “I suspected my teens knew more about porn than me. I didn't want to talk to them about it until I did some research.” OK, I was intrigued. While pornography had zero to do with our discussion topic, I couldn’t resist.
Rebecca wrote that she’d wanted to “satisfy her curiosity” and be knowledgeable for her teens. By the end, she’d reported learning, for example: why porn's so popular, the difference between "soft" porn vs. other ratings, how adult entertainment widely influenced personal hygiene styles, and how to find female-friendly sites with ethically-sourced porn (e.g., respectful and consenting, legally made, and celebrating sexual diversity). That all got me thinking.
I realized that my primary education in erotica happened in college in the 90s. Back then, to attain videos such as Mummy Dearest or Chatterbox (yup, her vagina spoke), we’d have to work for it. We’d physically get in a car and drive to a local video store. Then, there’d be that “back room” with the black curtain. We’d scan the store to make sure no one was looking and then we’d almost jump behind the fabric. With a racy video finally in hand, there’d be one more step to get the porn back to the dorm. We’d head to the checkout counter where (probably to make us goodie-goodies squirm) we’d hear, for example, “Your Edward Penishands is due back on Monday.” (Did he have to say the title so loudly?)
Notice all the effort that went into attaining erotica? None of that’s needed nowadays. Online, kids may accidentally type the wrong address or a well-intended search term that results in porn images. Kids can also get random adult entertainment popups. Pornography is available anywhere there's the internet and a device, such as at home, school, a classmate’s tablet, or a playground.
For adults, pornography use tends to be personal and often secret, and may be associated with feelings of shame. It makes sense that parents and guardians might prefer to avoid the topic with their kids. Yet, by not addressing porn, you may be leaving your kids open to otherwise preventable self-image and mental health issues—possibly even legal problems.
According to a study published in 2022, of the 385 undergraduates surveyed, “28.2 percent of males and 23.7 percent of females recalled their exposure [to porn] as occurring between 9 and 11 years" of age. A small number of participants were exposed even earlier.
Though COVID and lockdowns could have blown up the ability to trust existing studies and data, so far, research indicates that porn use by minors has remained fairly steady.
Various studies confirm that youngsters sometimes use pornography as a source of information and education about sex. A 2017 synthesis of articles, published by the Australian Institute of Family Studies, offered the following key messages:
While many parents hope and believe their kids won’t fall prey to influences based on violence or fantasy , that's not necessarily the case. For instance, a 2019 study suggested that exposure to violent porn may be one risk factor for teen dating violence (TDF). In the study, female adolescents who were exposed to violent porn were “over 1.5 times as likely to perpetrate physical and threatening TDV, whereas male adolescents who were exposed were over 3 times as likely to perpetrate sexual TDV.”
It may also be important to consider the various styles of sex that kids may be exposed to through porn, especially those that it's especially important to be thoughtful, safe, and mindfully consenting about (e.g., BDSM ).
Yes, the ongoing, built-in risk of kids witnessing adult sexualized stills and videos leaves a lot to discuss with innocent, young minds. When the time is appropriate, consider the following.
Please do what you need to ensure you can have the healthiest and most honest, helpful, protective, and shame-free conversation possible with your kid(s).
This blog is for informational purposes and does not provide therapy or professional advice.
Bernstein, S., Warburton, W., Bussey, K., & Sweller, N. (2022). Mind the gap: Internet pornography exposure, influence and problematic viewing amongst emerging adults. Sexuality, Research and Social Policy. https://doi.org/10.1007/s13178-022-00698-8
Bőthe, B., Vaillancourt-Morel, M. P., Dion, J., Paquette, M. M., Massé-Pfister, M., Tóth-Király, I., & Bergeron, S. (2022). A Longitudinal study of adolescents' pornography use frequency, motivations, and problematic use before and during the COVID-19 pandemic. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 51 (1), 139–156. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-021-02282-4
British Board of Film Classification. (n.d.) New research commissioned by the BBFC into the impact of pornography on children demonstrates significant support for age-verification. https://www.bbfc.co.uk/about-us/news/children-see-pornography-as-young-…
Jochen, P. & Valkenburg, P. M., (2016). Adolescents and pornography: A review of 20 years of research. Journal of Sex Research, 53 (4-5), 509-531. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2016.1143441
Morrison, R. (2022, April 16). Why I started watching porn when I turned 50: I suspected my teens knew more about porn than me. I didn't want to talk to them about it until I did some research. Salon.com
Perry, D. L. (2016). The impact of pornography on children. American College of Pediatricians. https://acpeds.org/position-statements/the-impact-of-pornography-on-chi…
Quadara, A., El-Murr. A., & Latham, J. (2017). The effects of pornography on children and young people: An evidence scan. Melbourne, Australian Institute of Family Studies.
Rostad, W. L., Gittins-Stone, D., Huntington, C., Rizzo, C. J., Pearlman, D., & Orchowski, L. (2019). The association between exposure to violent pornography and teen dating violence in grade 10 high school students. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 48 (7), 2137–2147. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-019-1435-4
Alli Spotts-De Lazzer, MA, LMFT, LPCC, CEDS-S, is the author of MeaningFULL: 23 Life-Changing Stories of Conquering Dieting, Weight, and Body Image Issues.
