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By Jeffton Banks
Topic: Parodies Jan 13, 2022

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So I decided to follow up my Best Superhero Parodies list and Authentic Lesbian’s TV Parodies megalist with a list of the best non-superhero movie parodies. Our parody category sports over 1300 movies. That’s a tall order… and a lot of porno watching.
There are plenty of titles in there that can only very generously be labeled as a parody or a spoof. But dissecting down to a list of fifteen was a really rough challenge. I desperately wanted to include the likes of Edward Penishands —the parody of Tim Burton’s classic that stars Sikki Nixx looking like The Cure’s Robert Smith with giant deformed dongers for paws. And I really wanted to put in Buffy The Vampire Layer , since I literally think about that title every single day of my life (not a typo)... but that movie looks like someone making fun of how low-budget and poorly acted pornos are (which we here know is a misnomer, and that there’s some incredible stuff out there).
I wanted to mention a few late cuts from the list that are absolutely worth your time (and if we expand the list will probably be mentioned next). The Grinch pops Cherie DeVille , Eric John , and Michael Vegas (as the Grinch) into movie-quality makeup that makes me feel weird for having a boner… and a young Chloe Cherry kills it in her ornate wig as the lass that teaches the Grinch about what Christmas spirit really is. The Official Friday The 13th Parody brings equal parts scary, sexy, and silly when their Jason swaps out an axe for a giant dick filled with corrosive cum. The Official Friday Parody successfully channels the comedy classic with a hot all-black cast and women of varying body types (which isn’t seen often enough in mainstream porn). And The Violation Of Chelsie Rae somehow manages to adapt one of my favorite films, A Clockwork Orange , into an aggressive lesbian social commentary with all-lady gangbangs. Since I’m sure you’ll agree with me that those sound incredible, you just know that the 15 I popped onto the list are something else.
At the height of parody-mania in porn, AAA studio New Sensations was one of the best in the industry. I highly recommend the parodies of Seinfeld and The Office —which didn’t quite make the TV list. And I’d also like to suggest the late cut Big Lebowski parody.
As for The Breakfast Club , director Lee Roy Myers (who’d later go on to find a calling doing his own spoofs as Wood Rocket ) did an incredible job of capturing the look and feel of the John Hughes-directed inspiration. Chad Alva does a great job playing an obnoxious riff on the Judd Nelson role (who eventually bangs the dean, Samantha Ryan ). Andy San Dimas quadrupled my crush on the Ally Sheedy character, playing a shy outsider with a nasty problem of touching herself in public. It’s a fun fuck flick, and really feels like watching an X-rated Brat Pack movie.
How is it that one of the best parodies managed to pre-date the parody boom by years, get made by a company that never really did parodies, and get based off of a somewhat obscure cult classic? The answer is pretty simple: Elizabeth Starr , the monster-titted (36O!!!) star, director, and studio head behind the movie, was obviously a fan of the original Russ Meyer movie. Faster Pussycat, Kill! Kill! was an exploitation movie about three sexy go-go dancers that go rogue and become killer criminals. It, and the other Russ Meyer films, are hypsersexual to begin with and almost without exception star women with ginormous inflated tits… so it should be no real surprise that a Meyer devotee would bump up her own sweater puppies. The film is a triumph of capturing the spirit of the original and making it hardcore. Where most parodies and spoofs rely on gags and teasing the source material, this one oozes love—and it shows!
Digital Playground had a string of monster-hit feature films built on their talented directors and cadre of heaven-sent contract stars, Jesse Jane , Kayden Kross , Raven Alexis , Riley Steele , and Stoya . While everyone remembers the Pirates movies, arguably the best of the bunch was actually a parody called Top Guns (which is honestly less a parody than a riff of the original). The flick centered on a group of hotshot women jet-pilot aces and their competition with some flyboys. Everyone gets a spectacular B/G scene on their own… and we are treated to an awesome orgy in a hangar that is not to be missed!
Some movies are such low-hanging fruit for a porn parody that it becomes a severe disappointment if they don’t get made. Luckily the Magic Mike series, starring Channing Tatum, was crafted expertly into a fine, fine fuck film by Brad Armstrong . Handsome thespian Seth Gamble stars in the lead role: a down-on-his-luck type who gets introduced to the lucrative (and highly sexed) world of male stripping. Make no mistake though, this movie is not just for the ladies (although they might really dig it and its premise… especially if they liked the Magic Mike movies). There are some really great hardcore clips here, and some great writing and acting, too. I give it two banana hammocks up!
You better grease up your lightning if you’re going to be watching this fun flick. Seth “What Can’t He Do” Gamble again gets the nod as the lead in this Grease porn parody. Will Ryder practically single-handedly created the parody craze of the 2010s. And it is his sense of humor, the sophomoric and the clever interwoven, and the great lyrics to the spoofs of the iconic Grease songs that really make this parody something to behold. Who knew that the 2010s could do the 1970s doing the 1950s (but with lesbian sex and anal jokes) so well? It’s also worth mentioning that Kiera King makes for a killer Rizzo!
Star Wars is such a cultural touchstone and phenomenon that it has been the subject of both parodies and spiritual porn companions since its release back in 1977. But the best to have done it so far has to be the Vivid version. The casting, from Lex Steele 's Vader to porn royal Tom Byron 's Obi Wan (replete with silly British accent), was inspired. Oh, and can you guess who played Luke? Yeah, Seth Gamble. The Star Wars parody is guaranteed to make you do two things: form (or cement) a die-hard crush on Allie Haze , and cum with Force (cue rimshot).
