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Nicole Morley Wednesday 3 Jun 2015 3:31 pm


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There’s a generally accepted online rule that says if something exists, you can find porn for it.
It’s called rule 34 and if you haven’t heard of it, we’re sorry in advance.
Rule 34 isn’t sorry, however, for besmirching your childhood memories and it certainly ain’t worried if you think it’s a little freaky.
We’ve compiled a list of the most disturbing examples of rule 34 -so hopefully you’ll find the time for years of therapy.
You can pretty much guarantee all of your favourite TV shows and films have been warped into porn.
So, obviously, even Stan Smith from American Dad has been transformed into a bona fide love machine.
If you get your kicks from hairy many-eyed spider-women hybrids then you’re in luck, arachnophiles.
Or if you don’t, then stay away from spider porn if you ever want your genitals to work again.
The superhero and his sidekick as you’ve never seen them before.
Rest assured there are still plenty of pows, biffs and zonks!
Bizarrely, Tom Hanks isn’t involved in this movie masterpiece.
4. Pterodactyl Dinosaur Spermo Plasmoids
Thought that pre-historic creatures were safe from internet perverts? Nope, wrong answer.
Jurassic Park remains the 17th highest-grossing film of all time, but people just couldn’t get enough of those cheeky pterodactyls as there’s a video of a woman having sex with a trio of them.
Don’t be fooled by the gentle sounding name.
These black and white bears in this video will not ease you gently to sleep.
Clay-based porn is so popular a whole new genre sprung up, seximation.
And we’re sure you can work out what that entails.
The kickass assassin got a rather X-rated makeover.
We can’t tell you how it goes though, we had our hands covering our faces hoping Giles wasn’t involved.
This one is a real testament to rule 34.
Even innocent characters advertising snacks aren’t safe from pervy web porn fiends.






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Updated September 30, 2019


By Jerome London
Updated September 30, 2019





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Although the rule’s origins are disputed, Internet Rule #34 emerged sometime around the dawn of the millennium as a result of the fact that there was nothing so freaky—or even scarier, nothing so boringly normal—that you couldn’t find porn about it somewhere online.
Although the rule exists in different phrasings, this is the most concise and understandable version:
Would you like to see a dinosaur fucking a car or a spaceship fucking a planet ? Have you ever wondered what it would look like to see continents fucking? OK, how about gummy bears fucking—from behind, too? There’s even CD/lollipop porn if that’s the kind of thing that floats your boat. Internet Rule #34 covers it all. A 2013 article from Cracked about Rule 34 also lists American Dad porn, A Panda’s Lullaby porn, Pterodactyl Dinosaur Spermo Plasmoid porn, claymation porn, Mr. Peanut porn, and spider porn .
The concept of Rule #34 is thought to have first emerged in the notoriously mischievous backwaters of 4Chan, whose pranksters have had relentless fun with the theme ever since around 2000. (A single thread from 2008 logged over 365 user-submitted variations on Rule 34 before the thread was finally closed.)
The first known instance of Rule #34 appearing as a meme was in a 2004 webcomic drawn by Peter Morely-Souter after he was startled to see that someone had drawn the characters in the cartoon strip Calvin and Hobbes performing hardcore porn acts. The cartoon showed a male staring in shock at a computer screen and saying “CALVIN AND HOBBES?” It also listed Rule #34 itself as well as the subhead, “THE INTERNET, RAPING YOUR CHILDHOOD SINCE 1996.” It finally appeared as entries on Urban Dictionary and Encyclopedia Dramatica in 2006.
Technology researchers Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam explain that wherever there is the internet, there is not only porn, but there is also the meme of Rule 34:
“Today, Rule 34 thrives as sacred lore on blogs, YouTube videos, Twitter feeds and social networking sites. It’s frequently used as a verb, as in ‘I Rule 34’ed Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell on the judging table’.”
Like Godwin’s Law (online conversations will always turn to Hitler and Nazis eventually) and Poe’s Law (basically, it’s impossible to do satire without someone taking it seriously), Rule #34 is one of those Internet Laws that seems destined to never be broken. Just like the rule of gravity can never be broken in our universe, there may never come a time in world history where someone imagines a new form of pornography that they will ultimately be unable to find has already been done online…
…although, of course, there may be some exceptions.
This is why online pranksters have written several amendments of Rule 34—and even a Rule 35—just to cover all possible pornographic bases:
34. There is porn of it, no exceptions. 34.2. There are ponies of it, no exceptions. 34.3. If it exists, there’s an app for it. 34.4. If it exists, there is a YouTube of it. 34.4×2. If it exists, there is a Lego of it. 34.5. If it isn’t in Minecraft, there is a crafting idea video of it. 34.6. If it exists, there is a parody of it on YouTube. 34.7. If it exists, there is a Pokemon based on it. 34.8. There is dubstep of it, no exceptions. 34.34. Everything IRL is on the internet. 34.99. There is a mario paint composer version of it. 35. If no porn is found of it, it will be made. rule 35 of the internet 35.2. If no pony is found of it, it will be made. 35.3. If there is no app for it, it will be made. 35.4. If no poop is found, it will be pooped. 35.4×2. If there is no Lego of it, then make one. 35.5. If it is in Minecraft, the crafting idea video will be shoved into the farthest corners of YouTube. 35.6. If there is no parody of it, make one. 35.7. If there is no Pokemon based on it, there is/will be a Anymon based on it. 35.8. If no dubstep is found of it, it will be made. 35.35. If it is not on the internet it must be by midnight. 35.99. If no mario paint composer version is found of it, it will be made. 35∞. The number of objects and situations yet to be porn-ified spontaneously decreases over time.
Interestingly, some observers say that due to the explosion of online porn, Rule 34 hasn’t been broken—meaning, you can still find anything your sick little mind can imagine—but there’s so much porn these days—and so much of it involving a good-looking heterosexual couple having pretty standard heterosexual sex—that the sheer volume of middle-of-the-road porn may have recalibrated the search engines to the point where finding grainy photos of a man from the early 1900s in a full-length swimsuit from that era mounting a ladder on a beach in order to sexually penetrate a pony just might be a little harder to find.
But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t stop looking. It’s out there, believe that. Rule 34 guarantees it.

