Porn Meltdown

Porn Meltdown



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hello friends, long time lurker and very shy about sharing but i think this may worth it.
i have a situation i'd like to share and comment with you all.
- I own a few apartments, wich i'm renting mostly to students since they are close to a big campus.
- Regarding women, im a complete beta idiot, im aware of my limits, i dont have much success, and i end falling too fast and too much for any girl who smiles at me twice.
- I'm in my 40s and it's been very long since i've dared to interact with another woman, i mostly hate them on a unconscious level i guess (my last gf really screwed me)
Considering this, now to the point.
3 months ago, i emptied one of the apartments, and it needed some work, i was considering to renew it a bit since it's one of my most profitable places (it's literally in front of the campus). It's a 1 room place, so i thought maybe expend some extra money on it and try to get a 2nd room to increase the income.
While i was considering all this, a girl called, she had been told by a friend about the place and she insisted on visiting even when i told her it would not be available for 6 months. We arranged to meet there that same day.
When i arrived she was already there, and i barely believed what i was seeing, she was absolutely stunning, 20yo, a beautifull face with deep green eyes, blonde hair on a pony tail, skinny, tall, very sensual figure. She wasnt dressed slutty at all, just some plain jeans and tshirt, but she looked sexy as hell.
On my scale of 0 to 10 she was a 23.
I was nervous all the time we were there, it always kill me to interact with a hot girl, on top of the looks she had a beautifull voice and she was kind and delicate.
i was sweating a lot but i managed to tell her about my thoughs about remodeling but she insisted that the apartment was perfect for her in its current state and pushed me... and like an idiot i ended agreeing renting it to her even when it wasnt what i wanted
i hated myself for a few days like i do when someone manages to take advantage of me like that... but i made the deal so i got the paperwork ready and we met there again
she signed and gave me the deposit. i was upset and it was noticeable, so she asked me if something was wrong... i dont know why but i told her, i told her everything... told her that she pushed me to do something i dont really wanted to and that i hated to feel uncomfortable around girls like her... i was angry and she freezed for a bit... i guess she wasnt expecting a 45yo man to confess being a shitty human being
she didnt said a word during my meltdown, so i was even more embarrased, i apologized and gave her the keys and ran to my home to hate myself a bit more.
a whole month passed, and she gave me a call, telling me i forgot to give her my bank account for her to transfer the rent, i was pretty sure it was on the contract but she insisted and asked me to come to discuss a few things about the apartment
i didnt liked the idea at all, but had to accept, so i went there the next morning.
so i knocked the door, and she opened it... i began to sweat right there guys... she was wearing the tinyest pajama i've ever seen... barefoot (im a feet guy)... her hair a bit messy... every inch of her was the very definition of sensuality
we went in, she offered me a coffee, i sat there in the couch and...
i freezed... she was there smiling... i was confused...
she placed her hands on my knees, and kept smiling... we were both in silence... i was REALLY sweating... my heart was jumping in my chest...
she said "i want to talk with you a few things... but first i think i need to apologize about what you told me last time"
she smiled and began to take my jeans out, i really could not believe any of it.... before i could think what to do she was giving me a blowjob, my very first one without a condom on...
it took me 30 seconds to orgasm... and she swallowed it... i was so embarrased that i wasnt able to speak at all...
so like that... she finished cleaning me... and sat by my side smiling
like nothing had happened and ignoring that i was half naked, she began to talk about the apartment... she wanted her room to be painted again and a few other things from the kitchen... of course i agreed to all, and during that talk i managed to relax... she was holding my hand all the time... she didnt seem to care that it was sweating
after that short talk... she asked me if the apology had been good enough and we were on good terms now... i told her that i never intended anything like that but of course i loved it and it was all more than good between us now
she seemed sincerely happy about what i said, it was time for her to go to the campus again so i went back to my place... very confused but well... i masturbated many times that day thinking about that.
Nothing else happened for 2 weeks and then i sent the painter to her place, that same night she called me, and told me that the paint was fresh and she wasnt able to sleep with that smell... she asked me if i knew any place she could sleep that day... i offered her an empty apartment i have not far from there... and out of nowhere she says "i was thinking in your place"
20 mins later she was naked in my bed, swallowing again my load...
then she began to kiss me... my hands were all over her, she was on top all the time... i wasnt able to do anything... she did it all... we spent there 3 hours of the best sex i've ever had. and she falled asleep with me there. i still doubt that i managed to make her orgasm even once... but she didnt care.
next morning she offered me a deal...
in exchange of a 30% discount on her rent, she would keep doing things like that. That would mean free rent for her because here the government pays students money when they come from unpopulated areas like her.
i dont need the money at all... but on the other hand... i cant help to think about a million ways this can derail...
she still looks and feels like an innocent girl from a small place, she has a boyfriend (dating him since high school) back at her town, but she insists on saying that he is more like a friend and she plans to end as soon as she comes back this summer. She wants to do this with me... she dont want a boyfriend... she wants us to be friends and help each other... and she chose me because she feels i cant harm her... wich is certainly true... if anyone can get hurt i know its going to be me... regarding the money thing, she admits that she expects a bit "more" from me but she want me to do it on my own judgement... and she explicitely said she dont want money... more like gifts or a weekend trip to somewhere nice... on the other hand she will walk the extra mile for me once in a while (she already did that recently)
i still have to give her a reply... but we've already done things a few times since then... she even agreed to try a few of my silly fantasies... so its implied that i have acepted...
my problem is that i think im again falling in love... how can i not love her when she is the kindest, nicest, sexiest, and more pleasing girl i've ever been with?
i know the age difference will make it impossible for her to take me seriously in the future, she even makes fun of it sometimes... but i cant help to enjoy the "moments" where reality seems to fade away between us...
That's all.... my only question is... am i doing ok by doing this... even when i know this will end with me in depression again? (and thats the best scenario i can think of...)
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I'm going to switch from being a republican because I'm sick and tired of all the privileged, fat crackers and closet homos whining all the time. This is 2012, your IRA is going to hell in the coming global financial meltdown regardless of who is in the white house, so why worry about trying to shelter your ill-gotten assets? Being a repub no longer means anything to me as much as i hate to admit.
fuck all you fat blowhards for making the choice to be dick heads. If i offend any of you, keep in mind, i don't really give a fuck, and never did.
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