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Carina Hsieh and Emma Glassman-Hughes

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26 Women on When They Knew They Were Bisexual
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Carina Hsieh
Sex & Relationships Editor
Carina Hsieh lives in NYC with her French Bulldog Bao Bao — follow her on Instagram and Twitter • Candace Bushnell once called her the Samantha Jones of Tinder • She enjoys hanging out in the candle aisle of TJ Maxx and getting lost in Amazon spirals.

Emma Glassman-Hughes
Emma Glassman-Hughes (she/her) is a freelance writer for Cosmopolitan and a part-time editor at the Boston Globe.

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"I mostly watch lesbian porn, but I’ll watch straight porn if the guy plays a minimal role and his face isn’t showing."
Porn isn’t for everyone, but the myth—long touted as fact—that women categorically don’t like porn is totally bogus. In fact, in a report published in 2019, researchers proved it’s bogus when they found that “the neuronal response to visual sexual stimuli … is independent of biological sex,” AKA erotic images and videos make everyone horny regardless of gender. But when most mainstream porn sites still cater heavily to the male gaze , what kind of porn do women like, and what are we actually consuming?
Pornhub’s annual polls and surveys consistently find that “lesbian porn” ranks number one with female viewers. In 2019, Pornhub reported that lesbian porn was 151% more popular with women when compared to men. In the United Kingdom, female viewers were 31% more likely to search for “rough sex.” And in Mexico, women were 95% more likely to view “striptease” content.
It’s also common to consume porn featuring sex acts or scenarios you wouldn’t experience in real life, or that you’re curious about but not yet ready to try yourself. Psychotherapist Amanda Luterman , founder of the Center for Erotic Empathy in Montreal, says this may actually be a trick of mindfulness.
“It means you don’t have to think about real life when aroused. You're totally in the present, experiencing what you're stimulated by at that moment, because it's not bringing memories or comparisons or anything else. You're just enjoying it,” she says. “It’s a great exercise in mindful, imaginative stimulation.”
Luterman also says watching, reading, or listening to porn that takes you out of your everyday sexual experiences might even make arousal easier. “Erotic narratives that do not bring about real life comparison are probably more likely to be arousing easily than ones that require you to push away distractions of your personal life,” she adds.
Whatever gets you off, porn can be a handy resource in your pursuit of the orgasm . Below, 15 women and femme-identifying people reveal the go-to category of porn that never fails to get them over the hump.
1. “When it comes to my favorite type of porn, I look for chemistry, passion, storytelling, and mutual pleasure , in any genre.” —Angie, 45
2. “Lately I’ve been exploring different fetishes that I think I’ve had for a while but haven’t paid much attention to until now, like lesbian squirting and even pee porn . It’s really erotic watching women release so fully.” —Celine, 26
3. “I’m always changing up what I watch, but right now I am looooving dom/sub porn with lots of restraints and bondage, and orgasm denial. There’s something about completely giving yourself and your pleasure over to another person that really turns me o n about the sub, and then watching a dom work their magic is really hot, too.” —Lexie, 28
4 . “My go-to choice is soft, black-and-white, artsy porn GIFs. I find most of my porn on Tumblr and rely solely on GIFs to get off. Videos get me off too quickly, and there’s always something that throws me off since they’re so unpredictable. I like that with a GIF, I can watch it for five seconds, know what to expect, and trust that it won’t become offensive or gross in a later scene. I mostly watch lesbian porn, but I’ll watch straight porn if the guy plays a minimal role and his face isn’t showing. I’m bisexual, but I just find most men in porn to be so aggressive that it turns me off.” — Rachel, 26
5. “It’s a tie between FFM (female, female, male) threesomes and squirting . I like FFM threesome porn because there’s generally a lot of different sexy things going on to tune in to, and it’s a fantasy of mine that I’m not sure I’m ready to live out yet. As for the squirting porn, I like when the scene involves a couple. I think it’s hot to see a woman having an orgasm that intense with a partner.” — Celeste, 23
6. “There are two major categories I go to for porn: lesbian couples sex or multiple guys with one girl gang bangs . I find that if I haven’t watched porn in a little while, I prefer longer, softer, or more romantic lesbian porn; when I’m hornier or masturbating multiple times a day, I prefer more male-perspective porn, specifically gang bangs. I love imagining myself in those situations and tend to find that the hornier I am to begin with, the less realistic my fantasies I want my porn to fulfill.” — Hannah, 23
7. “I always find myself getting off on any type of hard-core porn that involves a woman being handled roughly and/or taken control of. Spanking, nipple play, and all types of fingering just put me in a mental place where I can’t help but feel good. TBH, anything that doesn’t include nipple or ass play is boring to me because it feels like wasted potential.” — Stephanie, 27
8. “My top choice is soft-romantic lesbian porn . It’s sensual, filled with foreplay, and erotic. It’s easy to place myself in their position and imagine I’m receiving oral. Any mainstream heterosexual porn minimizes foreplay on the woman and emphasizes positions that place the man as an aggressive superior. I also like two woman rimming/giving oral to a man. It’s a turn-on to see a man in a vulnerable act where he’s expressing the pleasure he’s receiving. I find that having the two women vs. the man balances the feminine/masculine energy, as men are the main characters of mainstream porn by default.” — Courtney, 27