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By
Mashable Team on April 11, 2022


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The internet is home to just about any porn you could want.
Credit: Pornhub

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Welcome to Porn Week , Mashable's annual close up on the business and pleasure of porn.
Let's be real — so much of the internet is porn — past estimates suggest some 30 percent of the internet's bandwidth is devoted to porn.
Shocker, I know, people love porn. But with so much to chose from, where do you go for the very best porn? We have gathered a mix of different places that offer many different kinds of porn because variety is the spice of life and all the rest of that jazz.
Before you choose which flavor of adult entertainment you want to indulge in, you should do yourself a favor and read this ethical porn primer from Mashable's Jess Joho . Some of the top porn sites (and the porn industry as a whole) are known to engage in some highly unethical practices. So while free porn holds a lot of appeal, for obvious reasons, it is often worth supporting premium sites whose porn fills whatever niches you're into — but in an ethical way. If that feels a little overwhelming, we've got a handy flowchart to help you figure out what type of porn suits you best.
Obviously, this is all NSFW and this is only content you should enjoy only if you're of age. Alright, well then, here we go. Here are 10 porn resources for all the horny folks out there.
Considering Pornhub (opens in a new tab) is literally one of the most visited websites in the world , this is pretty obvious. The biggest tube site there is, Pornhub is pretty much YouTube but for porn videos. Whether it's your favorite pornstar or amateur videos, hardcore or soft, chances are Pornhub has what you're looking for — just endless amounts of sex videos.
Tired of watching videos and looking for something new? It might be a time to give audio erotica a try. Dipsea (opens in a new tab) is a good place to hit up if you're just dipping a toe into audio porn. It's an app that features a diverse and carefully curated selection of erotic stories. While you can do a free trial, it is a subscription service, which means you're actually supporting the people behind the stories.
OK, xHamster is pretty similar to Pornhub if we're being honest here. xHamster (opens in a new tab) is, as the name suggests, another XXX site that's chock full of free porn.
As Mashable's Anna Iovine has covered in great detail , the website FrolicMe (opens in a new tab) is aimed at providing porn actually aimed at women. That means the women featured in the porn are enthusiastically enjoying the sex in various idyllic settings.
"I want real chemistry, I want real connection, I want real intimacy," Anna Richards, founder of the erotic site, told Mashable. "I want to show real sex as opposed to a performance."
Bellesa (opens in a new tab) is a self-described feminist porn site. It offers free, long clips from the creators themselves. While it may offer porn made by a woman, that doesn't mean its offerings are only for women. These are scenes meant to get all kinds of people off.
You might have noticed that OnlyFans (opens in a new tab) was suddenly everywhere during after the coronavirus pandemic struck. Lots of famous , infamous , and everything-in-between people joined the cam site and gained lo. Basically, it's a website where you can directly support performers creating adult material.
ManyVids (opens in a new tab) is a community-focused online platform that gives creators control of their content and actually pays them when their work gets viewed. Users can purchase videos, custom videos, livestreams and more. There is also a free selection of videos from creators as well.
Another repository of erotic stories, Mashable's Iovine wrote that Quinn is effectively "the YouTube of audio porn." On Quinn (opens in a new tab) , you'll find user-uploaded amateur audio erotica of all different varieties.
Like OnlyFans, Fansly is a subscription-based platform for adult content creators to host their material. On this platform, creators can interact directly with fans. Fansly offers creators to offer both free and paid subscription services.
If you love books and romance novels and also you're kind of horny, then Literotica is the place for you. It's written erotic materials that'll help you get off.
This post was originally published in August 2020 and was updated in March 2022.

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