Porn Olympic Games
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By:
Adam Tod Brown
August 06, 2012
Turns out, our urine is changing fish behavior.
Mike Judge knew “Idiocracy” was prophetic, even as he made it.
The year 2000, when no shin was safe.
Turns out, "I Shot the Sheriff" is about birth control.
The truth (about these movies) is out there.
Like anyone else, we've been keeping our eyes on all of the breathtaking and inspiring images coming out of the 2012 Olympic Games in London. As we've been going through these soon to be iconic images, we couldn't help but notice a recurring theme. A lot of the pictures just kind of look like porn. For example ...
It's not the facial expression. It's not the teammate's facial expression. It's not even the ridiculous looking seizure helmet. What is it about this picture that makes us laugh? Simple: A quick survey of the positioning of that "man's" hand makes it shockingly obvious that he's stroking a vagina under that Speedo. No, not the left hand that he's using to keep his clitoris out of his teammate's line of sight, we mean the other hand that is in no way indicative of a man masturbating. The facial expression is, though, and there are some sex organs you can pleasure with a hand motion like that.
We shouldn't be surprised by this unusually kinky development from the world of water polo. The Olympics are a freaky place. Check out this quote from US women's soccer goalkeeper Hope Solo about the state of boning at the XXX Games ...
"With a once-in-a-lifetime experience, you want to build memories, whether it's sexual, partying or on the field. I've seen people having sex right out in the open. On the grass, between buildings, people are getting down and dirty."
See? When the daughter of the guy from Star Wars is even fessing up to all the sexing, you know things have taken a turn for the skank at the London Games. And masturbating water polo players are just the beginning.
This aerial shot of the Olympic road race was intended to give viewers at home a bird's eye view of the action. Instead, it gave viewers at home a bird's eye view of some dude's "action". The only thing that would make this picture sexier is a pair of boobs. Because nothing is hotter than boobs on an Australian dude splayed out on a rooftop in a thong.
Granted, it's next to impossible to make a beach volleyball photo not sexy, but this one gets the feature here for implying that a lost point is seconds away from devolving into a deleted scene from Black Swan . But honestly, any sport would look hot if it was photographed the way beach volleyball is, right?
Wrong. This shot is from a project by a Metro writer who decided to shoot other Olympic sports in the same crotch-emphasizing manner that's normally reserved for beach volleyball. The results, as you may have a already guessed, were the exact opposite of sexy .
Ha! Nice try, joker, but we see what's happening here. This is cheating. It's not like NBC aired this exact shot. No, it took some pervert hitting the pause button on his DVR at the perfect moment, making this image seem much more erotic than it actually is. But rest assured, your family is in no danger of seeing anything this racy just by watching the Olympics.
Cracked.com: Come for the dick jokes, stay for the lies. Of course you'll see something that racy just by watching the Olympics. At least you would have when the above shot of British diver Tom Daley happened. Everything about that picture says "Coming up at 11, on Cinemax." And the best part about it is that it's far from the only one.
During the broadcast, that graphic stayed up, covering Tom Daley's already close-to-nonexistent Speedo long enough for dude to take in some calisthenics ...
Wonder why everyone is looking at him so funny ...
And then wash away the stress of worrying about any of it in a nice, hot shower ...
Seriously, where is that shower even coming from? Is it attached to anything or have London's hobos been kidnapped and tasked with pouring water on the athletes during the swimming and diving competitions from some location high above the stands?
And who is P. Waterfield? Our best guess ... he's the guy giving Tom Daley a friendly reach around from somewhere behind that blue wall.
We've got your morning reading covered.
15 Logical inconsistencies from the best show to ever have a theme song by They Might Be Giants.
To think, instead of zero we almost had two movies starring Christina Ricci opposite Brad Pitt.
For one, there'd be way more facial hair.
A legendary scream queen (who's actually a baroness).
Which celebrities in 'This Is The End' ended up where on the morality spectrum?
Wherever there are lost souls searching for meaning, there are sociopathic swindlers eager to exploit them for their own financial, sexual, or plain old evil gain.
COPYRIGHT © 2005-2022 Cracked is published by Literally media Ltd.,
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The primary hero of our today is John. He functions as a key agent and his job is to create figure skater neglect in the Winter Olympic Games. You attempt to fuck as many women that are candy as possible to reach your objective and may work as journalist.
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Categories: Adobe Flash Games
Views: 5k
This interactive video game offers a glimpse into ancient life. Beautiful figures and strong relationships were highly valued back then. Take a look at the game screen. Here is an ancient athlete. His muscular and beautiful face are a testament to his strength. The slim tunic is worn by the athlete. He doesn't mind if you don't like his clothes and will let you see his naked. Click on his clothing to do this. The athlete then takes off his clothing. You can feel his thick cock if you are able to see naked. Enjoy watching him jerk his cock repeatedly. Then you'll find a few cocksuckers engaging in anal sex. This game is for gay men who like to have anal sex. Start playing now if you are ready.
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Categories: Adobe Flash Games
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Do you know Erogames ? You can find lots of high-quality free to play games and visual novels ! Join the huge community and start playing exciting multi-player RPG adventures games (PC, Mac, Android and iPhone compatible)
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Collect prizes and items in the mail with each battle won, as they will help you evolve your fighters. The longer you evolve your lovely warriors, the more their corporal appearance switches. And by"switches", we suggest"that they become supah uncovering, taunting you endlessly". And, if you can not escape from this headspace these hot hot visuals have pushed one into, the game does include a useful"car" mode which can perform the top moves, so you can keep concentrating on your latest win- or, you knowthat anything is holding your focus.