With Burning Angel essentially being the mainstream hub for all things alt, it’s pretty easy to forget that they began in the DVD/movie market with parodies. And while Re-Penetrator is an absolute classic parody and everything you could want in a cult horror tribute, I am giving a nod to B.A.’s love letter to the gruesome chainsaw-fueled misadventures of Mr. Ash Williams. Evil Head is every bit as gross and goopy as their other tremendous horror remakes and, a decade later, I still say that this is one of Tommy Pistol 's signature performances. The acting is great, and it is still incredible to me how sexy deadites can look. I’ll also posit this hot take: pound-for-pound, I think Burning Angel is the best parody studio we’ve ever had.
Speaking of Tommy Pistol… he makes the perfect person to channel Nicolas Cage in the parody of this depressing drama. The Leaving Las Vegas parody shows that porn parodies can also be genuinely dramatic and not skimp on sexiness. Pistol’s unique brand of enthusiastic acting pairs well with the idea of an alcoholic working to drown himself in one last mega-binge. And Anikka Albrite (and her spectacular ass) make for a magnificent Elizabeth Shue proxy, portraying the beleaguered prostitute that falls for the lead. While not nearly the touching performances of Annika’s, the standout scene is a shockingly explosive romp between a cruel pimp played by Evan Stone and his favorite gal, Lily Carter .
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Fast Times At Ridgemont High , but from what I can recall, Loose Times is only in the loosest sense (see what I did there?) a parody. More likely it was just a way for the studio to capitalize on the popularity of the Hollywood film to push a feature that featured academic antics. But while the similarities might be slight, it doesn’t take away the fact that Loose Times is a really good classic film chock full of stars from the Golden Age. So if you’re looking for some early/mid-80s fuckery full of schoolgirl uniforms , tanlines , and daydream fantasies, then Ridley High is the school for you!
You might be thinking to yourself, "How in the hell do you make a porno based off Tarantino’s Inglorious Basterds ?" It’s certainly a tall task: turning a hyperviolent tale of a small guerilla squad of Nazi hunters in WWII into fap fodder. But stalwart French studio Marc Dorcel not only did it, but did it really, really well. The titular Bitches fight the Krauts by way of espionage and sabotage at a brothel. This allows for some really fantastic sex scenes. The movie is full of the most beautiful European women (including one my all-time faves, Eufrat ) in period costume, lingerie, and pearl necklaces. It is a wonderful film that gives up a little in terms of Quentin’s witty banter, but makes up for it in titties.
Carolina Jones is a play on the wildly popular Indiana Jones franchise, a callback to the pulp adventure stories of the early 20th Century. But in many ways, Carolina Jones winds up being more representative of those old pulp adventures. Because the flick is already XXX, director Ethan Kane didn’t have to worry about getting a little bit more adult with the action, instead of pulling punches the way the Spielberg movies did. Carolina is played by Ava Rose , who I would watch in anything . She is joined by a plucky sidekick with a Southern twang in the beautiful and bubbly Bree Olson . The film is full of action, violence, intrigue… and sex! And if that weren’t enough to get you into the idea of this movie, buying it also gives you access to BTS footage and seven bonus scenes featuring Bree and Ava. Your genitals will thank you!
Maddy O’Reilly is beautiful and has a booty that doesn’t quit… and she plays Dorothy in Will Ryder’s rendition of the timeless classic, The Wizard Of Oz . Director Will Ryder (his name comes up an awful lot, doesn’t it?) keeps some of the original feel from the milestone movie, but also manages to simultaneously play up the camp factor and modernize some of the musical numbers (so it doesn’t feel like a period piece). When you sit down and think about Oz , you realize quickly that every single possible pairing sexually in the movie is its own kind of weird… and it definitely doesn’t disappoint. For example, did you ever expect to see the Tin Man get it on with the Wicked Witch? And while it makes perfect sense given the source material, Ryder gives us something that is super, super rare in a mainstream porno: sex with a little person (in this case the very cute Stella Marie as the fucked Munchkin). Oh, and just a quick warning if you are afraid of your childhood being ruined—the film starts with Auntie Em sucking cock to keep her farm.
I have zero idea why this movie is not talked about more. Perhaps because it’s one of very few 80s movies that appear to have been made outside of big studios of the time… and perhaps because it appears to still be under independent control. But what could be more 80s and more brilliant than parodying Michael Jackson and his horror-themed concept Thriller ? Everything about this movie is classic: the sex is great, the dancing is great, the effects and makeup are fun, and the music is genuinely good . It has all the trappings of a terrific midnight movie, but with hardcore sex! The film stars 80s legend Taija Rae , and I don’t want to say any more about this weirdo masterpiece for fear of ruining it.
Don’t let the fact that this was filmed in 3D make you think that the movie is just one big gimmick. This is a master class on porn parody. Evan Stone hams it up perfectly as the proxy for Billy Murray’s Peter Venkman. The rest of the cast fills in perfectly… even the non-sex roles. The old librarian ghost gets a bit of an update to give her the best ass a ghost has ever had in Alexis Texas . As the Janine character, not only does Sarah Shevon take phone calls… she also takes two cocks at the same time. And just wait until you see what they’ve done with the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man scene! This movie is equal parts MAD magazine spoof and fan tribute, and Axel Braun was the absolute perfect choice to helm it.
I’ve written about my fondness for the Peter Pan parody in the past. The story practically cries out for a porn parody, so it is terrific to see someone as capable as Axel Braun handling the duties on it. This movie isn’t a direct parody of any one adaptation or version of Peter Pan , but instead draws upon several different iterations of the ceaselessly covered story. The movie has pirates, Indians, faeries, magical heroes in green tights, and a whole lot of tits and ass. Who could reasonably want anything more? Every sex scene in this is award-worthy. But for my money, it is the three-way between Tinkerbell, Princess Tigerlily, and Tommy Gunn that’s the can’t-miss banger!
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