9. “My top categories are usually lesbian, gang bangs, interracial, and female masturbation . I’m a bisexual woman currently in a long-term straight relationship, and when I watch porn, I usually like to visualize a situation that I’m not typically experiencing. I think these categories reflect my dating/sexual history prior to entering into my current relationship. These genres remind me of my sexual autonomy outside of my relationship. When I’m masturbating, it’s all about me and what I like, so I cover all bases.” — Leann, 25
10. “I almost exclusively watch girl-on-girl scenes . I love having sex with men, but guy/girl porn has always seemed so mechanical to me. Girl on girl has more kissing, more touching—it’s just sexier and more of a turn-on. While this isn’t the case for everyone, watching this kind of porn reconfirmed and allowed me to explore what I’d suspected for a while: I’m bisexual.” — Simone, 35
11. “If I’m looking on Pornhub, I tend to go for the ‘babe’ category, as it’s where I feel like the women tend to look like me, especially in terms of body type. Finding acceptable porn to watch feels like applying a harm reduction model . Within that category, I prefer amateur stuff, because it reproduces the kind of sex I enjoy having. However, recently, I’ve been trying to not go to Pornhub as much and buy more directly from sex workers for porn for political reasons. This is in contrast to the ‘for women’ category, which I have never liked. That feels like a caricature of feminine desire, which apparently means candles and soft music instead of hot people having sex in ways that would reasonably make any of the women participants orgasm.” — Fiona, 28
12. “ Amateur blowjob porn . I like the authentic enthusiasm of it—you have to be excited about BJs to film yourself getting or giving one. I also really like the sounds (if the receiver moans, talks dirty, etc.) because I find they seem more real than what you’ll typically hear in mainstream, produced porn. In my IRL sex life, I love both giving and receiving oral sex, so it turns me on a lot to see that represented in a way that feels real and even sometimes romantic.” — Kate, 27
13. “As a teenager, I definitely read a lot of smut on Wattpad or found decent porn blogs on Tumblr. There was lots of nonaggressive content created by women, which was amazing. Since Tumblr banned porn, I don’t really watch it as much. If I do, it’s usually a video of someone using a vibrator/another toy on someone else because it’s just slightly less fake than a man jackhammering some poor woman while she moans super dramatically.” — Kennedy, 20
14. “In terms of reading porn, I like all types and read a lot of the BDSM type. Some/most of it may be fanfic/self-insert because I have to have some sort of personal connection to the character to get into it. However, for watching, I’m only comfortable with romantic or affectionate-looking porn. I don’t want to see anything that even looks violent, even if there was consent . ” — Lauren, 24
12. “My go-to genre changes often. I’m currently into girls making out ...but nothing more than a li’l groping. I enjoy the simplicity of being with a woman because of how low-pressure and easygoing it can feel. Kissing can just get you there sometimes. But then some periods, I prefer big, burly, hairy men pleasuring and/or submitting themselves because it makes me feel like I’m seeing it from their perspective and I am them.” — Lindsay, 22
Quotes have been edited for clarity.

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Sure, the internet is home to what feels like infinite porn websites and porn movies, but that can also leave you paralyzed by choice. Or, if you're not into the misogynistic undertones that tend to go hand-in-hand with so much of mainstream porn and need help finding your own happy little safe haven of sexy but not sex ist porn to watch for your next party of one (or with your partner—like vibrators , porn can be enjoyed solo or with company), then don't worry because we have you covered.
Contrary to some of the backwards, reductive stereotypes out there, it is not just men flocking to porn websites. According to a 2019 study, a full 31 percent of women are now clicking for kicks of their own. Need more stats and data to back this common sense fact up? Pornhub reported that, in 2020, women made up 35 percent of the site's visitors worldwide, which marks a three percent increase over the previous year. The moral of the story: Women have always watched porn and now, thanks to the internet, they're watching more of it than in years past.
But what if you're feeling frisky, but know that you're more than a little picky about your porn selections? Pornhub might be the reigning king of internet sex watching, it's certainly not the only name in the game. Below, check out our curated list of under-the-radar, female-friendly porn sites worth opening up an incognito tab for.
COST: Free for some video access; starting at $9.99 per month for plus.
PinkLabel celebrates independent filmmakers who want to explore every desire imaginable. Whatever you're into, there's probably a (very well-made) film for it on this website, which also offers a selection of free films so you can get a taste for what you're signing up with if you go for a membership.
COST: Free for some videos; from $9.99 per month for plus access.
CrashPad Series offers beautifully-shot, LGBTQIA+ narratives, with gorgeous cinematography that celebrates all bodies. It's the kind of sexy, inclusive representation that's missing in other mainstream porn.
There's everything under the sun on SinfulXXX, but unlike other porn tubes, the quality of the filmmaking is outstanding. Whether you're looking for gentle and passionate scenes or sweaty and dirty ones, there's an artfully shot film for you.