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A interactive 3D flash game where you learn the narrative of a mouth-watering and huge-boobed doll named Yuna. Thus Yuna ambled across town and went to the subway. Suddenly a unusual creature appeared behind her several lengthy tentacles. The monster melts her clothing and attacks Yuna. The tentacles begin to squeeze the doll her large watermelons and twist pink nipples. A creature wants to have intercourse with a huge-boobed gal. Apply your mouse and catches sight of to fuck a doll in her pink beaver and succulent arse. And make Yuna knocked up. Can the doll escape from the monster or will be a feminine incubator due to their unusual offspring? To figure out the answer you need to commence the game right now.
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Categories: Adobe Flash Games
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"Cummy Bender", a game that uses visual novel as its base, but also includes other gameplay additions such as elements of management and a dating simulator. The best part is that the story is based on the character Korra, from the animated show "Avatar The Legend of Korra". Our main heroine has had enough of the great adventures, and is now working as a model for a very unsavory man... who just happens to to be your uncle! You will need to ensure that the main star of the show who isn't happy with her new job, is satisfied. You can show your talent on camera! It isn't an easy task, as you'll soon see.
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You can play the hentai online sex game during which you will have the opportunity to fuck a beautiful and full-bosomed lady in her tight, round and sexy sex. Take a look at the game's screen. The woman is chained to a chair. The management icons are located on the left and right side of the screen. To alter the animation of the sex scene, click the icons with your mouse. First, you must dress the female. Next, massage her thighs to get her wet. After her pink cunt is wet, you can start fucking her with a huge vibrator. The woman screams in pain, joy and despair. To bring the woman to multiple anal sexual highs, fuck her in her beautiful and spherical sex. Do not hesitate to start raping the attractive and voluptuous woman immediately.
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Princess Peach and Princess Rosalina finally obtained their very own game! However, nobody has ever told them this game really is hentai parody... The gameplay is effortless - it is created of first person standpoint of Mario who's fortunate enough to get a princess railing his sausage. Just click on the portrait of this princess taht you choose along with also the change will happen in a minute. You can also switch inbetween more than a couple of unique places and fashions - so you want simply to click one of those green dots at the top portion of game display. Somewhere among them there are two bonus scenes - you with a sucky-sucky and a single with a boob banging. In othe words should you wanted to feel yourself as Mario not since he's breaking bricks with his mind but since he's fucking blond princesses then that game is exactly what you need!
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The original Rumi artwork is redone here and the new Rumi is imagined to be someone you create for yourself. You use all the options to create the Rumi of your own dream.
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HnetaiKey's redhead slut is always seeking new and thrilling adventures. When she has had enough of getting the hard cock in her fuckholes, she is ready for the next step: tentacles action. This is all you need to know about the mini-game. There won't even be dialogs or stroies so you only have to ask yourself if you are into tentacle-themed hentai. If so, you will enjoy these few minutes with this adorable redhead. And if you're not, you are welcome to visit our website to find other entertainments that are hentai-oriented in many different genres.
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You are a plumber and a local sorority called you to fix their pipes. As you inspect the college dorm, you encounter many slutty college girls, and get into some schoolgirl action. These horny girls need dick and love to suck the cock.The college girls also have tons of sex toys and show you how to use a dildo in their tight pussy. You even get to enjoy a sexy magic show, with demon babes riding dick.
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Do you know Erogames ? You can find lots of high-quality free to play games and visual novels ! Join the huge community and start playing exciting multi-player RPG adventures games (PC, Mac, Android and iPhone compatible)
Views: 110k
Collect prizes and items in the mail with each battle won, as they will help you evolve your fighters. The longer you evolve your lovely warriors, the more their corporal appearance switches. And by"switches", we suggest"that they become supah uncovering, taunting you endlessly". And, if you can not escape from this headspace these hot hot visuals have pushed one into, the game does include a useful"car" mode which can perform the top moves, so you can keep concentrating on your latest win- or, you knowthat anything is holding your focus.
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A interactive 3D flash game where you learn the narrative of a mouth-watering and huge-boobed doll named Yuna. Thus Yuna ambled across town and went to the subway. Suddenly a unusual creature appeared behind her several lengthy tentacles. The monster melts her clothing and attacks Yuna. The tentacles begin to squeeze the doll her large watermelons and twist pink nipples. A creature wants to have intercourse with a huge-boobed gal. Apply your mouse and catches sight of to fuck a doll in her pink beaver and succulent arse. And make Yuna knocked up. Can the doll escape from the monster or will be a feminine incubator due to their unusual offspring? To figure out the answer you need to commence the game right now.
Tags: rape , tentacle , domination , dungeon , tentacles , yuna , final fantasy , dungeon siege , 3d giant mistress feet domination , poses
Categories: Adobe Flash Games
Views: 66k
Seems like Tifa Lockhart can not live sans seeing our milk plant - it is time to get a chapter four! Busty dark-haired out of"Final fantasy" game series Tifa wants her enormous tits to be milked from time to time... and pushing will be successgul if yo
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