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The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.
Published September 22, 2022 12:00pm EDT
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Oklahoma Education Secretary Ryan Walters argues school administrators are more concerned with 'woke ideology' than students' development.
Let’s get one thing straight about Banned Books Week: there are no banned books in America. The American government does not prohibit the publishing or importing of books as Czarist or Communist Russia did. Books sexualizing children are not burned in a pyre in front of gender clinics — instead, pornographic books for kids are meticulously collected for displays in school libraries and promoted by the American Library Association’s "Banned Books Week."
In America, "banned" books are celebrated, commissioned, and distributed on the manufactured outrage that they are "banned." It's like having a party every day to protest how you’re never allowed to have parties. Banned Books Week is a marketing campaign pretending to be a protest, and this year they are marketing to groomers. When nine out of the Top Ten Most Challenged Books are "considered to be sexually explicit" or "considered to have sexually explicit images," Banned Books Week looks a lot more like Porn For Kids Week. Even The Boston Globe rewrote an article after it falsely stated that I called to ban books.
The most challenged book, Gender Queer, is a graphic comic book-style autobiography by Maia Kobabe containing cartoon images of children performing oral sex, numerous penises, pedophilia, masturbation while driving, and "bonding with friends over erotic gay fanfiction." Although these images sound objectively sexually explicit, the ALA still pouts that these images are merely "considered" to be sexually explicit, presumably by pesky parents protecting their children from the trauma of pornography.
According to the ALA, libraries make "informed choices" about which books to include in (or exclude from) their collections by using a selection criteria that includes "appropriateness to the age and level of the user." Books in school libraries should "be appropriate for the subject area and for the age, emotional development, ability level, learning styles, and social, emotional, and intellectual development of the students for whom the materials are selected."
The reading age for Gender Queer is "18 years and up."
One must ask the ALA: if pictures of children performing sex acts in adult books are appropriate for children in school libraries, is there any book that isn’t appropriate? Saturating pornography in diversity does not sanitize pornography for children’s eyes.
The very existence of ALA’s selection criteria concedes that some books should not be included in school libraries . Selection is not censorship. But who gets to select the books? Banned Books Week would have you believe that parents wield unlimited power in selecting books in school libraries because they are the ones accused of "banning" them. This is a lie.
According to Bannedbooks.org, "Banned Books Week brings together the entire book community — librarians, booksellers, publishers, journalists, teachers, and readers of all types — in shared support of the freedom to seek and to express ideas, even those some consider unorthodox or unpopular."
The key word in that mission statement is "some." By "some" who consider certain ideas to be unorthodox or unpopular, ALA means anyone objecting to children’s books with pornography, even when that "some" makes up a majority.
Banned Books Week is not about freedom or ideas. It isn’t about government censorship. It’s about power — the power to influence the values and character of a generation and, thereby, an entire country. And that power lies not with parents, but with librarians, education "experts," and corporations.
Why isn’t Abigail Shrier’s Irreversible Damage featured during Banned Books Week after Target banned it and Amazon suppressed it? Surely the free expression of ideas includes books that raise questions about the mastectomies and castrations of children. I can’t imagine why incoming ALA President, Emily Drabinski, a self-described "Marxist lesbian," would NOT want to include a book about the medical abuse of children with gender dysphoria in Banned Books Week. Was there a "selection criteria'' for the Top Ten Banned Books too?
The actual banned books aren’t part of ALA's LGBTQ ad campaign. A book is truly banned when the ideas of the book are so suppressed that the majority of society isn’t even aware that these ideas existed before they were suppressed. None of ALA’s top ten books fit that criteria.
Perhaps ALA’s "banned books" represent a legitimate societal objection to the normalization of a certain criminal behavior that merely naming on Twitter gets you banned yourself.
In that sense, no books are banned in America. Just people are. Well, "some" people are banned…and it’s never a librarian.
Nicole Solas is a senior fellow with Independent Women's Forum Education Freedom Center and a Rhode Island mother.
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Published October 14, 2022 12:00pm EDT
By
Jessica Chasmar | Fox News
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Fox News’ Mike Emmanuel reports on a Fairfax County, Virginia, twice-convicted sex offender who was allowed to work for nearly two years before being fired.
Nearly 270 public educators were arrested on child sex-related crimes in the U.S. in the first nine months of this year, ranging from grooming to raping underage students.
An analysis conducted by Fox News Digital found that from Jan. 1 to Sept. 30, at least 269 educators were arrested, which works out to roughly one arrest a day.
The 269 educators included four principals, two assistant principals, 226 teachers , 20 teacher's aides and 17 substitute teachers.
At least 199 of the arrests, or 74%, involved alleged crimes against students.
The analysis looked at local news stories week by week featuring arrests of K-12 principals, assistant principals, teachers, substitute teachers and teachers’ aides on child sex-related crimes in school districts across the country. Arrests that weren't publicized were not counted in the analysis, meaning the true number may well be higher.
Only 43 of the alleged crimes, or 16%, did not involve students. It is not known whether another 10% of the
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