Like other porn sites, there's a mix of everything on this website. But unlike others, it's curated based on recommendations from real female viewers, so there's a lot more female gaze going on under tags like "Amateur" or "Vintage." It's a huge selection in one place.
COST: Access packages range from $1 per day to $7.95 per month.
GirlCore is a rising star in female porn, and for good reason: The site has very high standards when it comes to production value, a mix of silly, energetic videos that offer a spin on porn tropes and romantic, sensual films that are more reminiscent of other female porn sites.
COST: $19.95 to sign up, $9.95 a month after, with other rates for individual videos.
Bright Desire bills itself as a "celebration of sex" that aims to provide ethical, sexy, smart filmmaking that "move[s] beyond the old cliches" of porn. The films often feature real couples or sexy solo videos, there's high-quality production and genuine storytelling for whatever kind of porn you're interested in watching.
Sometimes the best porn isn't watched—it's heard. Quinn is an audio-only porn site that caters to women listeners with a variety of steamy, fun categories. Look for audio stories that revolve around everything from "accents" to "butt stuff," and picture whatever works for you .
The site hosts a variety of pornographic content and describes itself as a "smart and sexy erotic destination for women, by women. It also brags that Parks and Rec alum Rashida Jones has named the site's founder, Angie Rowntree, as one of her favorite female porn makers—you know, if you like your porn to come with a celebrity endorsement.
A Dusk subscription gains you access to "unlimited porn for women" as well as sex lessons. The site promises that new videos are added daily, which means your subscription becomes more valuable every single day you have it.
This isn't a traditional pick, but we're including it anyway because good sex-ed is always sexy. Vivid-Ed is a division of Vivid Entertainment, but the site itself is run by sex educator and podcaster Tristan Taormino and promises to bring visitors "sex ed videos that are smart, sexy, educational and entertaining."
COST: Free trial, then $12.99/month or $59.99 for the year
Another entry into the exciting world of audio porn, Dipsea is a female-founded startup that focuses on storytelling to get you in the mood. Search stories by the pairing you're interested in, which are inclusive and come in a variety of scenarios (Her + Her stories, Her + Him stories, and Her + Them stories). And if you're feeling especially adventurous, Dipsea also accepts voice recordings from audio stars of the future. Plus, they have other stories that focus on wellness more generally, in case you're in a mood but not the mood.
COST: Free, but with premium content that costs as little as $8.33/month (opens in new tab) to access.
If you love sites like Pornhub because they're free and full of sex amateur-generated content, but wish they could just be fully female-friendly, then Bellesa is the site you (and your loins) have been yearning for.
COST: From $1 per day to $25 per month
Already a fan of the scripted films over at Bellesa? On their sister site, fan-favorite performers go off-book and tell the filmmakers who they're crushing on. Interviews are set up, and if everyone is down with everyone else, the cameras roll on their sexual encounters. It's a novel take on female porn with a sexy uncertainty and consent-focused approach that makes watching exciting and comfortable.
If you're looking for real-world sex with real bodies and real emotions, it doesn't get more real than Make Love Not Porn. The site bills itself as "the world’s first user-generated, human-curated social sex video-sharing platform." And yes, social sex means that the videos on the site some from real, regular people—not porn production companies. MLNP welcomes video submissions from adults of all ages (18 and over, obviously), genders, races, and sexualities.
Sounds of Pleasure is a simple, easy to navigate Tumblr dedicated to, as the name implies, sex sounds, including dirty talk, audio of people having sex and masturbating, and more.
COST: Plans starting from around $8/month (pro-rata).
The site features orgasm and confession vides from around the world and is updated at least five times a week. Beautiful Agony is also an ethical erotica source and promises that all contributors on the site have volunteered to appear and are paid a fee for doing so—they're also paid bonuses each time you watch or download their videos. A subscription gives you access to the site's full archive.
COST: You pay per minute (opens in new tab) with blocks of minutes starting at $2.95 for 10 minutes.
Good Vibrations After Dark is a feminist porn on-demand service from sex toy brand Good Vibrations. "We are proud to feature filmmakers and performers who are committed to pleasure, diversity, and serious fun," Jackie Strano, the company's executive vice president, explains (opens in new tab) .
COST: Staggered memberships, from $34.99 a month for a month-to-month membership to $143.40 a year for a yearly subscription.
The answer for women who crave real, intimate porn that's not just a male gaze-y tangle of limbs and orifices, XConfessions was created by awesome women who wanted an outlet for porn that's ethical (opens in new tab) and diverse. The member-only site provided a grant to 10 female directors to film their sexual fantasies and the response was a series of short porn videos shot with a sensual, emotional approach to great sex (and did we mention how cinematic they are?). Grab the popcorn and a vibe.
Cost: Erotic stories are free to read, and subscriptions are available for video.
This site has everything you could ever want when it comes to erotic content. It has stories, videos, and even audio porn (bite-sized erotic stories you can listen to). The films are made in-house and 100 percent ethically made. They
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